Anyone else wish they were a man?

Fox_In_Socks

clairefontaine wrote:

Ireland is small country and in small places things get amplified like they are in a greenhouse.

I dont know if you are assuming the same hysteria [if there even is hysteria as you claim] exists in larger nations like the UK and the US. It sounds like you are but it's a bit confusing even what you mean by hysteria.

From what I can see not much has been done. Its' not like they've employed buddy systems in schools, or conducted parenting classes for how to spot behaviour changes, how to look for grooming, or what to do if you child says something to you, there is no actual preventative action in response to this so called hysteria in Ireland, so to me it looks like the opposite of hysteria, lassitude or inertia. To call it hysteria implies that it's all in one's imagination, when it's a real problem.

Its not really within acceptable boundaries to approach or touch kids you don't know so if you get a weird look it doesn't necessarily mean they think you are going to commit sexual assault but that maybe you crossed a boundary and are being a little weird.

This thread has meandered from a harmless dream of wanting to be a man to child sex offenders. So just to add the plus of being female is that chances are you will talk about it to someone much more so than if you are a boy. Let's just hope someone doesn't call you hysterical.

I think most people would be naturally suspicious, yes.

I remember when I was a child, this guy came came up behind me in the supermaret and held his hands over my eyes, and said "Guess who?" or something like that. I turned around with a smile, thinking it might be an uncle of mine or something, and it was a stranger, a fellow of about 60 or so. My mother had a glazed, polite smile on her face, and even at that age, I knew it was a bit weird.

Someone said above in this thread, about them being given suspicious looks if they are a man and were caught smiling at someone's children in a shop. To be honest, why would you you be smiling a stranger's children in the first place? I don't mean that in a bad way, but it's what went through my mind when I first read it.

The Corinthian

I see I'm quoted above, even though I'm pretty certain I didn't actually post the above...

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

To be honest, why would you you be smiling a stranger's children in the first place? I don't mean that in a bad way, but it's what went through my mind when I first read it.

Because they smiled at you first. They do that, you know.

Interesting though that such dark motivations are running through peoples' minds even here.

username123

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

To be honest, why would you you be smiling a stranger's children in the first place? I don't mean that in a bad way, but it's what went through my mind when I first read it.

Because a lot of people like children - and not in a sinister way. Plenty of people smile at children for a variety of reasons, because they are friendly people, because they think the child looks cute, because the child smiled at them, because they dont want to appear cold.....

I smile at peoples dogs because I like dogs.

On the thread topic, Id like to experience what it is like to be a man, but then again Id also like to experience what it is like to be a different type of girl (maybe a glamorous one!). Generally speaking Im happy enough with being a woman, although Id like to be taller (mind you no guarantee of that by being male). Id also like to experience not having boobs for a change and Id really like to try out a shaved head (again, dont have to be male for that either). I can be quite male in my approach to life I am told, in terms of liking technology, being a science nerdy type, not having that much going on in terms of touchy feely-ness and having no maternal feelings.

Fox_In_Socks

The Corinthian wrote: »

I see I'm quoted above, even though I'm pretty certain I didn't actually post the above...

Because they smiled at you first. They do that, you know.

Interesting though that such dark motivations are running through peoples' minds even here.

"Dark motivations?" That implies that I have a motive or an agenda. I don't have any agenda, was only giving my personal opinion.

"Even here?" What's special about this forum/thread?

Eve_Dublin

Tbh, I didn't bring Paedophilia hysteria up on this thread and I don't care enough to continue with the argument. I've said what I have to say on it.

Eve_Dublin

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Tbh, I didn't bring Paedophilia hysteria up on this thread and I don't care enough to continue with the argument. I've said what I have to say on it.

Edit: I don't mean that I don't care that men are treated like freaks for smiling at kids in Anglophone countries...it's a shame but I'm not interested in getting into a debate about it. It has nothing to do with the thread.

clairefontaine

That's fine, I just don't think it's fair to posit such a phenomenal generalisation about the peoples and cultures of many many nations including the US, the UK, Ireland, parts of Canada, Australia, etc by calling them a bunch of hysterics who treat men like freaks when they smile at a child they don't know. There are many many men all over these countries who have smiled at kids, from behind their ice cream trucks, in shops, on the school bus, where ever, and do not get treated like freaks. It is a very unfair assertion to make about so many cultures and people.

No its not what the thread was ORIGINALLY about but it is what the thread became about.

Eve_Dublin

clairefontaine wrote: »

That's fine, I just don't think it's fair to posit such a phenomenal generalisation about the peoples and cultures of many many nations including the US, the UK, Ireland, parts of Canada, Australia, etc by calling them a bunch of hysterics who treat men like freaks when they smile at a child they don't know. There are many many men all over these countries who have smiled at kids, from behind their ice cream trucks, in shops, on the school bus, where ever, and do not get treated like freaks. It is a very unfair assertion to make about so many cultures and people.

No its not what the thread was ORIGINALLY about but it is what the thread became about.

For the love of Jesus! You're just inventing stuff now.
:rolleyes:

I said hysteria exists and it doesn't in Spain. I wasn't referring to everyone in those countries (I didn't mention Oz or Canada). Some people have a negative attitude towards men who smile at children in public and they don't here....at all.


You'll have to take that up with Corinthian. I'm only going on what men have said. I haven't heard similar complaints made among Spanish men.

Not sure why I'm getting the brunt of this exactly?

Good night.

Eve_Dublin

clairefontaine wrote: »

That's fine, I just don't think it's fair to posit such a phenomenal generalisation about the peoples and cultures of many many nations including the US, the UK, Ireland, parts of Canada, Australia, etc by calling them a bunch of hysterics who treat men like freaks when they smile at a child they don't know. There are many many men all over these countries who have smiled at kids, from behind their ice cream trucks, in shops, on the school bus, where ever, and do not get treated like freaks. It is a very unfair assertion to make about so many cultures and people.

No its not what the thread was ORIGINALLY about but it is what the thread became about.

Actually can you show me where I said this? I just reread your post. I said the tabloid media created hysteria among it's readership around the issue of Paedophilia. I didn't call the people of those countries "a bunch of hysterics" (I'm Irish btw ).

I think you should get your facts straight before you make accusations like that.

Wibbs

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Edit: I don't mean that I don't care that men are treated like freaks for smiling at kids in Anglophone countries...it's a shame but I'm not interested in getting into a debate about it. It has nothing to do with the thread.

Exactly, lets move on from this line the thread is going in please.

Eve_Dublin

I apologise.

Wibbs

The Corinthian your post has been deleted as per my warning two posts above.

Das Kitty

Roadtrippin wrote: »

I can't stand women who use crying as a weapon...

...It also makes some people wary on how truthful a woman is being when she is crying which is a shame if the woman is actually in tears and just needs some support.

I cry at the drop of a hat, but I could never cry on queue.

I've been accused of trying to manipulate an argument in the past because my eyes decided to spring a leak. (The fact that I was speaking perfectly plainly was ignored).

It's a physiological response, nothing more.

As for the original topic of the thread, I've never really felt I'd like to be 'a man'. I don't have problems with my period, I suppose that goes a long way. Some days I do feel more masculine than others though.

Madam_X

I hate that "x behaviour gives x group a bad name" stuff. No specific behaviour by members of a particular group, no matter how commonplace, should give OTHER people in that group a bad name. It doesn't even make sense, it's just lazy thinking.

clairefontaine

I'm not sure if crying is a woman's trait or a human trait that has been negated out of males very early in their lives.

cantdecide

Das Kitty wrote: »

I cry at the drop of a hat, but I could never cry on queue. I've been accused of trying to manipulate an argument in the past because my eyes decided to spring a leak. (The fact that I was speaking perfectly plainly was ignored). It's a physiological response, nothing more..

clairefontaine wrote: »

I'm not sure if crying is a woman's trait or a human trait that has been negated out of males very early in their lives.

If you believe that men and women generally have the same propensity to cry, they don't. I think there are different stresses that bring on crying in women where it just wouldn't occur or at least it would occur less in men. Or at least it would take a lot more stress to bring it out in an average man than an average woman.

It's very subjective and of course there are outside factors such as societal expectations but as far as I'm concerned it's just a physiological fact. I'm not an insensitive person (far from it) but as above, I don't believe that facts change because someone cries. If you've made a mistake at work, in your personal life or in any conflict situation, you shouldn't expect tears to prejudice proceedings on any side. That's not to say that if someone breaks down, they can't be allowed to try and compose themselves but it can't be used as a tactic for any party.

ongarboy

newmug wrote: »

I love being a man. I love the physical strength, the feeling of being invincible, knowing that you could be shot and still get up and kick the sh1t out of the fella who just shot you. I love being able to drive perfectly, instinctually judging speeds and positions and the size of your vehicle without being able to see it, and being able to do this fluently. Your car feels like an extension of you, another part of your body. I am so thankful for the fact that I can compartmentalise everything in life, mainly into sh1t that matters, and sh1t that doesnt. It cuts out a whole pile of stress and drama that women always seem to struggle with. I love the way I can talk to anybody, any stranger whatsoever, any age, any place, and be completely at ease talking to them. But its more about being at ease with yourself, than with the person you're talking to.

It wasn't always this way though. As a boy, most of those things weren't so. You have to learn how to be confident, how to compartmentalise, how to drive competantly. I suppose the only thing you cant "learn" is the physicality of being a man. But you're not a proper, real, fulfilled man until you have all those other things mastered.

Just returning to this post, seeing as the poster confirmed it wasn't a parody, I don't see how most of the attributes/pros you describe are particularly male attributes. The ability to be confident, skilled at compartmentalising the crap from the important stuff, being at ease with yourself etc are attributes of a well adjusted, positive and self confident person of which I can associated many women as being (in fact perhaps more women than men and I'm saying this as a man) but I still wouldn't link them as gender specific attributes but rather overall desirable human attributes.

The feeling of invincibility may be considered a male attribute but to me suggests naivety or worse, arrogance and therefore not a positive attribute at all. I'm sure the dozens of under 25 drivers who die on the roads each year felt they were invincible and which proved tragically was not the case.

As a guy, I admittedly feel I've endured a share of crap because I am a guy but I still prefer the fact that I'm a guy (primarily because I wouldn't be with the love of my life if I was a woman and secondly, but maybe more importantly, I'm for the most part comfortable in my own skin as a man right now which really is good enough for me). As others said, it is virtually impossible to be objective though as we cannot know what it's truly like to be the other gender unless we biologically are that gender.

aaabbbb

For the purposes of getting ready to go out , yes I wish I was a guy. Otherwise HELL NO!

Stheno

cantdecide wrote: »

If you believe that men and women generally have the same propensity to cry, they don't. I think there are different stresses that bring on crying in women where it just wouldn't occur or at least it would occur less in men. Or at least it would take a lot more stress to bring it out in an average man than an average woman.

It's very subjective and of course there are outside factors such as societal expectations but as far as I'm concerned it's just a physiological fact. I'm not an insensitive person (far from it) but as above, I don't believe that facts change because someone cries. If you've made a mistake at work, in your personal life or in any conflict situation, you shouldn't expect tears to prejudice proceedings on any side. That's not to say that if someone breaks down, they can't be allowed to try and compose themselves but it can't be used as a tactic for any party.

I'm not someone who is prone to tears, but the fact that someone is reduced to tears in a situation would always suggest to me that something is wrong, with the one exception if they were someone who turned on the tap and cried at will.

If I was dealing with someone in any situation male or female, and knew them for some time, and they were so upset that they cried, I would be extremely concerned. Basing this on the fact that most people can accept they have made a mistake and get through it but to break down in tears in front of colleagues/superiors is something I would consider an exceptional circumstance.

It did happen to me once when on a training course, I got a call that my dog had died unexpectedly and went to pieces, but that's a situation entirely different to discipline etc.

Galwayguy35

Some men just don't feel comfortable shedding tears in public, but that doesn't mean they never cry.

When our mother died I cried openly as I couldn't help it but my brother never shed a tear although he was just as cut up about it as I was and as we were standing side by side I could tell he was holding it in.

I felt embarrassed that I cried in public though as I kind of felt it showed I couldn't control my emotions and be strong. I felt it showed weakness.

We also never talked about it afterwards, which I think would have been different if it was 2 women.

clairefontaine

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Some men just don't feel comfortable shedding tears in public, but that doesn't mean they never cry.

When our mother died I cried openly as I couldn't help it but my brother never shed a tear although he was just as cut up about it as I was and as we were standing side by side I could tell he was holding it in.

I felt embarrassed that I cried in public though as I kind of felt it showed I couldn't control my emotions and be strong. I felt it showed weakness.

We also never talked about it afterwards, which I think would have been different if it was 2 women.

Women have had to learn to be more appropriate about expressing their feelings, for example in the workplace, but it's still taboo I think for males to express sadness. They get shamed into being strong soldiers, not talking about it and not crying. Sometimes it appears anger or outrage is the only feeling the culture permits for males.

There are studies that show this starts as early as infancy where mothers unconciounsly don't respond to their son's negative feelings as much as to their daughters so they learn to shut down. It's not that the mothers are to blame as such but they are caught in the same cultural double binds. Would have to dig that up, it was a long time ago that I came across it.

I would be embarrassed crying in public too, but I don't think that I'd feel as blackmailed by shame as I would if I were a guy.

On the other hand I know of two men, one as a child who learned how to fake cry to get his mother off his back [particularly nagging controlling mother] and another who uses it to gain sympathy when convenient, but I'd say those are very very rare examples.