People don't cheat in happy marriages.

Sinfonia

PaulB1984 wrote: »

cheaters are bored and unhappy, if not, why cheat at all?

Insecurity, for example.

ascanbe

IM0 wrote: »

guarantee you anyone answering against this is 'stuck' in a marriage knowing they can only **** that person for the rest of their lives [and so jealous]
and that the whole death do us part nonsense is why lots are still with their partners. glad I dont have that religious shame

cue response with 150+ thanks

[most with their partners sitting beside them ]

The OP really didn't even ask a legitimate question, as it happens; or at least not one that bore any relationship with the 'screed' he/she followed it up with.

If you wanted to make absolutely no point, and come across as misguidedly 'smug', with this post, then, mission accomplished.

IM0

ascanbe wrote: »

The OP really didn't even ask a legitimate question, as it happens; or at least not one that bore any relationship with the 'screed' he/she followed it up with.

If you wanted to make absolutely no point, and come across as misguidedly 'smug', with this post, then, mission accomplished.

now watch your thanks count rocket!

ascanbe

IM0 wrote: »

now watch your thanks count rocket!

Couldn't give a sh*te about thanks count.
Just happened to be up, drunk and, for some reason, felt the need to respond to your comment.
This thread was started in the middle of the night, by the way, so even if my post could garner the type of 'right on' thanks you refer to, it's likely that this thread will be gone from the first page come morning, and will slip into the ether, like so many others..
If it manages to hang around, it is a 'sexy' topic, after all, and my post racks up the number of thanks that you imagine, then i'll drink 'em in, i suppose.

asherbassad

PaulB1984 wrote: »

If a man or woman cheats on their life partner, how is it that people always believe they can make it work? Obviously if they've cheated, they're not happy with their choice, so are looking elsewhere, and if they do it once, they'll do it again. A marriage is like having the same thing for dinner every evening, there are people who will eat the same thing every day without complaint or want for something different, but there are, of course, those who want something different now and then, who don't want to feel like their life is a circle, just a motion to go through with the same things filling each day. That's how married life must work, waking up to the same person every single morning and knowing that you've tied your life to theirs can be daunting i dare say. I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater, and most of what i've just said is a principal factor. Could i live with just one woman for the rest of my days? To know there are so many other women out there but that i may only have the one i chose? Like buying a smartphone? You've got a great model but a later model appeals to you and makes you question your decision to stick with the current version? Choice is choice, regardless of what it is. That's why people cheat, they're unhappy in the choices they've made, they want something different, something that breaks their everyday mould.

Go to a swing club or give me your wife for a night with a bottle of wine and a camera. Otherwise....stay dead!

Ihatecuddles-old

Few bleedin' paragraphs wouldn't go amiss.

Son Of A Vidic

PaulB1984 wrote: »

I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater

So you're obviously clearly well qualified then to discuss this subject matter.

BillyMitchel

OP do you have a hangover??

PaulB1984

Bedshaped wrote: »

Can't two people be happy with each other emotionally and intellectually but maybe not be compatible sexually any more?

Of course. But that's not my point, those people stay together because as you've said, they're happy. My premise is if one weren't happy, they would leave.

PaulB1984

Sinfonia wrote: »

Insecurity, for example.

If you're insecure, you're unhappy.

PaulB1984

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Few bleedin' paragraphs wouldn't go amiss.

One point, one paragraph. And if we're complaining about paragraphs, let's the discuss the use of a ' instead of G, or the fact that you need to say "Bleedin'" at all. A paragraph lover has manners.

PaulB1984

IM0 wrote: »

guarantee you anyone answering against this is 'stuck' in a marriage knowing they can only **** that person for the rest of their lives [and so jealous]
and that the whole death do us part nonsense is why lots are still with their partners. glad I dont have that religious shame

cue response with 150+ thanks

[most with their partners sitting beside them ]

So you believe that nobody cheats on their wife/husband? I didn't know that, thanks for the info. My point was that a man/woman will only cheat if they're unhappy and unsatisfied in their marriage. But as you said... Well, whatever you said.

Loving your 150+ thanks.

Geri Male

PaulB1984 wrote: »

if they do it once, they'll do it again.

Bullsh*t. Some people cheat once, realise they've made a stupid mistake and don't do it again. I know from experience.

jonsnow

Thinly veiled I,m a player thread

PaulB1984

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

So you're obviously clearly well qualified then to discuss this subject matter.

I would've thought what i said made perfect sense, whether i want to give up my life to someone else or not. If you have €1 million, spend half of it, then realise you could have €1 million for that remaining half million, would you give it up?

Geri Male

PaulB1984 wrote: »

I would've thought what i said made perfect sense, whether i want to give up my life to someone else or not. If you have €1 million, spend half of it, then realise you could have €1 million for that remaining half million, would you give it up?

You should be castrated.

PaulB1984

Geri Male wrote: »

Bullsh*t. Some people cheat once, realise they've made a stupid mistake and don't do it again. I know from experience.

If it's in someone to cheat once, it's in them to cheat twice. Ever hear of a man leaving his wife for another woman, then leaving the other woman for another woman? That's called unhappiness, that's a man who can't quite find what he wants, but knows he doesn't want marriage anymore. And should, as you've said, someone not make the stupid mistake again, it doesn't mean they don't want to, it just means that they're trapped in something that makes them feel safe but unhappy.

PaulB1984

Geri Male wrote: »

You should be castrated.

And here is what's wrong with the world.

But in response, you either cheated on your wife or she cheated on you, either way your private parts are of no use, so ditto.

Czarcasm

PaulB1984 wrote: »

If a man or woman cheats on their life partner, how is it that people always believe they can make it work? Obviously if they've cheated, they're not happy with their choice, so are looking elsewhere, and if they do it once, they'll do it again. A marriage is like having the same thing for dinner every evening, there are people who will eat the same thing every day without complaint or want for something different, but there are, of course, those who want something different now and then, who don't want to feel like their life is a circle, just a motion to go through with the same things filling each day. That's how married life must work, waking up to the same person every single morning and knowing that you've tied your life to theirs can be daunting i dare say. I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater, and most of what i've just said is a principal factor. Could i live with just one woman for the rest of my days? To know there are so many other women out there but that i may only have the one i chose? Like buying a smartphone? You've got a great model but a later model appeals to you and makes you question your decision to stick with the current version? Choice is choice, regardless of what it is. That's why people cheat, they're unhappy in the choices they've made, they want something different, something that breaks their everyday mould.

OP you sound like a priest- no idea what you're talking about but still thinking your lack of experience qualifies you to form an opinion on something of you have no experience. You have an incredibly simplistic world view and a very pessimistic view of the intricacies of human relationships. I'd respectfully suggest you grow up a bit and get out a bit more. A bit more maturity might shake off your deep rooted insecurities.

PaulB1984

Czarcasm wrote: »

OP you sound like a priest- no idea what you're talking about but still thinking your lack of experience qualifies you to form an opinion on something of you have no experience. You have an incredibly simplistic world view and a very pessimistic view of the intricacies of human relationships. I'd respectfully suggest you grow up a bit and get out a bit more. A bit more maturity might shake off your deep rooted insecurities.

I don't need experience to tell me someone is a cheat because they're not happy. You think if a man is married to a woman that truly makes him happy, he's be out cheating on her? Of course he wouldn't. Why is that so difficult to understand?

SuperGrover

Sinfonia wrote: »

Insecurity, for example.

Horn + gargle is another one.

cowzerp

PaulB1984 wrote: »

I don't need experience to tell me someone is a cheat because they're not happy. You think if a man is married to a woman that truly makes him happy, he's be out cheating on her? Of course he wouldn't. Why is that so difficult to understand?

Maybe they're very happy but just greedy.

PaulB1984

cowzerp wrote: »

Maybe they're very happy but just greedy.

Greedy people aren't happy, that's why they're greedy. I've 2 chocolate biscuits here, i'm eating them, but am i happy? No. I wish i had 2 more. Greed, insecurity etc... is all part of being unhappy.

Czarcasm

PaulB1984 wrote: »

I don't need experience to tell me someone is a cheat because they're not happy. You think if a man is married to a woman that truly makes him happy, he's be out cheating on her? Of course he wouldn't. Why is that so difficult to understand?

Yes, I do, and yes, he would. And the same could be said for a woman.

Why is THAT so difficult for YOU to understand? Perhaps because you have no experience of relationships, let alone what it is to be married, not to mention what it is to be truly happy. At least I can base my opinion on my own personal experience. Can you say the same? I thought not.

PaulB1984

Czarcasm wrote: »

Yes, I do, and yes, he would. And the same could be said for a woman.

Why is THAT so difficult for YOU to understand? Perhaps because you have no experience of relationships, let alone what it is to be married, not to mention what it is to be truly happy. At least I can base my opinion on my own personal experience. Can you say the same? I thought not.

OK, here's an example. I'm going out with Megan Fox. Yum. You start going out with Angelina Jolie. Angie them comes to my home and says "Want some?". Will i be happy enough to stick Megan? Or will i want some from Angie? Answer is yes, yes i most certainly would. Which is why i'm not married. If a man is happy with what he has, he won't want anything or anyone else. Same goes for a woman, if she's happy, she'll stick around.

Czarcasm

PaulB1984 wrote: »

OK, here's an example. I'm going out with Megan Fox. Yum. You start going out with Angelina Jolie. Angie them comes to my home and says "Want some?". Will i be happy enough to stick Megan? Or will i want some from Angie? Answer is yes, yes i most certainly would. Which is why i'm not married. If a man is happy with what he has, he won't want anything or anyone else. Same goes for a woman, if she's happy, she'll stick around.

Come back here when you're married and we can have that conversation! Until then you're talking pure hypotheticals and ridiculous examples. It's like I said before- you have a very simplistic world view and you fail to see that if you are dependent on someone else to make you happy, then you'll never be happy. It has to come from within yourself.

That's why there are plenty more reasons for cheating than just "not being happy" being with the person you're with.

PaulB1984

Czarcasm wrote: »

Come back here when you're married and we can have that conversation! Until then you're talking pure hypotheticals and ridiculous examples. It's like I said before- you have a very simplistic world view and you fail to see that if you are dependent on someone else to make you happy, then you'll never be happy. It has to come from within yourself.

That's why there are plenty more reasons for cheating than just "not being happy" being with the person you're with.

Feel free to name the reasons. Please do not include:

Insecurity

Greed

Lonliness

Czarcasm

PaulB1984 wrote: »

Feel free to name the reasos. Please do not include:

Insecurity

Greed

Lonliness

No. Because I would consider it a waste of my time when you are completely unwilling to listen to anyone but yourself and only want to steer the thread your way, based on a flawed premise in your OP and your own lack of experience of the multitude of complexities involved.

It'll become a time sink of a thread when you constantly dig your heels in and continue to come up with ridiculous comparisons and examples which only serve to prove you have no idea what you're talking about and are unwilling to listen to anyones opinion but your own.

Betty Suarez

I am married 10 years happily and I still has a **** buddy I sees occasionally. I don't see the harm in it.

BillyMitchel

Betty Suarez wrote: »

I am married 10 years happily and I still has a **** buddy I sees occasionally. I don't see the harm in it.

I'm not one to judge or anything but if I was your husband and found out that my wife had a fock buddy for a number of years, I think it's safe to say I'd be pretty upset and down to the solicitors first thing the next day!