Bullying in the workplace

kerry4sam

I have been the victim of bullying in one particular place of work, even in very recent times, eventhough I am a grown adult!

I realise that some people don't fully understand bullying, in all its forms, and may believe that what they are doing is harmless and not doing any harm. Sure, ain't it all a laugh at the end of the day eh?!

In one particular place of work I have been abused verbally, ignored, insulted, intimidated, undermined and belittled. That may not, by some to mean anything but over a period of nearly 2-years now, eventhough I am in a job that I thoroughly enjoy and wanted to be in since I was a child, it is just gone beyond a joke!

Yes there are Procedures and Protocols in place, but when even the senior and superior staff are also involved in some of the above, and more then tolerate and accept the above due to very close relationships they have with the people involved, those procedures and protocols mean little to nothing.

If you have been subjected to any of the above, never mind all of the above, and maybe even more/worse, then you would have a very good idea of how that feels. Having been subjected to the above over a prolonged period is just no fun!

Have you ever gone in to work and be ignored for hours on end, and hear your work-colleagues jeer and mock and insult you and your work position? Have you any idea even of how that would even feel like? Have you ever been verbally abused by work colleagues and have that behaviour deemed acceptable, because you're in a junior position and they have a problem with your position being there?

If you are currently doing any of the above to anyone, would you please just think again, possibly stop your antics, think about the effects it will be having on that person. Please?!

I am posting in here to gain as varied a response as possible, but mainly to highlight the issue of Bullying in the Workplace! I am seeing little to no point in speaking to any more superiors when some, even with years and years of work under their belts tolerate this behaviour and see it as okay, no bother, so long as their very close personal relationships remain in tact!

What would you do in this situation?
Just walk away and pitch it all to hell, allowing them to actually undermine there very core in allowing this continue to others;or fight this in the hope of preventing another from going through the same.

If you have been subjected to any form of bullying and would like to comment or share your own experiences, by all means do so

If you don't and would like to ask me anything on the subject, then within reason I would like to answer. I may not be in a position to answer all questions in full, but I will do my best anyway.

Bullying in the workplace in 2012 should not be tolerated by anyone, but it is! I can say for certain that it is! I've experienced all of the above over the last nearly 2-years each time I went in to that particular place of work. Should bullying in the workplace be tolerated? Anyone care to answer? Is all or any of the above acceptable behaviour does anyone feel?

(I have another job and don't experience any of the above btw)

paddy147

Just do this to anyone who bullies you.:D



Bad Santa.

BillyMitchel

Never experienced myself but I have witnessed it. A part time 18 yr old or so was bullying the crap out of a 30 something year old man. It was absolutely disgusting. He would go home crying some days. If I remember correctly he might of left.

If your bosses know and don't do anything I'd seriously seek legal advice. There is no way an employee should feel like he is being bullied. You are not in the wrong here, tell every possible superior you can.

If all else fails chin the kant and chin him hard. If you lose your job go get more legal advice and if you have evidence that you told your bosses and they done nothing, well there will only be one winner.

Chin the kant anyway, it's all bullies deserve.

im invisible

lifes too short to be dealing with that every day, leave, quit, find another job. but make sure the boss knows exactly why you're leaving

Canis Lupus

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Never experienced myself but I have witnessed it. A part time 18 yr old or so was bullying the crap out of a 30 something year old man. It was absolutely disgusting. He would go home crying some days. If I remember correctly he might of left.

If your bosses know and don't do anything I'd seriously seek legal advice. There is no way an employee should feel like he is being bullied. You are not in the wrong here, tell every possible superior you can.

If all else fails chin the kant and chin him hard. If you lose your job go get more legal advice and if you have evidence that you told your bosses and they done nothing, well there will only be one winner.

Chin the kant anyway, it's all bullies deserve.

So what did you do to help the victim?

aaronjumper

At the risk of sounding stupid here, is there anyone above the people involved you could contact? Like a manager or some such?

Canis Lupus

I reckon if you go into work, you're ignored, jeered and mocked then your colleagues are probably trying to tell you something.....

Where To

When I was young(jaysus nearly twenty years ago:o) I was working in a place where the bosses' sister was giving another girl a real hard time. Nice as pie to everyone else, of course, but I seen her true colours and the way she treated this other girl one day when she didn't know I was around.

Anyways, as I was in a fairly unsackable position in the firm (I knew where all the bodies were buried:pac:) I confronted the boss and her sister together and told them it had to stop ('your sister's nothing but a ****ing tramp' I think were my exact words).

The bullying of the other girl stopped after that, but the bully turned their attention to me. No problem, I thought, I can handle it. I was wrong. I had been both bullied and a bully at school but it was nothing like the constant grinding, berating, condescending, wearing away of your sanity that a truly sadistic bully can inflict on you. In my case, it wasn't fear or anger or anything like that went through my head, just complete and total frustation.

Anyway, came to a head one day when I just had enough and raised my hand to her, I was less than half a second away from hitting her, I knew it had to stop then. So I went back to the boss and gave an ultimatum, she went or I went. She went, I stayed, and from what I hear she's still a nasty piece of work now.

I've written all this and just realised my story probably doesn't help the OP one iota, sorry.

aaronjumper

Not at all, its a good victory story, from where I am sitting. Justice served.

BillyMitchel

Canis Lupus wrote: »

So what did you do to help the victim?

Trying to imply that I stood there and done nothing??

I myself reported it to my superiors, got in lots of confrontation with my own line manger which nearly resulted in me losing my job. I had other arguments with the perpetrator that also nearly ended in physical fights. Arguments with lots of other staff that it was more than taking the Michael.

I gave all the advice and help I could to the victim, said I'd go witness or do what ever I could. I left before he did (moved country) and as far as I know it went on until he left.

Happy?

policarp

Bullying in the workplace or in school or anywhere for that matter, is something that in the old days wouldn't happen too often. If you had a big family, they would take care of bullies and everyone knows bullies are nearly always cowards when on their own.

kerry4sam

aaronjumper wrote: »

At the risk of sounding stupid here, is there anyone above the people involved you could contact? Like a manager or some such?

Not sounding stupid at all no. You would imagine so. Some at the senior level have partaken in some of the incidents I mentioned in my opening post. I know not to tar them all with the same brush - just a case now of trying to find the ones that are different and actually are in favour of this position being in place.

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I reckon if you go into work, you're ignored, jeered and mocked then your colleagues are probably trying to tell you something.....

yeah they are. It is a junior position that not all in the workplace wants in place. You are right there.

Canis Lupus

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Trying to imply that I stood there and done nothing??

I myself reported it to my superiors, got in lots of confrontation with my own line manger which nearly resulted in me losing my job. I had other arguments with the perpetrator that also nearly ended in physical fights. Arguments with lots of other staff that it was more than taking the Michael.

I gave all the advice and help I could to the victim, said I'd go witness or do what ever I could. I left before he did (moved country) and as far as I know it went on until he left.

Happy?

Your post suggested that you simply did nothing I'm all for some fun in work but yeah, wouldn't let anyone be bullied. Fortunately I've worked for companies where that stuff wouldn't be tolerated.

starviewadams

If this is in the occupation I think you are talking about,then this is a difficult situation.Would there be any chance of a transfer to another location and a fresh start?reporting it higher up may just give your lovely colleagues more ammunition to use against you.

Failing that,just try to give back as much stick as you get and hope they get bored.

Pretty shítty though.

policarp

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Hey you Bully Mitchell,
Leave Kerry alone. . .

BillyMitchel

policarp wrote: »

Hey you Bully Mitchell,
Leave Kerry alone. . .

Dafuq??

Sorry haven't watched eastenders in a long time.

Billy being a horable kant? He still selling fruit and veg??

Optimalprimerib

I have been a victim of bullying in a few of my jobs, one of which I reported, which was done by one guy who always kept an entourage around him. The whole group then turned on me over this.

He used to sit in the canteen commenting on everyone who walked by and was reported by several people. If he found out, he and his buddies would mutter "squealer" subtlety enough but loud enough to be heard. It was surreal. Eventually he got the sack after years of this but it was not dealt with by management at all well.

orestes

Bullied as a kid: "don't mind them, you're not a freak, you're special"

Bullied as an adult: "Stand up for yourself you pussy"

Fukk that, psychological torture doesn't have an age limit.

Frank Black

Never been bullied nor would I bully anyone else in work or otherwise.
A couple of years ago, a collegue working on my team made a complaint of bullying against one of thier co-workers. He was a 6ft tall 40 year old man and she was a 5 foot nothing mid-20's girl. She denied she had done anything out of place btw. It was alleged that the bullying mostly took the form of exclusion and petty remarks.
There was a formal procedure undertaken.
The HR manager told me that 'bullying was defined by the perception of the person being bullied' or something like that - she explained that if someone thinks they are being bullied, then they are being bullied.
I never really understood this tbh. Could some people perceive bullying where none exists, and if so is this still bullying?

sparksfly

OP, I have witnessed similar carry on with a quiet chap in my workplace.
A self appointed comedian would pass "hilarious" comments on the lad and his brainless hangers on would laugh like hyenas. This was on a daily basis, it was merciless.
I changed onto their shift temporarily and copped this straight away. I am a team leader but was not in that role on their shift.
I told the chap he was being bullied, firstly to himself in private, then with his consent I said it to him again when in a crowd.
I suggested we go to HR and report it. The bullys immediatly protested their innocence and said it was harmless fun. Our company policy states that the concept of bullying is decided by the victim, not by the perpetrator. I made them aware of this.
The bullying stopped and those on the fringes went out of their way to condemn it.
OP, do not accept this carry on and dont let them ruin a job that you like.
See if your workplace has a company policy on bullying or respect in the workplace. Get one person that you like and trust to help you.
Go as high as is necessary to have this stopped. As soon as you are seen to be taking serious action, attitudes can change fairly quickly.

Wanderer2010

I have witnessed bullying in the workplace, and been a victim of it on several occasions. Where I work, a lot of the culture is dictated by how management feel about the workers, so a lot of the current supervisors used to work alongside the workers so they are still treated with kid gloves, despite claims that the bosses treat everyone the same, this is simply not the case. Some bosses used to be drinking buddies of the lads so they arent going to speak badly of them or pull them up on anything, therefore a lot of rule breaking is tolerated from them but for any new people who join they are berated and pulled up for the slightest error, which is complete double standards.

I have also seen workers make nasty remarks in the canteen about their team mates and its usually a loud mouth alpha who has a load of sheep around him and whats worse, some of the supervisors join in and laugh which is awful, I mean, if the supposed managers cant even give off a perception of fairness and equality, what hope have you when trying to invoke the policies ad procedures, all of which are a waste of paper because company culture is very hard to change and you making a complaint against them will work against you and not them (even if the managers claim to support you) so its mostly a case of try to get on with who you can and avoid the idiots.

cournioni

Never been a victim of it myself thankfully. Usually any confrontations or attempts at anything closely resembling bullying me have been met with the same if not more force in return but I am lucky enough that I am in the position where I can say what I like. That said, I have seen a bit of it happening to other people and I usually say something to the aggressor(s) if they are out of line and that is normally the end of it. It generally cools down quickly enough here without anything too personal being said.

Dyr

Ah yes, workplace bullying or "leadership" as it's known in Ireland

rgmmg

I was subjected to bullying when I worked at a bank as a cashier in Dublin. Only two people in the whole branch (of about 20) would talk to me. The rest would ignore anything I said. It was particularly embarrassing at drinks on Friday night (we got 2 free pints each) when no one would talk to me at all despite my efforts to talk with them. Anyway, I decided to always go to these drinks anyways to spite them. If they said anything nasty I would just act all shocked and be diplomatic about it. It used to drive them nuts but I enjoyed it in the end 

There is nothing worse than being in a workplace when you are bullied. Ideally, you could get it sorted by managers or whatever. Failing that, the only option is to leave which I know isn’t always easily done. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do. It might seem you're the only person in the world that feels bullied and isolated, but you’re not alone though.

tipptopper

Bambi wrote: »

Ah yes, workplace bullying or "leadership" as it's known in Ireland

There is this lass is my place of work who is attempting to bully me. She has previous for this kinda thing, she bullied the guy in the same position before me out of his job, seemingly the chap was ready to take his own life before he walked, such was the **** he had to endure from her.


I’ve taken over from him and was immediately warned by a person I became friendly with when I started what had happened the other guy so I knew the warning signs. I’m in the job 3 years and not a problem until say the last 2 months when I started to notice little jibes.

I’m never late for work ever, in fact I’m nearly always a half an hour early, I like to get settled, have a cup of tea, that sort of thing, but the minute my pc hits 5pm, I’m out of there like a shot.

So over the past 2 months she been sayings things like “oh, his on the runway, stand back and let him out” or “must be time, himself is away” or “leaving already”.. Stupid things I know but that’s how it started with the last guy, little things to start off with to get inside your head, the it gets worse gradually over time.

This is in front of other people in the office, I’m lucky enough I have my own office, she and 5 others are in an open plan just off mine, so when I step out of my office, it’s then she starts. Loves to be heard, tries to get everyone to have a little skit at my expense.


Things came to a head last week, I was going to Manchester for a meeting so didn’t need to arrive in the office till 10am, had it cleared with the MD so everything was fine. Walked in to the office to the following:


Her; (jokingly but serious if you know what I mean) what time do you call this coming in to work, why haven’t you rang in?? she starts to laugh, looking at everyone for a reaction.

So, after all her snide comments this was my chance to put her in her place I’m thinking once and for all.

ME: Beth, the day I have to answer to you in this office will be my last, I don’t answer to you, you’re not my boss, keep your nose in your own business and out of mine ok?

By now the silence was deafening, I could feel everyone’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my head, general manager included.

So I keep going now I’m on a role;

Beth for the past 2 months or so I’ve listened to your snide comments, I believe you are known for this type of conduct in the past, you bullied the last guy out of his job but I can tell you this much, you won’t bully me. So passing snide remarks about what time I leave at and trying to get a laugh from the others at my expense can stop right now, if I hear 1 more snide remark, I’ll be reporting it in writing to the MD, is that clear..


She was as red as beetroot at this stage, her mouth ready to hit the floor, she actually couldn’t speak so I walked to my office and closed the door.
Since then, general manager asked me if I wanted to make a complaint, he said he can’t stand her and was delighted I put her in her place.


Needless to say there has been no more snide remarks and is as nice as pie. Bullies of course are cowards when you stand up to them, they **** themselves when they are brought to task. They are weak pathetic people who try to pick on people they think are weaker than them to boost their own ego.


Stand up to these ****ers, don’t let them walk on top of you. Life is too short to let a c.u.n.t bring you down to their pathetic level.

Thank you if you are still reading this long post, it felt good reliving that day

stinkle

that's brilliant tipptopper!

unfortunately I've experienced bullying in the workplace too. As someone who was also bullied in school for a bit, it really affects your self-esteem (and in my experience makes you thing YOU are to blame, that you somehow "attract" this unwanted behaviour").

I got it in the neck from a boss, which brings a whole new level of complexity to the situation. Most workmates were fine, but there was a bit of a clique that brown-nosed the boss a bit and I suppose didn't like to be associated with any of the victims so there was an "us and them" mentality about the place too, which made things uncomfortable.

At the moment, in my current job I've started experiencing some hostility from co-workers - apart from one notable incident it's nothing too obvious, just general obstruction to my day-to-day work (deliberately vague information, not following through on stuff we should be co-operating on, etc). A few other people have experienced this in the past and something is being done at the moment which is great. I don't feel particularly bullied, just frustrated, but the behaviour is classed as bullying alright.

As it happens, I was at a talk recently about bullying in the workplace (coincidentally!) and one of the points that struck me was that people who are conscientious often get bullied. With respect to Irish workplaces, another poster said bullying was typical Irish "leadership" behaviour and I'm inclined to agree with them - but when you also factor in Irish begrudgery you can see how a culture can exist in certain workplaces here. In all my jobs and even in school I've just got on with the task at hand, was never arrogant or in anyone's face about anything, and yet have experienced bullying. Perhaps I come across as quietly confident or something that others perceive as a threat, but it certainly isn't the case.

Irishcrx

Yeah I've seen it happen more than the once , the last company I worked for it happend. Very big well known company , the manager of our division was/is a complete toerag c*** , she hired in a girl for a position and just bullied and abused her from day one, gavde her no support or proper job position.

The girl would be caught crying several times throughout the day , now fair enough she did make mistakes but it was more down to not knowing exactly what she was meant to be doing as opposed to it being directly her fault. Your woman was just looking for a reason to fire her so kept on the case all day every day and eventually got her way. They sacked her after her 6 month probation. I'd already left at that point as I couldn't stick the horrible bitch any more I had come to blows with her a few times so I knew I had to get out before she brought me down. I did and got a great job that I love now.

But I do think what ended up happening to the girl , felt very sorry for her she left a very good job to go there thinking it would be a great move and got shafted the minute she got in and sacked. Awful awful stuff and I've made sure everyone in my industry knows the type she is.

kerry4sam

starviewadams wrote: »

If this is in the occupation I think you are talking about,then this is a difficult situation.Would there be any chance of a transfer to another location and a fresh start?reporting it higher up may just give your lovely colleagues more ammunition to use against you.

Failing that,just try to give back as much stick as you get and hope they get bored.

Pretty shítty though.

You say 'pretty ****ty' but I call it education that this is how they treat their own. I've seen what happens first-hand, I've seen how little it matters that this happens and I've seen how little procedures and protocols matter when you have the connections and the very close relationships with the right senior staff - you can bully and abuse anyone you want.

Yeah, I call that education. Just a shame that when others apply, this isn't even in the small-print for them to read.

admiralofthefleet

i worked in a printing factory when i was 17, i was only called by my name by my cousin who got me the job. when i complained to my supervisor about the name calling he started calling me the names as well. i was told that i was stupid, retarded and hadnt a clue. the reason i suppose was because refused to operate machinery without proper training (which i never recieved, it was just 'this is how you switch it on ect ect....)
i eventually walked and was only told afterwards that there was a union in the job that i was never told about. i was on £2 an hour as well

admiralofthefleet

tipptopper wrote: »

There is this lass is my place of work who is attempting to bully me. She has previous for this kinda thing, she bullied the guy in the same position before me out of his job, seemingly the chap was ready to take his own life before he walked, such was the **** he had to endure from her.


I’ve taken over from him and was immediately warned by a person I became friendly with when I started what had happened the other guy so I knew the warning signs. I’m in the job 3 years and not a problem until say the last 2 months when I started to notice little jibes.

I’m never late for work ever, in fact I’m nearly always a half an hour early, I like to get settled, have a cup of tea, that sort of thing, but the minute my pc hits 5pm, I’m out of there like a shot.

So over the past 2 months she been sayings things like “oh, his on the runway, stand back and let him out” or “must be time, himself is away” or “leaving already”.. Stupid things I know but that’s how it started with the last guy, little things to start off with to get inside your head, the it gets worse gradually over time.

This is in front of other people in the office, I’m lucky enough I have my own office, she and 5 others are in an open plan just off mine, so when I step out of my office, it’s then she starts. Loves to be heard, tries to get everyone to have a little skit at my expense.


Things came to a head last week, I was going to Manchester for a meeting so didn’t need to arrive in the office till 10am, had it cleared with the MD so everything was fine. Walked in to the office to the following:


Her; (jokingly but serious if you know what I mean) what time do you call this coming in to work, why haven’t you rang in?? she starts to laugh, looking at everyone for a reaction.

So, after all her snide comments this was my chance to put her in her place I’m thinking once and for all.

ME: Beth, the day I have to answer to you in this office will be my last, I don’t answer to you, you’re not my boss, keep your nose in your own business and out of mine ok?

By now the silence was deafening, I could feel everyone’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my head, general manager included.

So I keep going now I’m on a role;

Beth for the past 2 months or so I’ve listened to your snide comments, I believe you are known for this type of conduct in the past, you bullied the last guy out of his job but I can tell you this much, you won’t bully me. So passing snide remarks about what time I leave at and trying to get a laugh from the others at my expense can stop right now, if I hear 1 more snide remark, I’ll be reporting it in writing to the MD, is that clear..


She was as red as beetroot at this stage, her mouth ready to hit the floor, she actually couldn’t speak so I walked to my office and closed the door.
Since then, general manager asked me if I wanted to make a complaint, he said he can’t stand her and was delighted I put her in her place.


Needless to say there has been no more snide remarks and is as nice as pie. Bullies of course are cowards when you stand up to them, they **** themselves when they are brought to task. They are weak pathetic people who try to pick on people they think are weaker than them to boost their own ego.


Stand up to these ****ers, don’t let them walk on top of you. Life is too short to let a c.u.n.t bring you down to their pathetic level.

Thank you if you are still reading this long post, it felt good reliving that day

you are my new hero

DeltaWhite

Yeah I get bullied by my boss, 3 years now it's been going on. There's nobody I can go to as she is the only boss and there's no HR department (small company) so I just get on with it, keep a bully diary of all info. And bide my time

I have tried my best to find employment elsewhere but as of yet I havent had any joy.



Good things come to those who wait


Ps.. Tipptopper.. you are a legend

tipptopper

Thanks to all for your thanks and comments, the sight of the oul bitch is enough to turn a horse from his oats, I can see her ugly mug as I type this message now, god I hate the sight of her !!

gate_keeper

in most places of work - business , bullies can abuse with immunity , most employers are somewhere between impotent and indifferent when it comes to adressing the concerns of the victims of bullying and as for HR

HR is excellent at engaging in various forms of spin , complain and you hear the following cliched soundbites trotted out

personality clash - translation = we think both of you are to blame so we will continue to sit on the fence

people managment = we will talk to the bully but we cant fire them because they might sue us and they deliver for the bottom line which is all we really care about


i was on this possition while working overseas a number of years ago , was twenty and naive , bully was a sectarian bigot , boss was a pushover who was afraid of the ghoul who tormented me night and day , spread maliscious false rumours about me and in the end forced me to resign and leave

my mistake was not running a mile the first day

doolox

I have come across it several times and it has caused my worklife to be a mixed bag when it could have been much better.

Too late in life I was diagnosed with Aspergers at the ripe old age of 52 which is probably the oldest in Ireland.

I was also bullied at school and have experienced it in most places where I spent significant time with people in stressful situations.

I now am self employed and spend only 2 hours a week with any set of people in my work. I do not get to know people sufficiently well to give them ammunition to use against me in a bullying way. My newly acquired self knowledge allows me to see any form of bullying as what it is, of little real significance unless it affects my work or earnings. It can be hard to counteract as you dont want to come across as "awkward" or "sensitive".

Having a multitude of clients means that one bad natured one can be quickly replaced by other better ones over time. I am fortunate that my service is considered good and feedback on it has been generally favourable. Some clients have expressed reservations over my engagement with people but this is part of the Aspergers condition which is more difficult to correct easily. I have found that a lot of these disatisfied clients are also the ones with big quibbles over the fees charged so there you go, people with hidden agendas looking to save a buck by putting you down.........

At this stage I do not think I would go back to fulltime employment with a single employer as this would be giving too much power to one person over my life. Especially prevalent in this situation are small businesses or shops which seem to have more than their fair share of bullies, inappropriately appointed management and dysfunctional people management issues.

Esoteric_

I've been bullied in a job before. Unfortunately, it wasn't 'normal' bullying, it involved physical and sexual aspects to it and went on for well over a year.

It got to the point where I had exhausted every complaint avenue, but as it was being done by someone in a higher position than me, nothing was done.

At this point, I was too afraid to work, but equally afraid to leave my job.

After a very stern talking to from my mother, she convinced me to quit. I set myself a target of three months to find a new job and quit. Unfortunately, a week later I was attacked by a colleague, ended up being signed off sick for months with trauma and depression and put on medication as a result and never went back.

ANYONE who is being bullied in the workplace needs to remember that, while you might need the money, your health and wellbeing is much more important. I compromised my health by staying in a place that was destroying me, don't be as silly as me. If you're being treated badly, complain or leave. Don't just let people away with it.

DeltaWhite

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I've been bullied in a job before. Unfortunately, it wasn't 'normal' bullying, it involved physical and sexual aspects to it and went on for well over a year.

It got to the point where I had exhausted every complaint avenue, but as it was being done by someone in a higher position than me, nothing was done.

At this point, I was too afraid to work, but equally afraid to leave my job.

After a very stern talking to from my mother, she convinced me to quit. I set myself a target of three months to find a new job and quit. Unfortunately, a week later I was attacked by a colleague, ended up being signed off sick for months with trauma and depression and put on medication as a result and never went back.

ANYONE who is being bullied in the workplace needs to remember that, while you might need the money, your health and wellbeing is much more important. I compromised my health by staying in a place that was destroying me, don't be as silly as me. If you're being treated badly, complain or leave. Don't just let people away with it.

:eek: omg that is shocking! You've really opened my eyes to what's going on in my place... I'm always sick at myself for letting this tyrant boss of mine get away with her bullying :mad:

Esoteric_

DeltaWhite wrote: »

:eek: omg that is shocking! You've really opened my eyes to what's going on in my place... I'm always sick at myself for letting this tyrant boss of mine get away with her bullying :mad:

If you have a diary (your post said you do), make sure it's very well documented. Times, dates, people who were around at the time, etc. Anytime something happened to me, I logged it in my phone, so that I'd have the time and date ready to write in my diary when I went home. It's vital.

The only thing you can do is make a complaint, through the proper complaints procedures. If you don't complain, nothing will be done. If you DO complain and nothing is done, it leaves you in an extremely strong position for legal action.

cafecolour

See, I don't know if this qualifies. When I worked in IT, we had a group of co-workers - including the IT manager - who would constantly complain about the incompetence (work wise) of various co-workers outside of the department. And when we got a new 'higher level' manager (above the IT manager), they basically went on a campaign to get her fired saying she didn't know what she was doing.

On the one hand all their complaints were generally accurate (i.e. the new 'higher' manager was a very nice lady but knew nothing about IT or our business in general, and was basically just hired as yes man for the director). And all their complaints were always work-related, never personal. On the other hand, it was incessant. And I had the opinion that everyone has drawbacks, and as long as a co-worker is generally nice and not horrifically incompetent, I was fine with having do a little bit of extra work cause they might not be so computer savvy. Also I liked the new 'higher manager' because she got me a raise when I asked for it. Anyway, it was settled by moving her to a different, more appropriate position.

But in a 'karma's a btch' lesson - we got a new IT Manager shortly, who had a visceral hatred of the top complainer. And that quickly changed her own tune.

Mince Pie

Had the same thing happen to me. Bullied by a fricken 22 year old I was around 36. I ended going off work with panic attacks and stress. I ended up quitting in the end cos I couldn't face going back there.
Still affects me now as I have to try to explain the gap in my CV and why I left the job. What the hell do you say to potential new employer? I left my last job cos I got bullied by a kid and management were too inept to deal with it.

Dodge

My own tale of bullying in the work place was the result of a horrible nasty little cnut who played the passive aggressive card well. For a while

Nice as pie to her superiors, a cnut to the rest. Hard even to describe the kind of stuff she'd come out but stuff like be on the phone herself for half an hour, then criticise others for taking a 2 minute call. As with the tipptopper (who's ace by the way) example, it was all tiny little things that led to a toxic atmosphere in the office. Despite being completely ****e at her job, she'd then complain to higher bosses about me and another girl. One of those "is she for ****ing real?" moments when called into top boss's office.

Luckily our job is unionised and the union suggested we start making notes of all these little comments, remarks etc etc. Best advice I've ever received.

Suddenly instead of throw away "funny" comments, we had a catalogue of sustained passive-aggresive bullyer. She could no longer play the martyr. Needless to say the next time thigns came to a head (when she accused us of not helpingher enough on a project, despite doing our own work and half of her project), we introduced our complete notebook and asked that she be removed from the office.

To be fair to management, she was and the office could return to a somewhat pleasant place to be. She's left since, as word of her ways spread and she could no longer bully her way around the offices

Potatoeman

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I reckon if you go into work, you're ignored, jeered and mocked then your colleagues are probably trying to tell you something.....

You have no trousers on?

Eoin

I've been pretty lucky. I've just had one manager who had zero people skills. She was a complete bitch that nobody liked, but it was a short enough contract so I was able to just concentrate on moving on to a better job. It was in a company where people skills are not taught or really even recognised. I don't like companies where people are promoted to management people based on years of service or your technical knowledge. People might scoff, but people management is a very important skill in its own right.

HR's main job is to protect the company from legal issues. All the other stuff comes second to that. But you can get lucky and work for a company that recognises that having unhappy employees is generally bad for business. So it's in their best interest to make sure that this sort of crap doesn't go on.

Since then I've been really lucky to work for companies where all that sort of carry on is a big no-no, so it tends to be stamped out.

But I've heard horror stories about what goes on in other places. It can't be good when you're dreading work so much that it takes over, and that you can't even enjoy your weekend because you're already thinking about going into work on Monday morning.

If anyone is going through this - hopefully these links might help:

What to do if You Feel You are Being Bullied

Code of Practice Detailing Procedures for Addressing Bullying in the Workplace

Bullying in the workplace

tipptopper wrote:

Since then, general manager asked me if I wanted to make a complaint, he said he can’t stand her and was delighted I put her in her place.

Why did he let her go this long before waiting for someone else to put her in her place - especially if she bullied someone else out of a job?

He's nearly as much to blame if he allowed it to continue because he didn't want to have a tough conversation with her.

cherrypie

I was never bullied at work myself but I've seen the affects of it. My partner was bullied by his supervisor and in a bizarre twist the supervisor made a complaint against my partner first (having become aware that my partner was probably about to make a complaint against him). A ridiculous saga ensued where my partners company showed outstanding prejudice. They didn't follow any of their own procedures. This was to be expected really since the supervisor in question would have been on the same level of management as those “investigating” the matters and they all would have socialized. Union was of no use of course.

My partner was suspended while investigations were carried out. Fair enough except it was an inordinate period of time and he was paid only a basic wage so there was a loss of earnings. This also involved my partner having to go for seven or eight meetings to discuss the complaint with management and defend himself basically. It was very accusatory and itself a form of bullying. The supervisor was not suspended or asked to attend even one meeting.

The supervisor, while he was apparently being investigated for bullying my partner, actually emptied my bf’s locker, went through his things, inspected his computer and “found” a software implying private internet use (not permitted).

My boyfriend was suspended for an inordinate period of time but even when he was allowed to return to work (at a different location) the conditions were despicable and the company idiotically began a malicious campaign against him that involved childish tactics like not scheduling him with the basic amount of hours per his contract of employment and messing him around generally, telephoning him an hour into his shift to say it was cancelled and then not paying him for it.

The company eventually found that there was no evidence to support the supervisor’s complaint but found that my partner should be issued with a final written warning for using the internet. My partner appealed and to further prove their stupidity they sent him a letter which actually stated that they had concluded he was the one using the internet because the software was polish (my bf is polish). This was surprising since several people had access and several of them were also polish...and the software was installed when my bf was on suspension and therefore not even on the site.

My bf wanted to just leave but I was having none of it. I made him record and document everything throught-out the whole process. This was over a very long period of time and it was mental torture, This crawls into every aspect of your life and breaks you down. Their goal was to make him walk and they tried everything!

But alas, you see they made a bit of an error. I worked in law firm for several years before I decided to leap into forensic accountancy, still in law I suppose but more the legal support side of things now. Forensic accountancy is a good skill for proving loss of earnings though. I made my partner take a case under the Workplace Health and Safety Act, 1995' for the bullying and harassment as well as under a few other things for the loss of wages etc. and he won his case! He still works at the same firm but he works in a very good location, has set hours, good conditions and nobody has looked sideways at him since. In other words, they were thought a good lesson.

If I were you I’d start gathering evidence. Document everything. Keep notes of dates, what was said, by whom. When you have enough evidence make a complaint. Document any deviation from procedure and if you aren't treated fairly go to a Solicitor and get legal advice. Your employer has a duty to protect you from bullying and harassment in the work place. It's just not on.

omck80

Several years ago I was in a job very happy for a number of years until a new Guy started.

I was the only female working there apart from the office girls. I had to use drills, bench saws and other machinery. Anyway the new Guy started questioning me for working there. He also started taking photos of me while I was working and telling me that as a woman and mother I should more respect for myself and my child and not be doing a "mans" job and be at home like a good mother.

After many months of this I approached the owner who told me not to be moaning.
Needless to say I gave my notice and left.

Six months later he was fired for not being able to do the job and I got a phone call asking me to come back. There was no chance of that. I had already started a new job which I loved.

Nobody should have to deal with any sort of bullying especially now when jobs are so hard to come by.

bb1234567

Canis Lupus wrote: »

So what did you do to help the victim?

Much easier said than done.

bb1234567

tipptopper wrote: »

There is this lass is my place of work who is attempting to bully me. She has previous for this kinda thing, she bullied the guy in the same position before me out of his job, seemingly the chap was ready to take his own life before he walked, such was the **** he had to endure from her.


I’ve taken over from him and was immediately warned by a person I became friendly with when I started what had happened the other guy so I knew the warning signs. I’m in the job 3 years and not a problem until say the last 2 months when I started to notice little jibes.

I’m never late for work ever, in fact I’m nearly always a half an hour early, I like to get settled, have a cup of tea, that sort of thing, but the minute my pc hits 5pm, I’m out of there like a shot.

So over the past 2 months she been sayings things like “oh, his on the runway, stand back and let him out” or “must be time, himself is away” or “leaving already”.. Stupid things I know but that’s how it started with the last guy, little things to start off with to get inside your head, the it gets worse gradually over time.

This is in front of other people in the office, I’m lucky enough I have my own office, she and 5 others are in an open plan just off mine, so when I step out of my office, it’s then she starts. Loves to be heard, tries to get everyone to have a little skit at my expense.


Things came to a head last week, I was going to Manchester for a meeting so didn’t need to arrive in the office till 10am, had it cleared with the MD so everything was fine. Walked in to the office to the following:


Her; (jokingly but serious if you know what I mean) what time do you call this coming in to work, why haven’t you rang in?? she starts to laugh, looking at everyone for a reaction.

So, after all her snide comments this was my chance to put her in her place I’m thinking once and for all.

ME: Beth, the day I have to answer to you in this office will be my last, I don’t answer to you, you’re not my boss, keep your nose in your own business and out of mine ok?

By now the silence was deafening, I could feel everyone’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my head, general manager included.

So I keep going now I’m on a role;

Beth for the past 2 months or so I’ve listened to your snide comments, I believe you are known for this type of conduct in the past, you bullied the last guy out of his job but I can tell you this much, you won’t bully me. So passing snide remarks about what time I leave at and trying to get a laugh from the others at my expense can stop right now, if I hear 1 more snide remark, I’ll be reporting it in writing to the MD, is that clear..


She was as red as beetroot at this stage, her mouth ready to hit the floor, she actually couldn’t speak so I walked to my office and closed the door.
Since then, general manager asked me if I wanted to make a complaint, he said he can’t stand her and was delighted I put her in her place.


Needless to say there has been no more snide remarks and is as nice as pie. Bullies of course are cowards when you stand up to them, they **** themselves when they are brought to task. They are weak pathetic people who try to pick on people they think are weaker than them to boost their own ego.


Stand up to these ****ers, don’t let them walk on top of you. Life is too short to let a c.u.n.t bring you down to their pathetic level.

Thank you if you are still reading this long post, it felt good reliving that day

That was just too perfect, props to you:) Well handled.

westendgirlie

But what can you do when the perpetrator is the MD and sadly, leaving isn't a financial option?

Myself and another colleague have both cried after calls from the MD. Both of us have inherited work from employees who have left. We never received any increase in pay, just the extra workload. Neither of us claimed we could do these jobs but we are berated all the same for not doing them properly.

The role I have inherited requires manual handling training but I don't want the training as I don't want that part of the job!

Keeping an account of the events has been mentioned to me before. After reading your experiences, it may be time for that diary.

Merch

omck80 wrote: »

Several years ago I was in a job very happy for a number of years until a new Guy started.

I was the only female working there apart from the office girls. I had to use drills, bench saws and other machinery. Anyway the new Guy started questioning me for working there. He also started taking photos of me while I was working and telling me that as a woman and mother I should more respect for myself and my child and not be doing a "mans" job and be at home like a good mother.

After many months of this I approached the owner who told me not to be moaning.
Needless to say I gave my notice and left.

Six months later he was fired for not being able to do the job and I got a phone call asking me to come back. There was no chance of that. I had already started a new job which I loved.

Nobody should have to deal with any sort of bullying especially now when jobs are so hard to come by.

that and few things here sound like constructive dismissal

username345

kerry4sam wrote: »

I have been the victim of bullying in one particular place of work, even in very recent times, eventhough I am a grown adult!

I realise that some people don't fully understand bullying, in all its forms, and may believe that what they are doing is harmless and not doing any harm. Sure, ain't it all a laugh at the end of the day eh?!

In one particular place of work I have been abused verbally, ignored, insulted, intimidated, undermined and belittled. That may not, by some to mean anything but over a period of nearly 2-years now, eventhough I am in a job that I thoroughly enjoy and wanted to be in since I was a child, it is just gone beyond a joke!

Yes there are Procedures and Protocols in place, but when even the senior and superior staff are also involved in some of the above, and more then tolerate and accept the above due to very close relationships they have with the people involved, those procedures and protocols mean little to nothing.

If you have been subjected to any of the above, never mind all of the above, and maybe even more/worse, then you would have a very good idea of how that feels. Having been subjected to the above over a prolonged period is just no fun!

Have you ever gone in to work and be ignored for hours on end, and hear your work-colleagues jeer and mock and insult you and your work position? Have you any idea even of how that would even feel like? Have you ever been verbally abused by work colleagues and have that behaviour deemed acceptable, because you're in a junior position and they have a problem with your position being there?

If you are currently doing any of the above to anyone, would you please just think again, possibly stop your antics, think about the effects it will be having on that person. Please?!

I am posting in here to gain as varied a response as possible, but mainly to highlight the issue of Bullying in the Workplace! I am seeing little to no point in speaking to any more superiors when some, even with years and years of work under their belts tolerate this behaviour and see it as okay, no bother, so long as their very close personal relationships remain in tact!

What would you do in this situation?
Just walk away and pitch it all to hell, allowing them to actually undermine there very core in allowing this continue to others;or fight this in the hope of preventing another from going through the same.

If you have been subjected to any form of bullying and would like to comment or share your own experiences, by all means do so

If you don't and would like to ask me anything on the subject, then within reason I would like to answer. I may not be in a position to answer all questions in full, but I will do my best anyway.

Bullying in the workplace in 2012 should not be tolerated by anyone, but it is! I can say for certain that it is! I've experienced all of the above over the last nearly 2-years each time I went in to that particular place of work. Should bullying in the workplace be tolerated? Anyone care to answer? Is all or any of the above acceptable behaviour does anyone feel?

(I have another job and don't experience any of the above btw)

Man up. If "workplace bullying" is high on your priorities list, you must lead a very sheltered life. As you stated, you are an adult. Act as such please. Bullying is easy enough to ignore. I just stonewall/outright ignore and treat with utter contempt anybody I percieve to be below me. I suggest you do the same.

You may think you have a problem. I suggest you walk around a long term hospital sometime. Those people have problems. Your problem is imaginary. A social construct. Sorry.

kerry4sam

username345 wrote: »

Man up and move on. If "workplace bullying" is high on your priorities list, you must lead a very sheltered life. As you stated, you are an adult. Act as such please. Bullying is easy enough to ignore. I just stonewall/outright ignore anybody I percieve to be an idiot. I suggest you do the same.

You may think you have a problem. I suggest you walk around a long term hospital sometime. Those people have problems. Your problem is imaginary. A social construct. Sorry.

No, no you're grand for saying this. You're saying what I am thinking. I'd prefer to tackle this head on and see who actually cares in this place about what I said in my opening post considering the job. I also would like for others to not have to go through this. I've been going through this for near on 2-years now, so the worse is over for me, but I don't want others who will join in the coming months or even others who are in there even a fraction as long as I have in this junior position to have to experience the same.

I've a few options open for me and I am looking into all of them now including just how important their procedures and protocols actually are when it comes to the crunch.

Thanks also for your input.

username345

kerry4sam wrote: »

No, no you're grand for saying this. You're saying what I am thinking. I'd prefer to tackle this head on and see who actually cares in this place about what I said in my opening post considering the job. I also would like for others to not have to go through this. I've been going through this for near on 2-years now, so the worse is over for me, but I don't want others who will join in the coming months or even others who are in there even a fraction as long as I have in this junior position to have to experience the same.

I've a few options open for me and I am looking into all of them now including just how important their procedures and protocols actually are when it comes to the crunch.

Thanks also for your input.

I am not trying to put you down for no reason. I am just being honest. Honesty is the only way. Never hide your real opinions or save face, it just leads to worse problems. I have spent many nights worrying over stuff like this too, until I just woke up one day and realised most problems are simply a social construct. Not being rude, just realistic. People like to make problems for themselves, I still do. Real problems you have no control over whatsoever.

Best of luck anyway.