Why do some gay men talk differently?

flash1080

You know the type of camp accent I mean.

What's the deal?

YouTookMyName

For people whos gaydars are broken.

ScouseMouse

Their jocks are to tight?

racso1975

As a wise child on the late late said why be the same when you can be different

Seaneh

Yeah, it's a major bugbear of mine.

It's like this quasi-american over exaggerated accent that I've heard from gay men from all over Ireland, the UK and even Australia, with hints of their local twang. And it's only ever from the ones that are camp as a row of tents, the types that make Graham Norton seem like the last bastion of masculinity. It only bothers me because it's, obviously, put on intentionally to "fit in" or fit the stereo type they seem themselves as. Can they not just have their own ****ing identity and be happy with that? Why use a fake accent and ham up their mannerisms just to fit a stereo type?

jaffacakesyum

The gays are very popular in AH this month

Seaneh

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

The gays are very popular in AH

Fixed your post.

Bannasidhe

Why are some people so obsessed with the gheys?
Why do some gay men have a particular accent?
Why do some lesbians use dildos?
Why do some gay men love the Eurovision?
Why don't some lesbians look like 'proper' women?

:rolleyes:

Why, why, why if people really want answers don't they ask in the LGBT forum?

Shryke

Gaylexia something something.

Chuck Stone

Why do want to hurt gay people?

Leave them alone ffs.

aaronjumper

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Why are some people so obsessed with the gheys?
Why do some gay men have a particular accent?
Why do some lesbians use dildos?
Why do some gay men love the Eurovision?
Why don't some lesbians look like 'proper' women?

:rolleyes:

Why, why, why if people really want answers don't they ask in the LGBT forum?

I don't know, why do they?

ashers22

I think all gay men should talk like Stephen Fry.

The Davestator

A mate of mine came out a few years back and suddenly started talking like a girl.

I asked him why but he couldn't answer!

Oh, I love your ear rings, etc

Weird.

Bannasidhe

aaronjumper wrote: »

I don't know, why do they?

Why do who what?

aaronjumper

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Perhaps they need to get out more?

I was just being difficult but thank you for answering anyway

Bannasidhe

aaronjumper wrote: »

I was just being difficult but thank you for answering anyway

You're welcome - but I did edit when I realised I wasn't sure which who doing what you meant...:D

to clarify:
The stupid question askers need to get out more.

Insect Overlord

ashers22 wrote: »

I think all gay men should talk like Stephen Fry.

All men should speak like him! Every conversation would sound like an Oscar Wilde scene. Positively delightful.

meoklmrk91

Well I met a girl from Cork last week with a rediculous American accent, mentioned that she had lived elsewhere as a child and I thought that might explain it, nope it was England. Why does anyone put on an accent or talk differently? It's not just gay men.

Links234

Seaneh wrote: »

It only bothers me because it's, obviously, put on intentionally to "fit in"

why do you assume that it's put on? I think it's much more likely that gay men would've put on an accent or try to adopt a way of speaking like the heterosexual majority while they were in the closet, and then after coming out, the inhibitions and the need to hide themselves or keep their heads down are gone, and they're more free to be themselves? it's the majority of heterosexual men are the ones trying to intentionally alter their mannerisms or way of talking in order to fit in

NegativeCreep

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Why, why, why if people really want answers don't they ask in the LGBT forum?

You get eaten alive in that forum for asking questions.

moonshadow

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

Well I met a girl from Cork last week with a rediculous American accent, mentioned that she had lived elsewhere as a child and I thought that might explain it, nope it was England. Why does anyone put on an accent or talk differently? It's not just gay men.

Nah just gay men and Corkmen:D

TheFisherKing

flash1080 wrote: »

Why do some gay men talk differently?

You know the type of camp accent I mean.

http://tinyurl.com/3jyvo3

Seaneh

Links234 wrote: »

why do you assume that it's put on?

Because I know several gay men who only started to really ham it up after they came out, at ages varying from 15 to 25. Pre coming out, they sounded like a normal person. Come out and boom, sound like brian dowling impersonators and are suddenly camping it up.

ejmaztec

Bannasidhe wrote: »

You're welcome - but I did edit when I realised I wasn't sure which who doing what you meant...:D

to clarify:
The stupid question askers need to get out more.

The question seems to be about gay men who come out more than they need to.:P

GRMA

Fella I have been friends with since first day of primary school came out as gay a few years ago (well I knew and so did a few other close friends cause he told us) and he changed his voice - it's definitely put on as he never ever spoke like that before, even when he was with just me or other people he was out to - you don't go from a louth accent to that overnight

Asked him about it once because quite frankly he sounded ridiculous and he said he just did it to sound gay.

Subsequently he's gone back to speaking normally.

Stupid, but sure it's no great harm

Links234

Seaneh wrote: »

Because I know several gay men who only started to really ham it up after they came out, at ages varying from 15 to 25. Pre coming out, they sounded like a normal person. Come out and boom, sound like brian dowling impersonators and are suddenly camping it up.

like I said above, it seems to me more likely that the act was pre-coming out, that sounding like a "normal person" as you like to say was the bit that was put on. being in the closet is a seriously rough place to be, and I know myself you can be incredibly mindful of every mannerism, making sure you walk the walk and talk the talk, lest anyone find out... that to me seems like where the only acting or putting on is involved.

efb

ashers22 wrote: »

I think all gay men should talk like Stephen Fry.

Would that it were

efb

ejmaztec wrote: »

The question seems to be about gay men who come out more than they need to.:P

Can you advise the correct amount?

Seaneh

The majority of gay men I know from youth are the same now as they were before coming out. A small handful went from one personality to brian dowling in the space of a few weeks after coming out, it's those people I think are putting on the accent, hamming up their mannerisms and being "divas". Of course there are also men I've known from my youth who were always as camp as a row of tents, and that's different again. But even then, the accents are not natural. Whatever about having effeminate mannerisms, the ****ing accents are a joke.

Bannasidhe

Seaneh wrote: »

Because I know several gay men who only started to really ham it up after they came out, at ages varying from 15 to 25. Pre coming out, they sounded like a normal person. Come out and boom, sound like brian dowling impersonators and are suddenly camping it up.

I know several guys who started talking all deep when they began to get interested in the wimmenz - ages varying from 13 to 50.
They see a female they find attractive and boom - it's Chuck Norris impersonators suddenly butching it up.

strobe

The Davestator wrote: »

A mate of mine came out a few years back and suddenly started talking like a girl.

I asked him why but he couldn't answer!

Oh, I love your ear rings, etc

Weird.

I guess in situations like that it's possible he always would have said things like "Oh, I love your ear rings" or whatever but as he was in the closet he didn't, but now that he's openly gay he no longer feels the need to hide that side of his personality?

ashers22

efb wrote: »

Would that it were

I imagine gay bars would be highly ornate oak panneled snugs where gentlemen could gather in their smoking gowns for some good old fashioned revelery with the chaps after a long arduous day in the office.

Bannasidhe

strobe wrote: »

I guess in situations like that it's possible he always would have said things like "Oh, I love your ear rings" or whatever but as he was in the closet he didn't, but now that he's openly gay he no longer feels the need to hide that side of his personality?

Maybe he thought all the previous earring were horrible?

Honestly - Dye give a ****?

You'd hate it if you ever left Ireland; where everyone speaks differently to you.

Lyaiera

Links234 wrote: »

like I said above, it seems to me more likely that the act was pre-coming out, that sounding like a "normal person" as you like to say was the bit that was put on. being in the closet is a seriously rough place to be, and I know myself you can be incredibly mindful of every mannerism, making sure you walk the walk and talk the talk, lest anyone find out... that to me seems like where the only acting or putting on is involved.

And in addition to that, a lot of people play with their personalities after coming out. If you've kept hidden or suppressed an element of yourself, when you come out there will be a "new" element of you, one that you aren't fully accustomed to. People need time to figure out and explore who they are. Why begrudge someone that opportunity?

ejmaztec

efb wrote: »

Can you advise the correct amount?

Just enough to prevent ear-bleed.

Seaneh

How is a fake accent part of their personality?

Rojomcdojo

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

You'd hate it if you ever left Ireland; where everyone speaks differently to you.

Missing the point. The OP is referring to a accent that they perceive to be 'put on', rather than to a simple foreign accent.

Hippies!

I haven't heard the lisp thing in a gay person in quite a while, is that gone out of fashion now?

Bannasidhe

Seaneh wrote: »

How is a fake accent part of their personality?

What accent would you like them to have?
Irish - which one?
Dublin - which one?

Should they get the Dort to the Jorge or the Lew-ass to de Lounge?
Can they have a car or must they drive a veh-hicle?
Can their kitchen be stylish and contemporary or will mod-ren suffice?

Bannasidhe

Hippies! wrote: »

I haven't heard the lisp thing in a gay person in quite a while, is that gone out of fashion now?

Thpanish tooked oor lithps.

Links234

Lyaiera wrote: »

And in addition to that, a lot of people play with their personalities after coming out. If you've kept hidden or suppressed an element of yourself, when you come out there will be a "new" element of you, one that you aren't fully accustomed to. People need time to figure out and explore who they are. Why begrudge someone that opportunity?

I know I didn't have a face full of piercings until after I came out as transgender, it's one of the many little ways I expressed myself after trying to keep my head down for so long.

Meangadh

Two of my dearest friends in the whole world who I would do anything for are gay- they don't really speak any differently to straight men or any differently to how they would have before they came out, but I would say that for one of them his mannerisms changed a bit, just became a bit more flamboyant I suppose. Doesn't bother me that much, he probably spent long enough not able to express himself.

But, I would definitely agree that some gay men have a specific kind of "voice", and friends of my gay friends have it, and yes, it is irritating but not to the point where I let it bother me. I know some straight people whose accents have changed depending on who they socialize with (mostly Dahblin yah yah types) so it's not unique to gay people.

What does bug me are the ones who are really loud, in your face and make over-sexual comments in general conversation. I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I don't accept that kind of talk from straight people and I don't accept it from gay people.

corktina

Most Gay men don't talk like "that".

Not all Men who talk like "that" are gay

Most gay men you would never guess...(look around, I bet there's one within sight of you right now.... :-)

Seaneh

Bannasidhe wrote: »

What accent would you like them to have?
Irish - which one?
Dublin - which one?

Should they get the Dort to the Jorge or the Lew-ass to de Lounge?
Can they have a car or must they drive a veh-hicle?
Can their kitchen be stylish and contemporary or will mod-ren suffice?

They should use whatever is actually their accent, not change it to fit some stereo type from a scene they wish to feel they belong to.

People should have the self confidence and belief to be themselves.

Seaneh

Seaneh wrote: »

They should use whatever is actually their accent, not change it to fit some stereo type from a scene they wish to feel they belong to.

People should have the self confidence and belief to be themselves.

I think they might know themselves better than you do, in all fairness.

1ZRed

Why do some straight men wear skinny jeans, act/speak more effeminately, dress like gimps? Some just do.

The only reason why that stereotype exists is because the gay guys that act very camp and speak like that stick out, whereas the majority that don't have any "gay" mannerisms don't and blend into the rest and go unnoticed.

Bannasidhe

Seaneh wrote: »

They should use whatever is actually their accent, not change it to fit some stereo type from a scene they wish to feel they belong to.

People should have the self confidence and belief to be themselves.

So a person is not allowed to change their manner of speaking?

Sorry people from Healy-Rae land but that is 'your' accent and you whill half to schtick wit it troo tick an tin or Seaneh will be getting upshet wit oo.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Lyaiera wrote: »

And in addition to that, a lot of people play with their personalities after coming out. If you've kept hidden or suppressed an element of yourself, when you come out there will be a "new" element of you, one that you aren't fully accustomed to. People need time to figure out and explore who they are. Why begrudge someone that opportunity?

That makes sense, but I do think there is a lot of put on camp acting out of those who come out.

Its annoying if I think about it too much as some of my friends went down the same path over the years ~ so I don't think about it and let 'em get on with their lives and hope they're happy & safe.

Ando's Saggy Bottom

Seaneh wrote: »

People should have the self confidence and belief to be themselves.

Easier said than done for some (actually most Id wager) people in fairness.

Lyaiera

Seaneh wrote: »

How is a fake accent part of their personality?

People adopt modes and mannerisms all the time and for as far back as society goes. It's one of the primary methods of identification within a group, culture or society and a method of declaring yourself to be part of that group to people outside it. Membership of cultural groups is a huge part of personality and even moreso a part of identity. It may be an affection but at the moment "gay culture" hasn't existed for very long, at least not modern gay culture. This is one of the big complaints with stereotyping, especially as done by the media. Virtually every minority group and even subsections of majority groups have complained about their representation in the media on the basis that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as to people's behaviour. And the same groups condemn the lack of decent role models that fall outside stereotypes.


How many camp and diva like gay men have you seen on TV in comparison to other "types" of gay men. The Wire attracted huge applause for it's portrayal of gay people, Omar is the most badass gay man ever to appear on TV and he was in no way camp or diva like, the Kima Greggs character received equal amounts of praise. Another show, the Channel 4 Queer as Folk showed a broad section of the gay community, and it equally won a huge amount of praise. Yet still, shows like that are few and far between. And this leads us onto a chicken and egg scenario, is the media creating the camp gay, is it reality, or is it a distortion of reality. I would argue it's a horrible distortion of reality. Not that camp gay people don't exist or that they're "bad gays" but that for someone trying to figure out how they fit into the world, a world that can be hostile there will be a natural leaning towards the examples of cultural identity that are most known of.

And like I said, I don't put any value on being either a camp gay man, or a "straight-acting" gay man, or anything else. It's simply that some people who come out are going to play around with their full identity for the first time and it can go many different ways. And one of the obvious ways to go is towards the "role models" as seen in the media.

But then again, I don't know how much of anyone's personality is nailed down. People discover they like new things, or find ways to change themselves all the time. I don't see why someone shouldn't be a cocktail sipping party animal one day and a studious librarian the next (or even both at the same time.) As long as the person wants to do that who gives a fcuk?