The social acceptance of violence from women

tritium · 16-12-2012 07:27PM

There's been a few threads on this in AH over the last while and I think there seems to be an (incorrect) view that it's somehow much less prevalent or much less serious. There was a time when I'd rise to stupid posts of the "sure it's only a women" or "why doesnt he grow a set" variety but rbh Ive come to realise that a lot of people are just ignorant of the reality of domestic violence by women against men. Its something that to my mind has been deliberately supressed because it doesn't suit a parallel agenda that has significant support. It will probably take a few years to change that but the fact that people can see the argument now means we're getting there

Topper Harley · 16-12-2012 07:29PM

I'm just going to balance up the thread with a video of a woman being slapped, not that I agree with that sort of thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0GW0Vnr9Yc

tritium · 16-12-2012 07:30PM

joydivision wrote: »

Id never marry a girl who looks like she d be able to beat me up .

What about one who didn't look like she could beat you up but did anyway?

Sauve · 16-12-2012 07:31PM

joydivision wrote: »

Id never marry a girl who looks like she d be able to beat me up .

Why not?
I'd be more concerned about whether someone I was going to marry would have the inclination to beat me up, rather than be able to do it.
About 90% of the men out there look like they would be able to beat me up. It's not a reason not to marry them!

BhoscaCapall · 16-12-2012 07:31PM

I would hit a woman if I absolute had to i.e. it would prevent more significant suffering to me or someone else, but I would definitely be more reluctant. I'm not a violent person anyway but if I really felt a bloke deserved a slap whereas the threshold with a woman is far more. Why? Because I don't view them as equals in a physical sense. Same way I'm better than most 'top tier' female soccer players and think that it being televised is a complete and utter farce.

The way I see it the two attitudes are "well we're both equal so we'll both get treated equally" and "we're not equal in all aspects so I will treat you differently". Seeing as the second one usually results in more favourable treatment for women it's usually the one they prefer, so long as you don't actually say it.

In summary: say they're equal, treat them different.

16-12-2012 07:33PM

realies wrote: »

That was a game show on live TV in India, After that the man was set upon and beaten Reality TV Indian style.

Its illegal, as in an actual offence, to kiss in public in parts of India. You can be prosecuted for public lewdness.

A woman would hit a man to show she wasn't colluding in the commission of an offence in those circumstances.*

*I haven't watched the video because I don't like seeing anyone being hit, male or female.

BhoscaCapall · 16-12-2012 07:39PM

Candie wrote: »

*I haven't watched the video because I don't like seeing anyone being hit, male or female.

You couldn't bring yourself to watch a video of a bloke getting a slap off a woman?

How do you life

Topper Harley · 16-12-2012 07:39PM

Another good slap video. This is the kind of thing that makes some people think a woman slapping a man is acceptable.

Holysock · 16-12-2012 07:49PM

Was watching Pirates of the Caribbean during the day on a children's channel years ago. A part where the main female character is slapped in the face was cut out yet scenes of Jack being slapped full force in the face by various angry women were left in. Even scenes with people being stabbed with swords weren't cut. Found it odd at the time.

Zen65 · 16-12-2012 08:12PM

The violent nature of women has long been a taboo subject, perhaps because there is a perception that to address it would undermine the very reasonable argument that violence against women is so unacceptable.

Women are no more violent than men. In many respects they are less physically violent, but more psychologically violent. Most school teachers in a mixed school will tell you that bullying of boys (by other boys) is more obvious than bullying of girls by girls. However bullying of girls by girls would appear to be far more psychological and harmful, as it results in exclusion and isolation which can be enduring. Indeed in a boys' school physical bullying can often be seen as the 'reset' on a bullying situation, whereas in a girls' school no such reset is available. We rarely hear of bullying of boys by girls, and yet it is reasonable to assume that it must be happening. Something in our societal norms makes it more difficult for boys to report this, and this reluctance and shame continues into adult life.

I recall a few years ago when two Polish men were stabbed and killed by an Irish guy. As best I can recall, the violence was the result of a perceived slight against two girls by two other girls, and those girls went in search of their male friend (known himself as a tough guy). They incited him to seek revenge, and when he arrived at the girls' house the two Polish men (who were not involved in the original verbal altercation) went outside to calm things down only to be stabbed and killed.

The spate of killings in Limerick some years ago was reputed to have been precipitated by an argument between a number of women in a schoolyard.

There are any number of cases of men intervening in fights between a man and a woman only to find himself being stabbed / glassed by the woman while he is fending off the male attacker. When I teach self-defence classes I always emphasize to men that intervening in such a fight is extremely likely to result in you being injured - by the woman.

Moreover, the number of men and women who have been attacked by gangs of girls in Dublin city is surprisingly large (though I would be fairly certain it is far fewer then the number of attacks by gangs of males). It seems that the very perception of violence by women being uncommon makes it less likely that victims will seek redress through the legal system, for the reasons mentioned by other posters i.e. the fear of a male being perceived as weak if he is beaten up by girls.

The woman slapping the man in this video gets laughs all round. It is far easier to laugh at the situation than to try address it. Back in the 80's there were TV comedy shows based on entirely racist & sexist precepts, and nowadays we look on those with embarrassment and shame. I expect that in years to come we will eventually come to see the acceptance of violence from women in exactly the same way.

Z

TheUsual · 16-12-2012 08:15PM

Holysock wrote: »

Was watching Batman during the day on a children's channel years ago.

Holy Sock's Batman !!

hatrickpatrick · 16-12-2012 08:44PM

I despise this double standard, but it is actually changing. Slowly, sure, but all double standards die hard. The fact that it does in fact seem to be dying at all, even if at a snail's pace, is reassuring.

Knockout_91 · 16-12-2012 09:45PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Aside from the username, I'm struggling to find the context of your post in relation to the subject of the thread?

Haha I misunderstood the thread. Assumed it was about sexism :P

amacca · 16-12-2012 09:56PM

it would be a much funnier video if they guy then punched the girl in the face for assaulting him a la that much underrated film way of the gun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xsaMcw69D8

Topper Harley · 16-12-2012 10:06PM

amacca wrote: »

it would be a much funnier video if they guy then punched the girl in the face for assaulting him a la that much underrated film way of the gun

I enjoyed that way more than I should have.

Sarah Silverman is very annoying.

tritium · 16-12-2012 10:16PM

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Haha I misunderstood the thread. Assumed it was about sexism :P

No, it's about violence against men where the perpetrator is female, and society's difficulty in accepting it's a serious issue rather than something acceptable or with comedic value. A little bit more than just sexism I'm afraid

Bipolar Joe · 16-12-2012 10:20PM

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Haha I misunderstood the thread. Assumed it was about sexism :P

Try reading the first post, or even the thread title, then you won't post such stupid things hopefully.

amacca · 16-12-2012 10:20PM

Topper Harley wrote: »

I enjoyed that way more than I should have. Sarah Silverman is very annoying.

Indeed...we've all me him/her, in some capacity at some point in our lives and found the thought of a rectal examination more appealing than spending another second in his/her company

joydivision · 17-12-2012 02:38AM

Sauve wrote: »

Why not?
I'd be more concerned about whether someone I was going to marry would have the inclination to beat me up, rather than be able to do it.
About 90% of the men out there look like they would be able to beat me up. It's not a reason not to marry them!

Ahyes but a woman chooses a man that can protect her . A man chooses a woman he could beat up if he needed to but doesnt want to damage.
Thats the secret to a perfect marriage.

amacca · 17-12-2012 02:48AM

joydivision wrote: »

A man chooses a woman he could beat up if he needed to but doesnt want to damage.

poor naive me....I've always tried to choose women I really liked with never a thought towards ease of beating them up

that must be where I'm going wrong eh?

joydivision · 17-12-2012 02:53AM

100 per cent great post .

yizorselves · 17-12-2012 02:57AM

Any burd that slaps a fella for no reason should get a nice hard shove that sends her flying, make her feel that masculine power! That'll keep her in check. Any guy that gets slapped for being cheeky should just man up, you got hit by a girl dude. Harden the fack up Stefan!

17-12-2012 03:01AM

YellowFeather wrote: »

Problems is, women often hit with more than just fists.

I'm glad I stopped smoking, I won't have to worry about getting beaten up with one of my own ashtrays.

upandcumming · 17-12-2012 03:01AM

yizorselves wrote: »

Any burd that slaps a fella for no reason should get a nice hard shove that sends her flying, make her feel that masculine power! That'll keep her in check. Any guy that gets slapped for being cheeky should just man up, you got hit by a girl dude. Harden the fack up Stefan!

A nice hard shove? Fuck that.

She should get a slap just the same.

TeddyTedson · 17-12-2012 03:08AM

I love a woman with spirit.

Teddies been slapped a lot

yizorselves · 17-12-2012 03:09AM

like the shove at 1:07, think it'd suffice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq2hWRHkk-M

Topper Harley · 17-12-2012 03:11AM

yizorselves wrote: »

Any burd that slaps a fella for no reason should get a nice hard shove that sends her flying, make her feel that masculine power! That'll keep her in check. Any guy that gets slapped for being cheeky should just man up, you got hit by a girl dude. Harden the fack up Stefan!

I'm not sure if this is serious but probably represents a lot if not most people's attitudes is exactly where the problem lies.

A shove would only be acceptable if it's preventing a further slap but retaliation isn't the answer.

roadrunner16 · 17-12-2012 03:13AM

joydivision wrote: »

Ah sure men have skin that can take a slap and women dont hit very hard .

So are you saying that so long as I dont slap a woman to hard and just do it lightly I'll not be judged/prosecuted for it ??

IvySlayer · 17-12-2012 03:21AM

Zen65 wrote: »

The violent nature of women has long been a taboo subject, perhaps because there is a perception that to address it would undermine the very reasonable argument that violence against women is so unacceptable.

Women are no more violent than men. In many respects they are less physically violent, but more psychologically violent.

Yet there was a report released in America, out of 175,500 cases demonstrated women equally or more aggressive than men...

In another study out of 365,000 domestic abuse cases came to the same conclusion.

Look up Martin Fiebert for sources.

roadrunner16 · 17-12-2012 03:24AM

joydivision wrote: »

But ye cant hit the girls jaysus man . Restrain them if ye must they have pretty little delicate faces how could you hit them ?
Turn the other cheek two wrongs dont make a right eye for an eye wed be all blind .

I think what the op is saying is how it is different if the roles had of been reversed. imagine if one of the fellas in the video had slapped the girl. would people have laughed . no of course they wouldnt and that is treating people different due to gender. and that is sexism.

The social acceptance of violence from women

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