Do you think regular porn watching could be damaging?

LegacyUser

Was just thinking about this.

I watch porn every day. Nothing strange just usually look for the type of girl I'm into getting f*cked. Been sort of bored by it for a long time but still do it, never tempted to look at heavier/degrading stuff

If I wasn't at home I wouldn't miss it (or even think of it) but when I am I would tend to look at it once or twice a day and have a **** in much the same way I'd have a cigarette or a cup of coffee.

I wonder does watching porn have any negative impact on interactions with women. I don't mean in the way I view women ie I understand porn is completely fake and the vast majority of girls aren't into anal or getting splurged in the face.

However I wonder am I less bothered with pulling women because subconsciously the option of watching porngirls is there. Also I wonder do I not get around to doing other things online because I get distracted by porn.

I understand there are porn addictions and obsessions but I'm not talking about that, that's clearly problematic. I'm just curious as to what other lads make of typical porn watching

sam34

serious answers only, folks. there will be zero tolerance for any muppetry.

Wibbs

Wasn't there some research recently that reckoned porn watching might cause erectile issues?

Ah here's some stuff on it

Dunno, it makes some sense psychologically alright.

Dravokivich

Depends on your reasons for doing it, if there are any problems, watching porn is a method you've applied to ease or even hide it, but not a cause of the problem.

The type of stuff you choose to watch is down to your own taste, so don't be too worried by that.

When trying to assess how it affects interactions with women, well that depends on your perception and expectations. They don't appear to be skewed by your usage of porn, however you really do make it sound like porn is a bit of a crutch. As in, porn appears to be your Plan B in the event you don't get lucky with a women, but with porn in the bag, you look at women as a Plan B. To be honest, I think you need to reconsider that last bit alright, just as you've questioned it yourself. Along the lines of, is it really a matter of "not being bothered?" or do you not feel capable?

The Corinthian

Reading your post and taking into account you're looking for negatives other than the extreme case of porn addition, your concerns are as follows:

• That it may give you unrealistic and/or negative sexual expectations of women.
• It is becoming an alternative to a real sexual relationship.
• You get nothing done online because of porn.

Of the first, there's probably some truth in it. Given this, just because you might want to practice some things that appear in porn doesn't mean you want to practice it all, or that women do not want to. For example, giving a facial is of absolutely no interest to me whatsoever, yet it has been requested of me more than once.

Now this may be because women too are influenced by porn, but even then I wouldn't be so certain. I'm old enough to have been sexually active before the Internet appeared in Ireland and even Playboy was illegal, and I can tell you for free that almost everything that you'll get in porn was already being practised behind closed doors, back then. Porn may have brought it out in the open more, and even promoted it, but to suggest it didn't happen would be flawed.

Of the second, there are plenty of reasons why one may avoid a relationship and instead turn to alternatives to meet their sexual needs and porn is only one of them. There are lots of people who have only fsckbuddy arrangements and do exactly the same. It's not porn that stops them from from getting into real relationships, it's a lifestyle choice, albeit often a subconscious one, because a fsckbuddy is far less hassle than a real relationship and they want the sexual aspect without that extra complication in their lives.

In the end, it's only an issue if porn or a fsckbuddy or whatever doesn't give you want you need. And generally, when that's the case, people will tend to go and fill that need.

Finally there's the question of whether it's stopping you from being productive when online. The answer is yes, but just as much as playing games or posting on Boards (for me). If it becomes a significant issue, however, then you're entering the realms of porn addition, but that - as you requested - is another topic.

In short, I think there's some truth in every concern you've raised. Given this, I wouldn't jump to conclusions either.

Real Life

Its going to be different for everyone. Its like anything else (drugs etc) some people will become addicted and it may become harmful. If you keep taking it to new levels because what you're watching doesnt do it for you anymore and you start to watch more violent stuff maybe.
I think most people can watch it and it will cause no problems but there is people who could be affected by it.
I remember reading something Ted Bundy said and i dont know how much you can trust this as he could have been just looking for something to blame but he said the one thing himself and all the other sex offenders in prison with him had in common was an addiction to porn and always looking for more extreme kinds because it was never enough.
But then again that does make sense because if they are that way inclined then they are going to want to see that type of porn so maybe it was their mindset that brought them to that porn rather than the other way around.

syklops

However I wonder am I less bothered with pulling women because subconsciously the option of watching porngirls is there

Well for me, I think the opposite would be true. Porn acts as a substitute to the real thing, not a replacement. I can't ever imagine a situation where Id rather to watch a movie over doing the real thing.

I suppose if you are worried about it, you should give it up for a week and see how you feel.

If I was young free and single, I can imagine nights when I want to stay in and watch some triple-x tube, but there would be nights when I am out and I am seeing pretty girls around me and a quick fumble in the corner of a nite-club would be way better then anything I find at the end of a google search.

I suppose the only thing porn changed for me, and its not just porn but TV in general is that I am conditioned to think she is not having a good time unless she is sounding like Meg Ryan in When Sally met Harry. Now after years of experience and a couple of frank conversations with people I am intimate with I know this is not the case, and have learnt other ways of knowing she is it enjoying things, but even then I sort of hanker for that kind of reaction. I know it defies logic, especially when I don't make a lot of noise when i am enjoying myself so why would she.

fog arty

I suppose it depends on the individual, I enjoy porn and find I last a lot longer with my partner.

proteinpolice

it changes your brain and expectations in women

syklops

proteinpolice wrote: »

it changes your brain and expectations in women

I've already talked about how it changed my expectations but that was film/TV as much as it was porn. How does it change your brain?

D'Agger

User banned for idiotic comment. To reiterate what Sam said - Zero Tolerance for smart ass comments

B 12

op you feel that you are watching too much porn, ergo you probably are. Like was said already take a break for a week, I'm curious are you getting any some and are getting out to try and get some if not ? or is this a subsitute thats gone on too long ?

riveratom

D'Agger wrote: »

User banned for idiotic comment. To reiterate what Sam said - Zero Tolerance for smart ass comments

Idiotic comment??!

http://yourbrainonporn.com/

LegacyUser

D'Agger wrote: »

User banned for idiotic comment. To reiterate what Sam said - Zero Tolerance for smart ass comments

Am what?

Of course porn changes your brain? The brain gets addicted to the dopamine release from viewing pornography and abstinence causes withdrawal symptoms and a longing for that dopamine release. This is well documented.

sam34

D'Agger wrote: »

User banned for idiotic comment. To reiterate what Sam said - Zero Tolerance for smart ass comments

riveratom wrote: »

Idiotic comment??!

http://yourbrainonporn.com/

a) the post containing the "idiotic comment" has been deleted

b) as always, sitewide, if you have an issue with a mod instruction/action please PM the mod in question rather than derailing the thread by discussing it there

BopNiblets

Saw this on Youtube the other day, it can be addictive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ya67aLaaCc

LostPassword

I love those "porn rewires your brain" things.

I'll tell you what rewires your brain - every single sensation that you experience. The wiring of neural pathways is reinforced by activation - that's just how brains work.

And the dopamine stuff is simply another way of saying that we do things that we enjoy. Describing this via the inter-neuronal transmission mechanism that underlies it is purposely deceptive and designed to be alarmist. OMG a chemical! OMG brains rewired! OMG a porn brain.

This isn't to say that some people don't have problems with porn (heck it's possible that it is damaging to everybody - I don't know) but one thing that I do know is brain-science and all of this stuff is ultra-bogus.

j2dab

Watch this:
http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/TEDxGlasgow-Gary-Wilson-The-Gre

LostPassword

j2dab wrote: »

Watch this:
http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/TEDxGlasgow-Gary-Wilson-The-Gre

Gary Wilson describes himself as an "anatomy / physiology teacher".

If he had a qualification he would mention it. Anatomy / physiology teacher is not a thing. He is a masseuse which involves teaching people about anatomy and physiology after a fashion I suppose. The golden rule of the internet is that people who describe their qualifications in such vague and meaningless terms are trying to con you. In any case, it is a foolish person who turns to a masseuse for neuro-biological insight.

http://www.beyondmassageaspen.com/garywilson/

dlofnep

Yes - it is very damaging. I watched the TED talk on the topic a few months ago and have been abstaining ever since. I had erectile issues, and delayed ejaculation (inability to finish during sex) - the latter a problem which I suffered with for 15 years. After a few weeks, both issues were resolved - and now sex is the best it's ever been in my life.

Porn and masturbation are a hollow, pointless experience. Regular porn + masturbation is harmful in my experience. I will never go back to it.

The Corinthian

dlofnep wrote: »

I watched the TED talk on the topic a few months ago and have been abstaining ever since.

Well don't live too healthily, as that could well kill you too...

dlofnep

The Corinthian wrote: »

Well don't live too healthily, as that could well kill you too...

I think I'll live Just about!!

Galwayguy35

dlofnep wrote: »

Yes - it is very damaging. I watched the TED talk on the topic a few months ago and have been abstaining ever since. I had erectile issues, and delayed ejaculation (inability to finish during sex) - the latter a problem which I suffered with for 15 years. After a few weeks, both issues were resolved - and now sex is the best it's ever been in my life.

Porn and masturbation are a hollow, pointless experience. Regular porn + masturbation is harmful in my experience. I will never go back to it.

In what way is it harmful?

As a single man at the moment I would watch it regularly and don't feel it is harming me in any way.

dlofnep

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

In what way is it harmful?

There is evidence to suggest that it affects the stability of your dopamine levels, which can have a profound impact on your mood, sexual drive and sexual performance.

Watch the TED talk for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

As a single man at the moment I would watch it regularly and don't feel it is harming me in any way.

Yes, I felt the same way until I quit. It has greatly benefited me. I will never masturbate ever again. I was exactly where you were a few months back - **** my blues away, leading the single life. Then I quit, found the enthusiasm to actively seek a girlfriend - found one and now have the best sex life I've ever had in my life. I had erectile difficulties, and 15 years of an inability to cum during sex. A few weeks into the project, I overcame both.

It is quite difficult to quit when you are single - But I did it, and I'm the better for it.

riveratom

dlofnep wrote: »

There is evidence to suggest that it affects the stability of your dopamine levels, which can have a profound impact on your mood, sexual drive and sexual performance.

Watch the TED talk for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU



Yes, I felt the same way until I quit. It has greatly benefited me. I will never masturbate ever again. I was exactly where you were a few months back - **** my blues away, leading the single life. Then I quit, found the enthusiasm to actively seek a girlfriend - found one and now have the best sex life I've ever had in my life. I had erectile difficulties, and 15 years of an inability to cum during sex. A few weeks into the project, I overcame both.

It is quite difficult to quit when you are single - But I did it, and I'm the better for it.

Agreed re porn, but what's a guy to do when you can't find a girlfriend? Even when you go on lots of dates which go nowhere!

Galwayguy35

dlofnep wrote: »

There is evidence to suggest that it affects the stability of your dopamine levels, which can have a profound impact on your mood, sexual drive and sexual performance.

Watch the TED talk for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU



Yes, I felt the same way until I quit. It has greatly benefited me. I will never masturbate ever again. I was exactly where you were a few months back - **** my blues away, leading the single life. Then I quit, found the enthusiasm to actively seek a girlfriend - found one and now have the best sex life I've ever had in my life. I had erectile difficulties, and 15 years of an inability to cum during sex. A few weeks into the project, I overcame both.

It is quite difficult to quit when you are single - But I did it, and I'm the better for it.

Ok but when a relationship ends a man goes from having regular sex to having none.

Everyone feels the need from time to time to relieve the tension so to speak and porn provides the visual stimualition to do this.

tfitzgerald

I don't think it causes any problems

dlofnep

riveratom wrote: »

Agreed re porn, but what's a guy to do when you can't find a girlfriend? Even when you go on lots of dates which go nowhere!

For me, it inspired me to get up off the couch - put more effort into myself and find a girlfriend. It was tough - but now I'm seeing a girl and so happy.

Adhamh

I posted that TED talk in another thread a few months back and I knew it was a matter of a time (2nd page) until someone posted it again. I don't really have anything valuable to contribute to this thread, but I just want to say that I actually find it a relief that we can discuss this seriously without being mocked as I think a lot of guys have problems without really realising it, such as myself until about a year ago.

I can only speak from personal experience, but internet porn has had such a huge, huge, negative effect on my life. I don't think porn per se is all too bad, as Gary Wilson says, it's high-speed never-ending internet porn that's the bad stuff. I got broadband at the age of 17, before I ever even kissed a girl and everything I learned (or thought I learned) about sexuality was fiction.

As an experiment, last September, I quit porn and masturbation for about 2 months (I don't smoke, but I'd imagine quiting the fags would be similar. It was tough). After about six weeks, I was a completely new person. I remember watching the end of that TED talk (the part where he describes the guy who suddenly became da Vinci type, starting a business and learning loads of languages etc) with a lot of skepticism, but seriously that's what it felt like for me. I finally understood the phrase, 'lust for life' and it was the fist time I actually experienced true arousal and passion (in the broadest sense of the word- sexual, romantic, even for my job).

I doubt many people would really experience what I did as I was probably an extreme case. I was 'susceptible' to porn addiction (and alcohol) in a way that others probably aren't. I always thought it was normal because doesn't everyone else do it? No, not the way I did it.

TL;DR- yes, I think porn can be harmful even if you don't realise it and it can desensitise you to life in general. I think if you have a problem with porn, it's probably because you have problems in some other parts of your life as well. However, it may become too routine for some people that they may develop more minor problems with it. Just my two cents.

riveratom

dlofnep wrote: »

For me, it inspired me to get up off the couch - put more effort into myself and find a girlfriend. It was tough - but now I'm seeing a girl and so happy.

That's great, but what I mean is when you are pulling out all the stops and still -nada.

Pug160

I think it's potentially damaging if you're not experiencing regular sex or you're not getting any sex at all. But then again, constant masturbation on its own without porn can be just as damaging. Young men who have been continually masturbating and watching porn are running the risk of having ejaculation problems (among other things) when they do finally meet a girl.