What do you LOVE about being Single?

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

Have you ever noticed men being serial monogamists in the same way?

Yea but it's rarer. I reckon for a few reasons. The obvious one might be that as a very general rule more women find it easier to get a bloke, any bloke than most men can get a woman, any woman. Plus there is IMHO far more social pressure on women to have a relationship status compared to men. The social pressure on men to "get laid" might be comparable, but it's way easier to lie about it.

riveratom

One less present to buy at Christmas....or all year round really, for the different occasions

kat.mac

I have to say I'm really picky about who I go out with, because I really enjoy being single. The one thing that really sticks out as being the best thing about being single is that when I need to make major decisions, I *only* have myself to consider - for example when it comes to moving far away for a job, or if you're unhappy in a job and decide to jack it in and see what happens or where life takes you next. I've done both, and count myself very lucky to have been single both times so that I could concentrate on what I really wanted, and didn't have the added stress of trying to figure out what was best for 'us'.

primrose_lily

I love not having to wait for someone else anymore, in so many ways. I love that i can now focus on myself and my goals rather then wait for someone else because of their job or wait untill they get their masters/phd/post doc. Yes i actually put all my dreams aside for someone else for nothing! That was partially my fault but i had gotten caught up in the relationship bubble! Not anymore

Obviously, having my own space has been wonderful.
I love being able to read at night and not have someone beside me wanting the light off.
I love not feeling like i have to justify myself all the time.

Ive made new friends and ive become so much more sociable in the last few months its been amazing.
Im really just enjoying being single at the moment. Everything just feels so new again.

I love going out at the weekends and letting my hair down (This never used to happen) and not having to think of anyone else.
Its the small things that i enjoy now.

I dont think that any of this is being selfish..i think its being human. No one should rely on another person to be happy, right??


This thread is great, its really positive

Gauge

The bed is all mine. I like being able to starfish and stack pillows/blankets everywhere.
My space is mine, it's organised and decorated to my preferences and can be as messy or tidy as I choose!
I don't have to factor another person into my plans or decisions and they can be as spur of the moment as I want them to be.
No nosy relatives asking me where my ring is!
Dedicating as much time as I like to myself and my hobbies.
My holidays are tailored to my preferences.
I can cook meals without having to worry about the dietary preferences/requirements of another person.
I've come to really enjoy my own time and my own company and am perfectly happy to be alone.
I entertain myself with the TV shows, games, movies I want to enjoy and don't have to sit through things I don't necessarily want to watch/do.
If I'm feeling moody or down I can take time to myself to think things over and not have to explain/validate my mood to another person.

In summary, these past few years of singledom have led to me becoming just a bit selfish with my time there are perks to single life though, and I'm enjoying them!

ash23

The one thing I definitely miss about being single is the extra time. My relationship sort of eats into my free time so I find it harder to fit in family time and friend time and work time. The support I get from my relationship far outweighs the strain it puts on me. But at the same time, it's another person to factor into my free time.

I also really miss the sense of achievement I felt at parenting solo. I was a single mother with a full time job, a nice house and a happy life. And I was well chuffed with myself for being able to do it all solo.
Now I find myself drifting away from independence to co-dependence. Dont' get me wrong, it's not a bad thing. It's easier and my life is less stressful for it. But I don't have that same "I am woman, hear me roar" thing going on because I have a partner now.

RacoonQueen

Deleted User wrote: »

Have you ever noticed men being serial monogamists in the same way? It's funny seeing a few women I know who've each been single for maybe a month since they were like 14 and they're now in their mid-twenties. I almost got snared by both but realised quite quickly to get out. :pac:

I know a couple of guys that are. Went out with one for a few months. Wanted me to move in with him after three months - I nearly died. After we split he was out on the town all weekend on he hunt for someone new, a few weeks later he was with someone new. Didn't work, a week later he met someone else and they're still together now.

Dodged a bullet there I always thought. He seemed a bit desperate to 'settle down', I could have ended up with someone who was with me just to have someone rather than actually loving me. If I wanted to move in with someone and loved them/liked them enough to propose the idea, I wouldn't be with someone new a couple of weeks after we split.

Feck that.

Roisy7

I really needed to find this thread- was feeling a bit down about being single lately!

The best thing is freedom. Considering moving abroad next year and don't have to consult with anyone about going

I know a few serial monogamists as well, mostly girls. They would say it's how things worked out but I think it's kinda well... asking for trouble?

For example if you have NEVER managed on your own, how would you cope if you had to? In the future, if they become widows or something? If you can't bear being alone, that's worrying.

tomthetank

Roisy7 wrote: »

For example if you have NEVER managed on your own, how would you cope if you had to? In the future, if they become widows or something?

By Finding someone new to go out with I'd imagine.

username123

The biggest thing I miss about being single is non regimented food. I used to have days where Id eat a bit of left over pizza for breakfast, cereal for lunch, a pot noodle for dinner and a banana if I got hungry in between, because I was busy or hungover or there was nothing in the kitchen and I couldnt be bothered going out.

Now we discuss meals and there is always a planned dinner and always things in the cupboards for breakfast/lunch/supper/snacks. When you cook for two (and it could be him cooking) you tend to have a proper dinner whether or not you are hungry just because its handed to you. And you stop doing things like eating half a packet of digestive biscuits in one sitting because no one can see you

Roisy7

tomthetank wrote: »

By Finding someone new to go out with I'd imagine.

The few men in the retirement home are always in high demand! Seriously tho, I'm glad that I know that I can live by myself, that seems like a security that some of my friends don't have.

Fizzlesque

Today I love being single. I will be spending Christmas day alone tomorrow, my second (not consecutive) Christmas with only me to consider and entertain, for the 24 hours that have been earmarked in our psyche as hours nobody should spend alone.

For me, every Christmas is different, my family home having been sold when I was in my youthful (and turbulent) early twenties. It meant, in Christmas terms, there was no central point for the gathering of a wandering tribe. Some years, later years, I visited my dad, who has moved twice since he sold our family home, other times one of my brothers (I have 4) and their family, friends, collection of like-minded lost souls, as well as the times my sister and stepmother have headed off together, to counties and countries new, to add holiday to the holiday that sometimes feels nothing like a holiday.

One year I went on a yoga retreat, alone, seriously hungover from two nights partying prior to my leaving, and left after three days feeling squeaky clean and ready to take on the world again, my own world.

Ever since then I realised I quite liked the idea of not spending Christmas the same way each year, or in ways that are wholly traditional. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hater of Christmas, sometimes it can be a total delight, but instead of viewing my far-flung family (we're quite scattered, geographically) and the lack of Christmas 'tradition' as something to lament, I find myself relishing the freedom to do as I please, sometimes considering others, sometimes considering no others.

I love being single, and especially love being single at times like Christmas, when people who may never express a frustration aloud begin to show seepage in their amour and make comments that remind me that I'm content enough in my single space.

primrose_lily

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Today I love being single. I will be spending Christmas day alone tomorrow, my second (not consecutive) Christmas with only me to consider and entertain, for the 24 hours that have been earmarked in our psyche as hours nobody should spend alone....



The biggest challenge that everyone faces at some point is how to be alone and to be ok with it.
You can have all the friends in the world and a great family behind you but you still need to be able to be alone by yourself for any period of time, even if it is a night in by yourself, go out for walks or to events or to spend a day with just you and your thoughts.

Its important and so admirable that you are doing this.

Its a great feeling when you become comfortable enough in your own skin that you dont feel the need to rely on others for company. Dont get me wrong spending time with people is just as important but you become a much more balanced person when you can do both

I think that when you learn to be by yourself, you also learn how to be with others too.

I hope this makes sense, if not, sorry...i am full of sugar from the box of celebrations that i attacked earlier

Merry Xmas

SwanSky

The best thing about being single for me is that I don't have to go through the trauma of being emotionally abused. That looks so horrible as it pops up in type on the computer screen, but it's the truth of the situation.

I split up from a LTR a couple of years back and months into the break-up, when the hurt of the split subsided, I realised that I was not being subjected to that emotional roller coaster anymore, that I didn't have to worry about being humiliated and degraded and made to feel irrelevant and small. My life smoothed out into a much more emotionally stable and secure place to be, and thank God for that.

Yes it'd be nice to love and be loved, but I'm going to be very careful about who I give my heart to next time.

wivy

I think there's a huge stigma out there about being single. I don't think people believe me when I say that I love being single.

I don't know if I'm being really selfish by saying this but I'm really enjoy attention from the opposite sex on my nights out. I think I was so closed off to other guys without even realizing it when I was going out with someone. I'm now so much more confident in myself and enjoying meeting (and kissing) different boys.

I am myself! and I prefer my 'single' self to the person I was when I was going out with someone. I don't have to filter what I do, or say because I'm afraid my OH will roll his eyes or tell me its time to go home.
I'm the happiest I've ever been, I'm having the time of my life travelling the world, fulfilling all my aspirations and things I want to do!

and I cant see my relationship status changing for quite some time to come until I find someone who completely accepts me for who I am, madness and all!

Fizzlesque

primrose_lily wrote: »

Its a great feeling when you become comfortable enough in your own skin that you dont feel the need to rely on others for company. Dont get me wrong spending time with people is just as important but you become a much more balanced person when you can do both

Totally agree. I've been alone in so many ways, for so long, it's old hat to me now. I'm probably a bit slack when it comes to spending time with other people - sometimes it's just so exhausting being in the company of others. I'm not a friendless hermit, but I often have to fight the urge to say no to invitations and push myself to be more sociable

Naid23

wivy wrote: »

I think there's a huge stigma out there about being single. I don't think people believe me when I say that I love being single.

I don't know if I'm being really selfish by saying this but I'm really enjoy attention from the opposite sex on my nights out. I think I was so closed off to other guys without even realizing it when I was going out with someone. I'm now so much more confident in myself and enjoying meeting (and kissing) different boys.

I am myself! and I prefer my 'single' self to the person I was when I was going out with someone. I don't have to filter what I do, or say because I'm afraid my OH will roll his eyes or tell me its time to go home.
I'm the happiest I've ever been, I'm having the time of my life travelling the world, fulfilling all my aspirations and things I want to do!

and I cant see my relationship status changing for quite some time to come until I find someone who completely accepts me for who I am, madness and all!

thank you for that post. Has helped me alot in accepting being single for the first time in nearly 8 years!..

The Corinthian

Shelf space in the bathroom. And every other room.

Being able to switch on my SMS notification tone again.

Never having to dread that time of the month and with it the inevitable picking of fights.

Not finding melted candle-wax everywhere.

A refrigerator which doesn't principally act as a graveyard to half eaten, mouldy cheeses.

Being able to find things where I left them.

Not finding my razor in the shower...

Having sex probably as often as most couples who are together for ten years.

The extra money.

More time for myself, my hobbies and work.

Waking up to find that I still have some, any Lebensraum in bed.

Being able to go out spontaneously, without seeking permission and worrying if that permission really was permission or another test of whether I preferred sitting at home with her or not.

25-year olds with Electra complexes.

Birdster

The Corinthian wrote: »

25-year olds with Electra complexes.

Lol

TaraLo

I love this post, thank you!
I was just beginning to get tired of being alone because a lot of my friends are loved up and because it's Christmas and everyone feels lonelier at Christmas, but then I saw this and remembered that when I was in a couple I was the one to end it, because I craved my freedom again!

I wanted to be myself and not myself as half of a couple!
I wanted to hog the duvet.
I wanted to spend more than an hour or so a week with my friends.
I wanted my weekends to be free again and not to be tied down with plans with the other half!
And above all I wanted to be free to go/do anything that I wanted instead of being limited to a future that we could have in common, now my immediate future is wide open and unlimited.

newbee22

I am someone who has finally accepted being single! Love it because
- I can do what I want when I want
- Don't have to make plans to suit anyone else
- More time for my hobbies
- Less presents to buy at Christmas

Precious flower

Well since I've never had a boyfriend I don't know and different but I think:

- I don't have to feel bad about being in a bad mood. My family are always at me the minute I'm not in a great humour, asking me why etc? Drives me up the wall 'Let me be sulky' so I can imagine (because that's all I can do right now :pac:) that's even harder if you were in a relationship.
- Sharing a bed. That would be quite hard with my as I like to wrap one side of the quilt practically around me! :pac: Not to mention I'm a demon in the morning. I do not like talking until I've been up for a while. If you interrogate me when I've just woke up your liable to die, slowly and painfully!
- I suppose when you're living together it can be hard. My brother and his girlfriend live up in Dublin in a fairly small apartment and although they obviously aren't there all the time I can imagine it can be hard. Having time to yourself and your own space is a bonus of being single for definite and I'm one of those who needs time on her own occasionally, or a lot!:pac:
- I definitely think there are pros and cons for both.:)

dave3004

When I am single I don't get in any trouble if I am texting several chicks

Amy33

I love being able to go on 4 holidays a year solo. If I was in a relationship I'd have to explain myself if I went out to buy a pint of milk.

Fluorescence

Amy33 wrote: »

I love being able to go on 4 holidays a year solo. If I was in a relationship I'd have to explain myself if I went out to buy a pint of milk.

Hardly, unless you were in a very unhealthy relationship?

catallus

Fluorescence wrote: »

Hardly, unless you were in a very unhealthy relationship?

I was just about to say that, why would you need to explain anything so small...If I ever thought it was expected to explain my every move I'd be a little bit suspicious....

Having said that I know I am guilty of asking stupid questions like "Where you off to?, or "What's that about?" when something unexpected happens in my immediate vicinity so maybe that's the explanation...

Nate--IRL--

Roisy7 wrote: »

If you can't bear being alone, that's worrying.

Is it though. I'd like opinions on that....

Nate

Ella

Nate--IRL-- wrote: »

Is it though. I'd like opinions on that....

Nate

Someone who jumps from relationship to relationship for fear of being alone does have problems. You need to be comfortable in your own skin and know you can live without the help of others to be happy in my opinion.

I have one friend who has never been single and will settle for any guy who shows interest just cause she can't be alone. She is also a very unhappy person in every relationship she's in. It's sad.

catallus

Ella wrote: »

Someone who jumps from relationship to relationship for fear of being alone does have problems. You need to be comfortable in your own skin and know you can live without the help of others to be happy in my opinion.

I have one friend who has never been single and will settle for any guy who shows interest just cause she can't be alone. She is also a very unhappy person in every relationship she's in. It's sad.

Do you think she's just unhappy generally or because she's in bad relationships?

Nate--IRL--

That to me is their prerogative. As as happy or unhappy as they may be. **** it, it is their life.

Nate