Would you date a guy at work

shadowcomplex

I know many girls would have reservations but what if as the saying goes he made you drool :-)

LeeHoffmann

I´ve done it. It was a mistake. It works out for some people.

The Big Red Button

I would really prefer not to.

I don't believe in having hard and fast rules about that sort of thing, but it could very easily cause all sorts of awkwardness.

If it doesn't work out, you'll still have to look at each other every single day. And colleagues will probably be aware of what happened too.

If it does work out, where is that going to go long-term? Imagine you ended up living together ... you'd be around each other pretty much 24 hours a day. Certainly not ideal, in my opinion.

And then there's the problem of any work conflicts/disagreements you might have. Of course you should be able to remain professional and objective - but sometimes that's easier said than done!

Having said that, if I really liked the guy, and I knew he liked me too, I probably wouldn't let the fact that he was a colleague stop me. In general, though, I think it's usually best to keep your professional life separate to your personal life.

Pembily

My parents met at work and are still happily married 35years later. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

CaraMay

I think, like a lot of things, its fine if it works out.... It could be very awkward if it doesnt...

Would either / both of you have to work there forever? Just in case it got serious and you lived together then it may be for the best if one of you moved company.

wendydoll

I've done it.

From my experience I wouldn't recommend it. It was a large company 600+ people, and it was still so awkward when it ended. Luckily I got a new job a few weeks after so never had to see him again.

Saying that I know plenty of people that got together in work and are now happily married.

Tasden

I would've always believed it would be fine and the only way it could be awkward if things went wrong would be if we let it be.
I was so wrong. I broke up with the guy, he didn't take it well, he discussed all or business with our colleagues and then when it got to a stage where he was hassling me so much I tried to avoid him-it was obviously impossible to do at work. It was bad.
Maybe this was just one bad experience but i wouldn't take the chance again.

Fight_Night

All depends on the job. If you are in your 20s working your first job, you won't be there forever, no harm in my opinion. In your late 30s and settling down then yes probably not a good idea.

sambuka41

It depends on so many factors, are you both going to work there forever? There is a difference between a career and a part time job.

Are the people involved, are the mature enough to manage the situation if it goes wrong. Are they the jealous type? I worked with a couple, friends with the guy, the girl was quite jealous, it really effected mine her her ability to work well together. She seen me as a threat and it made it really uncomfortable to work alongside her.

Also are you both on the same level in work. I also worked with a couple where one was the manager of the other, soooooo inappropriate, every time he got leave approved, or voiced his opinion it was seen as favoritism.(In some instances it blatantly was other times it wasn't, but he got the stick for it)

It can effect more than just the two people in the relationship.

I'm sure it can work, but to be honest I've never seen it happen. Personally I keep my private life separate.

cantdecide

It's completely subjective. You could be on either side of the fence here and end up eating your words. The only advice you could give someone in this position is to make damn sure it could go the distance.

For example, I worked at a place where a pair, he was a divorcee and she was in a failing marriage, got together.... eventually. On paper it was a disaster but now they have a house and a baby and are doing well, by all accounts. They no longer work together due to the recession so wouldn't it have been a mistake to do the logical thing and put their respective careers first.

Bubblefett

I met my boyfriend at work and we're together 5 years now.

For the first 4 or so months we hid the fact we were going out from everyone. It was kind of fun to be honest, the other girls would be asking me if we'd ever get together or would they have a chance with him, there'd be stolen kisses when no one was looking and it was always brilliant when we were working together. It was finally on a work night out that we let it slip.

We did have an agreement though that in work there was to be no relationship talk and if we were fighting outside work the fight would be put on hold. Never had any problems and we both worked in that company for 4 years up until the point were we both ran our own competing stores.

eviltwin

Depends on how big the company is, where he works, his position etc. I would possibly date someone who works in a completely different department to me but maybe not someone in my office. Would prefer not to though, I think it would be more interesting to date someone who does something different to me.

krudler

Bubblefett wrote: »

I met my boyfriend at work and we're together 5 years now.

For the first 4 or so months we hid the fact we were going out from everyone. It was kind of fun to be honest, the other girls would be asking me if we'd ever get together or would they have a chance with him, there'd be stolen kisses when no one was looking and it was always brilliant when we were working together. It was finally on a work night out that we let it slip.

We did have an agreement though that in work there was to be no relationship talk and if we were fighting outside work the fight would be put on hold. Never had any problems and we both worked in that company for 4 years up until the point were we both ran our own competing stores.

had the exact same, met my ex at work, she left and got another job about a year later but during that time it was fun, flirty texts to each other and I'd try make her blush at least once a day :pac: everyone kinda knew but we didnt make a big deal about it.

Whispered

I married him

LeeHoffmann

It was a large company 600+ people, and it was still so awkward when it ended.

There were about 15 people where I worked. After it ended, he started seeing another girl - who also worked with us. It gets better...her mam worked there too. So I was working with the ex guy, his new girlfriend and the girlfriend´s mother. Uncomfortable isn´t the word. Left ASAP after that :pac:

princess-lala

I did it once, went well for a few months but it just ran its course! He's now gay :rolleyes:

witchgirl26

I've done it. First time I did it, it didn't work out. I didn't work closely with the guy & it was fine as just saw him every so often around the office & we were polite enough to each other without being chatty.
Still with the 2nd one! It was a bit different this time as we did work quite closely together. Most people knew but we didn't let the bosses know for a while. Kept things professional in the office though as not fair on the others around us otherwise. Nobody had an issue with it & himself left for a different job after a couple of months.

The Cool

I did - it was a big mistake. It was in a restaurant in my late teens. He had absolutely no cop and told his mates / co workers personal stuff about us which I really didn't appreciate. It was grand cos it was only my weekend job so I could quit when it all got a bit crap in work with the abuse etc. Wouldn't like the idea of getting with someone out of my office now - could make things very awkward and just ruin my job for me.
As someone else said, I like that my OH works in a different field to me - means we do our own thing every day and then come home to each other with lots to talk about.

RacoonQueen

Never put limits on who you would and would not date. Plenty of couples work together/run a business together and have successful careers and home lives. If you're in the right relationship it should not be an issue.

lilmissprincess

I work in a different dept to the boyfriend but same (if huge) company. Its working out okay

Honey-ec

Yeah, I went out with a colleague for almost two years. It was never an issue, even after we split up. Having said that, it was a large company, tech industry, only 4 years in from being a start-up - everyone was at it like rabbits.

I know of at least three couples from there who are now married.

lazygal

I did and would never, ever recommend it. Too much hassle when things go wrong. If I could go back in time and stop myself getting involved I would.

RacoonQueen

lazygal wrote: »

I did and would never, ever recommend it. Too much hassle when things go wrong. If I could go back in time and stop myself getting involved I would.

But surely you could say that about any relationship that went wrong? If a guy is going to blurt out things about you or your relationship to people, he's going to to it whether you work with him or not and is clearly in idiot if he does it(I'm not saying that happened with you lazy gal but others have mentioned it). My sister married a guy she met at work, they don't work together anymore but, both being qualified chefs, have worked together a few times since they met without any real issues (the only issue being because they were both senior chefs they could never get the same days off).

If you like someone, are interested in them and the feeling is mutual - go for it. Life is too short to worry about how it might be if you break up. What if you never break up?

LeeHoffmann

If a guy is going to blurt out things about you or your relationship to people, he's going to to it whether you work with him or not

sure but usually you won´t have to see him and the people he blurts things out to for several hours every day.

All other things being equal, the fallout from a breakup in work is more difficult and more complicated than when you don´t work together. Everyone just has to decide for themselves whether it´s worth the risk. I wouldn´t completely rule it out for myself but if somebody else decides it´s not for them, I´m not going to tell them what to do

Hermione*

My parents met at work, and happily worked in the same company for most of their lives. They even spent several years working in the same office!

It wouldn’t be my preference, but I do know lots of people who’ve met their partners/ spouses at work. There must be something in the water coolers! :pac:

livingoffline

I probably wouldn't. What if it goes wrong and you have to face him every working day until one of you leaves the job?

We've all seen Bridget Jones.:D

The Cool

As the saying goes, you don't sh*t where you eat!

redappple

Last year a guy working near me was going out with a girl in the same building. He was at his desk and she came up and SAT ON HIS LAP!!! The desk is in a secluded area but I sit right by him it's not like they were there alone! Then they started kissing I actually had to walk away! So inappropriate and made me feel very uncomfortable.

That guy is gone and there is a young girl in his place now, she only started maybe 1-2 months ago. She is also going out with someone in the building and was joking with some very loudly about how well endowed he is! The person she was speaking to sits beside me and at one stage she said to him "If I'm not careful I'll feel it in my diaphragm"

What the hell!!!

sambuka41

redappple wrote: »

Last year a guy working near me was going out with a girl in the same building. He was at his desk and she came up and SAT ON HIS LAP!!! The desk is in a secluded area but I sit right by him it's not like they were there alone! Then they started kissing I actually had to walk away! So inappropriate and made me feel very uncomfortable.

Yeah this is awkward, with the last couple I worked with, I walked into the staff room, interrupting an intimate moment, awkward!!! It isn't only about the two people in the relationship whose work place can be effected. I know there were other people who didn't feel comfortable working in small groups with the two of them.

That being said if every one involved is responsible and mature then this type of thing wouldn't happen.

Twee.

I've only seen it happen in a retail job I was in, but they made it awkward for the rest of us. Well, her more than him! It was a small place so you could be on a shift with the three of you. They'd always be doing work "together", stock room, tidying etc. He was a supervisor as well, and wasn't great at telling her what to do

If I did do it, I'd keep it out of work, not act the way those two did! It shouldn't interfere with work, and if it does there's a problem.

lisasimpson

speaking from experience it depends on where you work. in my last job went out with someone for a year and a half. it was common knowledge and noone gave a feck and left us alone, it wasnt a messy breakup so working together post relationship was grand. dated someone in my current job for a few month disaster. we tried to keep it quite but someone that was suppose to be my friend wouldnt keep it quite and when he was it meetings the managers thought it was ok to ask to ask him what was the story with us

Augmerson

It depends. It's not nice when something doesn't work out but nobody starts out hoping that'll happen. Having to see the person who broke up with you or you broke up with everyday is tough, but it really depends on how you were. If things ended well, there is a good chance of things being normal again and just getting on with things.

Speaking from personal experience, I'd go about it with caution. I dated somebody I worked with and things didn't work out, but having to see the person everday who broke up with me didn't do my head any good, and so things went pretty sour (100% my fault). I would like to think things are different now but when damage is done, it's done, and it takes a long time for people to forgive and forget. I wouldn't say to anybody "definitely no, don't do it" but just be cautious, be discrete if you can and be easy going and amicable if things don't work out, it's hard but really the only viable option if you continue to work alongside the other person - trust me on that one