What's the most awkward position you've been in?

narwhalthe

As far as you can recall, what is the most awkward position you have ever been in?


Edit: Not sexually, but in general

jimmy180sx

Reverse cowgirl..i got a cramp in my thigh

HondaSami

Do you mean while having sex?

Axe Rake

Helicopter

mfceiling

Anal.....receiving

m r c

Missionary I'm a fat bastard :-)

narwhalthe

Hahaha! Nah just in general. I suppose I better edit the question.

hawkelady

In before "yor ma" comments.

CollardGreens

:rolleyes: I knew this one was going to be good, lol. Come on OP, you set them up!



:pac:

The Road Runner

Used to always find myself on the floor upside down behind either the driver or passenger seat in our car when i was a child. it really used to freak me out and i don't remember how it always happened.

Talk To Frank

Left wing, hate having to cut in..

Bipolar Joe

I really wish people would think harder about whether or not their post was funny before they submit it.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Iv been in a few over the years.

The worst was when I was 11 and a sex scene came on tv while myself and the parents were watching it. That was awkward. I think my dad was writing down some tips.

ray2012

The most awkward situations have to be when sex scenes come on tv when watching with family (especially parents).
Just as the sex scene is about to come on is my calling to leave the room to avoid the awkwardness. :P

monkeysnapper

I once for a laugh put a lamp shade on my head and pretended I was a Chinese person, little did i know but there was a Chinese person looking through the window. And now everybody thinks I'm a Chinese person and keeps trying to sell me horses

The Road Runner

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I once for a laugh put a lamp shade on my head and pretended I was a Chinese person, little did i know but there was a Chinese person looking through the window. And now everybody thinks I'm a Chinese person

I heard you're a racist now monkeysnapper

Praetorian Saighdiuir

ray2012 wrote: »

The most awkward situations have to be when sex scenes come on tv when watching with family (especially parents).
Just as the sex scene is about to come on is my calling to leave the room to avoid the awkwardness. :P

Yeah it's not too bad if it was a "love scene"...but when yer one is getting absolutely dogged out of it, thats a bit worse.

Rayne Wooney

A friend of mine found himself between his boss and her husband in bed after a drunken night out.

Fox_In_Socks

Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »

Iv been in a few over the years.

The worst was when I was 11 and a sex scene came on tv while myself and the parents were watching it. That was awkward. I think my dad was writing down some tips.

Oh, I've been in that situation. You silently think "Should I change the channel and thus signify how uncomfortable I am, or maintain my Bond-like neutrality in that face of someone writhing on screen" and soldier on, hoping for an ad break, for someone to tell me to make a cup of tea...for Judgement Day.:)

Over time, I have become quite a master at predicting when there is going to be a sex scene and then preempting it by changing the channel. I can suss out a potential sex scene from something as innocuous as a couple's first date, even. I can tell you that fifteen minutes later, when they are now as established couple in the film, that they shall be making the beast with two backs.

Recently, the most awkward position I have been in, is while watching Take Me Out Ireland. I sometimes have to leave the room for a breather...the cringe factor becomes unbearable.

demixed

What... like the back of a Volkswagen?

Gummy Panda

mfceiling wrote: »

Anal.....receiving

Sounds like a pain in the ass

castletownman

Getting caught fapping to Babestation after coming home from the pub stocious one night. God damn piss horn!

HondaSami

castletownman wrote: »

Getting caught fapping to Babestation after coming home from the pub stocious one night. God damn piss horn!

You have to tell us who caught you.

mirekb

Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »

Iv been in a few over the years.

The worst was when I was 11 and a sex scene came on tv while myself and the parents were watching it. That was awkward. I think my dad was writing down some tips.

ray2012 wrote: »

The most awkward situations have to be when sex scenes come on tv when watching with family (especially parents).
Just as the sex scene is about to come on is my calling to leave the room to avoid the awkwardness. :P

Watching a sex scene with your parents is as of nothing when compared to watching a sex scene with your children :P

Fox_In_Socks

mirekb wrote: »

Watching a sex scene with your parents is as of nothing when compared to watching a sex scene with your children :P

Yeah, but in that situation, you can be the embarrasser, rather than embarrassee.

"Yeah, your Mother and I did that one. And that one. Oh, Fachtna, that's how you were concieved!"

seven_eleven

Had surgery on my groin area, after the surgery I fell asleep like a rock for a few hours until the doctor/surgeon made his rounds.

Walks in while I was still asleep, nurse wakes me up. He asks how everything is etc.
Pulls back the sheets and says "lets have a look shall we", to see if it was recovering and not bleeding everywhere after the surgery etc.
Of course, me having just woke up had a bit of morning wood.


It was unavoidable

castletownman

HondaSami wrote: »

You have to tell us who caught you.

My father. Awkwardness was palpable for a week!

Ihatecuddles-old

The time of the heavy snow last year, my mam and brother were driving to the shop. It would take at least an hour.
I got the vibrator out and put some porn on. Was at it for about a half hour, nice and loud seeing as I was home alone.
Looked out the window, car was in the driveway. They never left.
Went to bed at about 4pm. Came down the next day and had the most awkward dinner ever.

I have a few more like that

Walked into the sitting room to see my dad watching porn, told my mam the next day and she said sure its no big deal, he found your vibrator on your window ledge when he was opening your curtains last week!

Fox_In_Socks

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

The time of the heavy snow last year, my mam and brother were driving to the shop. It would take at least an hour.
I got the vibrator out and put some porn on. Was at it for about a half hour, nice and loud seeing as I was home alone.
Looked out the window, car was in the driveway. They never left.
Went to bed at about 4pm. Came down the next day and had the most awkward dinner ever.

I have a few more like that

Walked into the sitting room to see my dad watching porn, told my mam the next day and she said sure its no big deal, he found your vibrator on your window ledge when he was opening your curtains last week!

Ye're a very sexual family!:pac:

Gummy Panda

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

The time of the heavy snow last year, my mam and brother were driving to the shop. It would take at least an hour.
I got the vibrator out and put some porn on. Was at it for about a half hour, nice and loud seeing as I was home alone.
Looked out the window, car was in the driveway. They never left.
Went to bed at about 4pm. Came down the next day and had the most awkward dinner ever.

I have a few more like that

Walked into the sitting room to see my dad watching porn, told my mam the next day and she said sure its no big deal, he found your vibrator on your window ledge when he was opening your curtains last week!

Half an hour?

Women are so greedy

ahnowbrowncow

I was in tesco buying some cheap shorts when I saw this young girl jumping up and down trying to get a dress down from a clothes rail.

So without thinking and trying to be helpful I asked something along these lines "do you need help getting that dress down". My friends started laughing and I then realised she was wearing a dress and what I said sounded bad, I saw her mother approaching so I got out of there quickly, I felt too awkward to stick about and explain what happened.

Damn paedophiles, making me feel awkward when children are around

HondaSami

seven_eleven wrote: »

Had surgery on my groin area, after the surgery I fell asleep like a rock for a few hours until the doctor/surgeon made his rounds.

Walks in while I was still awake, nurse wakes me up. He asks how everything is etc.
Pulls back the sheets and says "lets have a look shall we", to see it was recovering and not bleeding everywhere after the surgery etc.
Of course, me having just woke up had a bit of morning wood.

It was unavoidable

You had surgery and you were still thinking about sex, you are some man.

narwhalthe

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Walked into the sitting room to see my dad watching porn, told my mam the next day and she said sure its no big deal, he found your vibrator on your window ledge when he was opening your curtains last week!

That is hilarious. I remember one of my friends was having a tommy tank and his mom walked in, just said 'I know what you're doing ya know' and then walked out. He said it was an awkward breakfast the next morning.

Ihatecuddles-old

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

Ye're a very sexual family!:pac:

My dad wasn't even doing anything, just watching porn. So it could have been worse!

Super-Rush

narwhalthe wrote: »

As far as you can recall, what is the most awkward position you have ever been in?


Edit: Not sexually, but in general

Why don't you tell us yours.

ITS_A_BADGER

Was really unwell for a few days went to see the doctor 3 times in the same week, Sweating and fever and nausea, so naturally i had to take off some clothes to cool down, so i took off me jumper, t shirt and jocks and put my trousers back on and a light zip up hoodie, I was getting worse, so it was decided to take me to the hospital the following morning, So we went to the hospital and went into see the assessment nurse and she sent me into a room to be looked at again by another nurse, Then she left the room and came back with 5 more nurse and put me on a trolley bed, i was fcked and had no idea what was going on because i was delirious with fever, the nurses started to take off my clothes starting with the hoodie and the nurse at the bottom of the bed took off my shoes and quickly took off my trousers, i was naked the nurse said sternly to pull up my boxers, i had to wimper im not wearing any and they put one of those hospital gowns with no back on them. so i couldnt get out of the bed, Absolutley mortified! would have been worse if i wasnt so unwell at the time

Where To

A girl I was going with sent a picture of herself pleasuring herself to her Dad instead of me by mistake with a message something along the lines

'Isn't this how you like it Where To?'

Her Dad was my boss at the time.

Rastadoyle

The missionery and then the missus walks in!

JonathanAnon

castletownman wrote: »

Getting caught fapping to Babestation after coming home from the pub stocious one night. God damn piss horn!

Jeez that is embarrassing. Did you not have a proper bit of porn to fap off to.

SimonLynch

In the FCA back in the 80s at Gormanston, two week camp, got paid on the final Friday and half a dozen of us were told to report to go to the canteen to clean the kitchen. We'd been paid already so decided to nip across the fields and hitch a lift instead of cleaning the kitchen and going on the trucks after.

Going across the fields, came across a regular Army/Air Corps Sargeant having a hand shandy over a page 3 girl in his own crop circle. We said nothing, he said nothing, awkward as whatevever though

El Guapo!

Where To wrote: »

A girl I was going with sent a picture of herself pleasuring herself to her Dad instead of me by mistake with a message something along the lines

'Isn't this how you like it Where To?'

Her Dad was my boss at the time.

It would've been more awkward if he replied "Yes".

Fox_In_Socks

Where To wrote: »

A girl I was going with sent a picture of herself pleasuring herself to her Dad instead of me by mistake with a message something along the lines

'Isn't this how you like it Where To?'

Her Dad was my boss at the time.

Naaaaa, brah

Where To

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

Naaaaa, brah

You're wrong, she still had her bra on if I remember right.

mccarthy37

Down in the Glen Eagle for a weekend a few years ago after a swim in the pool I went into the Sauna to lose some sweat. After about five minutes three stunners in Bikini's came in. Well you could beat an ass out the gate with the boner I got. I had to wait another ten minutes for the girls to leave before I could stand up jasus I lost some sweat .

Crooked Jack

I was constantly getting myself in awkward situations with my ex's family. I was mad into her but no matter what I did i was always making a tool of myself in front of them. In particular I remember two situations.

She sneaked me into the house one night and we banged on a couch in the spare room after a night out and went to sleep. Woke up a few hours later in the wee hours. room was pitch black but was on the same hall as the bathroom so i thought **** it, no one will be up and duked out for a piss in the buff. Sure enough as i was exiting the bathroom her da was stood in the hall. Also in the buff. The pair of us stood their holding our bratwursts and we had to sidle past each other as it was quite a narrow hall. Suffice to say I was out the door first thing that morning before anyone got up.

On another occasion they were having a big family meeting and the ex asked me to go along so she'd have someone to talk to. The da wanted a big family photo and he asked would i take it. I said surely. He hands me a digital camera and say "do you know how to use it?" I reply, "no bother, sure I'm from crossmaglen, you just aim and shoot." Nobody cracked a smile and a few people seemed fairly offended. Her entire extended family just stood there, all grouped together for the photo, looking at me in stunned silence.

I was head over heels for this girl but no matter what I did I always made a tit of myself in front of her family

herisson

I was texting my friend a while back when i was out one night. He was out too so I text him to "Come find me and ill get you a drink". What send was "Come finger me and ill get you a drink". When i finally did meet up with him later, it was just awkward and we couldnt look at each other.

Mr.Crinklewood

Had to hide in a safe after being almost caught sniffing knickers.

GoldenLight

We have a problem (AH and everyone), every thread appears to be locked, not good)

Praetorian Saighdiuir

GoldenLight wrote: »

We have a problem (AH and everyone), every thread appears to be locked, not good)

You appear to be locked.

HondaSami

GoldenLight wrote: »

We have a problem (AH and everyone), every thread appears to be locked, not good)

This thread is not locked.

El Guapo!

GoldenLight wrote: »

We have a problem (AH and everyone), every thread appears to be locked, not good)

Get over it!