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Date a friends ex - would you do it?

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    #32
    Princess Peach
    Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    Ellsbells wrote: »
    I really dont get it. You dont own either of them and its very harsh to cut off a friend because they have fallen for someone you know. TBH I see it as very controlling.

    Its just my personal preference. I have no good memories of any of my exes. I can't imagine one of my friends being in a relationship with someone who caused me so much hurt and distress, its a betrayal that would really hurt me. Maybe it is harsh but its how I feel about it.

    I can understand some of the cases here where people have said its ok, but its a situation type thing.

    For me I'm a very loyal friend. I once upset a friend by talking and being friendly to her ex right after he broke her heart. And when I thought about it, she had a right to be upset about it, and I would probably feel the same in that situations.

    I'm not trying to control my friends' emotions, and they can't control mine. Just have to do what is best for yourself in the end.


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    #33
    Emeraldy Pebbles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 787 ✭✭✭Emeraldy Pebbles


    Princess Peach wrote: »
    Its just my personal preference. I have no good memories of any of my exes.

    If you had good memories of any of them, you might feel differently. I have exes that I would be happy for a friend to go out with because I still think well of them, and think they are good people.


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    #34
    Ellsbells
    Closed Accounts Posts: 985 ✭✭✭Ellsbells


    Emeraldy Pebbles wrote: »
    If you had good memories of any of them, you might feel differently. I have exes that I would be happy for a friend to go out with because I still think well of them, and think they are good people.

    Yeah exactly.


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    #35
    msg11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,572 ✭✭✭msg11


    Princess Peach wrote: »
    I can understand some of the cases here where people have said its ok, but its a situation type thing.

    I don't think it is a case of it's ok, it is a case of just leave them to it. I know I would not be happy if the either of them two ex's where to start seeing one of my friends. But I am not god, I cannot control peoples feelings for each other and if they are happy then so be it. No point in been a sore loser about it.
    Emeraldy Pebbles wrote: »
    If you had good memories of any of them, you might feel differently. I have exes that I would be happy for a friend to go out with because I still think well of them, and think they are good people.

    I couldn't handle that type of arrangement. I'm sure they are good people but friends with ex's just sounds like there is a hidden agenda on someones mind. Also it could have a hindrance on future relationships, new partners questioning why you are still so close to your ex.

    One girl I dated before, stayed over her friends house who's brother was her ex. She invited me out to a party, I declined had things to do. Later that night I changed my mind and she still invited me out, her ex was at the party all a bit odd really.


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    #36
    Emeraldy Pebbles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 787 ✭✭✭Emeraldy Pebbles


    msg11 wrote: »
    I couldn't handle that type of arrangement. I'm sure they are good people but friends with ex's just sounds like there is a hidden agenda on someones mind. Also it could have a hindrance on future relationships, new partners questioning why you are still so close to your ex.

    The exes I'm talking off, I'm not that close to, so I'm not sure I know what you mean. Hidden agenda? :confused:


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    #37
    fallen01angel
    Registered Users Posts: 335 ✭✭fallen01angel


    When I was a teenager my friends and I had the unspoken rule of never going where a friend has gone before. And to be honest if any of my friends broke up with any serious boyfriend now I would most definitely still adhere to it as I'm certain they would.But on the other hand if it was casual dating that never progressed then I'd have no problem with dating the guy, once clearing it with my friend out of respect to the friendship.


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    #38
    syjg18
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 42 ✭syjg18


    I won't do it. In our circle of friends, we have the respect for each other.


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    #39
    LizT
    Registered Users Posts: 29,089 ✭✭✭✭LizT


    syjg18 wrote: »
    I won't do it. In our circle of friends, we have the respect for each other.

    I think it's a bit unfair to imply that someone who goes out with a friend's ex has no respect for their friend. It very much depends on the situation and the people.


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