People don't cheat in happy marriages.

PaulB1984

If a man or woman cheats on their life partner, how is it that people always believe they can make it work? Obviously if they've cheated, they're not happy with their choice, so are looking elsewhere, and if they do it once, they'll do it again. A marriage is like having the same thing for dinner every evening, there are people who will eat the same thing every day without complaint or want for something different, but there are, of course, those who want something different now and then, who don't want to feel like their life is a circle, just a motion to go through with the same things filling each day. That's how married life must work, waking up to the same person every single morning and knowing that you've tied your life to theirs can be daunting i dare say. I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater, and most of what i've just said is a principal factor. Could i live with just one woman for the rest of my days? To know there are so many other women out there but that i may only have the one i chose? Like buying a smartphone? You've got a great model but a later model appeals to you and makes you question your decision to stick with the current version? Choice is choice, regardless of what it is. That's why people cheat, they're unhappy in the choices they've made, they want something different, something that breaks their everyday mould.

Dave0301

Go home OP, you're drunk.

ITS_A_BADGER

Watching too much fair city Op?

PaulB1984

PaulB1984 wrote: »

If a man or woman cheats on their life partner, how is it that people always believe they can make it work? Obviously if they've cheated, they're not happy with their choice, so are looking elsewhere, and if they do it once, they'll do it again. A marriage is like having the same thing for dinner every evening, there are people who will eat the same thing every day without complaint or want for something different, but there are, of course, those who want something different now and then, who don't want to feel like their life is a circle, just a motion to go through with the same things filling each day. That's how married life must work, waking up to the same person every single morning and knowing that you've tied your life to theirs can be daunting i dare say. I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater, and most of what i've just said is a principal factor. Could i live with just one woman for the rest of my days? To know there are so many other women out there but that i may only have the one i chose? Like buying a smartphone? You've got a great model but a later model appeals to you and makes you question your decision to stick with the current version? Choice is choice, regardless of what it is. That's why people cheat, they're unhappy in the choices they've made, they want something different, something that breaks their everyday mould.

How have you figured all this out if you're not a marriage, relationship, or dating guy?

Its like saying I know I don't like steak, grapes, or apple juice without ever tasting any of them.

Assumptions, assumptions.

PaulB1984

Dave0301 wrote: »

Go home OP, you're drunk.

I'm being deadly serious. The sole reason of cheating in marriages is the want for change, for something that may be deemed better.

PaulB1984

ITS_A_BADGER wrote: »

Watching too much fair city Op?

Haven't seen much to be honest, but you mention a great point. The doctor, her husband cheated because he was bored, and now she's cheating on him because she's bored, and thinks her old flame is who she belongs with. Perfect example.

anhedonia

PaulB1984 wrote: »

Like buying a smartphone? You've got a great model but a later model appeals to you and makes you question your decision to stick with the current version?

Have you considered jailbreaking your wife?

Senna

In other news, scientists have spend €50m and 4 years on testing their theory "do bears sh1t in the woods"

Bedshaped

Can't two people be happy with each other emotionally and intellectually but maybe not be compatible sexually any more?

orestes

PaulB1984 wrote: »

I'm being deadly serious. The sole reason of cheating in marriages is the want for change, for something that may be deemed better.

Well thanks for clearing that up for everybody.

Can you do world peace tomorrow?

fergiesfolly

Obvious virgin is virgin.

PaulB1984

Candie wrote: »

How have you figured all this out if you're not a marriage, relationship, or dating guy?

Its like saying I know I don't like steak, grapes, or apple juice without ever tasting any of them.

Assumptions, assumptions.

Here's the thing... Which may i have? If i can have only one of what you mentioned, which will i have for the rest of my life? And please note i'm crazy for all 3. It's not an assumption, it's an observation, cheaters are bored and unhappy, if not, why cheat at all?

uch

Man thats a big sentence

PaulB1984

orestes wrote: »

Well thanks for clearing that up for everybody.

Can you do world peace tomorrow?

World peace? You know what's stopping world peace? Killers and corruption. Solving world peace is nothing, solving those problems is key. Everything has an on/off switch.

PaulB1984

PaulB1984 wrote: »

Here's the thing... Which may i have? If i can have only one of what you mentioned, which will i have for the rest of my life? And please note i'm crazy for all 3. It's not an assumption, it's an observation, cheaters are bored and unhappy, if not, why cheat at all?

You can't assume you know the motivations of all cheaters. You know the likely motivation for some of it, maybe even a lot of it. Not all of it.

Some people cheat because they can't resist temptation, and they think they won't get caught. That has nothing to do with their partners. Some people cheat just because they're selfish and don't love their partners as faithfully as they should, again, thats got nothing to do with the partner, its their own failing.

Being a weak or selfish person is nothing to do with being restricted to one person for sex, its just about being a bit of a sh!t.

Paddy Cow

OP have you just come home from a dinner party where you were surrounded by married couples who left you feeling inferior and now you are justifying why you are single?

orestes

Paddy Cow wrote: »

OP have you just come home from a dinner party where you were surrounded by married couples who left you feeling inferior and now you are justifying why you are single?

Sounds more like he was at a swingers party where nobody picked his keys out of the bowl.

Mr Benevolent

I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater

So... you're a wanker?

HondaSami

PaulB1984 wrote: »

cheaters are bored and unhappy, if not, why cheat at all?

Not necessarily, just because you want someone else does not mean you don't want your partner nor does it mean you are unhappy.

steddyeddy

I wouldn't agree tbh. Plenty of people in happy marriages cheat.

beerbaron

anhedonia wrote: »

Have you considered jailbreaking your wife?

She might prefer to be Rooted

Paddy Cow

orestes wrote: »

Sounds more like he was at a swingers party where nobody picked his keys out of the bowl.

LOL :pac:

I doubt it. He doesn't do dating, relationships or marriage so I guess he's a "nice guy" who lives in Stereotype Land which is black and white, rather than living in the Real World which is more often than not grey and confusing.

goz83

Sounds like OP has only experienced the Nokia 3210 of women, or maybe he's gay? All phones make and receive calls, but they're not all the same.

thenightrider

I bet the op live's at home with mammy and daddy is in his 30's and shares a room with his brother i know who you are op.

Lenin Skynard

Plenty of miserable people in miserable marriages that never cheat and plenty of happy people in happy marriages that do cheat.

Too many people on this forum think they can boil all of life down to some kind of scientific/economic theory that has no real bearing on real life.

blackdog2

Sounds like someone got a text from himself and a horn to boot

Jimmy Garlic

Don't get married if you are a german with 11 fingers.

blackdog2

Also, if people cheat in the Junior Cert mocks, they will sure as hell cheat in relationships. People are base animals, read some shakespeare and if that doesn't mess with your head/make things clear, nothing will

Allyall

PaulB1984 wrote: »

I'm being deadly serious. The sole reason of cheating in marriages is the want for change, for something that may be deemed better.

That's the sole reason? .... There's no other reason at all?







....... slips quietly over to the "what really obvious" thread...

ascanbe

It's pretty simple, isn't it?

If you're in a relationship and you're unhappy in it and feel like getting with someone else, then end that relationship and do as you will.

Don't cheat and betray the person most emotionally involved with you.

If you're in a marriage and have the same feelings, then have the guts, honor and simple decency to make that clear and go from there/work it out/divorce/whatever: rather than stabbing the person you married in the back, and potentially destroying lives, especially if you have kids.

IM0

guarantee you anyone answering against this is 'stuck' in a marriage knowing they can only **** that person for the rest of their lives [and so jealous]
and that the whole death do us part nonsense is why lots are still with their partners. glad I dont have that religious shame

cue response with 150+ thanks

[most with their partners sitting beside them ]

Sinfonia

PaulB1984 wrote: »

cheaters are bored and unhappy, if not, why cheat at all?

Insecurity, for example.

ascanbe

IM0 wrote: »

guarantee you anyone answering against this is 'stuck' in a marriage knowing they can only **** that person for the rest of their lives [and so jealous]
and that the whole death do us part nonsense is why lots are still with their partners. glad I dont have that religious shame

cue response with 150+ thanks

[most with their partners sitting beside them ]

The OP really didn't even ask a legitimate question, as it happens; or at least not one that bore any relationship with the 'screed' he/she followed it up with.

If you wanted to make absolutely no point, and come across as misguidedly 'smug', with this post, then, mission accomplished.

IM0

ascanbe wrote: »

The OP really didn't even ask a legitimate question, as it happens; or at least not one that bore any relationship with the 'screed' he/she followed it up with.

If you wanted to make absolutely no point, and come across as misguidedly 'smug', with this post, then, mission accomplished.

now watch your thanks count rocket!

ascanbe

IM0 wrote: »

now watch your thanks count rocket!

Couldn't give a sh*te about thanks count.
Just happened to be up, drunk and, for some reason, felt the need to respond to your comment.
This thread was started in the middle of the night, by the way, so even if my post could garner the type of 'right on' thanks you refer to, it's likely that this thread will be gone from the first page come morning, and will slip into the ether, like so many others..
If it manages to hang around, it is a 'sexy' topic, after all, and my post racks up the number of thanks that you imagine, then i'll drink 'em in, i suppose.

asherbassad

PaulB1984 wrote: »

If a man or woman cheats on their life partner, how is it that people always believe they can make it work? Obviously if they've cheated, they're not happy with their choice, so are looking elsewhere, and if they do it once, they'll do it again. A marriage is like having the same thing for dinner every evening, there are people who will eat the same thing every day without complaint or want for something different, but there are, of course, those who want something different now and then, who don't want to feel like their life is a circle, just a motion to go through with the same things filling each day. That's how married life must work, waking up to the same person every single morning and knowing that you've tied your life to theirs can be daunting i dare say. I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater, and most of what i've just said is a principal factor. Could i live with just one woman for the rest of my days? To know there are so many other women out there but that i may only have the one i chose? Like buying a smartphone? You've got a great model but a later model appeals to you and makes you question your decision to stick with the current version? Choice is choice, regardless of what it is. That's why people cheat, they're unhappy in the choices they've made, they want something different, something that breaks their everyday mould.

Go to a swing club or give me your wife for a night with a bottle of wine and a camera. Otherwise....stay dead!

Ihatecuddles-old

Few bleedin' paragraphs wouldn't go amiss.

Son Of A Vidic

PaulB1984 wrote: »

I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater

So you're obviously clearly well qualified then to discuss this subject matter.

BillyMitchel

OP do you have a hangover??

PaulB1984

Bedshaped wrote: »

Can't two people be happy with each other emotionally and intellectually but maybe not be compatible sexually any more?

Of course. But that's not my point, those people stay together because as you've said, they're happy. My premise is if one weren't happy, they would leave.

PaulB1984

Sinfonia wrote: »

Insecurity, for example.

If you're insecure, you're unhappy.

PaulB1984

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Few bleedin' paragraphs wouldn't go amiss.

One point, one paragraph. And if we're complaining about paragraphs, let's the discuss the use of a ' instead of G, or the fact that you need to say "Bleedin'" at all. A paragraph lover has manners.

PaulB1984

IM0 wrote: »

guarantee you anyone answering against this is 'stuck' in a marriage knowing they can only **** that person for the rest of their lives [and so jealous]
and that the whole death do us part nonsense is why lots are still with their partners. glad I dont have that religious shame

cue response with 150+ thanks

[most with their partners sitting beside them ]

So you believe that nobody cheats on their wife/husband? I didn't know that, thanks for the info. My point was that a man/woman will only cheat if they're unhappy and unsatisfied in their marriage. But as you said... Well, whatever you said.

Loving your 150+ thanks.

Geri Male

PaulB1984 wrote: »

if they do it once, they'll do it again.

Bullsh*t. Some people cheat once, realise they've made a stupid mistake and don't do it again. I know from experience.

jonsnow

Thinly veiled I,m a player thread

PaulB1984

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

So you're obviously clearly well qualified then to discuss this subject matter.

I would've thought what i said made perfect sense, whether i want to give up my life to someone else or not. If you have €1 million, spend half of it, then realise you could have €1 million for that remaining half million, would you give it up?

Geri Male

PaulB1984 wrote: »

I would've thought what i said made perfect sense, whether i want to give up my life to someone else or not. If you have €1 million, spend half of it, then realise you could have €1 million for that remaining half million, would you give it up?

You should be castrated.

PaulB1984

Geri Male wrote: »

Bullsh*t. Some people cheat once, realise they've made a stupid mistake and don't do it again. I know from experience.

If it's in someone to cheat once, it's in them to cheat twice. Ever hear of a man leaving his wife for another woman, then leaving the other woman for another woman? That's called unhappiness, that's a man who can't quite find what he wants, but knows he doesn't want marriage anymore. And should, as you've said, someone not make the stupid mistake again, it doesn't mean they don't want to, it just means that they're trapped in something that makes them feel safe but unhappy.

PaulB1984

Geri Male wrote: »

You should be castrated.

And here is what's wrong with the world.

But in response, you either cheated on your wife or she cheated on you, either way your private parts are of no use, so ditto.

Czarcasm

PaulB1984 wrote: »

If a man or woman cheats on their life partner, how is it that people always believe they can make it work? Obviously if they've cheated, they're not happy with their choice, so are looking elsewhere, and if they do it once, they'll do it again. A marriage is like having the same thing for dinner every evening, there are people who will eat the same thing every day without complaint or want for something different, but there are, of course, those who want something different now and then, who don't want to feel like their life is a circle, just a motion to go through with the same things filling each day. That's how married life must work, waking up to the same person every single morning and knowing that you've tied your life to theirs can be daunting i dare say. I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater, and most of what i've just said is a principal factor. Could i live with just one woman for the rest of my days? To know there are so many other women out there but that i may only have the one i chose? Like buying a smartphone? You've got a great model but a later model appeals to you and makes you question your decision to stick with the current version? Choice is choice, regardless of what it is. That's why people cheat, they're unhappy in the choices they've made, they want something different, something that breaks their everyday mould.

OP you sound like a priest- no idea what you're talking about but still thinking your lack of experience qualifies you to form an opinion on something of you have no experience. You have an incredibly simplistic world view and a very pessimistic view of the intricacies of human relationships. I'd respectfully suggest you grow up a bit and get out a bit more. A bit more maturity might shake off your deep rooted insecurities.

PaulB1984

Czarcasm wrote: »

OP you sound like a priest- no idea what you're talking about but still thinking your lack of experience qualifies you to form an opinion on something of you have no experience. You have an incredibly simplistic world view and a very pessimistic view of the intricacies of human relationships. I'd respectfully suggest you grow up a bit and get out a bit more. A bit more maturity might shake off your deep rooted insecurities.

I don't need experience to tell me someone is a cheat because they're not happy. You think if a man is married to a woman that truly makes him happy, he's be out cheating on her? Of course he wouldn't. Why is that so difficult to understand?