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What's the most awkward position you've been in?

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2

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    #32
    HondaSami
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    seven_eleven wrote: »
    Had surgery on my groin area, after the surgery I fell asleep like a rock for a few hours until the doctor/surgeon made his rounds.

    Walks in while I was still awake, nurse wakes me up. He asks how everything is etc.
    Pulls back the sheets and says "lets have a look shall we", to see it was recovering and not bleeding everywhere after the surgery etc.
    Of course, me having just woke up had a bit of morning wood.

    It was unavoidable :o

    You had surgery and you were still thinking about sex, you are some man.


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    #33
    narwhalthe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 116 ✭✭narwhalthe


    Ihatecuddles wrote: »
    Walked into the sitting room to see my dad watching porn, told my mam the next day and she said sure its no big deal, he found your vibrator on your window ledge when he was opening your curtains last week!

    That is hilarious. I remember one of my friends was having a tommy tank and his mom walked in, just said 'I know what you're doing ya know' and then walked out. He said it was an awkward breakfast the next morning.


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    #34
    Ihatecuddles-old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,785 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles-old


    Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

    Ye're a very sexual family!:pac:

    My dad wasn't even doing anything, just watching porn. So it could have been worse!


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    #35
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    narwhalthe wrote: »
    As far as you can recall, what is the most awkward position you have ever been in?


    Edit: Not sexually, but in general :D

    Why don't you tell us yours.


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    #36
    ITS_A_BADGER
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭ITS_A_BADGER


    Was really unwell for a few days went to see the doctor 3 times in the same week, Sweating and fever and nausea, so naturally i had to take off some clothes to cool down, so i took off me jumper, t shirt and jocks and put my trousers back on and a light zip up hoodie, I was getting worse, so it was decided to take me to the hospital the following morning, So we went to the hospital and went into see the assessment nurse and she sent me into a room to be looked at again by another nurse, Then she left the room and came back with 5 more nurse and put me on a trolley bed, i was fcked and had no idea what was going on because i was delirious with fever, the nurses started to take off my clothes starting with the hoodie and the nurse at the bottom of the bed took off my shoes and quickly took off my trousers, i was naked :o the nurse said sternly to pull up my boxers, i had to wimper im not wearing any and they put one of those hospital gowns with no back on them. so i couldnt get out of the bed, Absolutley mortified! would have been worse if i wasnt so unwell at the time


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    #37
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    A girl I was going with sent a picture of herself pleasuring herself to her Dad instead of me by mistake with a message something along the lines

    'Isn't this how you like it Where To?'

    Her Dad was my boss at the time.


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    #38
    Rastadoyle
    Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭Rastadoyle


    The missionery and then the missus walks in!


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    #39
    JonathanAnon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,718 ✭✭✭✭JonathanAnon


    castletownman wrote: »
    Getting caught fapping to Babestation after coming home from the pub stocious one night. God damn piss horn!

    Jeez that is embarrassing. Did you not have a proper bit of porn to fap off to.


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    #40
    SimonLynch
    Registered Users Posts: 424 ✭✭SimonLynch


    In the FCA back in the 80s at Gormanston, two week camp, got paid on the final Friday and half a dozen of us were told to report to go to the canteen to clean the kitchen. We'd been paid already so decided to nip across the fields and hitch a lift instead of cleaning the kitchen and going on the trucks after.

    Going across the fields, came across a regular Army/Air Corps Sargeant having a hand shandy over a page 3 girl in his own crop circle. We said nothing, he said nothing, awkward as whatevever though :)


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    #41
    El Guapo!
    Registered Users Posts: 12,430 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    Where To wrote: »
    A girl I was going with sent a picture of herself pleasuring herself to her Dad instead of me by mistake with a message something along the lines

    'Isn't this how you like it Where To?'

    Her Dad was my boss at the time.

    It would've been more awkward if he replied "Yes".


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    #42
    Fox_In_Socks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,616 ✭✭✭Fox_In_Socks


    Where To wrote: »
    A girl I was going with sent a picture of herself pleasuring herself to her Dad instead of me by mistake with a message something along the lines

    'Isn't this how you like it Where To?'

    Her Dad was my boss at the time.

    Naaaaa, brah


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    #43
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Fox_In_Socks wrote: »
    Naaaaa, brah
    You're wrong, she still had her bra on if I remember right.


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    #44
    mccarthy37
    Registered Users Posts: 646 ✭✭✭mccarthy37


    Down in the Glen Eagle for a weekend a few years ago after a swim in the pool I went into the Sauna to lose some sweat. After about five minutes three stunners in Bikini's came in. Well you could beat an ass out the gate with the boner I got. I had to wait another ten minutes for the girls to leave before I could stand up jasus I lost some sweat .


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    #45
    Crooked Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 5,678 ✭✭✭Crooked Jack


    I was constantly getting myself in awkward situations with my ex's family. I was mad into her but no matter what I did i was always making a tool of myself in front of them. In particular I remember two situations.

    She sneaked me into the house one night and we banged on a couch in the spare room after a night out and went to sleep. Woke up a few hours later in the wee hours. room was pitch black but was on the same hall as the bathroom so i thought **** it, no one will be up and duked out for a piss in the buff. Sure enough as i was exiting the bathroom her da was stood in the hall. Also in the buff. The pair of us stood their holding our bratwursts and we had to sidle past each other as it was quite a narrow hall. Suffice to say I was out the door first thing that morning before anyone got up.

    On another occasion they were having a big family meeting and the ex asked me to go along so she'd have someone to talk to. The da wanted a big family photo and he asked would i take it. I said surely. He hands me a digital camera and say "do you know how to use it?" I reply, "no bother, sure I'm from crossmaglen, you just aim and shoot." Nobody cracked a smile and a few people seemed fairly offended. Her entire extended family just stood there, all grouped together for the photo, looking at me in stunned silence.

    I was head over heels for this girl but no matter what I did I always made a tit of myself in front of her family


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    #46
    herisson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    I was texting my friend a while back when i was out one night. He was out too so I text him to "Come find me and ill get you a drink". What send was "Come finger me and ill get you a drink". When i finally did meet up with him later, it was just awkward and we couldnt look at each other.


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    #47
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    Had to hide in a safe after being almost caught sniffing knickers.


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    #48
    GoldenLight
    Registered Users Posts: 248 ✭✭GoldenLight


    We have a problem (AH and everyone), every thread appears to be locked, not good)


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    #49
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    GoldenLight wrote: »
    We have a problem (AH and everyone), every thread appears to be locked, not good)

    You appear to be locked.


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    #50
    HondaSami
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    GoldenLight wrote: »
    We have a problem (AH and everyone), every thread appears to be locked, not good)

    This thread is not locked.


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    #51
    El Guapo!
    Registered Users Posts: 12,430 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    GoldenLight wrote: »
    We have a problem (AH and everyone), every thread appears to be locked, not good)
    Get over it!


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    #52
    ITS_A_BADGER
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭ITS_A_BADGER


    ray2012 wrote: »
    The most awkward situations have to be when sex scenes come on tv when watching with family (especially parents).
    Just as the sex scene is about to come on is my calling to leave the room to avoid the awkwardness. :P

    LOL remember the show called Tarrant on Tv that used to be on a sunday night on UTV, it showed various tv shows and ad from around the world, the show also showed some sex the odd time and used it used to be awkward as feck when watching this and the dad would be in the room


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    #53
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »
    Yeah it's not too bad if it was a "love scene"...but when yer one is getting absolutely dogged out of it, thats a bit worse.

    Especially when you've been watching the movie by yourself and they come into the room just on the sex scenes and ask if you're watching porn
    JUST when those scenes start :mad::pac:


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    #54
    nbar12
    Registered Users Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭nbar12


    Ihatecuddles wrote: »
    The time of the heavy snow last year, my mam and brother were driving to the shop. It would take at least an hour.
    I got the vibrator out and put some porn on. Was at it for about a half hour, nice and loud seeing as I was home alone.
    Looked out the window, car was in the driveway. They never left.
    Went to bed at about 4pm. Came down the next day and had the most awkward dinner ever.

    I have a few more like that :/

    Walked into the sitting room to see my dad watching porn, told my mam the next day and she said sure its no big deal, he found your vibrator on your window ledge when he was opening your curtains last week!

    hahaha I knew it! Women do masterbate the lying bítches!

    Anyway, my mate is studying over in Edinburgh and got himself this kinky Scottish girlfriend, he was in the library on Friday, took a picture of himself eating a banana and sent it along with "study break?" to his dad who didn't reply. As far as I know he hasn't replied back to any of his other texts or taken his calls up until today...

    Also, Love/Hate had some long and unnecessary sex scenes, jaysus the awkwardness between myself and the folks was sometimes unbearable


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    #55
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Especially when you've been watching the movie by yourself and they come into the room just on the sex scenes and ask if you're watching porn
    JUST when those scenes start :mad::pac:

    Ha yeah. Then they don't believe you because they caught you fumbling yourself watching The Golden Girls before :o


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    #56
    unknowngirl!!
    Registered Users Posts: 389 ✭✭unknowngirl!!


    I went to a wedding in Cork with a boyfriend a few years ago and it was my first time to spend a prolonged period with his parents. I knew his brother well though and the three of us travelled down together.

    As it happened my boyfriend had to leave the wedding around 3am as he was getting a flight from Cork to Dublin to go to London the next day. He had tickets for a match that was organised before we accepted the wedding invite.

    After he left I went to bed. Around 4 there was banging on my door. Got up and it was his brother, absolutely polluted drunk. He said he lost his room key, came in, stripped completely naked and passed out on the outside of the bed. I had no other option but to stay in the room as I knew no one else. Made a bed on the floor with a sheet and pillow.

    Next morning around 7 I woke to hear more banging on the door. Went to the door in my underwear an wrapped in the sheet and it was the mother looking for the brother as he got 'very drunk and just disappeared and they were worried.' I panicked, said I hadn't seen him as I wasn't going to explain what had happened.

    She said that was grand and I thought it was going to be ok until she said she needed to use the toilet, walked straight in an saw the brother naked on my bed. Without a doubt the most awkward position I had ever been in :o


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    #57
    herisson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    I remember two that were a little awkward..

    I had Rude Tube on in the background one day. My Dad comes in to say something to me but gets awkward and leaves. Didnt realise why he was so awkward until i looked up and it was showing a video of naked men doing aerobics, willies flying everywhere :pac:

    One sentence that i never wanted to hear from my dad: "Did you hear this buzzing sound last night, it went on for a while?"

    "Um no, eh i was fast asleep, you sure you werent hearing things? >.> " :pac::o


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    #58
    Jazzmaster
    Registered Users Posts: 97 ✭✭Jazzmaster


    I was on a date with a girl I met on plenty of fish a few years ago. We were getting on well and chatting about this and that. One story I was telling involved a picture on my phone so I took it out to show her. Unfortunately the first picture that appeared when I opened the gallery was one of my erect penis. I'd been trading rude pictures with an ex girlfriend a few days before.

    That was really awkward.......


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    #59
    narwhalthe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 116 ✭✭narwhalthe


    Pixie-Fairy wrote: »
    One sentence that i never wanted to hear from my dad: "Did you hear this buzzing sound last night, it went on for a while?"

    "Um no, eh i was fast asleep, you sure you werent hearing things? >.> " :pac::o

    Haha they should really get silencers on vibrators!


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    #60
    Mr Keek
    Registered Users Posts: 497 ✭✭Mr Keek


    Years back when I was living at home, I had an Porn DVD, put it on in my bedroom when I got home from a few pints......I fell asleep and left the telly on....My Mam seen the flicker of the telly and came into me. I woke up, realised I was collared, and I blamed TV3 for showing that smut at that time of night....Don't think she bought it, but she was cool about it. One of those moments that was never spoken about!

    Another time, I was working in 2 pubs, one at wkends, another midweek, one of my regulars from the midweek pub came into the weekend pub that I worked at, and I had to (unfairly) refuse him. Felt awful. I had to follow him out, and tell him it was just a managment call. When he came back into midweek pub, I bought him a pint.

    ...and probally my worst moment was the time I got home from the pub after an unusually heavy night of drinking, I was warped. For some reason, I woke up, opened the bottom drawer of my bedside locker, and pissed in it....try explaning that to your girlfriend as she rolled over wondering what was going on! I think it was a sleepwalking moment, I have absolutley no memory of it.


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    #61
    herisson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    narwhalthe wrote: »
    Haha they should really get silencers on vibrators!

    They make quiet ones....i used the normal one thinking no one would hear me :o


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