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Need to stop - Lent a good starting point.
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09-02-2013 12:30am#1
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Have been here before.
Late 30's and still partying (& all that goes with it) like a 21 year old.
Have a great career - if they knew what I got up to at weekends - not worth thinking about.
Would love to give it up full stop. Would love to be a non-drinker. Love it when I go for weeks without it but always go back.
Money, fitness,well being, slf-confidence, self-respect, work & family - all the things I value get impacted most.
i am single which makes it hard to sit in at w/ends.
going to try stop with lent as my starting point and social exscuse.
Wish me luck please.
Good luck man. Totally do-able
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Hi KeefF and everyone
I have posted this a few times here so i hope you dont mind me repeating it
I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse or that you just want to stop drinking.
SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?- Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful),
- Hypnotherapy,
- Meditation,
- Dietary supplements,
- A healthy diet, and regular meals
- Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
- Spending a significant amount of time here or other non drinking sites, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
- Going to AA meetings
- Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.
Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.
Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.
So good luck and rememebr it can be done.0 -
Hi KeefF and everyone I have posted this a few times here so i hope you dont mind me repeating it
I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse or that you just want to stop drinking.
SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?- Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful),
- Hypnotherapy,
- Meditation,
- Dietary supplements,
- A healthy diet, and regular meals
- Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
- Spending a significant amount of time here or other non drinking sites, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
- Going to AA meetings
- Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.
Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.
Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.
So good luck and rememebr it can be done.
Great advice, I use 7 of the things you suggested on a regular basis and it's seen me 17 months off the drink. For me regular exercise and a routine have been key along with a much better diet. The key issue that people need to understand if they've really surrendered and they've accepted that they cannot control alcohol( and that it actually controls them) is that they need to change. Change is key or you will be on a bar stole again in no time. That is one thing I guarantee. You need to change the person you are because the person you were needed alcohol.
The person you were will drink again. The person you were will have to drink again.0 -
Hi KeefF and everyone I have posted this a few times here so i hope you dont mind me repeating it
I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse or that you just want to stop drinking.
SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?- Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful),
- Hypnotherapy,
- Meditation,
- Dietary supplements,
- A healthy diet, and regular meals
- Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
- Spending a significant amount of time here or other non drinking sites, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
- Going to AA meetings
- Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.
Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.
Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.
So good luck and rememebr it can be done.
Hi Realies,
Great advice above. Your point on using this website or similar is good because I think it keeps you focussed.
Would you be able to expand on these below a bit more?
[*]Hypnotherapy,
[*]Meditation,
[*]Dietary supplements,
[*]Medication (0 -
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Carpet diem wrote: »Hi Realise,
Great advice above. Your point on using this website or similar is good because I think it keeps you focussed.
Would you be able to expand on these below a bit more?
[*]Hypnotherapy,
[*]Meditation,
[*]Dietary supplements,
[*]Medication (
We have to be careful about giving advice here as its not allowed by the charter
Hypnotherapy
As a general rule not everyone is susceptible to hypnosis to begin with even in person. ( It has nothing to do with brain function either). I imagine that they may still be great for relaxation, positive and creative visualization, meditation and just taking the time to refocus on your goals? there is no magical potion. ( I looked into that too lol) hard work, patients and time is the only thing that has worked so far, and only when I was really ready to work towards freedom and true happiness and not a second sooner.
You can check out Itunes and the app store to see if they have some cheaper versions of hypnotherapy that are well reviewed you might want to try and see how you feel. The guided meditations might be enjoyable too. Good luck and let us know what you've concluded.
Meditation
None of us can completely control the stress and tension in our lives and unfortunately emotional situations many times come without warning and when a person relapses during their recovery it's due to stress, depression and anxiety. Meditation is an alternative form of therapy that can not only help to prevent relapse from drug and alcohol abuse but can also help with recovery from other forms of dependency.
Dietary supplements
Vitamin B
Multivitamin
D3
Co enzyme Q 10
Phosphatidyl
Theanine with GABA
Glutamine
Inositol
Milk thistle
Zinc
Minerals
Omega oils
Vit c ester
Multi amino acids
Chromium picolinate
Tryptophan and melatonin ....when I need to get an early night
of course any meds you take should at first be talked about with your own doctor and the above are just some I have taken over the last few years in my ways to get healthy.
Medication,
I am not going to post what medication people can take to help them in stopping drinking but there are quite a few out there,but once again you should talk to your own doctor before taking any medication,FWIW i took no meds what so ever as I have said before there is no easy way to stop and it will take hard will power and work in all aspects of your current lifestyle to change,Remember nothing changes if nothing changes.Good luck and let us know how your getting on.0 -
We have to be careful about giving advice here as its not allowed by the charter
Hypnotherapy
As a general rule not everyone is susceptible to hypnosis to begin with even in person. ( It has nothing to do with brain function either). I imagine that they may still be great for relaxation, positive and creative visualization, meditation and just taking the time to refocus on your goals? there is no magical potion. ( I looked into that too lol) hard work, patients and time is the only thing that has worked so far, and only when I was really ready to work towards freedom and true happiness and not a second sooner.
You can check out Itunes and the app store to see if they have some cheaper versions of hypnotherapy that are well reviewed you might want to try and see how you feel. The guided meditations might be enjoyable too. Good luck and let us know what you've concluded.
Meditation
None of us can completely control the stress and tension in our lives and unfortunately emotional situations many times come without warning and when a person relapses during their recovery it's due to stress, depression and anxiety. Meditation is an alternative form of therapy that can not only help to prevent relapse from drug and alcohol abuse but can also help with recovery from other forms of dependency.
Dietary supplements
Vitamin B
Multivitamin
D3
Co enzyme Q 10
Phosphatidyl
Theanine with GABA
Glutamine
Inositol
Milk thistle
Zinc
Minerals
Omega oils
Vit c ester
Multi amino acids
Chromium picolinate
Tryptophan and melatonin ....when I need to get an early night
of course any meds you take should at first be talked about with your own doctor and the above are just some I have taken over the last few years in my ways to get healthy.
Medication,
I am not going to post what medication people can take to help them in stopping drinking but there are quite a few out there,but once again you should talk to your own doctor before taking any medication,FWIW i took no meds what so ever as I have said before there is no easy way to stop and it will take hard will power and work in all aspects of your current lifestyle to change,Remember nothing changes if nothing changes.Good luck and let us know how your getting on.
Thanks realies,
The meditation one is one that I would would be off interest to me. Any suggestions on what you found useful? I was thinking of Yoga but I think I need something other than this as this feels like an exercise really..0 -
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Did loads of family related stuff Saturday, went for a run and everyhting was going fine. Got a couple texts around 9 pm - 10 pm to go out and I was off. Out to niteclub, back to party. In bed until 4 pm, back out about 6pm Sunday night - niteclub and party. Missed work Monday & had 4/5 pints Monday evening.
Back to square one - feel like a d*ck for missing work and spending hundreds of €'s.
I need to give up as it is draining me physically, mentally and emotionally.
Is AA the best option for me?
I have abosultely no desire to go out or drink during the week. However once Saturday comes I get drawn in and I'm off on a session. I go to the gym 4/5 times a week to Saturday so I can't really use that as a disctraction. I know of an AA meeting in town about 6 pm on a Sat I might try that.
I know that if I continue the way I am, I will never be happy or have the life I want.
Sounds exactly like my drinking, hardcore weekend warrior with little interest during the week, only problem is that the weekend's excesses destroyed my whole week, every week. Ive been attending AA for the past year with great success, and I highly recommend it to anyone in your situation. It helps to disregard the stereotypical image of the alcoholic as some wino in the gutter drinking every waking second. In reality most of the people Ive met in the rooms were serial binge drinkers. Alcoholism is more about the mindset than the drinking habits, and when you go in you should look at the similarities as opposed to the differences. You dont even have to classify yourself as alcoholic to attend, meetings are open to anyone with a desire to stop drinking. Alcoholism is a self-diagnosis, nobody can tell you that you are an alcoholic or not, and it boils down to this: is alcohol affecting your life negatively and do you want to stop?
So yeah give the meetings a shot, you have nothing to lose and a happy fulfilling life to gain, and you can get a full refund on your misery if it doesnt work out
Where are you based?0 -
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Sounds exactly like my drinking, hardcore weekend warrior with little interest during the week, only problem is that the weekend's excesses destroyed my whole week, every week. Ive been attending AA for the past year with great success, and I highly recommend it to anyone in your situation. It helps to disregard the stereotypical image of the alcoholic as some wino in the gutter drinking every waking second. In reality most of the people Ive met in the rooms were serial binge drinkers. Alcoholism is more about the mindset than the drinking habits, and when you go in you should look at the similarities as opposed to the differences. You dont even have to classify yourself as alcoholic to attend, meetings are open to anyone with a desire to stop drinking. Alcoholism is a self-diagnosis, nobody can tell you that you are an alcoholic or not, and it boils down to this: is alcohol affecting your life negatively and do you want to stop?
So yeah give the meetings a shot, you have nothing to lose and a happy fulfilling life to gain, and you can get a full refund on your misery if it doesnt work out
Where are you based?
Based just about 12 miles outside Dublin City Centre but work in City Centre during the week. Checking out a counsellor in the City online at the moment and considering a visit to AA also. I look around at myself, my home, my car, finances and job would all be significantly improved if I gave up drink.0 -
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Finally took a leap this week and did a session with a counsellor.
He asked lots and lots of questions.
Target for me is stay dry until next session with him.
Think I will revisit an AA meeting this week to help me along too.
Well done on taking that first big step, sometimes KeefF we need professional help in our struggles,nothing to be ashamed ofThe first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.
Mark Caine :cool:0 -
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