Anyone else wish they were a man?

Ambersky

Poes law. I had to look that one up it is interesting
it seems.

The core of Poe's law is that a parody of something extreme by nature becomes impossible to differentiate from sincere extremism. A corollary of Poe's law is the reverse phenomenon: sincere fundamentalist beliefs being mistaken for a parody of that belief

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe%27s_Law

Newmug are you saying you were expressing your sincere fundamentalist beliefs , kind of like a masculinist version of religious fundamentalism sincerely held and Not parodying the thread.

Links234

me being me and all, kinda thought this thread was about something else entirely...

honestly? experiencing both sides of the coin, each side has their pluses and their minuses.

Ambersky

Thanks for that Links234
I was aware in this discussion that some of us have indeed experienced being women but have also experienced having been born with physical aspects of maleness.
Its a very interesting perspective to have and must give unique insights that many of the rest of us can only imagine.
I personally am a woman but I cant relate at all to what some other posters have refered to as part of their pleasure in being a woman. I feel like I am in drag wearing any make up at all. I can not imagine wearing heels except for a bet and none of that is part of my being a woman. I do much prefer mens clothing but the cut and style wont suit my body ( curvy).
Im looking for a bit of both genders style etc. It does raise issues about what femminity is, is that different than what it is to be female and what the real differences between the genders. I say that as someone who wants sometimes womens space and yet I have questions about what gender is all about.
I wouldnt want to be a man full time but I wouldnt mind having the experience of it for a while.
Actually physically having aspects of both genders dosent sound bad to me at all. I dont understand societys anxiety to make people fit into one gender or the other

Links234

Ambersky wrote: »

Thanks for that Links234
I was aware in this discussion that some of us have indeed experienced being women but have also experienced having been born with physical aspects of maleness.
Its a very interesting perspective to have and must give unique insights that many of the rest of us can only imagine.
I personally am a woman but I cant relate at all to what some other posters have refered to as part of their pleasure in being a woman. I feel like I am in drag wearing any make up at all. I can not imagine wearing heels except for a bet and none of that is part of my being a woman. I do much prefer mens clothing but the cut and style wont suit my body ( curvy).
Im looking for a bit of both genders style etc. It does raise issues about what femminity is, is that different than what it is to be female and what the real differences between the genders. I say that as someone who wants sometimes womens space and yet I have questions about what gender is all about.
I wouldnt want to be a man full time but I wouldnt mind having the experience of it for a while.
Actually physically having aspects of both genders dosent sound bad to me at all. I dont understand societys anxiety to make people fit into one gender or the other

you know, I think I've mentioned it on this forum before, but a seriously great read was Norah Vincent's book Self Made Man, where she spends a year living as a man and details how she was treated, how people talked to her and everything from that perspective. http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maqhagnHB91qbokf9o1_400.jpg

and I'd also kinda relate as well, I find that I don't really wear dresses or heels very often. I like jeans and tshirts most of the time, I don't wear jewelry but I've got quite a few facial piercings, I rarely wear makeup, and even then it's just a bit of eyeliner. the last time I wore a dress was at christmas, and that was really just for my mum's sake

I find it very odd sometimes that people seem to insist that not only should I dress more feminine, I should want to dress more feminine. I feel like I've escaped one box, and I don't want to be put back in another. that would just be pointless to me. people should be able to express all aspects of themselves, and not have to fit into separate and mutually exclusive boxes of masculine and feminine.

Madam_X

Never did. And apparently the clitoris yields more pleasure than the penis, so... that's that. :pac:

Nah, I've never wished I was a man because I don't know what it's like to be a man and I enjoy being a woman. Although I'm sure it's grand most of the time but not without its pitfalls, especially the already mentioned situation of being at risk of getting the crap beat out of you, which really does suck.
What the hell was that thing someone said about how a man could be shot and get back up and kick the **** out of the shooter...?

newmug

Madam_X wrote: »

Never did. And apparently the clitoris yields more pleasure than the penis, so... that's that. :pac:

Nah, I've never wished I was a man because I don't know what it's like to be a man and I enjoy being a woman. Although I'm sure it's grand most of the time but not without its pitfalls, especially the already mentioned situation of being at risk of getting the crap beat out of you, which really does suck.
What the hell was that thing someone said about how a man could be shot and get back up and kick the **** out of the shooter...?

No I meant it feels like you can. Nevermind.

Lux23

Not really, I can't even begin to imagine what it would like to be a man. I think in many ways men have it a lot harder then women.

GalwayGuy2

I think if there was some magical injection that could make a man into a woman, vice versa, for a week or two, everybody would take it. Not to get crude, but don't woman have more intense orgasms?

But anyway, life as a man isn't really rosey:P

I'm always paranoid that I'll come across as aggressive, or people might think I have an abusive personality (which I don't), and there is a huge difference in a woman being aggressive, and a man being aggressive.

And, it's hard for a man to really interact with children that aren't, or even are, his own. I remember once I was doing some charity stuff and there was a man and his toddler (7?) daughter walking and she was copying the way he was walking with his hands in his pockets in a way that reminded me of a friend's daughter. So, I smiled at her and I swear to god he, wearing sun-glasses, glanced at me and pulled her closer.
And also, you can't really show large amounts of affection to your children in public, because a small minority will not see it as "suspicious".

Also, as a flip side to what women feel, your slightly, in some articles, described as a potential abuser.

And while there's that whole men are awesome if they sleep around, and women are still less so, it's really more male vanilla sexuality celebrated. If, ahem, a man's prostate was stimulated he'd get absolutely destroyed by both men and female (in a bit of homophobia that isn't homophobia because he isn't gay).

And while it's getting better to be a man and vain, if your not actually gay, it's not really tolerated XD

rannerap

I would like to try being a man for a bit but ultimately I love being a girl and everything that goes with it. Pregnancy though it both a con and a pro for me. I think its amazing I can create a whole new person. But I'm really not looking forward to the pain involved! I think both genders have it hard in different ways, so I dont think its easier being one or the other

Lunni

castaway_lady wrote: »

Is it just me or do any other ladies on here wish they had been born with a penis instead of stupid ovaries :rolleyes:
Booked a thousand quids worth of a holiday last month, having factored in period dates as best I could with the assistance of my trusty app and now the scourge has migrated by a few days and is due if it stays on this path mid way through the holiday :mad: :mad: :mad: Actually may as well stay at home now.

So anyone know how to induce instant menopause? Really fit to bawl now.

I really don't see what the issue is. It's a period. Take some tampons. If it's that it's painful or you want to have sex, there are dozens of types of medication/contraception that will stop your periods completely. Why might you as well stay at home over a period?

jaffacakesyum

Lunni wrote: »

I really don't see what the issue is. It's a period. Take some tampons. If it's that it's painful or you want to have sex, there are dozens of types of medication/contraception that will stop your periods completely. Why might you as well stay at home over a period?

Not everybody wants to go on medications which have side effects and possible health complications with long term use.

Not everybody can afford medications.

Lunni

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Not everybody wants to go on medications which have side effects and possible health complications with long term use.

Not everybody can afford medications.

Grand, but then why complain about periods? They are things you can do if you really want to.

And if you can afford a holiday, I'm pretty sure you can afford the pill or a contraceptive injection.

jaffacakesyum

Lunni wrote: »

Grand, but then why complain about periods? They are things you can do if you really want to.

And if you can afford a holiday, I'm pretty sure you can afford the pill or a contraceptive injection.

Why complain about periods? Cos they suck balls. I don't think I have the worst of them compared to some women but I do get cramps, low moods etc. I don't want to go on any medications long term unless absolutely necessary and I can't afford them anyway so I put up with periods and don't complain. But I wouldn't give out to others who complain. There are far less stuff people moan about day to day than periods. It's a valid thing to be annoyed about to be fair, if you suffer from its bad effects.

baby and crumble

I just realised I never replied to this thread!

It's weird for me to answer this question because recently I have begun to identify much more strongly with my masculinity. I suppose I would regard myself as a butch lesbian, but even that is a bit too strong a word.

What's weird is I love being a woman. I would not want to be a man. I love having breasts, and feminine facial features, and all those physical aspects of being a woman. But I don't often relate to a lot of stereotypical female behaviour. As in, I don't wear make up, I don't wear female clothing, and I certainly don't dress to emphasise my femininity.

Many of my personality traits are more stereotypically female (I am empathetic, work in the caring sector, cook, bake, sew, etc.) but much of my behaviour could be classed as masculine- I have a typical guy haircut, I open doors, pull out seats, give my gf my jacket walking home, all that sort of stuff.

The more easy I become with that masculine side of myself, and in truth the older I get the less I care about what other people think of me, the happier I am. I got quite nervous about people's reactions when I started wearing ties and tailored menswear and all that stuff but in all honesty all I got, even from strangers, were compliments. I think because allowing myself to explore the masculine side if my feminine being gave me confidence and allowed me to really be myself.

Also because I'm so much better with menswear than womenswear!!! :cool:

I suppose what I'm trying to say, in a ridiculously long winded way is that I think we all have masculine and feminine energies, and just because you are one gender doesn't mean all your energy or interests or outward presentation matches that. And that that's ok. I love that I'm a masculinely presenting female. I am both those things.

And actually, perhaps because of that presentation, I generally don't feel the same vulnerability that other women my age report. Which in a way is kind of interesting.

Da Shins Kelly

There are aspects of being a woman that I really enjoy. I like the female form, I like having curves and long hair. People complain about it a lot, but I like the fact that women can be emotional and perhaps a little dramatic. I don't think there's anything wrong with being emotionally honest and open, which I find a lot of women are. I think it's a rather nice thing. The drama can be quite amusing sometimes too! I enjoy the solidarity between a lot of women (women I know anyway). I find they tend to be quite supportive of each other in many different ways. Despite the fact that women tend to be sometimes underestimated or perhaps thought of as inferior, I think there's amazing empowerment in being the givers of life, although it's not something I want to concern myself with just yet!

On the flip side, I don't always relate that well to other women on topics such as make-up or fashion. I very rarely wear make-up, and my choices in fashion tend to be more along the lines of woolly jumpers, floral summer dresses, Doc Martens and things like that as opposed to my friends who love all kinds of make-up, party dresses and high heels, and could spend hours just getting ready for a night out. It's fun to sit in the room with them when they're all getting ready though. I just begin getting drunk earlier than them and play DJ.

So, in short, no, I've never wished I were a man.

cantdecide

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

...my friends who love all kinds of make-up, party dresses and high heels, and could spend hours just getting ready for a night out. It's fun to sit in the room with them when they're all getting ready though...

Do you think they see themselves as more feminine than you because you don't go through the rigmarole they do?

Da Shins Kelly

cantdecide wrote: »

Do you think they see themselves as more feminine than you because you don't go through the rigmarole they do?

I think so, probably. I mean they refer to themselves as "girly". I'm not sure that I'd refer to myself as that and I've never heard any of them describe me as that, but I still think that I'm feminine. Just not in a 'dressy-up' kinda way. I'm not sure that girly completely equates femininity anyway. I think there are all kinds of ways to express your femininity.

castaway_lady

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Why complain about periods? Cos they suck balls. I don't think I have the worst of them compared to some women but I do get cramps, low moods etc. I don't want to go on any medications long term unless absolutely necessary and I can't afford them anyway so I put up with periods and don't complain. But I wouldn't give out to others who complain. There are far less stuff people moan about day to day than periods. It's a valid thing to be annoyed about to be fair, if you suffer from its bad effects.

They "suck balls" is right! Tampons don't cure bloating, headaches, feeling miserable, increased body temperature. Who feels like being in their bikini during a stupid period :mad:

Roadtrippin

Short answer: yes. I remember distinctly what I said to my mum the day I got my PITA (period)... Why do girls have to go through this? I wish I was a boy!!!
My mum's answer: 'Get over yourself. Millions of women deal with this everyday and they are fine. And unlike men you can have children one day because of it'
That shut me up quickly enough.

I do have moments where I think men have it easier (generally when I get my monthly moodiness and cramps etc.) but I also don't want to swap with them in some situations.
I like dressing up etc. and I like that society is more accepting of women being emotional sometimes etc. If a guy cries he doesn't necessarily get a whole lot of support from his mates. I reckon guys sometimes have less emotional support of their friends to help them through tough times in the way girls do.
At work I believe guys have it easier. They are still to this day more likely to become managers than women are, depending on the company and context.

Eve_Dublin

I give private classes to a woman here (she's 38) and she told me the last day she cries sometimes to get what she wants. She calls it, "using her femininity". I couldn't believe it. Do some women genuinely do this? I like her though, mainly because I'm excited to hear what she'll come out next.

Wibbs

Yep I've known a couple of women who did this. They were rare enough though and easy to spot after a while.

cantdecide

Wibbs wrote: »

Yep I've known a couple of women who did this. They were rare enough though and easy to spot after a while.

I wouldn't have a bar of it tbh but I'd imagine it often works for a lot of those who try it. We had a salesperson in the past who was, without doubt, one of the most strident women I've ever met. She would steam-roll everything and everyone before her but catch her on a mistake (or one of her occasional lies, actually) and you find yourself in the middle of totally insincere blub-a-thon that our boss would always fall for hook, line and sinker. Not cool, IMO.

Roadtrippin

Wibbs wrote: »

Yep I've known a couple of women who did this. They were rare enough though and easy to spot after a while.

I can't stand women who use crying as a weapon... It's despicable and gives the rest of us women a bad name. It also makes some people wary on how truthful a woman is being when she is crying which is a shame if the woman is actually in tears and just needs some support.
I judge any manipulative behaviour like this, whether by men or women.

clairefontaine

Short answer is no.

OP, while your period is a nuisance and can cause women anything from minor discomfort to major pain and psychosis, the scale is far and wide on that score, at least you won't be shamed into sucking it up for the duration and for the rest of the year, at least you can weep or complain or talk to someone without being called a wuss or a wimp and not be forced to disconnect into an abyss of unspeakable depression and spend the rest of your life proving through various acts of bravado that you are not in fact a woman.

You don't really wish you were a man. You wish you didn't have your period, you wish you were menopausal, and yes I can kind of relate to that.

Eve_Dublin

Roadtrippin wrote: »

I can't stand women who use crying as a weapon... It's despicable and gives the rest of us women a bad name. It also makes some people wary on how truthful a woman is being when she is crying which is a shame if the woman is actually in tears and just needs some support.
I judge any manipulative behaviour like this, whether by men or women.

With all due respect, it doesn't give us a bad name or at least it shouldn't. I won't take the blame for women like this. It suggests to me that those women are emotionally unstable and most women don't fit into that category.

Roadtrippin

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

With all due respect, it doesn't give us a bad name or at least it shouldn't. I won't take the blame for women like this. It suggests to me that those women are emotionally unstable and most women don't fit into that category.

With all due respect, unfortunately it does to some. And yes, often these women are unstable but not always. Some women use it consciously as a means to an end, to get what they want.

Eve_Dublin

Roadtrippin wrote: »

With all due respect, unfortunately it does to some. And yes, often these women are unstable but not always. Some women use it consciously as a means to an end, to get what they want.

Some women do many things but I don't see why it should give all of us a bad name? She's probably the second woman I've met who does this.

The Corinthian

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

With all due respect, it doesn't give us a bad name or at least it shouldn't. I won't take the blame for women like this.

It shouldn't, but these things do; just as a tiny number of male paedophiles have meant that it has become increasingly difficult for men to interact with children.

I won't take the blame for men like that either, but it doesn't change the fact that many will have formed prejudices against me, as a man, based upon men like that.

So, it's not surprising that women will fall foul of such minorities too.

It suggests to me that those women are emotionally unstable and most women don't fit into that category.

Possibly. Let's be honest; it's not unusual for women to exploit the 'damsel in distress' tactic to elicit help from men to do things such as lifting luggage, getting money for a taxi, and so on, even if it doesn't go as far as tears.

Going as far as tears to getting what you want is more extreme and could nowadays be seen as a sign of emotional problems, but you'd be surprised how many will still resort to this tactic in places like court, even if under normal circumstances they'd share your disdain of the practice.

cantdecide

Roadtrippin wrote: »

With all due respect, unfortunately it does to some. And yes, often these women are unstable but not always. Some women use it consciously as a means to an end, to get what they want.

As a man, I don't think anyone is tarring all women with the same brush over this.

Eve_Dublin

cantdecide wrote: »

As a man, I don't think anyone is tarring all women with the same brush over this.

It's not something I've ever heard of among adult women. I told the story because I thought it was unusual coming from a grown up women. I didn't think, "Not another woman at this!!".