Bullying in the workplace

jessiejam

username345 wrote: »

Not if the action is physically uncalled for. Like Newton's Third Law, every action has an opposite and equal reaction. It's okay to intimidate somebody who intimidates you within legal parameters. Otherwise, No.

Maybe. But not everyone has a thick skin and is able to deal with intimidating anyone even though they maybe the victim of it.

Legal parameters or not.

jessiejam

username345 wrote: »

Possibly. I have bad news for you though. The company does not give a **** about you. Their bottom line is profit to their shareholders, everything else is basically a charade. If this individual has any clout in the company, you will lose, even if you are right. Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands. Within the law of course, unless exceptions apply.

I doubt many employees give a sh1t about the company either, once they get their pay check every week.

Roisy7

username345 wrote: »

Not if the action is physically uncalled for. Like Newton's Third Law, every action has an opposite and equal reaction. It's okay to intimidate somebody who intimidates you within legal parameters. Otherwise, No.

Ok. But do you not see that spreading rumours etc that you mentioned in your first post as lowering yourself to the bullies' level?

You can still demonstrate that you won't take crap without resorting to bullying tactics.

CathyMoran

username345 wrote: »

Man up. If "workplace bullying" is high on your priorities list, you must lead a very sheltered life. As you stated, you are an adult. Act as such please. Bullying is easy enough to ignore. I just stonewall/outright ignore and treat with utter contempt anybody I percieve to be below me. I suggest you do the same.

You may think you have a problem. I suggest you walk around a long term hospital sometime. Those people have problems. Your problem is imaginary. A social construct. Sorry.

Have long term illnesses and am a survivor of a cancer with a very high mortality rate and I know that being badly bulled is far worse.

username345

jessiejam wrote: »

I doubt many employees give a sh1t about the company either, once they get their pay check every week.

The difference is that the employee stands to lose a lot more than the employer. Believe me when I say slavery never went away, they just changed the definition for it.

jessiejam

username345 wrote: »

The difference is that the employee stands to lose a lot more than the employer. Believe me when I say slavery never went away, they just changed the definition for it.

All the employee will loose is their job. And possibly a charge for assault as they kick whomever in the balls on the way out the door. They'll probably keep their sanity and dignity by getting out of there though. Thats worth more than any poxy job IMO.

username345

CathyMoran wrote: »

Have long term illnesses and am a survivor of a cancer with a very high mortality rate and I know that being badly bulled is far worse.

Fair enough. But I still stand by my opinion. You should be commended formally for what you have gone through. I say this despite not knowing you.

Shryke

8 posts on this guy people! Are ye all new to the internet? Don't feed the troll.

username345

jessiejam wrote: »

All the employee will loose is their job. And possibly a charge for assault as they kick whomever in the balls on the way out the door. They'll probably keep their sanity and dignity by getting out of there though. Thats worth more than any poxy job IMO.

And possibly their only source of income. If an employer controls your income, you are a slave/serf. You can only be free by making money from other sources other than an employer. The trick to kicking them in the balls, is to do it quiet. They cannot convict you for which they cannot prove.

username345

Shryke wrote: »

8 posts on this guy people! Are ye all new to the internet? Don't feed the troll.

I ain't trolling. You confuse blunt truth with trolling. There is a difference.

Wompa1

Have had a few people act like that with me before. Undermining, making snide remarks, jeering etc. but it's always been women so I just put it down to cattyness. Not for that to start a sexist debate. Maybe I should look at things differently about how some people treat me

Madam_X

username345 wrote: »

I ain't trolling. You confuse blunt truth with trolling. There is a difference.

And you confuse your skewed take on things with "truth". To say intimidating, ridiculing, harassing, excluding of someone is always no big deal, easy to ignore, and a social construct (how intellectual :rolleyes:) is simply wrong.

jessiejam

username345 wrote: »

And possibly their only source of income. If an employer controls your income, you are a slave/serf. You can only be free by making money from other sources other than an employer. The trick to kicking them in the balls, is to do it quiet. They cannot convict you for which they cannot prove.

If an employer controls your income you are not a slave you are an employee. If the employer is taking advantage of you thats a different matter.
I can kick in the balls no problem and stay quiet, I doubt they could though:p

Shryke

username345 wrote: »

I ain't trolling. You confuse blunt truth with trolling. There is a difference.

Blunt truth? No, just blunt.

woodoo

username345 wrote: »

I ain't trolling. You confuse blunt truth with trolling. There is a difference.

Bullying is real and happens. You come across as someone who would bully someone and not realise you were affecting them.

Back to the topic, In a company i worked in about 10 years ago a temporary vacancy came up as a Team Leader, a fairly young girl was chosen to cover the role. A few of the girls in our team took umbrage with this decision and decided to get a petition going and ask everyone to sign it so the girl would be removed. I don't know the exact reason they disputed it. I never signed it but a few did, mainly the bullies and their underlings.

Anyway to my disgust the girl was taken out of the role and someone else was given it. Not one of the bullies though. The girl went off sick for a few months after that and came back to another department in the company. This company had a HR dept too.

Eoin

Merch wrote: »

that and few things here sound like constructive dismissal

Quite possibly - but it's worth keeping in mind that the burden of proof is on the employee to prove constructive dismissal (unlike unfair dismissal where the dismissal is automatically assumed unfair unless the employer proves otherwise).

username345 wrote:

If an employer controls your income, you are a slave/serf. You can only be free by making money from other sources other than an employer.

Even if you take away your hyperbole, there's can be a lot of upsides to being an employee (a lot of them because the government does not make it easy to be self employed or a small business owner).

cmv

i have been bullied at work for over ten years now i have tried for so long to make friends with this guy and for a short while he will back off but it always returns 2 years ago we went from a small 6 person office to a merged 60 person one with managers and team leaders. i thought maybe it would stop more fool me. this pig { i dont consider him a man in his 50s} hates me with a vengence im a 42yr old woman he makes comments about my weight my looks sneers at my work and will walk to my workspace and break wind undermines me in all aspects. but oh so subtle im a normal person i dont think ive ever hated anyone in my life, but i am starting to obsess about it now.so this week i had to contact local primary school about my 9yr old boy being bullied by 2 kids who find him wearing glasses offensive and i have just had enough i will keep a diary of every veiled insult and in a couple of months i will go sick and show them why and the only reason im doing it is because while my son feigned stomach aches and all sorts of illnesses his tears falling on the countertop last friday finished it for me if i cant stand up for myself what chance does he have

phoenix999

I got targeted by the school bully when I was in school (about 15 at the time). It was in a busy corridor at lunch time. I knew I would be a laughing stock after he got me in a headlock. I therefore grabbed him by the balls with both hands, he ended up on the grounded whining in agony. He didn't come near me again, and I felt 10 feet tall going hope that day Many people lack basic assertiveness skills. It should be thought at school.

Mince Pie

phoenix999 wrote: »

I got targeted by the school bully when I was in school (about 15 at the time). It was in a busy corridor at lunch time. I knew I would be a laughing stock after he got me in a headlock. I therefore grabbed him by the balls with both hands, he ended up on the grounded whining in agony. He didn't come near me again, and I felt 10 feet tall going hope that day Many people lack basic assertiveness skills. It should be thought at school.

Yeah I've done similar at school as well unfortunately it is rather frowned upon in the workplace and leads to dismissal for gross misconduct.

woodoo

cmv wrote: »

i have been bullied at work for over ten years now i have tried for so long to make friends with this guy and for a short while he will back off but it always returns 2 years ago we went from a small 6 person office to a merged 60 person one with managers and team leaders. i thought maybe it would stop more fool me. this pig { i dont consider him a man in his 50s} hates me with a vengence im a 42yr old woman he makes comments about my weight my looks sneers at my work and will walk to my workspace and break wind undermines me in all aspects. but oh so subtle im a normal person i dont think ive ever hated anyone in my life, but i am starting to obsess about it now.so this week i had to contact local primary school about my 9yr old boy being bullied by 2 kids who find him wearing glasses offensive and i have just had enough i will keep a diary of every veiled insult and in a couple of months i will go sick and show them why and the only reason im doing it is because while my son feigned stomach aches and all sorts of illnesses his tears falling on the countertop last friday finished it for me if i cant stand up for myself what chance does he have

How can he get away with that? Have you complained.

StinkyMunkey

I have suffered similar situations, but not to such an extent.

Once had an assistant manager who had his little click, small job as well. I seen it for what it was, didn't bother me being excluded from the click, didn't much think of the people anyway.

One day he caught me in a bad mood, and started his usual ****e, trying to mock or belittle. I turned around and told him "get out of my face, or ill break yours", true to being a bully (never physical or threatening), he backed off and looked at me a little different after that. I knew he bad mouthed me, but never to my face , didn't lose sleep over it tbh.

Like I said, it wasn't constant or regular, just annoying.

I'm older and wiser now, I can't be bullied cause I just don't take **** from anyone. Ill take a bollicking when it's deserved and put my head down and accept my telling off. I don't suffer fools gladly.

messrs

am currently suffering bullyin in my workplace :mad: its horrible, i have complained about it to my direct managers but they not doing anything about it, its horrible, i shouldnt be going into work and sitting at my desk crying, i know i shouldnt let them get to me but its very hard not to let it all upset me.
i was bullied badly in school and thought it was all behind me and then i have to face this in work on a daily basis.

StinkyMunkey

messrs wrote: »

am currently suffering bullyin in my workplace :mad: its horrible, i have complained about it to my direct managers but they not doing anything about it, its horrible, i shouldnt be going into work and sitting at my desk crying, i know i shouldnt let them get to me but its very hard not to let it all upset me.
i was bullied badly in school and thought it was all behind me and then i have to face this in work on a daily basis.

Keep a journal, with times, dates and names. If you have a HR dept, bring it to them. If not bring it to the directors attention and tell them you mean business and have documented the bullying.

You either leave the job, in that case they will prolly pick some poor other bastard to pick on.

Or run amok and make it clear you are sick and are prepared to have someone head on a block (easier said than done I know). This approach will take some building up too. What's to worrying about, the bullies won't like you or you will be known as a rat. I say fuk em, let them cry behind your back, they will keep their thoughts clear of you if it means their job.

I hate a bully, and generally go out of my way to fuk em over.

gozunda

StinkyMunkey wrote: »

Keep a journal, with times, dates and names. If you have a HR dept, bring it to them. If not bring it to the directors attention and tell them you mean business and have documented the bullying.

You either leave the job, in that case they will prolly pick some poor other bastard to pick on.

Or run amok and make it clear you are sick and are prepared to have someone head on a block (easier said than done I know). This approach will take some building up too. What's to worrying about, the bullies won't like you or you will be known as a rat. I say fuk em, let them cry behind your back, they will keep their thoughts clear of you if it means their job.

I hate a bully, and generally go out of my way to fuk em over.

Agreed :cool:

Problem is most companies couldnt give a proverbial...

Bullying will never be a victimless crime

Time we took bullying b*stards to task and criminalised this type of abuse
sooner the better imo

thomur

StinkyMunkey wrote: »

Keep a journal, with times, dates and names. If you have a HR dept, bring it to them. If not bring it to the directors attention and tell them you mean business and have documented the bullying.

You either leave the job, in that case they will prolly pick some poor other bastard to pick on.

Or run amok and make it clear you are sick and are prepared to have someone head on a block (easier said than done I know). This approach will take some building up too. What's to worrying about, the bullies won't like you or you will be known as a rat. I say fuk em, let them cry behind your back, they will keep their thoughts clear of you if it means their job.

I hate a bully, and generally go out of my way to fuk em over.

Agreed, I manage 40 people and I know that if someone complains to me about being bullied, I have to take it seriously. If you are not getting any satisfaction from your direct manager then record it, and go above their head. There is nothing worse than your bosses boss asking them if/why someone on your shift is being bullied. Otherwise join a union. Thats what they are for. Make sure you have your case on paper though with examples. If you cant provide clear(dated) examples then it wont be worth your time.Lifes too short to let muppets get away with bullying you.

Ranicand

doolox wrote: »

I have come across it several times and it has caused my worklife to be a mixed bag when it could have been much better.

Too late in life I was diagnosed with Aspergers at the ripe old age of 52 which is probably the oldest in Ireland.

I was also bullied at school and have experienced it in most places where I spent significant time with people in stressful situations.

I now am self employed and spend only 2 hours a week with any set of people in my work. I do not get to know people sufficiently well to give them ammunition to use against me in a bullying way. My newly acquired self knowledge allows me to see any form of bullying as what it is, of little real significance unless it affects my work or earnings. It can be hard to counteract as you dont want to come across as "awkward" or "sensitive".

Having a multitude of clients means that one bad natured one can be quickly replaced by other better ones over time. I am fortunate that my service is considered good and feedback on it has been generally favourable. Some clients have expressed reservations over my engagement with people but this is part of the Aspergers condition which is more difficult to correct easily. I have found that a lot of these disatisfied clients are also the ones with big quibbles over the fees charged so there you go, people with hidden agendas looking to save a buck by putting you down.........

At this stage I do not think I would go back to fulltime employment with a single employer as this would be giving too much power to one person over my life. Especially prevalent in this situation are small businesses or shops which seem to have more than their fair share of bullies, inappropriately appointed management and dysfunctional people management issues.

I know the feeling.

CrazyRabbit

I'm the Admin for the Vacation Request and Entitlement Tool. Nobody even glances at me the wrong way. Well...not since James found out he owed the company 64 vacation days in 2009. Or maybe it's because I'm a nice friendly guy. I'm not sure.

When younger, I was a huge target for bullies. I was small for my age, never stood up for myself, and was quite an introvert. Quite literally, I one day just decided not be a victim anymore. I started standing up the bullies, making fun of them, even throwing a few punches, and I grew in confidence (and bruises).
I have absolutely 0 tolerance for bullying now and will get involved whenever I see it. The best way to beat bullies is to not give them what they want (submission & anger), and to stand up to them. Baseball bats are also quite effective, though not so legal in that context.

In work of course, I use the internal procedures for handling bullying, and don't back down until I get a result. Stubbornness is something I have in abundance

messymess

6 pages and not one mention of the Employment Tribunal! Guys, if you're being bullied in the work place there are laws and processes setup to help combat it. I once heard (ironically, from a boss who bullied me) that the tribunal will side with the employee 9 out 10 times! Perhaps that was a statistic from his own personal experience.

But just remember you are not powerless because the law is on your side.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/employment/equality_in_work/bullying_in_the_workplace.html?tab

Frito

Would just like to add to those bullied that as well as documenting dates and comments of the bullying itself, it's worth considering sending emails soon after you have any face to face or telephone contact with managers or HR personnel about the bullying. This should include a synopsis of your grievance and any advice/action to follow, plus any dates they will meet you regarding the matter. For example,

Dear HR personnel,
Further to our meeting yesterday in which I outlined my concerns re X's behaviour in the workplace as follows...
I believe this constitutes bullying in the workplace (reference relevant policy). I understand that according to policy, you will be embarking on X course of action and have advised me to do X during this process. I await further contact from you on such date as agreed.
Yours etc

This is helpful should you feel HR have mismanaged the situation as it provides an electronic record of the minutes of any meetings you have should you need to go above your employer. It's easy to dispute what was said in meetings or phone calls, but if you email the minutes, they can reply should they dispute it. And if they don't reply, then it's harder to dispute later.

gozunda

Frito wrote: »

Would just like to add to those bullied that as well as documenting dates and comments of the bullying itself, it's worth considering sending emails soon after you have any face to face or telephone contact with managers or HR personnel about the bullying. This should include a synopsis of your grievance and any advice/action to follow, plus any dates they will meet you regarding the matter. For example,

Dear HR personnel,
Further to our meeting yesterday in which I outlined my concerns re X's behaviour in the workplace as follows...
I believe this constitutes bullying in the workplace (reference relevant policy). I understand that according to policy, you will be embarking on X course of action and have advised me to do X during this process. I await further contact from you on such date as agreed.
Yours etc

This is helpful should you feel HR have mismanaged the situation as it provides an electronic record of the minutes of any meetings you have should you need to go above your employer. It's easy to dispute what was said in meetings or phone calls, but if you email the minutes, they can reply should they dispute it. And if they don't reply, then it's harder to dispute later.

I agree - a paper trail is essential. If they Then ignore the issue - follow through as required.... It's only when it hurts them in the pocket that any real justice can be achieved under the present system. Personally I would canvas for custodial sentences for all serious cases of psychological assault which results in actual harm to the individual.