Passive aggressive things people do that annoy you.

--Kaiser--

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

I think you'll find it's a wankery way. A polite way would be to be to simply reply 'google it'. That way you don't have to go to all the wasted effort and you don't waste their time either.

BTW worked in IT for 5 years so no stranger to these types of requests.

So is aggressive behaviour better than passive aggressive behaviour?

El_Dangeroso

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

So is aggressive behaviour better than passive aggressive behaviour?

Yes, it's more honest. But still not ideal. The ideal is to be assertive without being aggressive.

--Kaiser--

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Yes, it's more honest. But still not ideal. The ideal is to be assertive without being aggressive.

Assertiveness itself requires at least a modicum or hint of aggression. Assertiveness isn't going to solve all problems either

heisenburger

When self righteous residents in the estate I park in for work leave nots on my car telling me to 'STOP parking here', and that 'what you are doing is WRONG!'

Then when ever I bump into anyone that lives up there while getting into my car at 5 they say nothing.
Some people...

Hobbes

1ZRed wrote: »

Have a go at me directly like a normal person so we can move on with it or piss the fvck off! :mad:

The only way to combat PA is to give it no where to go. For your example, the first sly comment made, ask them what they mean by it. Don't let them shrug it off. Then do it again. Ask them point blank to say if it is related to the incident or not. If not then tell them STFU.

PA only works because they try not to give you an opening to attack back. So you ignore it and go straight for the comment.

Kev_2012

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

I think you'll find it's a wankery way. A polite way would be to be to simply reply 'google it'. That way you don't have to go to all the wasted effort and you don't waste their time either.

BTW worked in IT for 5 years so no stranger to these types of requests.

At the beginning, it's nice to be nice, but there are people that continuously come back and just don't ever try to do something themselves. There have been plenty of instances in my job/college where someone asked me how to do something, I went to their computer, Googled it, and the answer was literally the first line in the first result, so I would ask them to Google issues in future before asking me.But no, they still ask because they are lazy!

So I feel that this is a good medium between not being confrontational, sending them the message to Google things before annoying others and also some self satisfaction.:D

Defiler Of The Coffin

People who write 'Cheers' at the end of a message/post in a condescending manner. They should have their entrails ripped out and burned and then be eaten alive by zombiefied rats.

El_Dangeroso

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Assertiveness itself requires at least a modicum or hint of aggression. Assertiveness isn't going to solve all problems either

Does it? I wouldn't think so myself, I'd think assertiveness is the opposite of aggression.

Kev_2012 wrote: »

At the beginning, it's nice to be nice, but there are people that continuously come back and just don't ever try to do something themselves. There have been plenty of instances in my job/college where someone asked me how to do something, I went to their computer, Googled it, and the answer was literally the first line in the first result, so I would ask them to Google issues in future before asking me.But no, they still ask because they are lazy!

So I feel that this is a good medium between not being confrontational, sending them the message to Google things before annoying others and also some self satisfaction.:D

Some people make good livings from the fact that people don't google things though, like almost every person who works in IT support!

--Kaiser--

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Does it? I wouldn't think so myself, I'd think assertiveness is the opposite of aggression.

Not at all. The opposite of being aggressive is being appeasing, simpering, ingratiating. Assertiveness isn't even a neutral point between the two.To be assertive there has to be an element of aggression, that you can stand up for yourself if pushed

El_Dangeroso

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Not at all. The opposite of being aggressive is being appeasing, simpering, ingratiating. Assertiveness isn't even a neutral point between the two.To be assertive there has to be an element of aggression, that you can stand up for yourself if pushed

Standing up for yourself does not mean you have to be aggressive, you can firmly, repeatedly and persistently make your point without displaying one single element of aggression (raising your voice, getting in someone's face, instigating a physical conflict etc.)

1ZRed

pirelli wrote: »

Lefty liberal equality laws might be preventing him from expressing his true disgust at you. So he just drops sly hints. Sounds like a career problem, or something similar...is it?

What?

1ZRed

Hobbes wrote: »

The only way to combat PA is to give it no where to go. For your example, the first sly comment made, ask them what they mean by it. Don't let them shrug it off. Then do it again. Ask them point blank to say if it is related to the incident or not. If not then tell them STFU.

PA only works because they try not to give you an opening to attack back. So you ignore it and go straight for the comment.

I found a better solution. Told him to go fvck himself and that I couldn't be arsed being around him.

--Kaiser--

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Standing up for yourself does not mean you have to be aggressive, you can firmly, repeatedly and persistently make your point without displaying one single element of aggression (raising your voice, getting in someone's face, instigating a physical conflict etc.)

There has to be a hint or threat of aggression behind the action. If I tell someone who cuts in front of me to get to the back of the line, if I say it with assertiveness there is a hint that I will forcibly remove him if he doesn't comply. Without the hint the attempt at assertiveness is useless.

Anyway, my cherry picked dictionary definitions of assertive are 'confidently aggressive' or aggressive self assurance' so back off!

The One Who Knocks

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=passive+aggressive+things+that+people+do+to+annoy+me

I think that problem seems to affect the older generations more than us...we seem to be accustomed to googling absolutely anything on our minds, ...it's pretty much second nature to us, while for others the thought doesn't necessarily come into their heads

http://www.oddee.com/item_96932.aspx

bnt

I get annoyed when I express an opinion and people try to turn it back on me - as if anything I say about anything else is always about me.

For example, if I'm on a crowded bus with someone, I might say "this bus is crowded", and the response is "are you claustrophobic?" No, I'm not claustrophobic, the bus is just crowded. I've had another person go in to a near meltdown trying to diagnose me of commitment-phobia, just because I'm not married - the kind of thing that made people hate Carrie on Sex and the City. (It takes, like, two, you know?)

There's a certain type of passive-aggressive amateur psychologist who tries to analyse everything said by anyone, looking for clues about that person. I wish they'd just stop it. Sometimes a statement is just a statement, not an expression of a latent personality disorder. Unless you're a professional psychologist, and I'm paying you for your opinion, you're almost certainly wrong about me.

(If you're now thinking of replying to me in that kind of way ... gee, you're so smart to think of that, aren't you? No-one would ever see that coming ... )

Lunni

heisenburger wrote: »

When self righteous residents in the estate I park in for work leave nots on my car telling me to 'STOP parking here', and that 'what you are doing is WRONG!'

Then when ever I bump into anyone that lives up there while getting into my car at 5 they say nothing.
Some people...

You're lucky nobody has keyed your car yet. That's what happened to most of my mates who parked on other people's estates. I wouldn't get angry over a note. You ARE in the wrong.

bnt wrote: »

I get annoyed when I express an opinion and people try to turn it back on me - as if anything I say about anything else is always about me.

For example, if I'm on a crowded bus with someone, I might say "this bus is crowded", and the response is "are you claustrophobic?" No, I'm not claustrophobic, the bus is just crowded.

Yeah, I hate that...when you make a remark just to make a remark and they assume you were trying to imply something because that's what THEY do! I went into my kitchen the other day and commented on how hot it was. The flatmate goes, 'I've been cooking for ages, I'll open the window as soon as I can!' in a really snappy voice. All I was doing was starting a conversation. If I'd wanted her to open a window, I'd have said that. That's the worst thing about passive aggressive people - they assume everyone is as sad and b*tchy as they are.

Rango555

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

People who write 'Cheers' at the end of a message/post in a condescending manner. They should have their entrails ripped out and burned and then be eaten alive by zombiefied rats.

Me too Cheers!

TheRealSquishy

Lunni wrote: »

You're lucky nobody has keyed your car yet. That's what happened to most of my mates who parked on other people's estates. I wouldn't get angry over a note. You ARE in the wrong.

Surely once the tax is paid on the car you can park it where you like, within reason and the law obviously? Maybe I'm wrong too but once there was no 'residents only' sign up I would park there too. And if I came back to find a note or scratch there would be no passiveness, just aggression, cause I've got balls.*

Also imagine your life being so sh1t that you have to key cars or leave childish messages on them to get your kicks. I have never understood why people take it personally anyway, as long as it's not in their driveway what difference does it make.


*May not actually have balls.

Roisy7

Brain Stroking wrote: »

First World Problems

First world problems is the most annoying phrase ever!

I hate text messages which just read "k"...