Advice for staying safe

Misa-san

Hi guys,

I did a quick search of the forum, but I was looking for some advice.

I just found out a girl was assaulted an evening during the week as she got off a bus just outside my estate. She lives just around the corner from me. I think she's okay, from what I've heard. To say that I'm terrified is an understatement ... only for the fact I was at an event that night I would've been on that bus getting off at that stop.

I don't know any details yet, but with the evenings so dark I was wondering if anyone had any tips on staying safe. My boyfriend has said he'll meet me at the busstop and walk me home ... but I don't know how often he can do that.

If anyone had any advice I'd really appreciate it, even just to settle my nerves...

Fluorescence

High-vis jacket, have an agreement with a close friend/your boyfriend to text when you're home safe (and come up with a contingency plan if that text never comes through) and be vigilant when you're out by yourself in the dark.

I know a girl who carries a mini-deodorant spray can as a make-shift pepper-spray. Just be warned that pepper spray is technically illegal in Ireland (classed as a weapon). Might allow you the chance to make your getaway though

tayto lover

There you go OP.

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-stay-safe-on-a-night-out

Esterhase

I understand that you're freaked out by the assault happening so close to your home, but the best thing you can do is try to keep calm about it. That's easier said than done, but these things can and do happen in any part of any town at any time of the day. It's scary to think that it could happen to you, but try not to let paranoia take over and I'm sure the bad feeling will fade in time.

That being said, it's a good idea to take some sensible precautions when you're out and about late at night. Walk confidently; you don't want to appear nervous. Keep an eye on your surroundings and don't wear headphones so you can hear what is going on around you. Getting your boyfriend to walk you home is great if he is willing and able to do it. If he can't, text him or a friend when you get off the bus and again when you arrive home so someone knows you're safe.

Lingua Franca

Fluorescence wrote: »

I know a girl who carries a mini-deodorant spray can as a make-shift pepper-spray. Just be warned that pepper spray is technically illegal in Ireland (classed as a weapon). Might allow you the chance to make your getaway though

Yes, pepper spray is illegal. Don't carry it.



MOD EDIT

Edited out unnecessary text. Please stay on topic

Cerulean Chicken

My friend showed me her torch a few days ago, that she carries with her when she's doing evening classes and has to walk to her car. Now, it is just a torch, but it's about 10 inches long and heavy as hell! So it does the trick of lighting the way to her car when she needs it every evening, but should anyone ever go near her she has some bit of protection, she could give you a fair whack with it. Thought it was genius, she carries a big bag all the time so it fits into that, but even a smaller one that still had a bit of weight could come in very useful to stun someone long enough for you to get away.

Frogeye

I think you may be over reacting to be honest. Not making light of your concerns or the assault on the poor girl but its extremely unlikely to happen to you. there must be thousands of women passing through that bus stop every year. You have heard of just one assault, the nature of which seems unclear ( possibly sexual, possibly a mugging, possibly some chav getting attacked by another chav. there may have a hundred reasons why that poor girl got assaulted but the chances of it happening to you are tiny in reality. Its the fear of it happening that is the problem. People are more afraid now then in the past.

take some sensible precautions and then forget about it because fear will eat you up and paralyze you.

TeletextPear

Maybe ring your boyfriend or a friend as you get off the bus and talk to them until you get into your house. Being on the phone could deter an attacker from approaching you and, god forbid, something did happen, at least your friend/bf would know straight away.

The Big Red Button

TeletextPear wrote: »

Maybe ring your boyfriend or a friend as you get off the bus and talk to them until you get into your house. Being on the phone could deter an attacker from approaching you and, god forbid, something did happen, at least your friend/bf would know straight away.

I think that it's usually advised NOT to use your phone in these situations. You're more likely to be attacked if the person thinks that you're distracted.

Animord

I have been attacked three times - all in London - and the one thing I would say apart from what the others have said is TRUST YOUR INSTINCT.

If I had only done that I would never have been dragged down an alleyway in the dark with a knife held to my throat. Every time it happened I knew on some level that things weren't right. After the third time I took no chances and didn't worry about looking stupid or making an eejit of myself. Cross the road, knock on someones door, whatever it takes.

Mrs Garth Brooks

I went out with my sister during the week. She wore shoes with a bit of a heel. Im always in runners, even a plain black pair without nike logos and the likes for going out. I think its ok as im always wearing pants.

But the shoes my sister wore slowed her down. She wears her bag over her shoulder, so its hard for a thug to grab it. But I dont get the shoes. You can make a quick get away in runners.

ElleEm

I agree with loads of the above comments.
Stay alert, no earphones, hold your head high and stay aware of your surroundings/ people.
Trust your gut! I saw once on TV (prob Oprah) that if you feel someone is watching you/ following you, take out your phone and have a loud "conversation" with someone saying exactly where you are, and that you will be with them in a couple of mins, or even say you can see them up ahead, will meet them halfway there etc.

I have never been attacked, but I absorb all the things I learnt over the years and it defo makes me feel safer.

As another poster said, if you have a gut feeling something isn't right, knock on someone's door, or catch up with another pedestrian and ask can you walk with them. I actually had someone do this to me once getting off a bus.

SarahBeep!

One of the best pieces of advice I was given is walk with purpose. Head high, shoulders back.and at a decent pace. If you look like you've nowhere to be it looks like nobody will miss you. The stronger you look, the less likely you are to be attacked.

Tea-a-Maria

Don't have any tips to add for walking home,but in relation to taxis,I always call or text someone to let them know I'm on the way home, and write down the reg number of the taximan on my phone.

You hear too many stories of bad things happening to women in taxis to be complacent.:(

RacoonQueen

Tea-a-Maria wrote: »

You hear too many stories of bad things happening to women in taxis to be complacent.:(

Very rare to hear of stories of things happening to girls in taxis. Could you explain this please?

Long, long time since I've heard a story regarding a taxi driver.

mood

Frogeye wrote: »

I think you may be over reacting to be honest. Not making light of your concerns or the assault on the poor girl but its extremely unlikely to happen to you. there must be thousands of women passing through that bus stop every year. You have heard of just one assault, the nature of which seems unclear ( possibly sexual, possibly a mugging, possibly some chav getting attacked by another chav. there may have a hundred reasons why that poor girl got assaulted but the chances of it happening to you are tiny in reality. Its the fear of it happening that is the problem. People are more afraid now then in the past.

take some sensible precautions and then forget about it because fear will eat you up and paralyze you.

I don't. Most sexual assults go unreported there the stats don't reflect reality.

krankykitty

mood wrote: »

I don't. Most sexual assults go unreported there the stats don't reflect reality.

And most are perpetrated by people the victim knows, as far as I am aware, not strangers on the street at night.

mood

krankykitty wrote: »

And most are perpetrated by people the victim knows, as far as I am aware, not strangers on the street at night.

Yes a high percentage are but that doesn't mean a woman shouldn't be concerned and try to be as careful as possible.

krankykitty

mood wrote: »

Yes a high percentage are but that doesn't mean a woman shouldn't be concerned and try to be as careful as possible.

No, certainly important to be safety aware. But also no need to worry out of proportion to the risk.

ElleEm

ElleEm wrote: »

take out your phone and have a loud "conversation" with someone saying exactly where you are, and that you will be with them in a couple of mins, or even say you can see them up ahead, will meet them halfway there etc.

do not do this. keep your phone in your handbag/pocket where ever,people are robbed for their phones. no point in advertising your goods.

mikemac1

Tea-a-Maria wrote: »

Don't have any tips to add for walking home,but in relation to taxis,I always call or text someone to let them know I'm on the way home, and write down the reg number of the taximan on my phone.

You hear too many stories of bad things happening to women in taxis to be complacent.:(

If you use that Hailo app you have the drivers plate number, name and photo all sent to your phone before you even get the car

Not advertising the service, just safety is one if its selling points

And I can't remember any stories in the last few years about taxi drivers attacking girls

mood

mikemac1 wrote: »

If you use that Hailo app you have the drivers plate number, name and photo all sent to your phone before you even get the car

Not advertising the service, just safety is one if its selling points

And I can't remember any stories in the last few years about taxi drivers attacking girls

I didn't know that. It's a great idea.

I felt very unsafe in a taxi once. It was about years ago but I got out of the taxi early and got a different one the rest of the way home. The driver was vert creepy and very interested in how much I had to drink. I really think I had a lucky escape.

Oh, a friend had to call the guards after a taxi driver followed her home. She got out at a pub and pretended she was going in to get away from him. He was very abusive. It's a good idea to stick to a company you use regularly if at all possible.

Frogeye

mood wrote: »

I don't. Most sexual assults go unreported there the stats don't reflect reality.

agreed, but the OP didn't specify any details of the assault. Could have been a rape, could have been one girl pushing another girl over some tinker with his trackie pants tucked into his socks. Assault is quite a vague term but don't let the lack of details or a full story stop you over reacting!

mood

Frogeye wrote: »

agreed, but the OP didn't specify any details of the assault. Could have been a rape, could have been one girl pushing another girl over some tinker with his trackie pants tucked into his socks. Assault is quite a vague term but don't let the lack of details or a full story stop you over reacting!

I know but it is always better to be as safety conscience as possible.

Starokan

Being vigilant is the most important part of staying safe, dont be afraid to change your normal route or routine , if you feel threatened in any way by a group or individual that is coming towards you or ahead of you then walk a different direction if possible. If in a city centre or town and there is a pub or the like nearby, walk in and call a taxi or friend to collect you.

Our instincts very often serve us well in this regard, it is hard to judge and yes you can be over cautious but better safe than sorry. The danger of being attacked for both women and men is far greater at night, you can diminish the chances by staying with a group instead of walking home alone, stay away from the volatile areas such as outside fast food restaurants etc and if possible get a taxi to collect you from whatever premises you are in

LenaClaire

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Very rare to hear of stories of things happening to girls in taxis. Could you explain this please?

Long, long time since I've heard a story regarding a taxi driver.

I was attacked by a taxi driver in the states, I managed to get away but it freaked me out. I always write down the taxi number now or text it to my husband.

It is statistically rare but it does happen.

angeldelight

I think being vigilant is key. If you're walking with your head up and listening you'll get an earlier warning that something is amiss and will have time to formulate a response, rather than being engrossed in a phone call where the first thing you know that someone is following you being when they knock you flying. What my mam always told me is don't be afraid of looking "foolish" - if you feel unsafe, knock on a door, scream, run.. Don't walk along knowing in your gut that something's wrong with your head down hoping that you're wrong and not wanting to make a fuss if you are.. Gut instinct is quite often right and so what if you make a fuss and it turns out the person didn't intend you any harm - it's better than staying quiet if they do

Honey-ec

This was done to death in the wake of Jill Meagher's death. "Stranger Danger" is grossly exaggerrated and the sad truth is that if you're going to be assaulted, it's far more likely to be at the hands of a partner or someone you know.

Exercise a bit of cop on, be aware of your surroundings, trust your instincts, but live your life, for God's sake.

redappple

It's a little unfair to tell OP that she is over reacting. She is asking for advice, and although I don't agree with spreading unnecessary paranoia and fear - it's good for women to discuss this issue, if it only saves one person from being attacked or raped. A few years ago I saw a documentary which was an interview with convicted rapists. Basically they told the interviewer what would put them off attacking a woman and what would make them more likely to attack. I had a quick Google search but I can't find it, however if others can find a link it would be great.


Sometimes I work late and end up walking about 5-10 minute walk to the car park. Some things I can remember from the documentary were:

1) Carry your keys. These can be used as a weapon. The rapist said they would be scared to attack a woman carrying keys as she could gouge their eyes.

2) Contrary to other advice above, ring someone. Be seen to be on the phone to someone. Tell them you are walking from the office to the car park. I always do this. I honestly wouldn't mind having my phone robbed if it meant I was deterring a rapist.

3) I also take the route with the most people, and then the route best lit up. No point taking the well lit up route if there is nobody there.

4) Finally, if I ever find myself parked close to the office and see women walking alone to the car park late at night I offer them a lift.

These are just my ideas and I know some people will disagree with me but regardless of flashlights, keys, phones or no phones the most valuable weapon is cop on. Follow your gut instincts, if you don't feel safe, knock on a strangers door or stay is a safe place and ring someone to collect you.

LadyMayBelle

I always carry my keys on me when walking home late;I have done out of habit for years now having heard they can be used as a weapon if attacked and it could be your only chance of making a mark on someone if attacked.

Might sound funny but if I have to walk home late at night, I'll walk right down the middle of the road (not a busy road; Im in London and there's lots of residential areas I have to walk down) I walk with a purpose, no headphones, keys in hand and confidently right down the middle of the road where it's well lit and away from bushes/gardens.

Ill text my boyf and say 'Leaving X now' which gives him a rough indication as to where I should be and when. He does the same.

I have been appraoched by a girl when I was walking home one night just as we were leaving the station. She asked could she walk with me because she felt nervous on her own; it was a tough judgement call because for all I knew she could have been part of a group waiting to mug me round the corner, but I trusted my instinct and she didnt mug me, but she said was just glad there was two of us as she didnt like that walk home. I'd err on the side of caution tho.

eviltwin

I always wear flats when I am out walking alone or bring a pair with me I can change into when a night out is over.

I leave my coat open even in winter, its easier if someone grabs your arm to get out of an open coat or jacket than one that is closed tight.

Honey-ec

I don't even own a pair of flats. I'm not changing my entire lifestyle based on the absolutely miniscule chance of being attacked by a stranger on the way home.

Something that I think is brilliant, my oldest daughter went to a stay safe talk when she was in college and one of the thing they told her was if you can, kick a parked car as that usually sets off the car alarm and the noise can be en ought to alert someone or be enough to unbalance the attacker and have them run off.

redappple

Honey-ec wrote: »

I don't even own a pair of flats. I'm not changing my entire lifestyle based on the absolutely miniscule chance of being attacked by a stranger on the way home.

This! You are me!

I despise flats, or else I despise me in flats. And there is absolutely nothing that is going to change that!!!!!

RacoonQueen

LenaClaire wrote: »

I was attacked by a taxi driver in the states, I managed to get away but it freaked me out. I always write down the taxi number now or text it to my husband.

It is statistically rare but it does happen.

In Ireland though, all Irish taxi drivers anyway are garda vetted. The problem with foreign taxi drivers is that things like sexual assaults etc may not be reported where they are from. When did we last hear of an assault by an Irish taxi driver? I've talked to taxi drivers about it and they all have a very irrational fear of being accused of sexual assault, especially when a drunk girl falls asleep and they have to figure out how to wake her without touching her.

I have an alarm like this http://www.safe-girl.co.uk - that my parents got me to bring running with me. Have never actually used it(or brought it out with me) but if you were to be attacked and weren't too shocked to use it it might be enough to deter an attacker(similar to kicking the car idea)

I'm with honey on this though, you can't be worrying about this sort of stuff. I've seen girls get into a tizzy over nothing.

The Big Red Button

redappple wrote: »

1) Carry your keys. These can be used as a weapon. The rapist said they would be scared to attack a woman carrying keys as she could gouge their eyes.

I tend to carry my keys in my hand if I'm feeling a bit nervous.

One thing I've read, though, is that you shouldn't sort of 'lace' the keys between your fingers, as is sometimes recommended, so that you can sort of stab the attacker with them. What I've heard is that, if you do this with any force, you'll end up breaking your fingers. Yuck!

redappple wrote: »

2) Contrary to other advice above, ring someone. Be seen to be on the phone to someone. Tell them you are walking from the office to the car park. I always do this. I honestly wouldn't mind having my phone robbed if it meant I was deterring a rapist.

What I've done before, is ring a person, tell them where I was, tell them I'm feeling a bit freaked out, and ask them to stay on the phone. Then put the phone in my pocket. At least, if something happened, I would've screamed and the person would know straight away where I was, and that I was in trouble.

If I was feeling vulnerable, I'd want all my senses to be available to me. The fact is that, if you're talking, you're less likely to hear someone coming up behind you (even if you're specifically trying to listen out for it.)

redappple wrote: »

3) I also take the route with the most people, and then the route best lit up. No point taking the well lit up route if there is nobody there.

I agree, and it's also very important to be conscious of who's around you. When walking alone, especially at night, I do my best to be really aware of anyone within eyesight walking in the same direction, and keep mental note of them, what they look like, what they're wearing, etc. That way, say if they disappeared but then reappeared again later in my journey, I'll know straight away.

redappple wrote: »

4) Finally, if I ever find myself parked close to the office and see women walking alone to the car park late at night I offer them a lift.

That's very good of you. I'm probably more paranoid than most. But I'd be a bit weirded out if someone did that to me. I just wouldn't get into a car with a stranger in a situation like that - how would you know that there wasn't someone in the back seat, or something?

(Of course, if you're talking about women that you actually know, that's completely different!)

redappple wrote: »

These are just my ideas and I know some people will disagree with me but regardless of flashlights, keys, phones or no phones the most valuable weapon is cop on. Follow your gut instincts, if you don't feel safe, knock on a strangers door or stay is a safe place and ring someone to collect you.

This is absolutely true.

I try to always have an 'emergency' tenner on me, the idea being that this will always get me a taxi to the nearest 'safe' place. I've used it a few times - I was never in any specific danger, but just didn't feel safe, and trusted my instincts.

I've had a couple of incidents myself in the past, and in hindsight, there was never anything specific I could have done at the time to avoid them. But it's just made me tend to avoid any unnecessary risks (such as walking alone at night), and it's also made me really aware of my instincts and my surroundings.

mood

Honey-ec wrote: »

This was done to death in the wake of Jill Meagher's death. "Stranger Danger" is grossly exaggerrated and the sad truth is that if you're going to be assaulted, it's far more likely to be at the hands of a partner or someone you know.

Exercise a bit of cop on, be aware of your surroundings, trust your instincts, but live your life, for God's sake.

Just because some people what to try to be a bit safer doesn't mean they are not living their life.

Red Alert

I'd strongly advise leaving the headphones at home, or not using them when you're walking. I was mugged for my phone about two weeks ago, and my instincts only kicked in too late because I wasn't aware of my surroundings.

Pythia

In terms of the taxi issue, if you use the Hailo app, you have the details of the taxi driver. This is peace of mind but also if you did ever lose anything, it's much easier to find them. The app also means you can stay in a safe place and let the taxi come to you rather than walking in the dark for one.

SparkySpitfire

krankykitty wrote: »

No, certainly important to be safety aware. But also no need to worry out of proportion to the risk.

Where was she worrying out of proportion to the risk?

Pj!

I'd get a cheap can of pepper spray. Keep it in your bag. You'll probably never take it out.
Someone mentioned it's illegal here but I wouldn't give a f*** to be honest. It's what I'd be getting for my daughter if there was any reason to worry.

shoos

RacoonQueen wrote: »

I have an alarm like this http://www.safe-girl.co.uk - that my parents got me to bring running with me. Have never actually used it(or brought it out with me) but if you were to be attacked and weren't too shocked to use it it might be enough to deter an attacker(similar to kicking the car idea)

My dad bought me one of these when I started going into town at night. 99% of the time I'm out I'm with friends from beginning to end so I don't bring it out with me, but the odd time I know I'll be getting Nitelink home alone, Ill have it in my bag and in my hand when I get off the bus. Got hassled by a guy who got off the same busstop as me one night and, while in hindsight I think he was actually just so drunk he didn't realise how scary his approach was, it made me wake up to the fact that had he tried anything I would have been completely helpless. Very scary.

I also let it off one time in my house to try it and MY GOD those things are loud, it'd echo through the streets. Gave me the fright of my life and I was the one that turned it on! I'd imagine it's a brilliant deterrent.

miss no stars

Animord wrote: »

I have been attacked three times - all in London - and the one thing I would say apart from what the others have said is TRUST YOUR INSTINCT.

This. Don't wait for evidence, you've evolved over millions of years to sense danger before it appears. Probably too late by the time your instincts can be confirmed.

I remember seeing something YEARS ago on TV that really highlighted it for me. When you watch documentaries about the animals in africa, say, and gazelles or whatever are grazing... [cut to shot of lioness hiding nearby out of sight of the gazelles]... they just up and bloody well leave before they even see confirmation that the lioness is there. They get a bad feeling about the situation, a feeling that SOMETHING is WRONG. They don't have to see the lioness to know that there's danger there. You have the same instincts. Trust them.

Anyway, when I read over this I realized that what I've written below might sound like I'm blowing my own stay-safe-survival ability, but I don't think it hurts to hear the experiences that other people have had - it wasn't meant in way other than that.

So, I was out in town the other night... Long night out, started early, ended up in a certain place with initials CFJ. Stopped drinking and went onto water about 75 minutes before I wanted to leave. (DO THIS, give yourself time to get back to your senses/lose the actively tipsy-ness before you have to get yourself home).

When I was leaving (0315) I kinda did a check of what state I was in and was confident that the walk to the nitelink (D'Oiler Street) was not beyond me (if I was in any way dubious it would have been a taxi to the nitelink, if I felt I wasn't up to the nitelink it would have been a taxi all the way home). I wouldn't normally even walk that distance regardless of whether I was stone cold sober or not, but I could see there were a LOT of people walking towards Grafton street, being between Christmas and New Years town was busy busy busy.

Halfway between Harcourt Street and Grafton street a guy approached me and asked if I knew where Grafton street is. My spidey-senses were already tingling about him because he was just standing on his own, facing the green, hands in pockets trying not to be noticed watching me approach.

So I pointed at it and he started walking towards it, then realized I wasn't following along with him. He looked back at me and asked if I was coming. I said calmly and assertively "No; not with you". He then started trying to cajole me along with all sorts of flattery, but I just calmly reiterated that I was NOT walking with him. He kinda shrugged, then went back to where he had been standing.

Got on to Grafton street and didn't like that my pace was being matched exactly by a guy who was just a little bit too directly behind me (my pace was slowed due to being on my feet all night so it was certainly not a normal pace for a guy). So, I turned around and took a good look at him. Might have looked crazy, but who cares? Anyway, he kinda laughed at me and asked "Something wrong baby?". I kept getting a good look at him and he picked up his pace and passed by me.

Was I in real danger either of those two times? Who knows??? Nobody knows so the best bet is to do whatever you can to protect yourself and to appear alert and well, too difficult a victim.

The first guy at best was a real creep who was just trying his chances and would have left me alone after a while, at worst he was a real predator. I was talking to my mum about it afterwards and without even having to think about it my own phrase was "It was just such predatory behaviour, waiting in a nightclub area for girls on their own." The more I think about it, the more it really does seem predatory. Maybe my instincts are way off, but I'd rather be called paranoid and hyper than be attacked. The second guy? Dunno. Probably wasn't up to anything (with the first guy I got a really strong bad feeling, not so much from the second guy but I was probably a bit over-sensitive after guy one). But I guess the point is, I was feeling unsafe and wasn't happy with how close to me he was walking (especially at the same pace) so I'd rather be proactive than react when it's too late.

I suppose my point is, I'm mid-20s and although I'd been drinking, I wasn't far off sober. I'd also say that my self confidence is high enough that I'm not afraid to look like a fool if it makes me stay safe. But what about the 18 year olds away at college who aren't used to being out on their own, who don't have anyone waiting at home for them, who don't even have an adult who knows they're out in town? I send texts to people (even if they're asleep, if I go missing there'll be a timeline in the morning) like "Leaving coppers now", "Waiting on nitelink", "on nitelink", "home safe, chat tomorrow", but if you're away from your parents for the first time, would you send those texts? It made me wonder about who followed after me on the green that night. I just hope it wasn't some kid(s) who was/were out of it and didn't have the maturity/sense/confidence to trust their instincts.

Trust your instincts.

TheJinMu

Frogeye wrote: »

the chances of it happening to you are tiny in reality.

Really?? Ever hear of the phrase, "you always think 'Sure it will never happen to me!' " with regard to attacks, diseases, anything bad really!? There's still a chance!?

And the one's who said they wouldn't give up their heels for anything, I'm all for looking great in a pair of heels, (though I never wear them myself, I agree they're hot!) but you wouldn't sacrifice them if it stopped you being attacked/ abused...??

The advice here is brilliant though. I walked home alone too many times when I was in college, thinking I was great to be able to do that, oh how dumb I was :P I was grand, nothing ever happened thank god, but I would never do it now. Its great to have all the advice here, I will remember all these tips regardless!

Malari

TheJinMu wrote: »

Really?? Ever hear of the phrase, "you always think 'Sure it will never happen to me!' " with regard to attacks, diseases, anything bad really!? There's still a chance!?

And the one's who said they wouldn't give up their heels for anything, I'm all for looking great in a pair of heels, (though I never wear them myself, I agree they're hot!) but you wouldn't sacrifice them if it stopped you being attacked/ abused...??

The advice here is brilliant though. I walked home alone too many times when I was in college, thinking I was great to be able to do that, oh how dumb I was :P I was grand, nothing ever happened thank god, but I would never do it now. Its great to have all the advice here, I will remember all these tips regardless!

What about if you never left the house? That would reduce your chance of being attacked to almost zero. It's a case of balancing the risk against the quality of life. Yes, there's a chance, but there's also a chance of winning the lottery. There's a chance of being knocked down by a car every time you cross the road. If you are reasonably aware and careful there's no need to make drastic changes to your lifestyle to further minimise a risk that has a very low chance of happening anyway.

krankykitty

I think what bugs me about the bombardment of advice women get about keeping safe out on the streets (not talking about this thread specifically) is that it feels slightly misogynistic, like it's trying to control women in a way. Whereas, statistically, as far as I am aware (could be wrong mind you), a young man walking in the street at night is more likely to be assaulted than a young woman, yet the young men aren't loaded with this anxiety by society. I've heard before people saying they wouldn't go out at night alone, always make sure they go home in groups etc, which of course is common sense depending on the situation, but it also is a curtailment of your liberties as compared to men, who don't get these messages.

That's just my perception on it mind, and it doesn't mean that I go out and throw caution to the wind either..

mood

krankykitty wrote: »

I think what bugs me about the bombardment of advice women get about keeping safe out on the streets (not talking about this thread specifically) is that it feels slightly misogynistic, like it's trying to control women in a way. Whereas, statistically, as far as I am aware (could be wrong mind you), a young man walking in the street at night is more likely to be assaulted than a young woman, yet the young men aren't loaded with this anxiety by society. I've heard before people saying they wouldn't go out at night alone, always make sure they go home in groups etc, which of course is common sense depending on the situation, but it also is a curtailment of your liberties as compared to men, who don't get these messages.

That's just my perception on it mind, and it doesn't mean that I go out and throw caution to the wind either..

But if a young man is assaulted it is less likely to be a sexual assault. Also, he would be in a better position to defend himself as men are generally stronger etc than women.

Lagoona Blue

Be alert and aware of your surroundings . Use common sense . Iv'e never been one to listen to ipod when out walking , I like to hear what's going on around me . If someone is walking behind me , a quick glance over my shoulder to get a quick look at them , also tells them you know they are there. Never walk alone in the early hours of the morning , or down deserted streets or areas where you are out of view . If you are walking and there is a gang further up on your path , don't make eye contact and cross the road . when walking around a street corner always move out from the corner and take it wide so you have a full view . obvious things really . sorry if these have been mentioned before .

krankykitty

mood wrote: »

But if a young man is assaulted it is less likely to be a sexual assault. Also, he would be in a better position to defend himself as men are generally stronger etc than women.

They are - but if a man is attacking a man (which is the likely scenario) then that sort of rules that point out. I get the bit about sexual assault but that ties into the attitudes towards women thing also. It's something men aren't constantly being put in a state of fear about.

mood

krankykitty wrote: »

They are - but if a man is attacking a man (which is the likely scenario) then that sort of rules that point out. I get the bit about sexual assault but that ties into the attitudes towards women thing also. It's something men aren't constantly being put in a state of fear about.

I don't think it rules out my point. If a woman is assaulted by a man chances of him being stronger are very high so she most likely has little/no chance of defending herself. If a man is assaulted by another man there is a good chance he is as strong as his attacker so might stand a chance of defending himself.

Surely Women being as safe as possible is the most important thing here?

SparkySpitfire

Regardless of gender, one should know this kinda stuff. Women and men need to be careful when walking home alone, and it should be avoided if possible.