The social acceptance of violence from women

Ares

I had a look at this video here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iNxHxwT-b4

Essentially, this video is where two people, a man and a woman, pretend to be doing a Christmas survey and ask about the 'kissing under the mistletoe' tradition. Then after they ask the question a piece of mistletoe is hung just above them with the idea being to see would they would then kiss the random stranger.

At about 30 seconds into the video however a woman slaps the man very forcefully across the face. Personally I'm appalled by this kind of behaviour. In society it is accepted that woman may strike or slap a man and nothing is considered of it. Yet were a man to do the same to a woman they would be vilified.

Why is this? Why is women violence not considered the same as the fairer sex? What's worse is the fact that in the video the man laughs as if it's perfectly ok and the people around him also laugh. I can't help wonder what would happen were it the other way around.

Anyway After Hours, what are you're opinions on this topic.

joydivision

Ah sure men have skin that can take a slap and women dont hit very hard .

Gummy Panda

joydivision wrote: »

Ah sure men have skin that can take a slap and women dont hit very hard .

I have a feeling this will not end well for you

Sunnyisland

Domestic violence has traditionally been understood as a crime perpetrated by domineering men against defenceless women,Part of the reason that this problem is widely ignored lies in the notion that battered males are weak or unmanly.

woodoo

Absolutely it is rampant in TV soaps. Women just whacking men across the face and its seen as a reasonable response to feeling slighted.

I can't understand how this is acceptable.

joydivision

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I have a feeling this will not end well for you

Nah ill just pretend to be a woman on this thread itll be cool.

woodoo

joydivision wrote: »

Ah sure men have skin that can take a slap and women dont hit very hard .

Men should hit back equally as hard and there should be no complaint about it then so.

franktheplank

joydivision wrote: »

Nah ill just pretend to be a woman on this thread itll be cool.

D'oh

Max Power

He should have done her for assault. Horrible cow.

El Guapo!

It's the usual double standards when it comes to men.
Nothing new there.

joydivision

woodoo wrote: »

Men should hit back equally as hard and there should be no complaint about it then so.

But ye cant hit the girls jaysus man . Restrain them if ye must they have pretty little delicate faces how could you hit them ?
Turn the other cheek two wrongs dont make a right eye for an eye wed be all blind .

Dave0301

I don't see how it is acceptable for anyone to resort to violence to express themselves.I would have no respect for any man or woman who feels the need to lash out like that.

dark crystal

woodoo wrote: »

Absolutely it is rampant in TV soaps. Women just whacking men across the face and its seen as a reasonable response to feeling slighted.

I can't understand how this is acceptable.

There's actually a pretty good storyline in Coronation St. at the moment about a guy being physically and mentally abused by his female partner. Just as harrowing to watch as a woman being the recipient and I suspect it's made a lot more people aware of the issue.

joydivision

Yer wan that used to bash damo in fair city was great tv .

EDDIE WATERS

dark crystal wrote: »

There's actually a pretty good storyline in Coronation St. at the moment about a guy being physically and mentally abused by his female partner. Just as harrowing to watch as a woman being the recipient and I suspect it's made a lot more people aware of the issue.

That was in Fair city before that

dark crystal

EDDIE WATERS wrote: »

That was in Fair city before that

Aah, ok. Don't watch Fair City, so didn't know that :P

Fair play to them for highlighting it so.

Killer Wench

I think it is due to the deeply ingrained puritanical values that were passed down through generations. We are talking about a kiss and the woman reacting to a forward advance from the man. She slapped him to protect her virtue. People laugh because deep in our minds (and reinforced by what we see and read), our perceptions of men are as aggressive, sex-crazed individuals who will steal a woman's virtue and her reaction was an appropriate correction to his naughty behavior. It isn't so much that we tolerate her violent reaction; it is more that he deserved it for being such a horny toad.

Yes, yes, we are talking about medieval, Victorian, etc. values and we should have moved way beyond them, but we really haven't.

IvyTheTerrible

I don't know about anyone else, but it always sickens me when a woman slaps a guy on tv.

Apart from the violence, which is the main reason I'm sickened, it just seems like some women use a slap when they are losing an argument. I don't like the idea that tv shows it as ok to slap a guy when they do something wrong.

Irish Guitarist

In older films you often see a man slapping a woman around the face. The woman then falls for his roguish charm and kisses him. It happened in a lot of 1940s films and also early James Bond films.

Czarcasm

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

In older films you often see a man slapping a woman around the face. The woman then falls for his roguish charm and kisses him. It happened in a lot of 1940s films and also early James Bond films.

The OP should probably never watch "Gone Slaps With The Wind"-

http://50yearstoolate.blogspot.ie/2010/01/slaps-with-wind.html?m=1

Truncheon Rouge

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

In older films you often see a man slapping a woman around the face. The woman then falls for his roguish charm and kisses him. It happened in a lot of 1940s films and also early James Bond films.

007's pimp hand strong.

Anyway, gentlemen learn boxings cross guard/philly crab, lower one hand to guard the coin purse and we need never speak of women up beating men again.

keith16

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

In older films you often see a man slapping a woman around the face. The woman then falls for his roguish charm and kisses him. It happened in a lot of 1940s films and also early James Bond films.

*Slaps Irish Guitarist

Now shut up and kiss me ya filthy animal.

GRMA

Part of it I'm sure is because women are far weaker than men, a full force hit from a typical woman would do far less damage than one from a man.

Violence against women, even in justified situations is frowned upon. I've only punched a woman once and that was when she went to glass another woman at the bar when she had turned away, I stopped her with a punch before she could. She was fairly messed up but nothing compared to how her would be victim would have been. Now I think she deserved that but drunken white knights, they were normal guys, not scumbags, started making trouble with me because I hit a woman. Bouncers threw them out, I'd say that's cause they know what glassing someone can do.

Mal-Adjusted

Obligatory meme...

http://t.qkme.me/3onap0.jpg

GRMA

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Love the way men say "if she's up for it on the first night she's not girlfriend material".

Well guess what lads, you aren't my type either!

What's this, a ****e attempt at whataboutary ?

Czarcasm

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Love the way men say "if she's up for it on the first night she's not girlfriend material".

Well guess what lads, you aren't my type either!

Aside from the username, I'm struggling to find the context of your post in relation to the subject of the thread?

YellowFeather

Having worked with men who have been domestically abused by their partner, I can tell you that the biggest issue for them in seeking help is the shame of coming clean to their family / friends. Society seriously needs to change it's views, as it's more common than people realise, and there's a definite perception out there that men who are abused by their partners are weak or not able to handle themselves.

GRMA wrote: »

Part of it I'm sure is because women are far weaker than men, a full force hit from a typical woman would do far less damage than one from a man.

Problems is, women often hit with more than just fists.

joydivision

Id never marry a girl who looks like she d be able to beat me up .

okedoke

how can you slap??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS9OqubRZXo

spurious

What a strange video - I'm thinking there must be something else going on to merit his strange leer before she hit him - and the complete non-reaction from the other guy? Was it all staged?.

He hit her with a lot of force than she hit him - emphasised even more by the replays.

Anyway, both scummers for hitting anyone. Thankfully I don't move in social circles where it's acceptable for anyone to hit anyone.

Sunnyisland

spurious wrote: »

What a strange video - I'm thinking there must be something else going on to merit his strange leer before she hit him - and the complete non-reaction from the other guy? Was it all staged?.

He hit her with a lot of force than she hit him - emphasised even more by the replays.

Anyway, both scummers for hitting anyone. Thankfully I don't move in social circles where it's acceptable for anyone to hit anyone.

That was a game show on live TV in India, After that the man was set upon and beaten Reality TV Indian style.

tritium

There's been a few threads on this in AH over the last while and I think there seems to be an (incorrect) view that it's somehow much less prevalent or much less serious. There was a time when I'd rise to stupid posts of the "sure it's only a women" or "why doesnt he grow a set" variety but rbh Ive come to realise that a lot of people are just ignorant of the reality of domestic violence by women against men. Its something that to my mind has been deliberately supressed because it doesn't suit a parallel agenda that has significant support. It will probably take a few years to change that but the fact that people can see the argument now means we're getting there

Topper Harley

I'm just going to balance up the thread with a video of a woman being slapped, not that I agree with that sort of thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0GW0Vnr9Yc

tritium

joydivision wrote: »

Id never marry a girl who looks like she d be able to beat me up .

What about one who didn't look like she could beat you up but did anyway?

Sauve

joydivision wrote: »

Id never marry a girl who looks like she d be able to beat me up .

Why not?
I'd be more concerned about whether someone I was going to marry would have the inclination to beat me up, rather than be able to do it.
About 90% of the men out there look like they would be able to beat me up. It's not a reason not to marry them!

BhoscaCapall

I would hit a woman if I absolute had to i.e. it would prevent more significant suffering to me or someone else, but I would definitely be more reluctant. I'm not a violent person anyway but if I really felt a bloke deserved a slap whereas the threshold with a woman is far more. Why? Because I don't view them as equals in a physical sense. Same way I'm better than most 'top tier' female soccer players and think that it being televised is a complete and utter farce.

The way I see it the two attitudes are "well we're both equal so we'll both get treated equally" and "we're not equal in all aspects so I will treat you differently". Seeing as the second one usually results in more favourable treatment for women it's usually the one they prefer, so long as you don't actually say it.

In summary: say they're equal, treat them different.

realies

realies wrote: »

That was a game show on live TV in India, After that the man was set upon and beaten Reality TV Indian style.

Its illegal, as in an actual offence, to kiss in public in parts of India. You can be prosecuted for public lewdness.

A woman would hit a man to show she wasn't colluding in the commission of an offence in those circumstances.*

*I haven't watched the video because I don't like seeing anyone being hit, male or female.

BhoscaCapall

Candie wrote: »

*I haven't watched the video because I don't like seeing anyone being hit, male or female.

You couldn't bring yourself to watch a video of a bloke getting a slap off a woman?

How do you life

Topper Harley

Another good slap video. This is the kind of thing that makes some people think a woman slapping a man is acceptable.

Holysock

Was watching Pirates of the Caribbean during the day on a children's channel years ago. A part where the main female character is slapped in the face was cut out yet scenes of Jack being slapped full force in the face by various angry women were left in. Even scenes with people being stabbed with swords weren't cut. Found it odd at the time.

Zen65

The violent nature of women has long been a taboo subject, perhaps because there is a perception that to address it would undermine the very reasonable argument that violence against women is so unacceptable.

Women are no more violent than men. In many respects they are less physically violent, but more psychologically violent. Most school teachers in a mixed school will tell you that bullying of boys (by other boys) is more obvious than bullying of girls by girls. However bullying of girls by girls would appear to be far more psychological and harmful, as it results in exclusion and isolation which can be enduring. Indeed in a boys' school physical bullying can often be seen as the 'reset' on a bullying situation, whereas in a girls' school no such reset is available. We rarely hear of bullying of boys by girls, and yet it is reasonable to assume that it must be happening. Something in our societal norms makes it more difficult for boys to report this, and this reluctance and shame continues into adult life.

I recall a few years ago when two Polish men were stabbed and killed by an Irish guy. As best I can recall, the violence was the result of a perceived slight against two girls by two other girls, and those girls went in search of their male friend (known himself as a tough guy). They incited him to seek revenge, and when he arrived at the girls' house the two Polish men (who were not involved in the original verbal altercation) went outside to calm things down only to be stabbed and killed.

The spate of killings in Limerick some years ago was reputed to have been precipitated by an argument between a number of women in a schoolyard.

There are any number of cases of men intervening in fights between a man and a woman only to find himself being stabbed / glassed by the woman while he is fending off the male attacker. When I teach self-defence classes I always emphasize to men that intervening in such a fight is extremely likely to result in you being injured - by the woman.

Moreover, the number of men and women who have been attacked by gangs of girls in Dublin city is surprisingly large (though I would be fairly certain it is far fewer then the number of attacks by gangs of males). It seems that the very perception of violence by women being uncommon makes it less likely that victims will seek redress through the legal system, for the reasons mentioned by other posters i.e. the fear of a male being perceived as weak if he is beaten up by girls.

The woman slapping the man in this video gets laughs all round. It is far easier to laugh at the situation than to try address it. Back in the 80's there were TV comedy shows based on entirely racist & sexist precepts, and nowadays we look on those with embarrassment and shame. I expect that in years to come we will eventually come to see the acceptance of violence from women in exactly the same way.


Z

TheUsual

Holysock wrote: »

Was watching Batman during the day on a children's channel years ago.

Holy Sock's Batman !!

hatrickpatrick

I despise this double standard, but it is actually changing. Slowly, sure, but all double standards die hard. The fact that it does in fact seem to be dying at all, even if at a snail's pace, is reassuring.

Knockout_91

Czarcasm wrote: »

Aside from the username, I'm struggling to find the context of your post in relation to the subject of the thread?

Haha I misunderstood the thread. Assumed it was about sexism :P

amacca

it would be a much funnier video if they guy then punched the girl in the face for assaulting him a la that much underrated film way of the gun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xsaMcw69D8

Topper Harley

amacca wrote: »

it would be a much funnier video if they guy then punched the girl in the face for assaulting him a la that much underrated film way of the gun

I enjoyed that way more than I should have. Sarah Silverman is very annoying.

tritium

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Haha I misunderstood the thread. Assumed it was about sexism :P

No, it's about violence against men where the perpetrator is female, and society's difficulty in accepting it's a serious issue rather than something acceptable or with comedic value. A little bit more than just sexism I'm afraid

Bipolar Joe

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Haha I misunderstood the thread. Assumed it was about sexism :P

Try reading the first post, or even the thread title, then you won't post such stupid things hopefully.

amacca

Topper Harley wrote: »

I enjoyed that way more than I should have. Sarah Silverman is very annoying.

Indeed...we've all me him/her, in some capacity at some point in our lives and found the thought of a rectal examination more appealing than spending another second in his/her company

joydivision

Sauve wrote: »

Why not?
I'd be more concerned about whether someone I was going to marry would have the inclination to beat me up, rather than be able to do it.
About 90% of the men out there look like they would be able to beat me up. It's not a reason not to marry them!

Ahyes but a woman chooses a man that can protect her . A man chooses a woman he could beat up if he needed to but doesnt want to damage.
Thats the secret to a perfect marriage.

amacca

joydivision wrote: »

A man chooses a woman he could beat up if he needed to but doesnt want to damage.

poor naive me....I've always tried to choose women I really liked with never a thought towards ease of beating them up

that must be where I'm going wrong eh?