Social Networking - an ideal platform for cowardly bullies.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 01:45AM

GarIT wrote: »

The kids are asking for it really, they are setting up a page that has the sole purpose of letting people say anonymous things about them.

But how would a twelve year old know any different, in fairness? When I was that age I hadn't a clue about anything, and peer-pressure was a big thing.

Interesting analysis, none the less. Thanks.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 01:48AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But how would a twelve year old know any different, in fairness? When I was that age I hadn't a clue about anything, and peer-pressure was a big thing.

Interesting analysis, none the less. Thanks.

There is a lot of peer pressure not to be on ask.fm yet people still do it. People get slagged and called attention seekers, needy or whatever just because they have joined.

Paddy Cow · 02-12-2012 01:54AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

But these are young teenagers we are taking about here, so we can't say that. You surely remember when you were that age? It must be so much worse now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not heartless and understand that young people want to fit in but young or not, the point still stands. If your friends are trying to make you do something which upsets you, then you have to learn to tell them no or get better friends. I didn't drink until I was 18. All my friends were drinking way before that but they never pushed it with me and it wasn't an issue.

I think the best way to fit in and find friends that suit you are to be yourself. Unfortunately young people seem to think that they have to be really popular and have loads of friends etc and it's not until they get older that they realise the value of having a few very good close friends and loads of acquaintances.

The internet can be a great place if used properly. Certain sites are a free for all and best avoided unless you have a very thick skin. It's best to stick with moderated sites and like I said, if you have a profile on social media sites, keep your profile private.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 01:55AM

I just went on ask.fm there and went onto a random profile, the first person on it is a 16 year old girl from cork telling people about how she is depressed recently and bragging that she has been riding her boyfriend. I don't see how you could be asking for it any more than that.

Next profile is a girl, cant see her age or location, but she looks young and she's talking about her and her firend's bra and dress sizes, classy.....

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 02:00AM

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Don't get me wrong, I'm not heartless and understand that young people want to fit in but young or not, the point still stands. If your friends are trying to make you do something which upsets you, then you have to learn to tell them no or get better friends. I didn't drink until I was 18. All my friends were drinking way before that but they never pushed it with me and it wasn't an issue.

I think the best way to fit in and find friends that suit you are to be yourself. Unfortunately young people seem to think that they have to be really popular and have loads of friends etc and it's not until they get older that they realise the value of having a few very good close friends and loads of acquaintances.

The internet can be a great place if used properly. Certain sites are a free for all and best avoided unless you have a very thick skin. It's best to stick with moderated sites and like I said, if you have a profile on social media sites, keep your profile private.

Paddy, I have to totally disagree here. At that age you just want to fit in, any way you can. You just don't have the sense to say "no", especially if everyone is in the same boat.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 02:05AM

Third person im onto, also a girl, her profile and half the questions are in polish, the questions she has been asked (the ones in english) include:
I would **** you she says please do
Whats your favourite sex position? she says 69
Have you ever had sex in public? she says yes
Whats your bra size? she says not telling
Whats one of your favourite dirty things? she says perv
Have you ever faked an orgasm? she says no

And guess what, she is the ripe old age of 15.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 02:09AM

I think my point is proven that the victims look for the bullies online, the bullies dont neet to look for victims.

I'm studying computer science and I'm specalising in security, its not social security, its more protecting from online threats but social protection and security is slightly related and I know for a fact that there has never been a case of bullying that couldn't have been stopped in under 60 seconds and wouldnt leave the victim left out of anything, doesnt involve deleting profiles or anything.

As a side note profiles on all major social sites automatically default to private for under 18s. If you are under 18 on Facebook nobody can talk to you without you giving them permission first, people do get banned from facebook for even a small bit of harrassment. Pages can be closed in minutes.

WumBuster · 02-12-2012 02:12AM

GarIT wrote: »

I just went on ask.fm there and went onto a random profile, the first person on it is a 16 year old girl from cork telling people about how she is depressed recently and bragging that she has been riding her boyfriend. I don't see how you could be asking for it any more than that.

Next profile is a girl, cant see her age or location, but she looks young and she's talking about her and her firend's bra and dress sizes, classy.....

You might say ''asking for it'' but you are talking about a 16 year old girl there who dosent have much in the way of common sense who is only trying to impress her friends with rubbish talk.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 02:14AM

WumBuster wrote: »

You might say ''asking for it'' but you are talking about a 16 year old girl there who dosent have much in the way of common sense who is only trying to impress her friends with rubbish talk.

If they don't know better by around 12 -13 their parents really are failures. I wen't through years of my parents lecturing me about being safe on the internet and it worked, nothing ever happened.

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 02:14AM

GarIT wrote: »

I think my point is proven that the victims look for the bullies online, the bullies dont neet to look for victims.

Absolute bullshít. Are you a WUM or what?

Tony Soprano. · 02-12-2012 02:15AM

GarIT wrote: »

If they don't know better by around 12 -13 their parents really are failures.

Yeah, you're a troll (I hope). Pretty sad considering the seriousness of the subject. Pretty sad indeed. Pathetic, actually.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 02:17AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

Absolute bullshít. Are you a WUM or what?

What is a WUM? and no I'm not s Troll, if you look around ask.fm you will see the information being posted is nearly hard to believe.

WumBuster · 02-12-2012 02:35AM

GarIT wrote: »

If they don't know better by around 12 -13 their parents really are failures. I wen't through years of my parents lecturing me about being safe on the internet and it worked, nothing ever happened.

Well you were lucky having streetwise enough parents to be able to teach you about all these things and shield you from it all.
Unfortunately I and many others werent as lucky with these things when we were teenagers and had to learn about things the hard way, such as bullying. Its a tough world out there being a teenager and you need to learn from your own mistakes quickly. Issues such as learning how to communicate with others, fitting in, dealing with your emotions, sexuality or whatever else. Its called growing up.

ASVM · 02-12-2012 02:42AM

A few weeks ago I had a look at the site myself and was utterly shocked. Call me old fashioned but where are these kids parents.I know little about computers so don't know if parents could block this site from say a family laptop.Maybe kids this age should not be using social media. It's like facebook there are some very young kids on it and I don't think it's a good idea.

I saw the interview with the Dad of one of the girls who took her own life after being bullied on this site(ask.fm) and he said it was a site for younger teenagers thirteen, fourteen year old age group.It is so utterly sad and tragic for these poor parents.

GarIT · 02-12-2012 02:45AM

ASVM wrote: »

I know little about computers so don't know if parents could block this site from say a family laptop.

It can be done very easily, most family protection filters will block ask.fm. It's funny that I've been annoyed and affected by this oddly tonight, So from tomorrow I'll be getting a company I used to work for to install family protection filters at heavily discounted prices.

ASVM · 02-12-2012 02:59AM

GarIT wrote: »

It can be done very easily, most family protection filters will block ask.fm.

Yeah the onus really has to be on parents then. Young teenagers need to be guided, protected and given firm boundaries.I definitely wouldn't let my child( only a toddler yet) use it.

In one way maybe it's a bad thing that our world has become so computer/technology driven.Wouldn't it be much better for a teenager to be involved in real life activities like sport,reading,going to the cinema rather than typing stuff into a computer or phone.

But this is the way the world is going now. In a discount shop the other day my toddler picked out an imitation i phone which I then got for her - at two tv ads are already influencing her - it's crazy!

ASVM · 02-12-2012 03:02AM

GarIT wrote: »

It can be done very easily, most family protection filters will block ask.fm. It's funny that I've been annoyed and affected by this oddly tonight, So from tomorrow I'll be getting a company I used to work for to install family protection filters at heavily discounted prices.

I think that's a wonderful idea. A life could be saved.:)

Piliger · 02-12-2012 03:13AM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

I think we're seeing it more and more of late. Like a few young girls committing suicide, due to online bulling, is serious stuff indeed.

Or you could take someone like Ryan Tubridy, who had to close his Twitter account due to the abuse he was getting. But who would have the balls to ring up his radio show and say it to his face? Or when passing him on the street? Just send him a cowardly tweet instead. Pretty sad.

We even see it on boards.ie (especially in the After Hours forum) - posters lingering about to make that sneaky smart comment on a thread; whilst still not trying to come across as a bully at the same time.. They're smarter than we think. I reckon these people have serious personal issues. Most of us would take it with a pinch of salt, but others may not, and take it to heart.

Anyway, not sure if there's anything can be done about it. Or is there?

Social Networking is the worst place to bully. It is so easy to block people. This is the issue that is totally ignored in all of the ridiculous hype that goes on. If these children who are committing suicide were properly versed in how to use their applications, there would be no problem. But parents are allowing their children to go online with absolutely no education on how to handle themselves and the software.

Allyall · 02-12-2012 03:14AM

I don't know why Facebook don't have moderators like Boards.. (Any forum)

By Country/Age/Chosen Filters/Etc..

I mean they are supposed to be worth millions.. (Billions?)
Surely they could employ proper mods.

They don't have to block freedom of speech But if people are aggressive/disagree with someones post, block them from it, or REMOVE THE POST!

It's not Rocket Salad Science.

It would stop 99% of News Stories from even happening in the U.K.

It would stop some kids getting bullied,
Aaaggh it's not that hard.. For the rest of the internet (And for a lot of people FB is their only internet) There are filters and mods..

Piliger · 02-12-2012 03:15AM

ASVM wrote: »

A few weeks ago I had a look at the site myself and was utterly shocked. Call me old fashioned but where are these kids parents.I know little about computers so don't know if parents could block this site from say a family laptop.Maybe kids this age should not be using social media. It's like facebook there are some very young kids on it and I don't think it's a good idea.

I saw the interview with the Dad of one of the girls who took her own life after being bullied on this site(ask.fm) and he said it was a site for younger teenagers thirteen, fourteen year old age group.It is so utterly sad and tragic for these poor parents.

These parents are the ones who are to blame for not doing their duty and exercising their responsibilities as parents.

Aciiiiiiiiiiid · 02-12-2012 03:34AM

Allyall wrote: »

I don't know why Facebook don't have moderators like Boards.. (Any forum)

By Country/Age/Chosen Filters/Etc..

I mean they are supposed to be worth millions.. (Billions?)
Surely they could employ proper mods.

They don't have to block [SIZE="1"]freedom of speech[/SIZE] But if people are aggressive/disagree with someones post, block them from it, or REMOVE THE POST!

It's not Rocket Salad Science.

It would stop 99% of News Stories from even happening in the U.K.

It would stop some kids getting bullied,
Aaaggh it's not that hard.. For the rest of the internet (And for a lot of people FB is their only internet) There are filters and mods..

mods for a site with close to a billion users... It's not gonna happen

ASVM · 02-12-2012 03:36AM

Piliger wrote: »

These parents are the ones who are to blame for not doing their duty and exercising their responsibilities as parents.

Look the man I saw in the interview was naturally devasted at the loss of his daughter. Lots of parents aren't in touch with every single little thing their kids are doing but I do agree that parents do need to keep on top of things.It has to be a primary duty of parenting.

What troubles me is that kids nowadays just want to be stuck to a phone or a computer because it's the " in thing" to do. Parents then give in to pressure and buy them an i phone or whatever and credit and away the kids go.The kids don't get to develop adequate social skills because in my opinion social networking sites are great but can never replace real verbal communication.Also I think social networking requires a certain maturity and I don't think young teenagers would yet have that kind of maturity.It must be really difficulty trying to raise teenagers today - thank God I don't have any yet! I wonder where all this will be at in twenty years.

Allyall · 02-12-2012 03:38AM

Aciiiiiiiiiiid wrote: »

mods for a site with close to a billion users... It's not gonna happen

By Country and then by age/chosen filters..

Could easily happen. They make money from their advertisers, they pay mods per Country. Some countries wouldn't need as much moderation, some would need loads.. Tough shít if they have to pay. If they want to keep their cráp site alive, pay up, employ people.

If someone lies about age and chooses no filters, then they can't complain about someones sick jokes/unprivate messages/harrassment etc etc etc etc etc etc etc..

They make Millions out of Ireland alone. If we introduced such a law, they could choose to block us, or comply.

Only real problem is, then you have internet censorship, but you could just apply it to social networking sites, where most of the bullying is taken seriously by the victims..

There is loads of room here for perfecting it.. But the jist is there.

I would be against censorship and other stuff, but we had that before the internet came..

I'm just giving an example

J_E · 02-12-2012 03:38AM

Allyall wrote: »

I don't know why Facebook don't have moderators like Boards.. (Any forum)

Privacy concerns would spring to mind before anything else, not to mention the staggering amount of data processed every second on Facebook. Boards.ie is a little different in the sense that it is a public forum.

ASVM · 02-12-2012 03:45AM

Cydoniac wrote: »

Privacy concerns would spring to mind before anything else, not to mention the staggering amount of data processed every second on Facebook. Boards.ie is a little different in the sense that it is a public forum.

Is it possible to design some kind of new social networking forum for younger users?

Just an idea.Think a lot of parents are going to start sitting up and taking more notice about this issue in the future.

fryup · 02-12-2012 09:45AM

you see in the past, if a child was being bullied at school at least he/she would have the sanctuary of home to escape it........but nowadays with computers and mobile phones its always there it follows them wherever they go.. thus increasing the distress they're under

GarIT · 02-12-2012 04:40PM

ASVM wrote: »

In one way maybe it's a bad thing that our world has become so computer/technology driven.Wouldn't it be much better for a teenager to be involved in real life activities like sport,reading,going to the cinema rather than typing stuff into a computer or phone.

Why do people think this is a bad thing, old people seem so scared of technology that they wont get involved and then their lack of knowledge causes these problems. Why is going to the cinema better than being on the internet? Sport and Reading are ovbiouly better but for recreation I don't see why people think anything is better than the internet.

Allyall wrote: »

I don't know why Facebook don't have moderators like Boards.. (Any forum)

It would stop some kids getting bullied,
Aaaggh it's not that hard.. For the rest of the internet (And for a lot of people FB is their only internet) There are filters and mods..

There do have moderators, but the law prevents them reading anything that is set to private unless you ask them to. They don't read everything that is posted but they read everything they are asked to. Every single post, message, picture, video, link, page comes with a report option in the top right corner, usually they are read and dealt with within an hour.

They don't talk to people like the mods on boards but they do often delete posts and ban people.

The problem is kids wont use them, they rather fight back than have it stopped. If someone says something all you have to do is click on the top right corner and click report, it asks you why you want to report it and then it gives you the option to block the person or keep talking to them. I don't see why people don't use it. I've gotten a few people deleted over the years. The only answer I can see is that the kids are asking for the trouble, they seem to enjoy the drama.

ASVM wrote: »

Is it possible to design some kind of new social networking forum for younger users?

Just an idea.Think a lot of parents are going to start sitting up and taking more notice about this issue in the future.

There are several hundred and they are all crap and they are no better than anything else, Facebook is probably even safer. Sites just for kids are usually targeted by paedophiles pretending to be kids because they know there wont be adults on it. Its never going to work unless people are asked to send in a passport to join.

Which Facebook already do, if you report someone for not being who they are Facebook will ask to see their passport.

fryup wrote: »

you see in the past, if a child was being bullied at school at least he/she would have the sanctuary of home to escape it........but nowadays with computers and mobile phones its always there it follows them wherever they go.. thus increasing the distress they're under

The kids have the option of who they want to allow talk to them. It's not like someone can keep talking to the kids without the kids permission.

nlgbbbblth · 02-12-2012 05:09PM

Tony Soprano. wrote: »

Or you could take someone like Ryan Tubridy, who had to close his Twitter account due to the abuse he was getting. But who would have the balls to ring up his radio show and say it to his face? Or when passing him on the street? Just send him a cowardly tweet instead. Pretty sad.

So is it ok to shout abuse to someone's face but wrong when it's anonymous?

fryup · 03-12-2012 09:21PM

GarIT wrote: »

The kids have the option of who they want to allow talk to them. It's not like someone can keep talking to the kids without the kids permission.

yes, but what about when someone sets up a nasty FB page about someone..a victim has no control over that..they may complain but it could be weeks before anything is done about it

GarIT · 03-12-2012 09:41PM

fryup wrote: »

yes, but what about when someone sets up a nasty FB page about someone..a victim has no control over that..they may complain but it could be weeks before anything is done about it

Gerally its gone within an hour or two, at times pages have been removed within minutes.

Social Networking - an ideal platform for cowardly bullies.

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