Social Networking - an ideal platform for cowardly bullies.

Tony Soprano.

I think we're seeing it more and more of late. Like a few young girls committing suicide, due to online bulling, is serious stuff indeed.

Or you could take someone like Ryan Tubridy, who had to close his Twitter account due to the abuse he was getting. But who would have the balls to ring up his radio show and say it to his face? Or when passing him on the street? Just send him a cowardly tweet instead. Pretty sad.

We even see it on boards.ie (especially in the After Hours forum) - posters lingering about to make that sneaky smart comment on a thread; whilst still not trying to come across as a bully at the same time.. They're smarter than we think. I reckon these people have serious personal issues. Most of us would take it with a pinch of salt, but others may not, and take it to heart.

Anyway, not sure if there's anything can be done about it. Or is there?

General Relativity

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But who would have the balls to ring up his radio show and say it to his face?

Wat.

GarIT

General Relativity wrote: »

Wat.

He has a face for radio.

This thread is about me. :cool:

aaronjumper

Crap they're onto us!

Anytime you put large groups of people together there will be bullies and victims.

It is a shame but bullying is never going to go away, it's in some peoples nature.

Rayne Wooney

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

Anyway, not sure if there's anything can be done about it. Or is there?

Turn off de internetz, for good

Spiritual

I got infracted recently for what I thought was a joke on AH, it was deemed as bullying.
It embarrassed me to think anyone would judge me as a bully. I am a person that will always back the bullied.

You are right OP bullying is rife on social media, I have witnessed the hurt it caused to my niece.
It is a worrying thing as social media platforms expand.

Tony Soprano.

aaronjumper wrote: »

Crap they're onto us!

Anytime you put large groups of people together there will be bullies and victims.

It is a shame but bullying is never going to go away, it's in some peoples nature.

I agree totally. But the internet must be a bully's dream, hiding behind their alias and abuse all they want. It's a cowards heaven.

KwackerJack

Usually online bullies are insecure people with many issues.... probably the ones that have a different angle on there hat and a different walk for each day!

Long gone are the days where you have a face to face talk or a fight with a handshake!

Its all knife in the back or a fake social page!

Tony Soprano.

Spiritual wrote: »

I got infracted recently for what I thought was a joke on AH, it was deemed as bullying.
It embarrassed me to think anyone would judge me as a bully. I am a person that will always back the bullied.

I'd really doubt you are a bully. A bully would never talk as honestly as that.

Chuck Stone

I only ever say things to people's faces from a great distance.

I'm highly trained to run away very fast from confrontation.

Spiritual

A word for the mods here. I know they take a lot of flack but they do a good job in identifying bullies quickly.
The community itself is good at dealing with them also. For those reasons it is generally a good place to post as most people here are generally decent.

Onesimus

I've had it, I think that seeing as eradicating bullying is impossible its important we focus on the issue of how to deal with bullying itself, both psychologically and practical responses of how to deal with bullying are needed.

my reaction is always to report it and it goes over my head. But people react in different ways, its important to try to help everyone react calmly and not be worried about the bark on cyber bullying that really has no bite. But yes sometimes they do go that far and bite which is why it is important to report it and take no chances.

ashers22

Spiritual wrote: »

I got infracted recently for what I thought was a joke on AH, it was deemed as bullying.
It embarrassed me to think anyone would judge me as a bully. I am a person that will always back the bullied.

You are right OP bullying is rife on social media, I have witnessed the hurt it caused to my niece.
It is a worrying thing as social media platforms expand.

I got infracted for trying to protect someone from someone elses disgusting comments about what a woman should look like in order to be attractive. I hope his nuts fall off.
Can we do something? Yes, we can.

Tony Soprano.

Spiritual wrote: »

A word for the mods here. I know they take a lot of flack but they do a good job in identifying bullies quickly.
The community itself is also good at dealing with them. For those reasons it is generally a good place to post.

I agree. They can only be so fast at dealing with posters and banning. But you still see those smart-ass posters, not necessary bullies, but the kinda borderline sneaky type.

KKkitty

You can be anonymous on most websites these days so that's an obvious mistake for most sites to begin with. Take that anonymity away and see how brave people would be. Heavier moderation of forums and social networking sites should be paramount to curb this bullying and trolling that goes on but it seems like making money is more important for the people who set up social networking sites. Recent suicides of young girls should be a lesson to all users of the internet.

Onesimus

KKkitty wrote: »

You can be anonymous on most websites these days so that's an obvious mistake for most sites to begin with. Take that anonymity away and see how brave people would be. Heavier moderation of forums and social networking sites should be paramount to curb this bullying and trolling that goes on but it seems like making money is more important for the people who set up social networking sites. Recent suicides of young girls should be a lesson to all users of the internet.

Believe it or not, I've had some brave souls contact me on facebook, people I don't know harassing me. It happens. But I do think taking that anonymity away would really reduce it by a strong margin.

Spiritual

ashers22 wrote: »

I got infracted for trying to protect someone from someone elses disgusting comments about what a woman should look like in order to be attractive. I hope his nuts fall off.
Can we do something? Yes, we can.

I accepted the infraction and when it was explained to me I could see how the post could be construed as bullying. I learned a lesson so had no issue with it.

KKkitty

Onesimus wrote: »

Believe it or not, I've had some brave souls contact me on facebook, people I don't know harassing me. It happens. But I do think taking that anonymity away would really reduce it by a strong margin.

The OP mentioned Ryan Tubridy and to be honest he's not my cup of tea. Having 2 kids the only real time I'd watch The Late Late is when the toy show is on but I'm not going to go on any social networking site and bully him. Trolls like those who force people to shut down accounts are idiots who obviously have little else to do with their time. Unfortunately it's a sign of the times we live in. Some people I know play the Xbox and for certain shooter games what they've heard in their headsets is unreal.

ashers22

Spiritual wrote: »

I accepted the infraction and when it was explained to me I could see how the post could be construed as bullying. I learned a lesson so had no issue with it.

oh I accept the infraction, I have no desire to contest it the point is that there is something seriously wrong with society that protects the bully. If abusive statements and calling out abusive statements as troll material merit equal punishment then nothing is learned. I just hope no lasting damage has been done.

Some of these online bullying things confuse me - especially the ones that stem from that ask.fm site. I can't comprehend while people are constantly going back on these sites, despite them knowing that's where the bullying is.

If you get bullied there, stop going there.

Tombi!

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

We even see it on boards.ie (especially in the After Hours forum)

What do you see here, ya big thicko? :pac:

But yeah, it's just how the internet is. A lot of people come on and just think it's easy to start insulting and the likes due to it being the internet.

If actually do have serious thoughts you want to put forward, there's a feedback thread about bullying the moment.
But feedback is usually a serious place so be careful with it.

KKkitty

boneyarsebogman wrote: »

Some of these online bullying things confuse me - especially the ones that stem from that ask.fm site. I can't comprehend while people are constantly going back on these sites, despite them knowing that's where the bullying is.

If you get bullied there, stop going there.

Some people think they can handle it. Ask.fm is asking for trouble. I won't be letting my kids anywhere near those sites when they grow up.

Tony Soprano.

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

What do you see here, ya big thicko? :pac:

It might not be classed as bullying, probably one step down from that.

I see in the threads here. I think it's more sneaky than outright bullying tbh.

Tombi!

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

It might not be classed as bullying, probably one step down from that.

I see in the threads here. I think it's more sneaky than outright bullying tbh.

Actually, one of the things was what do you define as bullying.
I'd wager you really do see it as bullying but don't want to make a big enough case about it.

I could be wrong but I'd see it as bullying.

Tony Soprano.

Deleted User wrote: »

Some of these online bullying things confuse me - especially the ones that stem from that ask.fm site. I can't comprehend while people are constantly going back on these sites, despite them knowing that's where the bullying is.

If you get bullied there, stop going there.

But if all of their friends are logging in every hour, then you'd feel excluded for not doing the same thing. Then you'd probably get bullied for not knowing the latest news. Vicious circle.

GarIT

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But if all of their friends are logging in every hour, then you'd feel excluded for not doing the same thing. Then you'd probably get bullied for not knowing the latest news. Vicious circle.

There's nothing to see on ask.fm just people asking anonymous questions about people. You can't miss out by not going on it.

Scruffles

one off abuse isnt bullying,bullying is long term/continuous abuse in any form,and those who have got less coping skills,confidence and communication ability to deal with it are most at vulnerable towards developing mental illness [eg,youngsters, learning/ developmentaly disabled adults, mentaly ill adults,people from other countries with no support network etc].

real bullies as adults usualy have personality disorders-
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/npd.htm
anyone recognised as bullying others online shoud be court ordered/ASBOd from having internet access,it does happen to convicted cyber bullies/serious trolls.
online users need their protection being taken as priority above the bullies online freedom, online communities is the most common social form used by disabled people who otherwise woud not be able to access it IRL,the government especialy shoud have stricter laws in place to protect vulnerable groups from predatory advantage taking individuals.

am speaking as someone who was severely online bullied for a number of years by one person,have been physicaly and verbaly bullied entire life due to disabilities despite having always physicaly fought back,but it was nothing in comparison to online bullying, people think switching off a computer removes the bullying,they dont have a clue how the mind works.
the internet is the only lifeline to the outside world for some of us,so its easy for us to be taken advantage of.
theyre also the biggest cowards;they woud never bully us IRL because they know they woud end up with the sht beaten out of them,theyre all sissies.

Paddy Cow

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But if all of their friends are logging in every hour, then you'd feel excluded for not doing the same thing. Then you'd probably get bullied for not knowing the latest news. Vicious circle.

If someone's friends are going to bully them for not going on a site where they are likely to be bullied, that person needs to get better friends.

When used correctly, social media is great. Keep your profile private and block anyone who starts causing trouble. The problem with celebs and sites like twitter is they have their profile public and instead of ignoring the gobsh!tes, they react to them. If they never got any attention, they would get bored and go away.

Tony Soprano.

GarIT wrote: »

No they don't, I'm a teen and people get slagged because they have an account, only the people with no friends go on ask.fm. There is peer pressure not to be on ask for fm, there is no peer pressure to go on it.

There is no news on ask.fm its a site where you can leave anonymous opionions on anyone with an account and rate them.

But maybe that's not same for all age groups? Not saying it is.

But the father of one the victims (can't remember the poor girl's name) was on the 2Fm with Colm Hayes, and he was saying they were all on the likes of ask.fm and they'd feel totally excluded if they weren't part of it. But they were young, and not sure what age-group you come from.

Tony Soprano.

Paddy Cow wrote: »

If someone's friends are going to bully them for not going on a site where they are likely to be bullied, that person needs to get better friends.

When used correctly, social media is great. Keep your profile private and block anyone who starts causing trouble. The problem with celebs and sites like twitter is they have their profile public and instead of ignoring the gobsh!tes, they react to them. If they never got any attention, they would get bored and go away.

But these are young teenagers we are taking about here, so we can't say that. You surely remember when you were that age? It must be so much worse now.

GarIT

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But maybe that's not same for all age groups? Not saying it is.

But the father of one the victims (can't remember the poor girl's name) was on the 2Fm with Colm Hayes, and he was saying they were all on the likes of ask.fm and they'd feel totally excluded if they weren't part of it. But they were young, and not sure what age-group you come from.

Its the same for everyone. Out of intrest from a thread the other day we asked around a local school because a friend is thinking of using the actions of victims in relation to bullying for a thesis, result of it was 1 in 20 people between 13 and 18 have used ask.fm 100% of users of ask.fm have been bullied.

The kids are asking for it really, they are setting up a page that has the sole purpose of letting people say anonymous things about them.

EDIT: Actually as well 100% of people using ask.fm have been bullied for having a profile on ask.fm. e.g. "The state of you being on ask.fm" All I can say is that the kids that are on it really are attention seeking and must have problems.

Tony Soprano.

GarIT wrote: »

The kids are asking for it really, they are setting up a page that has the sole purpose of letting people say anonymous things about them.

But how would a twelve year old know any different, in fairness? When I was that age I hadn't a clue about anything, and peer-pressure was a big thing.

Interesting analysis, none the less. Thanks.

GarIT

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But how would a twelve year old know any different, in fairness? When I was that age I hadn't a clue about anything, and peer-pressure was a big thing.

Interesting analysis, none the less. Thanks.

There is a lot of peer pressure not to be on ask.fm yet people still do it. People get slagged and called attention seekers, needy or whatever just because they have joined.

Paddy Cow

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But these are young teenagers we are taking about here, so we can't say that. You surely remember when you were that age? It must be so much worse now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not heartless and understand that young people want to fit in but young or not, the point still stands. If your friends are trying to make you do something which upsets you, then you have to learn to tell them no or get better friends. I didn't drink until I was 18. All my friends were drinking way before that but they never pushed it with me and it wasn't an issue.

I think the best way to fit in and find friends that suit you are to be yourself. Unfortunately young people seem to think that they have to be really popular and have loads of friends etc and it's not until they get older that they realise the value of having a few very good close friends and loads of acquaintances.

The internet can be a great place if used properly. Certain sites are a free for all and best avoided unless you have a very thick skin. It's best to stick with moderated sites and like I said, if you have a profile on social media sites, keep your profile private.

GarIT

I just went on ask.fm there and went onto a random profile, the first person on it is a 16 year old girl from cork telling people about how she is depressed recently and bragging that she has been riding her boyfriend. I don't see how you could be asking for it any more than that.

Next profile is a girl, cant see her age or location, but she looks young and she's talking about her and her firend's bra and dress sizes, classy.....

Tony Soprano.

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Don't get me wrong, I'm not heartless and understand that young people want to fit in but young or not, the point still stands. If your friends are trying to make you do something which upsets you, then you have to learn to tell them no or get better friends. I didn't drink until I was 18. All my friends were drinking way before that but they never pushed it with me and it wasn't an issue.

I think the best way to fit in and find friends that suit you are to be yourself. Unfortunately young people seem to think that they have to be really popular and have loads of friends etc and it's not until they get older that they realise the value of having a few very good close friends and loads of acquaintances.

The internet can be a great place if used properly. Certain sites are a free for all and best avoided unless you have a very thick skin. It's best to stick with moderated sites and like I said, if you have a profile on social media sites, keep your profile private.

Paddy, I have to totally disagree here. At that age you just want to fit in, any way you can. You just don't have the sense to say "no", especially if everyone is in the same boat.

GarIT

Third person im onto, also a girl, her profile and half the questions are in polish, the questions she has been asked (the ones in english) include:
I would **** you she says please do
Whats your favourite sex position? she says 69
Have you ever had sex in public? she says yes
Whats your bra size? she says not telling
Whats one of your favourite dirty things? she says perv
Have you ever faked an orgasm? she says no

And guess what, she is the ripe old age of 15.

GarIT

I think my point is proven that the victims look for the bullies online, the bullies dont neet to look for victims.

I'm studying computer science and I'm specalising in security, its not social security, its more protecting from online threats but social protection and security is slightly related and I know for a fact that there has never been a case of bullying that couldn't have been stopped in under 60 seconds and wouldnt leave the victim left out of anything, doesnt involve deleting profiles or anything.

As a side note profiles on all major social sites automatically default to private for under 18s. If you are under 18 on Facebook nobody can talk to you without you giving them permission first, people do get banned from facebook for even a small bit of harrassment. Pages can be closed in minutes.

WumBuster

GarIT wrote: »

I just went on ask.fm there and went onto a random profile, the first person on it is a 16 year old girl from cork telling people about how she is depressed recently and bragging that she has been riding her boyfriend. I don't see how you could be asking for it any more than that.

Next profile is a girl, cant see her age or location, but she looks young and she's talking about her and her firend's bra and dress sizes, classy.....

You might say ''asking for it'' but you are talking about a 16 year old girl there who dosent have much in the way of common sense who is only trying to impress her friends with rubbish talk.

GarIT

WumBuster wrote: »

You might say ''asking for it'' but you are talking about a 16 year old girl there who dosent have much in the way of common sense who is only trying to impress her friends with rubbish talk.

If they don't know better by around 12 -13 their parents really are failures. I wen't through years of my parents lecturing me about being safe on the internet and it worked, nothing ever happened.

Tony Soprano.

GarIT wrote: »

I think my point is proven that the victims look for the bullies online, the bullies dont neet to look for victims.

Absolute bullshít. Are you a WUM or what?

Tony Soprano.

GarIT wrote: »

If they don't know better by around 12 -13 their parents really are failures.

Yeah, you're a troll (I hope). Pretty sad considering the seriousness of the subject. Pretty sad indeed. Pathetic, actually.

GarIT

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

Absolute bullshít. Are you a WUM or what?

What is a WUM? and no I'm not s Troll, if you look around ask.fm you will see the information being posted is nearly hard to believe.

WumBuster

GarIT wrote: »

If they don't know better by around 12 -13 their parents really are failures. I wen't through years of my parents lecturing me about being safe on the internet and it worked, nothing ever happened.

Well you were lucky having streetwise enough parents to be able to teach you about all these things and shield you from it all.
Unfortunately I and many others werent as lucky with these things when we were teenagers and had to learn about things the hard way, such as bullying. Its a tough world out there being a teenager and you need to learn from your own mistakes quickly. Issues such as learning how to communicate with others, fitting in, dealing with your emotions, sexuality or whatever else. Its called growing up.

ASVM

A few weeks ago I had a look at the site myself and was utterly shocked. Call me old fashioned but where are these kids parents.I know little about computers so don't know if parents could block this site from say a family laptop.Maybe kids this age should not be using social media. It's like facebook there are some very young kids on it and I don't think it's a good idea.

I saw the interview with the Dad of one of the girls who took her own life after being bullied on this site(ask.fm) and he said it was a site for younger teenagers thirteen, fourteen year old age group.It is so utterly sad and tragic for these poor parents.

GarIT

ASVM wrote: »

I know little about computers so don't know if parents could block this site from say a family laptop.

It can be done very easily, most family protection filters will block ask.fm. It's funny that I've been annoyed and affected by this oddly tonight, So from tomorrow I'll be getting a company I used to work for to install family protection filters at heavily discounted prices.

ASVM

GarIT wrote: »

It can be done very easily, most family protection filters will block ask.fm.

Yeah the onus really has to be on parents then. Young teenagers need to be guided, protected and given firm boundaries.I definitely wouldn't let my child( only a toddler yet) use it.

In one way maybe it's a bad thing that our world has become so computer/technology driven.Wouldn't it be much better for a teenager to be involved in real life activities like sport,reading,going to the cinema rather than typing stuff into a computer or phone.

But this is the way the world is going now. In a discount shop the other day my toddler picked out an imitation i phone which I then got for her - at two tv ads are already influencing her - it's crazy!

ASVM

GarIT wrote: »

It can be done very easily, most family protection filters will block ask.fm. It's funny that I've been annoyed and affected by this oddly tonight, So from tomorrow I'll be getting a company I used to work for to install family protection filters at heavily discounted prices.

I think that's a wonderful idea. A life could be saved.:)

Piliger

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

I think we're seeing it more and more of late. Like a few young girls committing suicide, due to online bulling, is serious stuff indeed.

Or you could take someone like Ryan Tubridy, who had to close his Twitter account due to the abuse he was getting. But who would have the balls to ring up his radio show and say it to his face? Or when passing him on the street? Just send him a cowardly tweet instead. Pretty sad.

We even see it on boards.ie (especially in the After Hours forum) - posters lingering about to make that sneaky smart comment on a thread; whilst still not trying to come across as a bully at the same time.. They're smarter than we think. I reckon these people have serious personal issues. Most of us would take it with a pinch of salt, but others may not, and take it to heart.

Anyway, not sure if there's anything can be done about it. Or is there?

Social Networking is the worst place to bully. It is so easy to block people. This is the issue that is totally ignored in all of the ridiculous hype that goes on. If these children who are committing suicide were properly versed in how to use their applications, there would be no problem. But parents are allowing their children to go online with absolutely no education on how to handle themselves and the software.

Allyall

I don't know why Facebook don't have moderators like Boards.. (Any forum)

By Country/Age/Chosen Filters/Etc..

I mean they are supposed to be worth millions.. (Billions?)
Surely they could employ proper mods.

They don't have to block freedom of speech But if people are aggressive/disagree with someones post, block them from it, or REMOVE THE POST!

It's not Rocket Salad Science.

It would stop 99% of News Stories from even happening in the U.K.

It would stop some kids getting bullied,
Aaaggh it's not that hard.. For the rest of the internet (And for a lot of people FB is their only internet) There are filters and mods..

Piliger

ASVM wrote: »

A few weeks ago I had a look at the site myself and was utterly shocked. Call me old fashioned but where are these kids parents.I know little about computers so don't know if parents could block this site from say a family laptop.Maybe kids this age should not be using social media. It's like facebook there are some very young kids on it and I don't think it's a good idea.

I saw the interview with the Dad of one of the girls who took her own life after being bullied on this site(ask.fm) and he said it was a site for younger teenagers thirteen, fourteen year old age group.It is so utterly sad and tragic for these poor parents.

These parents are the ones who are to blame for not doing their duty and exercising their responsibilities as parents.