"Victims" of flashers

BhoscaCapall

So I was watching The Office (as credible a source as any) and one of the female characters got 'flashed', and the other characters were comforting her as if she was really upset and stuff.

Yes it's a comedy but I've seen the same sort of attitude irl (no not involving me) and in news reports etc.

What's so bad about it? I mean obviously you can't go slinging your tadger in people's faces but surely 99% of stable, reasonable females* would just laugh and/or think "wow what a feckin weirdo!" and it would go no further than a funny story to tell the girls over a Westcoast Cooler**.

*Apologies for oxymoron
*I'm aware men and animals can also be victims but in most/all cases I'm referring to it's a woman.
**Other beverages available

keith16

It's more than just weird. It's creepy. I say this from experience*.



*As a flasher, not a flashee

Sunnyisland

Its a sexual perverted thing to be doing with the flasher getting the sexual thrill from it not the unfortunate victim.

BhoscaCapall

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

So I was watching The Office (as credible a source as any) and one of the female characters got 'flashed', and the other characters were comforting her as if she was really upset and stuff.

Yes it's a comedy but I've seen the same sort of attitude irl (no not involving me) and in news reports etc.

What's so bad about it? I mean obviously you can't go slinging your tadger in people's faces but surely 99% of stable, reasonable females* would just laugh and/or think "wow what a feckin weirdo!" and it would go no further than a funny story to tell the girls over a Westcoast Cooler**.

*Apologies for oxymoron
*I'm aware men and animals can also be victims but in most/all cases I'm referring to it's a woman.
**Other beverages available

I was flashed more than once, but one time it was when I was walking down a railway platform. It was dark, I was alone and a man hissed 'look at that!' to me and I reflexively looked.

I was terrified. He was a big man, I'm a small girl, it was dark and I was alone. I was wearing heels so I wasn't going to be running fast. I didn't know if he got off at scaring me, or if he was going to overpower me and make very bad things happen.

It was one of the most frightening and upsetting things I've ever experienced and it took me weeks to feel safe leaving the house in the middle of the day, never mind just going about my business at night.

Nobody, but nobody, has the right to make someone feel unsafe or threatened. Nobody, but nobody, has the right to put their bit of fun and thrill of getting their dick out, before my right to go about my business unafraid.


Nobody has the right to tell me that I shouldn't be upset about it.

Dolbert

Maybe because unwanted sexually threatening behaviour is for most people very unsettling and upsetting? Have you any idea how many women you know have been sexually assaulted in their lifetimes? Hint: It's more than you think.

Collie D

Funnily enough I was flashed a couple of weeks ago. Told the guy to do one and laughed it off afterwards. BUT this happened in a busy pub and I was with friends. I'm male by the way. I'm sure a girl on her own on a dark street would be much more intimidated (sorry if that sounds patronising). How could she know whether the guy is just going to wave the willy around or is a potential rapist?

syklops

How does the "victim" know that it is "just" a flasher, and that the perpetrator is not getting ready to rape them?

If the tables were turned and a random woman exposed herself at me, it would very much be a WTF moment as opposed to a bit of a laugh or a story to tell.

.Henry Sellers.

Flashing has it's good points too, I know a guy who had a willy flashed in his face, he and the willy both made eye contact and the rest as they say is history.......

miamee

Well presumably when it happens you are singled out as the lucky viewer of his wobbly bits with nobody else nearby. You don't know this man, you don't know what he is capable of and he is clearly not 'right' so I'd say most people would get a fright. I'm sure it's not so much the sight of a willy but the potential that the incident could easily have escalated to something more sinister like a sexual assault or rape.

BhoscaCapall

Candie wrote: »

Nobody has the right to tell me that I shouldn't be upset about it.

Ok chill out, I wasn't telling you to feel anything :rolleyes:

Obviously if some massive scary blokes flashes you in a dark secluded place you are going to feel intimidated. But many women would feel intimidated if the same bloke simply made advances on her without breaking any laws. I would feel intimidated if I was on a dark train platform with a few rough looking people, flashing or not.

Thanks for the extreme example though. Always helps :rolleyes:

Sunnyisland

.Henry Sellers. wrote: »

Flashing has it's good points too, I know a guy who had a willy flashed in his face, he and the willy both made eye contact and the rest as they say is history.......

Sound like two pricks to me

Intensive Care Bear

I was flashed by a Paedo when i was a child, i just laughed it off at the time.

Scanlas The 2nd

realies wrote: »

Its a sexual perverted thing to be doing with the flasher getting the sexual thrill from it not the unfortunate victim.

Generalisation.

Sunnyisland

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Generalisation.

How is it a generalization ?

syklops

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Thanks for the extreme example though.

Extreme? She gave you an anecdote from her life on the very subject YOU opened a thread on. If you don't like people having different opinions to you don't open threads in AH.

Always helps :rolleyes:

I see your :rolleyes: and raise you a :rolleyes:

Scanlas The 2nd

realies wrote: »

How is it a generalization ?

You generalised that flashers get a sexual thrill from flashing. How do you know that all flashers get a sexual thrill from it. The could of a number of reasons they do it.

senorwipesalot

A weirdo neighbour of mine jumped out of a ditch with his lad hanging out at two women out for a stroll.
Turned out the women both guards wives.
Fcukin eejit.

BhoscaCapall

syklops wrote: »

Extreme? She gave you an anecdote from her life on the very subject YOU opened a thread on..

I wasn't asking why a woman might feel intimidated if a big burly man hissed at her on a dark quiet platform, although I appreciate the insight and will surely remember it if I ever do wonder that in future.

BhoscaCapall

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Ok chill out, I wasn't telling you to feel anything :rolleyes:

Really?

It sounded like you thought it was funny and anyone upset over it was unstable or unreasonable. Maybe I misunderstood this part:

What's so bad about it? I mean obviously you can't go slinging your tadger in people's faces but surely 99% of stable, reasonable females* would just laugh and/or think "wow what a feckin weirdo!" and it would go no further than a funny story to tell the girls over a Westcoast Cooler**.

Can you give me a harmless example of a flashing that would make a funny anecdote for those West Coast Coolers with the girls?

Oh, and here :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Scanlas The 2nd

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

You generalised that flashers get a sexual thrill from flashing. How do you know that all flashers get a sexual thrill from it. The could of a number of reasons they do it.

Break out a few theories there for us.

AnonoBoy

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

I wasn't asking why a woman might feel intimidated if a big burly man hissed at her on a dark quiet platform, although I appreciate the insight and will surely remember it if I ever do wonder that in future.

So you only want to talk about special select examples of flashing that you feel are harmless and if someone gives an example of flashing that clearly isn't harmless you're going to get all antsy with them and start throwing out the rolleyes?

Well played sunshine. Well played indeed.

Fr_Dougal

We're all gods children, we all have bits and bobs. Flashing is wrong though, bit of streaking is OK.

Mammanabammana

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Ok chill out, I wasn't telling you to feel anything :rolleyes:

...

Thanks for the extreme example though. Always helps :rolleyes:

Being condescending and dismissive of somebody else's heartfelt recounting of an unnerving and frightening experience also "always helps" (I'll leave out the rolleyes smiley for now).

Also, what makes you think it's an extreme example?

BhoscaCapall

Candie wrote: »

Really? It sounded like you thought it was funny and anyone upset over it was unstable or unreasonable. Maybe I misunderstood this part:

Yes I think you misunderstood this symbol: ? it usually denotes a question and it meant I was asking a question, rather than instructing anyone as to what they should think.

Can you give me a harmless example of a flashing that would make a funny anecdote for those West Coast Coolers with the girls?

How about a small man (in all senses) wearing a clown costume and shouting 'ta-da!' as he whips his pants off and then skipping off down the road?
Or, you know, just one that doesn't involve big scary men and dark scary places.

Oh, and here :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Thanks but whatever effect you hoped to achieve there was diminished by the fact I don't get wound up over smilies.

Mammanabammana

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

I wasn't asking why a woman might feel intimidated if a big burly man hissed at her on a dark quiet platform, although I appreciate the insight and will surely remember it if I ever do wonder that in future.

Ah ok. I made the mistake of taking you seriously there earlier on. Obvious troll is obvious.

syklops

Candie wrote: »

Break out a few theories there for us.

1. Sexual gratification
2. Just for the laugh
3. ?????
4. Profit? <- wishful thinking perhaps.

Otherwise I got none.

Scanlas The 2nd

Candie wrote: »

Break out a few theories there for us.

Can you actually not think of another reason why someone would flash? Try using your imagination.

BhoscaCapall

Mammanabammana wrote: »

Ah ok. I made the mistake of taking you seriously there earlier on. Obvious troll is obvious.

Evidently not that obvious then...

Mammanabammana

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

How about a small man (in all senses) wearing a clown costume and shouting 'ta-da!' as he whips his pants off and then skipping off down the road?
Or, you know, just one that doesn't involve big scary men and dark scary places.

QED.

gg2

I was flashed walking home from school one day with a friend, we were about 14. Still feel sick thinking about it. He just whipped it out, 2 of us screamed and he ran off. Still see the guy about town regularly and **** myself because I think he's gonna do it again!

BhoscaCapall

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Yes I think you misunderstood this symbol: ? it usually denotes a question and it meant I was asking a question, rather than instructing anyone as to what they should think.


How about a small man (in all senses) wearing a clown costume and shouting 'ta-da!' as he whips his pants off and then skipping off down the road?
Or, you know, just one that doesn't involve big scary men and dark scary places.


Thanks but whatever effect you hoped to achieve there was diminished by the fact I don't get wound up over smilies.

I understand you perfectly.

Could you not have worked it out for yourself, OP? Some people really are so blind to the realities of the world and so lacking in empathy.

Sunnyisland

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

You generalised that flashers get a sexual thrill from flashing. How do you know that all flashers get a sexual thrill from it. The could of a number of reasons they do it.

Imo its a form of Indecent exposure and its not done for the benefit of the victim,just for the pleasure of the flasher,mostly to women or young children and mostly by men.Now give me a few reasons why they might flash.

syklops

gg2 wrote: »

I was flashed walking home from school one day with a friend, we were about 14. Still feel sick thinking about it. He just whipped it out, 2 of us screamed and he ran off. Still see the guy about town regularly and **** myself because I think he's gonna do it again!

If he does do it again, give him a swift kick to the goolies(he wont be expecting that!), and report him to the gardai.

Scanlas The 2nd

realies wrote: »

Imo its a form of Indecent exposure and its not done for the benefit of the victim,just for the pleasure of the flasher,mostly to women or young children and mostly by men.Now give me a few reasons why they might flash.

Do you think a flasher would only do it for sexual reasons?

BhoscaCapall

Ernesto Dry Stock-still wrote: »

Could you not have worked it out for yourself, OP? Some people really are so blind to the realities of the world and so lacking in empathy.

I'm empathic as f**k so there. I guess I just won't know until it happens, but at least when it does and I'm scared to leave the house in daylight for years or whatever, I'll be able to appreciate the emotional learning experience of it all.

The closest I think I've come to it is having burly gay bears come onto me, although again I just found it amusing.

syklops wrote: »

If he does do it again, give him a swift kick to the goolies(he wont be expecting that!), and report him to the gardai.

Oh you're an advocate of anti-male violence. Who would have guessed...

gg2

syklops wrote: »

If he does do it again, give him a swift kick to the goolies(he wont be expecting that!), and report him to the gardai.

We actually did report it. The guards came to my friends house, I warned her not to sent them to mine as my mam would totally over react and being 14 I was so so embarrassed about it... Can't remember now if anything ever came out of it

jill_valentine

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

You generalised that flashers get a sexual thrill from flashing. How do you know that all flashers get a sexual thrill from it. The could of a number of reasons they do it.

With the exception of sports streakers or lads on a drunken bet or something, that actually is usually the motivation for it. Flashers generally single out women on their own for that purpose, for the thrill of imposing on somebody else's peace of mind. It's weird and intimidating because it's meant to be weird and intimidating, that's what they get out of it.

http://walking.about.com/od/medfirstaid/a/exhibitionists.htm

"A flasher/exhibitionist is someone who is getting naked in a public place where people who are not consenting to seeing them can see them. Some flashers/exhibitionists get aroused by this, others find that the behavior reduces anxiety or gives them a sense of control. But the key is being seen in a way that they aren't supposed to be."

It's also worth pointing out that flashers aren't usually just flashers. It's a power thing, and when the novelty of that wears off, behaviour can escalate:

"It is a big mistake to dismiss flashing as a nuisance. Some flashers -- whether or not they suffer from exhibitionism -- also engage in other bad behavior, up to and including sexual assault. Some may start by flashing and then escalate to coercive acts such as rape."

Flashers are rarely the kind of guys you hear about on the news and think "Gosh, and they always seemed so normal". It's a behaviour associated with other bad behaviours, all related to intruding on other people's spheres for the kick of control.

I would not consider some drunken college bro mooning out a bus a flasher, for the record. To my mind, a flasher is a specific kind of creep with a particular recurring compulsion, and I think most women would think of that kind of person when they heard the word.

Where To

OP, Carry On films are not real life.

Collie D

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Oh you're an advocate of anti-male violence. Who would have guessed...

Ridiculous thing to say. If somebody flashes you I think a good swift kick in the nuts is an appropriate response.

BhoscaCapall

Collie D wrote: »

Ridiculous thing to say. If somebody flashes you I think a good swift kick in the nuts is an appropriate response.

I'm sorry but I can't bring myself to debate with anyone who advocates violence. Grow up and come back when you take a more mature approach to things please.

Sunnyisland

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Generalisation.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Can you actually not think of another reason why someone would flash? Try using your imagination.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Do you think a flasher would only do it for sexual reasons?

You can give your own opinions instead of this cloak & dagger posts.

When my mum was growing up, there was seemingly this guy that would regularly flash people. He would apparently be wearing a long jacket with a pair of pants. When he opened his jacket, it turned out that the pants legs only went up to perhaps his knees, but the rest of him was absolutely butt naked.

Scanlas The 2nd

jill_valentine wrote: »

With the exception of sports streakers or lads on a drunken bet or something, that actually is usually the motivation for it. Flashers generally single out women on their own for that purpose, for the thrill of imposing on somebody else's peace of mind. It's weird and intimidating because it's meant to be weird and intimidating, that's what they get out of it.

http://walking.about.com/od/medfirstaid/a/exhibitionists.htm



It's also worth pointing out that flashers aren't usually just flashers. It's a power thing, and when the novelty of that wears off, behaviour can escalate:



They aren't usually the kind of guys you hear about on the news and think "Gosh, and they always seemed so normal. It's a behaviour associated with other bad behaviours, all related to intruding on other people's peace of mind for the kick of control.

A flasher could do it for a number of reasons. It could be for sexual pleasure, as a result of a bet, as a result of a dare, because they find it funny or amusing or it could, to impress friends, because they are insane or mentally disabled or because they want to get a reaction or are curious what the flashee's reaction would be.

liquoriceall

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

I'm empathic as f**k so there. I guess I just won't know until it happens, but at least when it does and I'm scared to leave the house in daylight for years or whatever, I'll be able to appreciate the emotional learning experience of it all.

The closest I think I've come to it is having burly gay bears come onto me, although again I just found it amusing.


Oh you're an advocate of anti-male violence. Who would have guessed...

I fail to see how you can compare a man coming onto you to being flashed?? Seriously? Do you really feel that they equate

BhoscaCapall

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Having someone hit on you isn't even close to being flashed.

Depends how romantic they are

BhoscaCapall

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

I'm empathic as f**k so there. I guess I just won't know until it happens, but at least when it does and I'm scared to leave the house in daylight for years or whatever, I'll be able to appreciate the emotional learning experience of it all.

I assume this is directed at me.

I'm very sorry I couldn't confirm your impression that flashing is a harmless pastime that is needlessly blown out of all proportion by emotional women. Its a shame you feel the need to be so hostile towards my post, but I can cope with that.

There are websites where you can discuss these matters with people of the same opinion, should you seek them out.

Red Hand

Deleted User wrote: »

When my mum was growing up, there was seemingly this guy that would regularly flash people. He would apparently be wearing a long jacket with a pair of pants. When he opened his jacket, it turned out that the pants legs only went up to perhaps his knees, but the rest of him was absolutely butt naked.

How did they stay up?

Collie D

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

I'm sorry but I can't bring myself to debate with anyone who advocates violence. Grow up and come back when you take a more mature approach to things please.

Coming from someone who sees flashing as a bit of harmless fun I'll take your opinion with a pinch of salt. Kicking a sex offender in the act (and flashing is a sexual offence) in the balls is hardly "advocating violence".

BhoscaCapall

Candie wrote: »

I assume this is directed at me.

Funnily enough Ms Drama Queen, not everything is about you.

My post was, surprisingly, directed at the person I quoted. In my post.

BhoscaCapall

Collie D wrote: »

Coming from someone who sees flashing as a bit of harmless fun I'll take your opinion with a pinch of salt. Kicking a sex offender in the act (and flashing is a sexual offence) in the balls is hardly "advocating violence".

I'm sorry but you can't operate a society where it's okay to just go around booting people in the bollocks every time they commit a crime. Would you kick an old lady in the fanny if you caught her listening to a song on Youtube that wasn't covered by the Creative Commons license? Probably not because I suspect you are mad for double-standards.