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Need to stop - Lent a good starting point.

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    #32
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Anyone recommend a good meditation CD?


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    #33
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Try YouTube under Mindfulness Meditation.


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    #34
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    For some reason this evening, felt really sorry for myself and was extremely tempted to go out to the Pub.
    Had to work hard to talk myself round. Telling myself that this feeling would pass and would be nothing compared to how bad I would feel if I went out got p**sed and did what I normally do when out drinking. I will be so glad in the morning.

    As things stand I don't think I can win this battle with myself every Saturday night. I need to be able to get out and socialise and not feel isolated/excluded.


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    #35
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    KeefF wrote: »
    For some reason this evening, felt really sorry for myself and was extremely tempted to go out to the Pub.
    Had to work hard to talk myself round. Telling myself that this feeling would pass and would be nothing compared to how bad I would feel if I went out got p**sed and did what I normally do when out drinking. I will be so glad in the morning.

    As things stand I don't think I can win this battle with myself every Saturday night. I need to be able to get out and socialise and not feel isolated/excluded.

    You have the get out and socialise but you don't have to make it in the pubs,check out what's going on in your area on Saturdays,get involved in what's going on,sitting at home feeling sorry for oneself will not work, And IMO you also Need to remember why you are not drinking,why you stopped in the first place,I know only to well how hard it is but failing to plan for these witching hours/nights is planning to fail.


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    #36
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    realies wrote: »
    You have the get out and socialise but you don't have to make it in the pubs,check out what's going on in your area on Saturdays,get involved in what's going on,sitting at home feeling sorry for oneself will not work, And IMO you also Need to remember why you are not drinking,why you stopped in the first place,I know only to well how hard it is but failing to plan for these witching hours/nights is planning to fail.

    Thanks for the feedback. Need to get myself to an AA meeting or something similar on Sat evenings.


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    #37
    beeroclock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 237 ✭✭beeroclock


    Hi KeefF how have things being going? reading this thread with a lot of interest


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    #38
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    Likewise, hope you are doing okay, do let us know how things are keeping!


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    #39
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    I'm convinced a stint in treatment is only way to give myself a chance to beat this.
    Will have to ask work to allow me take 5 weeks leave - am sh*tting myself as I worrk in a big firm.


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    #40
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Was just reading over your posts KeefF and it brought me back to times in the not too distant past when I felt like you, when staying in was almost unbearable.

    For me it was that I was so embedded in a the pub culture and a particular group of heavy drinkers that it was torture to stay away, even for one evening. I would picture them all arriving in to the pub, sitting on their regular stools, imagine the banter (imagination is always far better than the real thing) and totally feel like I was seriously missing out. It was an awful feeling like ants running over my skin, something I could barely stand and was going insane trying to resist. I would be pacing, and clock watching and half heartedly trying to distract myself and if I did manage to suceed it would just mean I would go in the following evening as a 'reward' and drink myself sick.

    So what I did was to gradually (and somewhat sadly) come to the realisation that I had to extracate myself from the situation. So I did that, very, very slowly, going to the pub less and less, losing contact gradually with those 'friends' who were only drinking friends really, we never actually did anything together outside the pubs 4 walls.

    So eventually, when it came time to quit, it didn't feel so bad or lonely. I had already built up a few alternative activities which I enjoyed and could imagine a path forwards without the pub as a crutch.

    Anyway, I'm rabitting on. I just thought I'd share that as your post struck a chord with me.

    Best wishes on your journey.


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    #41
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    hubba wrote: »
    Was just reading over your posts KeefF and it brought me back to times in the not too distant past when I felt like you, when staying in was almost unbearable.

    For me it was that I was so embedded in a the pub culture and a particular group of heavy drinkers that it was torture to stay away, even for one evening. I would picture them all arriving in to the pub, sitting on their regular stools, imagine the banter (imagination is always far better than the real thing) and totally feel like I was seriously missing out. It was an awful feeling like ants running over my skin, something I could barely stand and was going insane trying to resist. I would be pacing, and clock watching and half heartedly trying to distract myself and if I did manage to suceed it would just mean I would go in the following evening as a 'reward' and drink myself sick.

    So what I did was to gradually (and somewhat sadly) come to the realisation that I had to extracate myself from the situation. So I did that, very, very slowly, going to the pub less and less, losing contact gradually with those 'friends' who were only drinking friends really, we never actually did anything together outside the pubs 4 walls.

    So eventually, when it came time to quit, it didn't feel so bad or lonely. I had already built up a few alternative activities which I enjoyed and could imagine a path forwards without the pub as a crutch.

    Anyway, I'm rabitting on. I just thought I'd share that as your post struck a chord with me.

    Best wishes on your journey.

    Thanks very inspiring post. Definitely the people I spend most my time drinking with are people I would not otherwise ever be around - I have just gotten so used and dependent on them at the weekends. I have been really thinking over the last few days that while I have been intermittently attending AA over recent months I have never really gave it a go i.e. adopt the principles and change my own lifestyle and attitudes - not simply sit in a room for an hour. Also when opportunities/compulsion to go out and drink have popped up I have not really worked hard to distract or extrtact myselfand think through the reasons why I need to stop drinking. Its very clear if I keep meeeting the same people and going to the same places - I will do the same things. I need to step back all together and avoid pub situations and people altogether. Over time hopefully I will unerstand who and what is important to me. Also I need to plan out my weekends better and get to AA also. Thanks


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    #42
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Feel good tonight.
    Managed to get 3 AA meetings this week & spoke really for the first time at one tonight.
    Also I have followed advice and set out a daily plan for myself including ensuring I have a meeting to go to on a Sat eve.


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    #43
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Hi,
    Have managed to get 4/5 AA meetings in the last couple of weeks plus 2 one to one counselling sessions. Also some praying in the morning and night. Also daily re-afirmation of my commitment to stay sober.

    Last night, I was in the pub with two lifetime friends for 3-4 hours - me not drinking. And it was not even an issue - it was not mentioned and I did not feel uncomfortable at all.
    However later I met up with some of my "drinking buddies" who were going to a niteclub and I went with them. It was horrible. Two revelations:
    (1) I am in no way ready for loud busy places full of people who are drunk; and
    (2) Those people are not my real friends and the only connection I have had with them was drink. I could not believe how uncomfortable I felt around them N/A.

    Anyway I lasted about 10 mins in that place, got out, got in my car and got myself a nice Mickey D's.

    Delighted I did - nice and fresh this morning and good gym session.

    A high level of diligence is required for myself:
    Daily Plan - Acceptance, Seek Guidance, Give Thanks, Daily Commitment to staying sober, honesty with myself, work hard & train hard in the gym & running and get to regular AA meetings.
    Eventually I hope to get busy living too.

    Life is so much better sober.

    Thanks


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    #44
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    Hi,
    Have managed to get 4/5 AA meetings in the last couple of weeks plus 2 one to one counselling sessions. Also some praying in the morning and night. Also daily re-afirmation of my commitment to stay sober.

    Last night, I was in the pub with two lifetime friends for 3-4 hours - me not drinking. And it was not even an issue - it was not mentioned and I did not feel uncomfortable at all.
    However later I met up with some of my "drinking buddies" who were going to a niteclub and I went with them. It was horrible. Two revelations:
    (1) I am in no way ready for loud busy places full of people who are drunk; and
    (2) Those people are not my real friends and the only connection I have had with them was drink. I could not believe how uncomfortable I felt around them N/A.

    Anyway I lasted about 10 mins in that place, got out, got in my car and got myself a nice Mickey D's.

    Delighted I did - nice and fresh this morning and good gym session.

    A high level of diligence is required for myself:
    Daily Plan - Acceptance, Seek Guidance, Give Thanks, Daily Commitment to staying sober, honesty with myself, work hard & train hard in the gym & running and get to regular AA meetings.
    Eventually I hope to get busy living too.

    Life is so much better sober.

    Thanks


    Well done keef. Great to hear.


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    #45
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    KeefF wrote: »
    Hi,
    Have managed to get 4/5 AA meetings in the last couple of weeks plus 2 one to one counselling sessions. Also some praying in the morning and night. Also daily re-afirmation of my commitment to stay sober.

    Last night, I was in the pub with two lifetime friends for 3-4 hours - me not drinking. And it was not even an issue - it was not mentioned and I did not feel uncomfortable at all.
    However later I met up with some of my "drinking buddies" who were going to a niteclub and I went with them. It was horrible. Two revelations:
    (1) I am in no way ready for loud busy places full of people who are drunk; and
    (2) Those people are not my real friends and the only connection I have had with them was drink. I could not believe how uncomfortable I felt around them N/A.

    Anyway I lasted about 10 mins in that place, got out, got in my car and got myself a nice Mickey D's.

    Delighted I did - nice and fresh this morning and good gym session.

    A high level of diligence is required for myself:
    Daily Plan - Acceptance, Seek Guidance, Give Thanks, Daily Commitment to staying sober, honesty with myself, work hard & train hard in the gym & running and get to regular AA meetings.
    Eventually I hope to get busy living too.

    Life is so much better sober.

    Thanks

    Great update, thanks KeefF. You are doing really well.


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    #46
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    KeefF wrote: »
    Hi,
    Have managed to get 4/5 AA meetings in the last couple of weeks plus 2 one to one counselling sessions. Also some praying in the morning and night. Also daily re-afirmation of my commitment to stay sober.

    Last night, I was in the pub with two lifetime friends for 3-4 hours - me not drinking. And it was not even an issue - it was not mentioned and I did not feel uncomfortable at all.
    However later I met up with some of my "drinking buddies" who were going to a niteclub and I went with them. It was horrible. Two revelations:
    (1) I am in no way ready for loud busy places full of people who are drunk; and
    (2) Those people are not my real friends and the only connection I have had with them was drink. I could not believe how uncomfortable I felt around them N/A.

    Anyway I lasted about 10 mins in that place, got out, got in my car and got myself a nice Mickey D's.

    Delighted I did - nice and fresh this morning and good gym session.

    A high level of diligence is required for myself:
    Daily Plan - Acceptance, Seek Guidance, Give Thanks, Daily Commitment to staying sober, honesty with myself, work hard & train hard in the gym & running and get to regular AA meetings.
    Eventually I hope to get busy living too.

    Life is so much better sober.

    Thanks

    Well done, something similar happened to me when I was only 6 months off it. Went away for a weekend I shouldn't have. Wasn't ready for it at all. THat will stand to you that you got through that


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    #47
    tunguska
    Registered Users Posts: 3,545 ✭✭✭tunguska


    KeefF wrote: »
    (2) Those people are not my real friends and the only connection I have had with them was drink. I could not believe how uncomfortable I felt around them N/A.

    I think this is one of the big revelations people have when they give up the booze. You get to find out who your real friends are and a lot of the time you find that you dont have any real friends just drinking buddies who will only want your company so long as you're drinking. I see a lot of relationships that are dependent upon alcohol and its pathetic really. A friend of mine is a decent runner but he would be so much better if he didn't drink. I mentioned giving up the booze to him but his response was pretty sad, he said that if he gave up alcohol he'd have no friends or social life. Which was probably true but sad none the less, that a lot of people in this country are in this position, if they didnt drink their social lives would come to an abrupt end. And its at this point that you literally have to reinvent yourself, which is a good thing but not easy to do in a land where most social activities revolve around a substance.


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    #48
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    tunguska wrote: »
    I think this is one of the big revelations people have when they give up the booze. You get to find out who your real friends are and a lot of the time you find that you dont have any real friends just drinking buddies who will only want your company so long as you're drinking. I see a lot of relationships that are dependent upon alcohol and its pathetic really. A friend of mine is a decent runner but he would be so much better if he didn't drink. I mentioned giving up the booze to him but his response was pretty sad, he said that if he gave up alcohol he'd have no friends or social life. Which was probably true but sad none the less, that a lot of people in this country are in this position, if they didnt drink their social lives would come to an abrupt end. And its at this point that you literally have to reinvent yourself, which is a good thing but not easy to do in a land where most social activities revolve around a substance.

    I agree with all the above.

    Plenty stuff going on in the Olympia/Gaiety/Grand Canal. Beginning to love the place.

    Sure if you go out with work - only thing in common is drink 95% of the time. Move to another company will verify this. Sad reality.


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    #49
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Good day today.Zero temptation.


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    #50
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Hi,
    Went to my Chrimbo party last night. Stuck to the N/A and was fine and was involved with craic and chat etc. Though about 12 am was starting to get that hollow feeling with a bit of self-pity and loneliness etc. Thankfully, I was able to call on some of the things I've picked up on over the last 2 months of sobriety and went home. Needless to say very glad today that I did.
    Longer term really wondering what will become of me relationship wise etc. For today - happy to be sober.


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    #51
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    Hi,
    Went to my Chrimbo party last night. Stuck to the N/A and was fine and was involved with craic and chat etc. Though about 12 am was starting to get that hollow feeling with a bit of self-pity and loneliness etc. Thankfully, I was able to call on some of the things I've picked up on over the last 2 months of sobriety and went home. Needless to say very glad today that I did.
    Longer term really wondering what will become of me relationship wise etc. For today - happy to be sober.

    Fair play KeefF. Very well done. More to life than drink.

    Had party myself too and went well. Were people asking why you weren't drinking ?


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    #52
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Carpet diem wrote: »
    Fair play KeefF. Very well done. More to life than drink.

    Had party myself too and went well. Were people asking why you weren't drinking ?

    No one really commented - just noted and were surprised that I wasn't doing shots with them at the bar.


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    #53
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    I have company one this week so will go and drink few n/a. I'll get them in a different bar so no notice taken. Will head home early as well.

    I've learned for me anyways that the hassle of saying your not going is not worth it. People wondering why you are not going all fecking week would drive you to drink! Sometimes better of go with the flow and slip of quietly.


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    #54
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    9 weeks off the soup - longest I've ever got.
    I've just sat down with a mug of green tea watching the football in the nice clean comfortable surroundings of my home. I feel pretty content and safe. I am really seeing the real and much better me + others are seeing this too. But I know there are many reasons and things i've been doing that have got me here. I have to avoid complacency and keep working hard at these things.
    This is what I want. I accept that if I drink I won't have this feeling and will end up in a bad place physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. I am allergic to booze - if I drink bad, crazy and dangerous things happen to me. I'd be crazy to risk that again.
    However I am optimistic and looking forward to Christmas but need to remain vigilant and connected.
    Thanks to everyone for your support to date. I wish you all well. :-)


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    #55
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    9 weeks off the soup - longest I've ever got.
    I've just sat down with a mug of green tea watching the football in the nice clean comfortable surroundings of my home. I feel pretty content and safe. I am really seeing the real and much better me + others are seeing this too. But I know there are many reasons and things i've been doing that have got me here. I have to avoid complacency and keep working hard at these things.
    This is what I want. I accept that if I drink I won't have this feeling and will end up in a bad place physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. I am allergic to booze - if I drink bad, crazy and dangerous things happen to me. I'd be crazy to risk that again.
    However I am optimistic and looking forward to Christmas but need to remain vigilant and connected.
    Thanks to everyone for your support to date. I wish you all well. :-)

    Well done KeefF. Your doing brilliant and are example for all of us starting out.


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    #56
    _lietome_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭_lietome_


    This post has been deleted.


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    #57
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Tough enough day today. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and a bit lonely. Had thoughts of doing what I have always done in the past to address it - head to the pub, get pi**ed, go to a niteclub and stay up all night doing all sorts. Consequently I would end up feeling worse than before the decision to drink.
    Anyway as usual with these feelings of self-pity they have passed and I didn't need to go out - thank god -as they have taught me in AA.
    Generally I feel really good physically and emotionally. But I do need to find some outlet for these good feelings. Sitting in on my own on a Saturday night although fine for the moment will not be a sustainable long term approach.

    Happy To Be Sober!!!!!!!


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    #58
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    Tough enough day today. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and a bit lonely. Had thoughts of doing what I have always done in the past to address it - head to the pub, get pi**ed, go to a niteclub and stay up all night doing all sorts. Consequently I would end up feeling worse than before the decision to drink.
    Anyway as usual with these feelings of self-pity they have passed and I didn't need to go out - thank god -as they have taught me in AA.
    Generally I feel really good physically and emotionally. But I do need to find some outlet for these good feelings. Sitting in on my own on a Saturday night although fine for the moment will not be a sustainable long term approach.

    Happy To Be Sober!!!!!!!

    How you feeling today KeefF?


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    #59
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Carpet diem wrote: »
    How you feeling today KeefF?

    Not a bother?You?
    Not really looking forward to NYE but I'll be fine.


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    #60
    Banneret
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 132 ✭✭Banneret


    Hi,

    I wish you all the best and "realies" post was beyond excellent, perfect to help get off the drink,

    If you or anyone else is interested in addiction check out the video below:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hz6-2NwRzE

    Notes:
    - You may want to some skip of it, it is up to you.
    - There's extremely good tips in their and will make a positive impact on you.

    Dr.Kevin has helped many from addiction or even just getting of Alcohol and Drugs, as you can also see in the comments even learning about it can be a big help, I strongly suggest that anyone that drinks or use drugs should at least watch it.
    Its not your normal addiction presentation, this guy is amazing, watch it and learn.

    I wish you all the best.


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    #61
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    It was 3 months ago this weekend I decided to really give the sobriety thing a shot.
    There was something building in me all day today that drove me to want to go out socialising. I went down the local for a few hours and the old mind started to play tricks on me, like have one just to relax yourself etc etc. However I didn't, and I am so glad I didn't. But it is clearly very risky for me at this stage to be going to a pub in particular circumstances especially in an environment I used to drink in.

    But the main thing is, I didn't drink. The relief when I closed the door behind me when I came home was unreal. I am so grateful to whatever it is that kept me from taking that first drink.
    Learning lessons everyday on this journey.


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