Undertakers, (I want to be one!)

Red Hand

mikemac1 wrote: »

Able to do the job but a naggin in the jacket pocket and in the car always

I'm not a doctor or undertaker or anything even close to important as either of them, however I vouch for this whole heartedly.:)

MagicSean

Ghandee wrote: »

I've been thinking of this for a long time now,


Undertakers must have poetry good jobs?

Right, apart from dealing with death all the time, and possibly some tragic funerals (kids for example) they must have made one of the best career choices ever.

Think about it.


The pays good (ever seen an undertakers bill?)
Cool uniform.
Get to drive/be chauffeured in nice cars.
Job variation. (pretty sure they'll only bury the one guy, one time)
Job security. (constant stream of clients)

Struggling to find anything bad about an undertaker job tbh, except maybe lifting the coffins, that'd be about the only real manual labour involved in the job.



Anyone here ever worked as, or is an undertaker?

Could you do the job?

Interested to hear AH opinions on this.

You do know undertakers often have to remove dead people from their place of death?

The last body I helped an undertaker move had his face mostly eaten by maggots. Because he was lying on his face the edges of his face had kinda fused to floor and created a nice home for the maggots. He was also 25 stone and naked and had died on the toilet. The whole front of his body had filled up with his bodily fluids and had started to leak out.

He had to be peeled up from the floor and put in a body bag. As soon as he was moved the smell was overpowering. It still makes me sick thinking of it. The maggots also fell out of their nice home and covered the floor. Eventually he was in the body bag but then there was the issue of getting him down the very narrow stairs. He had to be carried because the stretcher wouldn't fit. It was pretty tough going, especially when the body bag started to tear along the zip. A second bag was added and the man was finally gotten onto the stretcher and wheeled out.

So in conclusion op, no I would not want to be an undertaker.

My name is URL

MagicSean wrote: »

You do know undertakers often have to remove dead people from their place of death?

The last body I helped an undertaker move had his face mostly eaten by maggots. Because he was lying on his face the edges of his face had kinda fused to floor and created a nice home for the maggots. He was also 25 stone and naked and had died on the toilet. The whole front of his body had filled up with his bodily fluids and had started to leak out.

He had to be peeled up from the floor and put in a body bag. As soon as he was moved the smell was overpowering. It still makes me sick thinking of it. The maggots also fell out of their nice home and covered the floor. Eventually he was in the body bag but then there was the issue of getting him down the very narrow stairs. He had to be carried because the stretcher wouldn't fit. It was pretty tough going, especially when the body bag started to tear along the zip. A second bag was added and the man was finally gotten onto the stretcher and wheeled out.

That's the way I want to go

DEFTLEFTHAND

I'd inquire with some of the firms in your area. See about getting an apprenticeship or something. I'm sure there's probably training courses etc but it might be a good way to get your foot in the door.

DEFTLEFTHAND

MagicSean wrote: »

You do know undertakers often have to remove dead people from their place of death?

The last body I helped an undertaker move had his face mostly eaten by maggots. Because he was lying on his face the edges of his face had kinda fused to floor and created a nice home for the maggots. He was also 25 stone and naked and had died on the toilet. The whole front of his body had filled up with his bodily fluids and had started to leak out.

He had to be peeled up from the floor and put in a body bag. As soon as he was moved the smell was overpowering. It still makes me sick thinking of it. The maggots also fell out of their nice home and covered the floor. Eventually he was in the body bag but then there was the issue of getting him down the very narrow stairs. He had to be carried because the stretcher wouldn't fit. It was pretty tough going, especially when the body bag started to tear along the zip. A second bag was added and the man was finally gotten onto the stretcher and wheeled out.

So in conclusion op, no I would not want to be an undertaker.

You're a Garda aren't you? I imagine you see a lot nasty scenes in your job. They say you never forget the smell of decomposing flesh.

hedzball

MCMLXXV wrote: »

The forensics do all that sh1t dude.

The undertaker lads get to dress blacktie and chill all day.

No..

At a suicide after forensics have taken their pictures and what all else..

The victim is removed by the undertakers..

I know of this first hand.

Sadly.









'hdz

Big Nasty

hedzball wrote: »

No..

At a suicide after forensics have taken their pictures and what all else..

The victim is removed by the undertakers..

I know of this first hand.

Sadly.









'hdz

Is that why you twitch?

'hdz

MagicSean

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

You're a Garda aren't you? I imagine you see a lot nasty scenes in your job. They say you never forget the smell of decomposing flesh.

Vicks Vaporub helps

seven_eleven

MagicSean wrote: »

You do know undertakers often have to remove dead people from their place of death?

The last body I helped an undertaker move had his face mostly eaten by maggots. Because he was lying on his face the edges of his face had kinda fused to floor and created a nice home for the maggots. He was also 25 stone and naked and had died on the toilet. The whole front of his body had filled up with his bodily fluids and had started to leak out.

He had to be peeled up from the floor and put in a body bag. As soon as he was moved the smell was overpowering. It still makes me sick thinking of it. The maggots also fell out of their nice home and covered the floor. Eventually he was in the body bag but then there was the issue of getting him down the very narrow stairs. He had to be carried because the stretcher wouldn't fit. It was pretty tough going, especially when the body bag started to tear along the zip. A second bag was added and the man was finally gotten onto the stretcher and wheeled out.

So in conclusion op, no I would not want to be an undertaker.

Somebody has to do the job. There are many horrible things in this world.

B.A._Baracus

seven_eleven wrote: »

I have a strange fascination with death. although Ive never actually handled a dead body, I would love to see the embalming process or even a autopsy. The human body is amazing. The things they do during autopsies is crazy.

You sir, have issues.

mattjack

MagicSean wrote: »

You do know undertakers often have to remove dead people from their place of death?

The last body I helped an undertaker move had his face mostly eaten by maggots. Because he was lying on his face the edges of his face had kinda fused to floor and created a nice home for the maggots. He was also 25 stone and naked and had died on the toilet. The whole front of his body had filled up with his bodily fluids and had started to leak out.

He had to be peeled up from the floor and put in a body bag. As soon as he was moved the smell was overpowering. It still makes me sick thinking of it. The maggots also fell out of their nice home and covered the floor. Eventually he was in the body bag but then there was the issue of getting him down the very narrow stairs. He had to be carried because the stretcher wouldn't fit. It was pretty tough going, especially when the body bag started to tear along the zip. A second bag was added and the man was finally gotten onto the stretcher and wheeled out.

So in conclusion op, no I would not want to be an undertaker.

In conclusion , nor would I like to be an undertaker.

BrokenArrows

If you dont mind dealing with bodies then yes it would be a good job.

But you do realise that they dont just chuck people in a coffin and bury them.

They have to actually deal with the bodies. Embalming, cleaning suiting up the stiffs.

Grimreaper666

Along with all the smells and the maggots try waiting to get paid!! It can take years in some cases or not at all in others and it's not like you can go and dig them up and take your coffin back!!!

seven_eleven

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

You sir, have issues.

No I dont. Im perfectly fit both mentally and physically. Its not like I enjoy it or anything, Its just interesting.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Grimreaper666 wrote: »

Along with all the smells and the maggots try waiting to get paid!! It can take years in some cases or not at all in others and it's not like you can go and dig them up and take your coffin back!!!

I saw a case on the paper in England recently where a firm removed a headstone from a grave after 5 years had elapsed without them being paid. The family immediately coughed up after that.

meoklmrk91

MagicSean wrote: »

You do know undertakers often have to remove dead people from their place of death?

The last body I helped an undertaker move had his face mostly eaten by maggots. Because he was lying on his face the edges of his face had kinda fused to floor and created a nice home for the maggots. He was also 25 stone and naked and had died on the toilet. The whole front of his body had filled up with his bodily fluids and had started to leak out.

He had to be peeled up from the floor and put in a body bag. As soon as he was moved the smell was overpowering. It still makes me sick thinking of it. The maggots also fell out of their nice home and covered the floor. Eventually he was in the body bag but then there was the issue of getting him down the very narrow stairs. He had to be carried because the stretcher wouldn't fit. It was pretty tough going, especially when the body bag started to tear along the zip. A second bag was added and the man was finally gotten onto the stretcher and wheeled out.

So in conclusion op, no I would not want to be an undertaker.

Wow, don't think it would be for me at all, that day must be vivid in you memory.

Big Nasty

Grimreaper666 wrote: »

Along with all the smells and the maggots try waiting to get paid!! It can take years in some cases or not at all in others and it's not like you can go and dig them up and take your coffin back!!!

Is that talking from experience or is that just a wild assumption on my behalf Grimreaper666? :pac:

Grimreaper666

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Is that talking from experience or is that just a wild assumption on my behalf Grimreaper666? :pac:

Experience.......

anhedonia

Grimreaper666 wrote: »

Along with all the smells and the maggots try waiting to get paid!! It can take years in some cases or not at all in others and it's not like you can go and dig them up and take your coffin back!!!

wait a sec, username, post-count, and thread topic, yikes!!!!

Mickey H

MagicSean wrote: »

The last body I helped an undertaker move had his face mostly eaten by maggots. Because he was lying on his face the edges of his face had kinda fused to floor and created a nice home for the maggots. He was also 25 stone and naked and had died on the toilet. The whole front of his body had filled up with his bodily fluids and had started to leak out.

Dude, were you Elvis' undertaker?

Pilotdude5

Its a dying trade...

Tom_Cruise

I was chatting to the local Undertaker a while back while having a few pints.

He said hes always on call,and can be called at anytime for suicides, accidents etc but he can drive drunk to the scene if need be nothing is said.

He said he has got used to tot he job and it doesn't affect him in the slightest unless a child is involved.

Pretty good job though i would imagine, i think id be up for it. No recession can affect the death rate.

Ghandee

Tom_Cruise wrote: »

I was chatting to the local Undertaker a while back while having a few pints.

He said hes always on call,and can be called at anytime for suicides, accidents etc but he can drive drunk to the scene if need be nothing is said.

He said he has got used to tot he job and it doesn't affect him in the slightest unless a child is involved.

Pretty good job though i would imagine, i think id be up for it. No recession can affect the death rate.

Pretty much same assumption.

woodoo

I think it would be a very interesting job. No two days would be the same. The complete opposite of my job where no two days are any different.

anhedonia

woodoo wrote: »

No two days would be the same.

Unless it was twins who died on separate days in similar circumstances.
would seem a bit monotonous in that case.

Mickey H

The Undertaker:

He'll be the last man to let you down.

delad

Tom_Cruise wrote: »

No recession can affect the death rate.

recessions would be a boom time for undertakers

Scruffles

Ghandee wrote: »

And pipe tobacco and brandy punch.

and they never go short of ash to,useful for all those good friday forehead crosses.:pac:


have seen a docu on undertakers before,cant remember what it was called but it was very interesting.
am actualy surprised the industry has caring people and isnt full of psychopaths.


cant comment on the work side of it but personaly woud be great in an undertaker setting ,am not able to view humans in the same way aspies or neurotypicals do,to self they are objects;a part of the background,and their departure from this world is a concept will never understand so woud have no problem with being stood next to people lying on those freezer/table things.
woud rather be around autopsies,its pretty awesome watching the pros uncover even the smallest detail to what happened to someone,by 'reading' the innards,especialy when some pyscho thinks he has got away with it.

Where To

Grimreaper666 wrote: »

Along with all the smells and the maggots try waiting to get paid!! It can take years in some cases or not at all in others and it's not like you can go and dig them up and take your coffin back!!!

That's the scariest thing I've ever seen:eek:

bnt

I've seen all the episodes of Six Feet Under, and even that fictional portrayal of the job had me going "no freaking way". Not simply because of the dead, but because of the living freaks they have to deal with. :eek: