Social Networking - an ideal platform for cowardly bullies.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 12:39AM #1

I think we're seeing it more and more of late. Like a few young girls committing suicide, due to online bulling, is serious stuff indeed.

Or you could take someone like Ryan Tubridy, who had to close his Twitter account due to the abuse he was getting. But who would have the balls to ring up his radio show and say it to his face? Or when passing him on the street? Just send him a cowardly tweet instead. Pretty sad.

We even see it on boards.ie (especially in the After Hours forum) - posters lingering about to make that sneaky smart comment on a thread; whilst still not trying to come across as a bully at the same time.. They're smarter than we think. I reckon these people have serious personal issues. Most of us would take it with a pinch of salt, but others may not, and take it to heart.

Anyway, not sure if there's anything can be done about it. Or is there?

General Relativity · 02-12-2012 12:40AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But who would have the balls to ring up his radio show and say it to his face?

Wat.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 12:42AM

General Relativity wrote: »

Wat.

He has a face for radio.

This thread is about me. :cool:

aaronjumper · 02-12-2012 12:43AM

Crap they're onto us!

Anytime you put large groups of people together there will be bullies and victims.

It is a shame but bullying is never going to go away, it's in some peoples nature.

Rayne Wooney · 02-12-2012 12:44AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

Anyway, not sure if there's anything can be done about it. Or is there?

Turn off de internetz, for good

Spiritual · 02-12-2012 12:45AM

I got infracted recently for what I thought was a joke on AH, it was deemed as bullying.
It embarrassed me to think anyone would judge me as a bully. I am a person that will always back the bullied.

You are right OP bullying is rife on social media, I have witnessed the hurt it caused to my niece.
It is a worrying thing as social media platforms expand.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 12:46AM

aaronjumper wrote: »

Crap they're onto us!

Anytime you put large groups of people together there will be bullies and victims.

It is a shame but bullying is never going to go away, it's in some peoples nature.

I agree totally. But the internet must be a bully's dream, hiding behind their alias and abuse all they want. It's a cowards heaven.

KwackerJack · 02-12-2012 12:46AM

Usually online bullies are insecure people with many issues.... probably the ones that have a different angle on there hat and a different walk for each day!

Long gone are the days where you have a face to face talk or a fight with a handshake!

Its all knife in the back or a fake social page!

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 12:48AM

Spiritual wrote: »

I got infracted recently for what I thought was a joke on AH, it was deemed as bullying.
It embarrassed me to think anyone would judge me as a bully. I am a person that will always back the bullied.

I'd really doubt you are a bully. A bully would never talk as honestly as that.

Chuck Stone · 02-12-2012 12:49AM

I only ever say things to people's faces from a great distance.

I'm highly trained to run away very fast from confrontation.

Spiritual · 02-12-2012 12:51AM

A word for the mods here. I know they take a lot of flack but they do a good job in identifying bullies quickly.
The community itself is good at dealing with them also. For those reasons it is generally a good place to post as most people here are generally decent.

Onesimus · 02-12-2012 12:52AM

I've had it, I think that seeing as eradicating bullying is impossible its important we focus on the issue of how to deal with bullying itself, both psychologically and practical responses of how to deal with bullying are needed.

my reaction is always to report it and it goes over my head. But people react in different ways, its important to try to help everyone react calmly and not be worried about the bark on cyber bullying that really has no bite. But yes sometimes they do go that far and bite which is why it is important to report it and take no chances.

ashers22 · 02-12-2012 12:54AM

Spiritual wrote: »

I got infracted recently for what I thought was a joke on AH, it was deemed as bullying.
It embarrassed me to think anyone would judge me as a bully. I am a person that will always back the bullied.

You are right OP bullying is rife on social media, I have witnessed the hurt it caused to my niece.
It is a worrying thing as social media platforms expand.

I got infracted for trying to protect someone from someone elses disgusting comments about what a woman should look like in order to be attractive. I hope his nuts fall off.
Can we do something? Yes, we can.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 12:54AM

Spiritual wrote: »

A word for the mods here. I know they take a lot of flack but they do a good job in identifying bullies quickly.
The community itself is also good at dealing with them. For those reasons it is generally a good place to post.

I agree. They can only be so fast at dealing with posters and banning. But you still see those smart-ass posters, not necessary bullies, but the kinda borderline sneaky type.

KKkitty · 02-12-2012 12:54AM

You can be anonymous on most websites these days so that's an obvious mistake for most sites to begin with. Take that anonymity away and see how brave people would be. Heavier moderation of forums and social networking sites should be paramount to curb this bullying and trolling that goes on but it seems like making money is more important for the people who set up social networking sites. Recent suicides of young girls should be a lesson to all users of the internet.

Onesimus · 02-12-2012 12:56AM

KKkitty wrote: »

You can be anonymous on most websites these days so that's an obvious mistake for most sites to begin with. Take that anonymity away and see how brave people would be. Heavier moderation of forums and social networking sites should be paramount to curb this bullying and trolling that goes on but it seems like making money is more important for the people who set up social networking sites. Recent suicides of young girls should be a lesson to all users of the internet.

Believe it or not, I've had some brave souls contact me on facebook, people I don't know harassing me. It happens. But I do think taking that anonymity away would really reduce it by a strong margin.

Spiritual · 02-12-2012 12:57AM

ashers22 wrote: »

I got infracted for trying to protect someone from someone elses disgusting comments about what a woman should look like in order to be attractive. I hope his nuts fall off.
Can we do something? Yes, we can.

I accepted the infraction and when it was explained to me I could see how the post could be construed as bullying. I learned a lesson so had no issue with it.

KKkitty · 02-12-2012 01:06AM

Onesimus wrote: »

Believe it or not, I've had some brave souls contact me on facebook, people I don't know harassing me. It happens. But I do think taking that anonymity away would really reduce it by a strong margin.

The OP mentioned Ryan Tubridy and to be honest he's not my cup of tea. Having 2 kids the only real time I'd watch The Late Late is when the toy show is on but I'm not going to go on any social networking site and bully him. Trolls like those who force people to shut down accounts are idiots who obviously have little else to do with their time. Unfortunately it's a sign of the times we live in. Some people I know play the Xbox and for certain shooter games what they've heard in their headsets is unreal.

ashers22 · 02-12-2012 01:07AM

Spiritual wrote: »

I accepted the infraction and when it was explained to me I could see how the post could be construed as bullying. I learned a lesson so had no issue with it.

oh I accept the infraction, I have no desire to contest it the point is that there is something seriously wrong with society that protects the bully. If abusive statements and calling out abusive statements as troll material merit equal punishment then nothing is learned. I just hope no lasting damage has been done.

02-12-2012 01:09AM

Some of these online bullying things confuse me - especially the ones that stem from that ask.fm site. I can't comprehend while people are constantly going back on these sites, despite them knowing that's where the bullying is.

If you get bullied there, stop going there.

Tombi! · 02-12-2012 01:10AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

We even see it on boards.ie (especially in the After Hours forum)

What do you see here, ya big thicko? :pac:

But yeah, it's just how the internet is. A lot of people come on and just think it's easy to start insulting and the likes due to it being the internet.

If actually do have serious thoughts you want to put forward, there's a feedback thread about bullying the moment.
But feedback is usually a serious place so be careful with it.

KKkitty · 02-12-2012 01:14AM

boneyarsebogman wrote: »

Some of these online bullying things confuse me - especially the ones that stem from that ask.fm site. I can't comprehend while people are constantly going back on these sites, despite them knowing that's where the bullying is.

If you get bullied there, stop going there.

Some people think they can handle it. Ask.fm is asking for trouble. I won't be letting my kids anywhere near those sites when they grow up.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 01:15AM

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

What do you see here, ya big thicko? :pac:

It might not be classed as bullying, probably one step down from that.

I see in the threads here. I think it's more sneaky than outright bullying tbh.

Tombi! · 02-12-2012 01:17AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

It might not be classed as bullying, probably one step down from that.

I see in the threads here. I think it's more sneaky than outright bullying tbh.

Actually, one of the things was what do you define as bullying.
I'd wager you really do see it as bullying but don't want to make a big enough case about it.

I could be wrong but I'd see it as bullying.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 01:19AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Some of these online bullying things confuse me - especially the ones that stem from that ask.fm site. I can't comprehend while people are constantly going back on these sites, despite them knowing that's where the bullying is.

If you get bullied there, stop going there.

But if all of their friends are logging in every hour, then you'd feel excluded for not doing the same thing. Then you'd probably get bullied for not knowing the latest news. Vicious circle.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 01:25AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But if all of their friends are logging in every hour, then you'd feel excluded for not doing the same thing. Then you'd probably get bullied for not knowing the latest news. Vicious circle.

There's nothing to see on ask.fm just people asking anonymous questions about people. You can't miss out by not going on it.

Scruffles · 02-12-2012 01:25AM

one off abuse isnt bullying,bullying is long term/continuous abuse in any form,and those who have got less coping skills,confidence and communication ability to deal with it are most at vulnerable towards developing mental illness [eg,youngsters, learning/ developmentaly disabled adults, mentaly ill adults,people from other countries with no support network etc].

real bullies as adults usualy have personality disorders-
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/npd.htm
anyone recognised as bullying others online shoud be court ordered/ASBOd from having internet access,it does happen to convicted cyber bullies/serious trolls.
online users need their protection being taken as priority above the bullies online freedom, online communities is the most common social form used by disabled people who otherwise woud not be able to access it IRL,the government especialy shoud have stricter laws in place to protect vulnerable groups from predatory advantage taking individuals.

am speaking as someone who was severely online bullied for a number of years by one person,have been physicaly and verbaly bullied entire life due to disabilities despite having always physicaly fought back,but it was nothing in comparison to online bullying, people think switching off a computer removes the bullying,they dont have a clue how the mind works.
the internet is the only lifeline to the outside world for some of us,so its easy for us to be taken advantage of.
theyre also the biggest cowards;they woud never bully us IRL because they know they woud end up with the sht beaten out of them,theyre all sissies.

Paddy Cow · 02-12-2012 01:32AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But if all of their friends are logging in every hour, then you'd feel excluded for not doing the same thing. Then you'd probably get bullied for not knowing the latest news. Vicious circle.

If someone's friends are going to bully them for not going on a site where they are likely to be bullied, that person needs to get better friends.

When used correctly, social media is great. Keep your profile private and block anyone who starts causing trouble. The problem with celebs and sites like twitter is they have their profile public and instead of ignoring the gobsh!tes, they react to them. If they never got any attention, they would get bored and go away.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 01:33AM

GarIT wrote: »

No they don't, I'm a teen and people get slagged because they have an account, only the people with no friends go on ask.fm. There is peer pressure not to be on ask for fm, there is no peer pressure to go on it.

There is no news on ask.fm its a site where you can leave anonymous opionions on anyone with an account and rate them.

But maybe that's not same for all age groups? Not saying it is.

But the father of one the victims (can't remember the poor girl's name) was on the 2Fm with Colm Hayes, and he was saying they were all on the likes of ask.fm and they'd feel totally excluded if they weren't part of it. But they were young, and not sure what age-group you come from.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 01:37AM

Paddy Cow wrote: »

If someone's friends are going to bully them for not going on a site where they are likely to be bullied, that person needs to get better friends.

When used correctly, social media is great. Keep your profile private and block anyone who starts causing trouble. The problem with celebs and sites like twitter is they have their profile public and instead of ignoring the gobsh!tes, they react to them. If they never got any attention, they would get bored and go away.

But these are young teenagers we are taking about here, so we can't say that. You surely remember when you were that age? It must be so much worse now.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 01:40AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But maybe that's not same for all age groups? Not saying it is.

But the father of one the victims (can't remember the poor girl's name) was on the 2Fm with Colm Hayes, and he was saying they were all on the likes of ask.fm and they'd feel totally excluded if they weren't part of it. But they were young, and not sure what age-group you come from.

Its the same for everyone. Out of intrest from a thread the other day we asked around a local school because a friend is thinking of using the actions of victims in relation to bullying for a thesis, result of it was 1 in 20 people between 13 and 18 have used ask.fm 100% of users of ask.fm have been bullied.

The kids are asking for it really, they are setting up a page that has the sole purpose of letting people say anonymous things about them.

EDIT: Actually as well 100% of people using ask.fm have been bullied for having a profile on ask.fm. e.g. "The state of you being on ask.fm" All I can say is that the kids that are on it really are attention seeking and must have problems.

Social Networking - an ideal platform for cowardly bullies.

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