"Victims" of flashers

BhoscaCapall · 16-12-2012 07:22PM #1

So I was watching The Office (as credible a source as any) and one of the female characters got 'flashed', and the other characters were comforting her as if she was really upset and stuff.

Yes it's a comedy but I've seen the same sort of attitude irl (no not involving me) and in news reports etc.

What's so bad about it? I mean obviously you can't go slinging your tadger in people's faces but surely 99% of stable, reasonable females* would just laugh and/or think "wow what a feckin weirdo!" and it would go no further than a funny story to tell the girls over a Westcoast Cooler**.

*Apologies for oxymoron
*I'm aware men and animals can also be victims but in most/all cases I'm referring to it's a woman.
**Other beverages available

keith16 · 16-12-2012 07:26PM

It's more than just weird. It's creepy. I say this from experience*.

*As a flasher, not a flashee

Sunnyisland · 16-12-2012 07:29PM

Its a sexual perverted thing to be doing with the flasher getting the sexual thrill from it not the unfortunate victim.

16-12-2012 07:29PM

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

So I was watching The Office (as credible a source as any) and one of the female characters got 'flashed', and the other characters were comforting her as if she was really upset and stuff.

Yes it's a comedy but I've seen the same sort of attitude irl (no not involving me) and in news reports etc.

What's so bad about it? I mean obviously you can't go slinging your tadger in people's faces but surely 99% of stable, reasonable females* would just laugh and/or think "wow what a feckin weirdo!" and it would go no further than a funny story to tell the girls over a Westcoast Cooler**.

*Apologies for oxymoron
*I'm aware men and animals can also be victims but in most/all cases I'm referring to it's a woman.
**Other beverages available

I was flashed more than once, but one time it was when I was walking down a railway platform. It was dark, I was alone and a man hissed 'look at that!' to me and I reflexively looked.

I was terrified. He was a big man, I'm a small girl, it was dark and I was alone. I was wearing heels so I wasn't going to be running fast. I didn't know if he got off at scaring me, or if he was going to overpower me and make very bad things happen.

It was one of the most frightening and upsetting things I've ever experienced and it took me weeks to feel safe leaving the house in the middle of the day, never mind just going about my business at night.

Nobody, but nobody, has the right to make someone feel unsafe or threatened. Nobody, but nobody, has the right to put their bit of fun and thrill of getting their dick out, before my right to go about my business unafraid.

Nobody has the right to tell me that I shouldn't be upset about it.

Dolbert · 16-12-2012 07:32PM

Maybe because unwanted sexually threatening behaviour is for most people very unsettling and upsetting? Have you any idea how many women you know have been sexually assaulted in their lifetimes? Hint: It's more than you think.

Collie D · 16-12-2012 07:32PM

Funnily enough I was flashed a couple of weeks ago. Told the guy to do one and laughed it off afterwards. BUT this happened in a busy pub and I was with friends. I'm male by the way. I'm sure a girl on her own on a dark street would be much more intimidated (sorry if that sounds patronising). How could she know whether the guy is just going to wave the willy around or is a potential rapist?

syklops · 16-12-2012 07:33PM

How does the "victim" know that it is "just" a flasher, and that the perpetrator is not getting ready to rape them?

If the tables were turned and a random woman exposed herself at me, it would very much be a WTF moment as opposed to a bit of a laugh or a story to tell.

.Henry Sellers. · 16-12-2012 07:33PM

Flashing has it's good points too, I know a guy who had a willy flashed in his face, he and the willy both made eye contact and the rest as they say is history.......

miamee · 16-12-2012 07:34PM

Well presumably when it happens you are singled out as the lucky viewer of his wobbly bits with nobody else nearby. You don't know this man, you don't know what he is capable of and he is clearly not 'right' so I'd say most people would get a fright. I'm sure it's not so much the sight of a willy but the potential that the incident could easily have escalated to something more sinister like a sexual assault or rape.

BhoscaCapall · 16-12-2012 07:35PM

Candie wrote: »

Nobody has the right to tell me that I shouldn't be upset about it.

Ok chill out, I wasn't telling you to feel anything :rolleyes:

Obviously if some massive scary blokes flashes you in a dark secluded place you are going to feel intimidated. But many women would feel intimidated if the same bloke simply made advances on her without breaking any laws. I would feel intimidated if I was on a dark train platform with a few rough looking people, flashing or not.

Thanks for the extreme example though. Always helps :rolleyes:

Sunnyisland · 16-12-2012 07:35PM

.Henry Sellers. wrote: »

Flashing has it's good points too, I know a guy who had a willy flashed in his face, he and the willy both made eye contact and the rest as they say is history.......

Sound like two pricks to me

Intensive Care Bear · 16-12-2012 07:36PM

I was flashed by a Paedo when i was a child, i just laughed it off at the time.

Scanlas The 2nd · 16-12-2012 07:37PM

realies wrote: »

Its a sexual perverted thing to be doing with the flasher getting the sexual thrill from it not the unfortunate victim.

Generalisation.

Sunnyisland · 16-12-2012 07:38PM

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Generalisation.

How is it a generalization ?

syklops · 16-12-2012 07:39PM

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Thanks for the extreme example though.

Extreme? She gave you an anecdote from her life on the very subject YOU opened a thread on. If you don't like people having different opinions to you don't open threads in AH.

Always helps :rolleyes:

I see your :rolleyes: and raise you a :rolleyes:

Scanlas The 2nd · 16-12-2012 07:41PM

realies wrote: »

How is it a generalization ?

You generalised that flashers get a sexual thrill from flashing. How do you know that all flashers get a sexual thrill from it. The could of a number of reasons they do it.

senorwipesalot · 16-12-2012 07:41PM

A weirdo neighbour of mine jumped out of a ditch with his lad hanging out at two women out for a stroll.
Turned out the women both guards wives.
Fcukin eejit.

BhoscaCapall · 16-12-2012 07:41PM

syklops wrote: »

Extreme? She gave you an anecdote from her life on the very subject YOU opened a thread on..

I wasn't asking why a woman might feel intimidated if a big burly man hissed at her on a dark quiet platform, although I appreciate the insight and will surely remember it if I ever do wonder that in future.

16-12-2012 07:42PM

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Ok chill out, I wasn't telling you to feel anything :rolleyes:

Really?

It sounded like you thought it was funny and anyone upset over it was unstable or unreasonable. Maybe I misunderstood this part:

What's so bad about it? I mean obviously you can't go slinging your tadger in people's faces but surely 99% of stable, reasonable females* would just laugh and/or think "wow what a feckin weirdo!" and it would go no further than a funny story to tell the girls over a Westcoast Cooler**.

Can you give me a harmless example of a flashing that would make a funny anecdote for those West Coast Coolers with the girls?

Oh, and here :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

16-12-2012 07:43PM

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

You generalised that flashers get a sexual thrill from flashing. How do you know that all flashers get a sexual thrill from it. The could of a number of reasons they do it.

Break out a few theories there for us.

AnonoBoy · 16-12-2012 07:43PM

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

I wasn't asking why a woman might feel intimidated if a big burly man hissed at her on a dark quiet platform, although I appreciate the insight and will surely remember it if I ever do wonder that in future.

So you only want to talk about special select examples of flashing that you feel are harmless and if someone gives an example of flashing that clearly isn't harmless you're going to get all antsy with them and start throwing out the rolleyes?

Well played sunshine. Well played indeed.

Fr_Dougal · 16-12-2012 07:44PM

We're all gods children, we all have bits and bobs. Flashing is wrong though, bit of streaking is OK.

Mammanabammana · 16-12-2012 07:44PM

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Ok chill out, I wasn't telling you to feel anything :rolleyes:

...

Thanks for the extreme example though. Always helps :rolleyes:

Being condescending and dismissive of somebody else's heartfelt recounting of an unnerving and frightening experience also "always helps" (I'll leave out the rolleyes smiley for now).

Also, what makes you think it's an extreme example?

BhoscaCapall · 16-12-2012 07:45PM

Candie wrote: »

Really? It sounded like you thought it was funny and anyone upset over it was unstable or unreasonable. Maybe I misunderstood this part:

Yes I think you misunderstood this symbol: ? it usually denotes a question and it meant I was asking a question, rather than instructing anyone as to what they should think.

Can you give me a harmless example of a flashing that would make a funny anecdote for those West Coast Coolers with the girls?

How about a small man (in all senses) wearing a clown costume and shouting 'ta-da!' as he whips his pants off and then skipping off down the road?
Or, you know, just one that doesn't involve big scary men and dark scary places.

Oh, and here :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Thanks but whatever effect you hoped to achieve there was diminished by the fact I don't get wound up over smilies.

Mammanabammana · 16-12-2012 07:46PM

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

I wasn't asking why a woman might feel intimidated if a big burly man hissed at her on a dark quiet platform, although I appreciate the insight and will surely remember it if I ever do wonder that in future.

Ah ok. I made the mistake of taking you seriously there earlier on. Obvious troll is obvious.

syklops · 16-12-2012 07:46PM

Candie wrote: »

Break out a few theories there for us.

1. Sexual gratification
2. Just for the laugh
3. ?????
4. Profit? <- wishful thinking perhaps.

Otherwise I got none.

Scanlas The 2nd · 16-12-2012 07:46PM

Candie wrote: »

Break out a few theories there for us.

Can you actually not think of another reason why someone would flash? Try using your imagination.

BhoscaCapall · 16-12-2012 07:46PM

Mammanabammana wrote: »

Ah ok. I made the mistake of taking you seriously there earlier on. Obvious troll is obvious.

Evidently not that obvious then...

Mammanabammana · 16-12-2012 07:46PM

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

How about a small man (in all senses) wearing a clown costume and shouting 'ta-da!' as he whips his pants off and then skipping off down the road?
Or, you know, just one that doesn't involve big scary men and dark scary places.

QED.

gg2 · 16-12-2012 07:47PM

I was flashed walking home from school one day with a friend, we were about 14. Still feel sick thinking about it. He just whipped it out, 2 of us screamed and he ran off. Still see the guy about town regularly and **** myself because I think he's gonna do it again!

16-12-2012 07:50PM

BhoscaCapall wrote: »

Yes I think you misunderstood this symbol: ? it usually denotes a question and it meant I was asking a question, rather than instructing anyone as to what they should think.

How about a small man (in all senses) wearing a clown costume and shouting 'ta-da!' as he whips his pants off and then skipping off down the road?
Or, you know, just one that doesn't involve big scary men and dark scary places.

Thanks but whatever effect you hoped to achieve there was diminished by the fact I don't get wound up over smilies.

I understand you perfectly.

"Victims" of flashers

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