What Is Love?

The Big Red Button

For me, it's just being in a moment with someone, and knowing that, right in that moment, nothing else matters outside of the two of you. It's when that person looks at you, and you know that they couldn't look at someone else in that exact same way. It's when you'd very happily do pretty much anything to put a smile on their face - but you know you don't even need to, because it's the tiny things that count, often it's just being there. It's the little winks and touches and smiles, no matter where you are and who's there. It's when the practical stuff just doesn't matter, common sense doesn't matter, you just want to be with that person. It's when they are the person that you want there for the happy stuff, and when that person also wants to be there with you for the sad stuff. It's just a feeling, a connection between the two of you that's special and unique to just the two of you. Words and actions aren't important - you can't influence love, you can't make it happen - it's just there.

Daisy78

No idea. Never experienced it, so can't say.

Ilyana

When you're willing to move mountains to stay with them, even if the odds are against you.

If you'd drop anything to be by their side if they needed you.

Knowing they'd do the above for you.

Wibbs

shrewd wrote: »

For me, i believe Love can be defined as a condition in which the welfare and happiness of another become essential to your own.

This, for me, or how it made me feel anyway. It was like a great acid trip . Colours, sounds everything was suddenly brighter, more real, more experienced when experienced with them. Like a new state of awareness beyond my own kinda thing. How she made me feel was but the start of it, how she made me feel when I knew she was thinking and feeling the same. To nerdify it:) it was like they were a virtual reality extension of me. What made them happy/sad/etc transmitted to me and vice versa. T'was magical stuff and a new me and them was being born from it.

That was the trippy in love part anyway. The real love part was when I realised that I just loved them, through thick and thin, it didn;t matter. The feeling of being part of a partnership, a whole, almost two halves of the same "you". Very ancient Greek

seachto7

Catari Jaguar wrote: »

Usually goes hand in hand with wanting to cuddle up & squeeze them so tight that you are one person. It knocks the air out of you.

This. I haven't had the opportunity in a long long time.........

Ellsbells

I got some bad news yesterday and obviously was pretty stressed. My OH said we would get through it together and then when we were asleep last night (well he was and I was awake worrying), he turned around and put his hand in mine in his sleep. I knew then all would be ok. I love that he wanted to hold my hand in his sleep

Spangles

beks101 wrote: »

When you love somebody, you don't walk away. Even when it seems like the best/easiest/most logical/practical thing to do.

beks101 This is so true.

When the going gets tough, true love will prevail.

cloud_dancer

Bubblefett wrote: »

My grandfather loved my Granny- a real old fashioned, storybook, strong love. I always remember when he was going into hospital the day he died he grabbed one of the nursing home staff by the arm and made them swear they would take care of my Gran for him.
He said the same to my mother moments before the end. She was the only thing on his mind when his time came. Even now I'm sure he still watches over her.

This actually made me well up How beautiful. They are so lucky to have experienced a love so strong and lasting.

shalalala

To me love is missing the person when they are not around. I miss him at least once a day and I really look forward to just seeing him and even more so when we are going to spend quality time together.

I love sharing everything with him. If I have had good or bad news he is the first person I tell and when I have had a bad day a hug from him makes it all feel so so so much better.

I do anything I can to make his life easier. I make him lunch for work or help him find a class that he needs. Anything really.

Also I spend a lot of my time wanting to jump my OHs bones... so damn attractive

Last night we had an argument and we upset each other. He went to sleep on the couch. But we just couldn't do it. He came in to the bedroom and we ended up cuddling and falling asleep. I love him so much

(but he can be a jerk!:D)

Edit: Oh and when I see him in the street, most of the time I want to run to him and I have to contain myself.

Ah_Yeah

I'm not good at putting my own personal feelings into words, but the two quotes below sum up love best for me:

“We are all a little weird and life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” ~ Dr. Seuss

“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~ Robert Heinlein

And I do remember a quote, but I can't find it anywhere, but it goes something like "Love is seeing the imperfect person as perfect".

That's love to me. My great love that I experienced, was definitely that kind of feeling. He enhanced my life, made me want to be a better version of the person I already was, made me feel secure and loved, and never tried to change me. I always wanted only his happiness, wanted to do anything that would make him happy even if there was nothing in it for me, and spending time with him was amazing, even if it was just reading the paper on a Sunday morning together.

flossie

I was talking to somebody about himself the other week and they asked if i was in love. I laughed and asked exactly what love is. Their response:

"Love is when you feel you have found the missing piece of the jigsaw in your life".

I thought it over, and it's true. For the first time in my life, despite us living on different continents, i truly feel complete. I feel he is my rock, my reason, my fun, my laughter, my lover. Despite not being together all that long, this is completely different to other relationships i have been in (including a 5.5 year one!). We are different, in that complementary way, and we make the effort to see this through.

I know how much he means to me when i am considering moving to a different continent in a fairly remote place, to be with him. I miss him every day, to the point where i ache sometimes, in my chest.

God, that just sounds ick, but it's true. Love is unique to each person, and as long as it makes you complete, it's right.

matrina2641

I have been going over and over this exact thought for the past year.

Was with my OH for 5.5 years, got together when i was in 6th year and he was mid 20s...controversy at the time of course but we just clicked so well. I fell in love with him so soon and it took me breaking up with him after 9 months for him to realise the same (he was talking to his mam and she was actually the one who suggested it)

During our month apart, I had fun, I went out, met other boys, etc and eventually he came around and said he loved me etc. We got back together and were even closer and have been since. I went on a j1, went through college and a postgrad, getting into a career etc and we moved in together last year.

But I just got more and more doubtful, not that I didnt love him, but that he didnt love me the way you are supposed to. It felt like I was always the one making plans or teaching new things or trying to remind him to be mindful. (if i look out for you 50% and you look out for me 50% we are both always looked after)

Eventually, I got tired of trying so hard, I know he loves me. He does little things like makes tea when needed, lights the fire, gives hugs, reminds me to do things he knows Ill forget. And no one comforts me the way he does. We fit so well together in so many ways. And for years I literally did everything to make him happy. no price was too much, nothing was too much hassle, I would crave that smile and would do anything to see it!

But I kept having doubts. How do I know this is what I want? Ive never known anything different. Would he have ever known he loved me if someone hadnt have told him. Will I always have to try this hard all the time? Is there someone out there who I will never ever doubt their love? Is there someone out there who I will never doubt my love for them? thinking, why should I bother with all this, if he doesnt care either way?

Its been tearing me apart the past while so last week I called it a day. I couldnt go any further with so many doubts. It wasnt fair on him, he said he was waiting for me to be ready for marriage and I started to become nervous he would propose in case i would say yes and not mean it or say no and crush him. And I didnt want to get married not knowing if he really did love me and vice versa.

For example, I used to ask constantly 'if i was gone would you miss me or would you care?' and I would genuinely mean the question. I dont think you are supposed to even think your OH wouldnt care.

Now that its happened, it seems like neither of us feel that upset. Granted we have to live together until the end of the month but I am shocked at how after so long, it doesnt seem to bother us that much. I know deep down I am trying to not let it bother me because its one of the hardest decisions Ive ever had to make.

But his reaction has shocked me. Its not that I want him to be upset, but his reaction has intensified my doubt that he truly ever loved me the way you are supposed to love someone.

So I wish I knew what it was as well. Because I know I was truly, madly, deeply in love, but I think I slowly just started to cancel out my feelings because I was doubtful of his. Like a defense mechanism or something.

Now I look at people getting married and I think 'really?? theres NO doubt there at all??' and now I think Ive turned into a giant love-a-phob!

Sorry for the mindless rant, I just havent been able to express myself properly since it happened and this thread just cause some kind of emotional haemorrage.

I dont think I know what love is exactly, but deep down I dont think that is what its supposed to be either.

beks101

matrina2641 wrote: »

Now that its happened, it seems like neither of us feel that upset. Granted we have to live together until the end of the month but I am shocked at how after so long, it doesnt seem to bother us that much.

I don't think it's hit home for either of you yet as you're both still under the same roof, seeing each other and presumably talking to each other every day. When you move out, that's when it will become real to you.

I think everyone's experience of love is different and I wouldn't discount what you had with this guy. But you are young and you shouldn't be bogged down in a relationship that's filled with doubt and uncertainty when you have your whole life ahead of you.

I hope you're OK xx

shrewd

matrina2641 wrote: »

I have been going over and over this exact thought for the past year.

Was with my OH for 5.5 years, got together when i was in 6th year and he was mid 20s...controversy at the time of course but we just clicked so well. I fell in love with him so soon and it took me breaking up with him after 9 months for him to realise the same (he was talking to his mam and she was actually the one who suggested it)

During our month apart, I had fun, I went out, met other boys, etc and eventually he came around and said he loved me etc. We got back together and were even closer and have been since. I went on a j1, went through college and a postgrad, getting into a career etc and we moved in together last year.

But I just got more and more doubtful, not that I didnt love him, but that he didnt love me the way you are supposed to. It felt like I was always the one making plans or teaching new things or trying to remind him to be mindful. (if i look out for you 50% and you look out for me 50% we are both always looked after)

Eventually, I got tired of trying so hard, I know he loves me. He does little things like makes tea when needed, lights the fire, gives hugs, reminds me to do things he knows Ill forget. And no one comforts me the way he does. We fit so well together in so many ways. And for years I literally did everything to make him happy. no price was too much, nothing was too much hassle, I would crave that smile and would do anything to see it!

But I kept having doubts. How do I know this is what I want? Ive never known anything different. Would he have ever known he loved me if someone hadnt have told him. Will I always have to try this hard all the time? Is there someone out there who I will never ever doubt their love? Is there someone out there who I will never doubt my love for them? thinking, why should I bother with all this, if he doesnt care either way?

Its been tearing me apart the past while so last week I called it a day. I couldnt go any further with so many doubts. It wasnt fair on him, he said he was waiting for me to be ready for marriage and I started to become nervous he would propose in case i would say yes and not mean it or say no and crush him. And I didnt want to get married not knowing if he really did love me and vice versa.

For example, I used to ask constantly 'if i was gone would you miss me or would you care?' and I would genuinely mean the question. I dont think you are supposed to even think your OH wouldnt care.

Now that its happened, it seems like neither of us feel that upset. Granted we have to live together until the end of the month but I am shocked at how after so long, it doesnt seem to bother us that much. I know deep down I am trying to not let it bother me because its one of the hardest decisions Ive ever had to make.

But his reaction has shocked me. Its not that I want him to be upset, but his reaction has intensified my doubt that he truly ever loved me the way you are supposed to love someone.

So I wish I knew what it was as well. Because I know I was truly, madly, deeply in love, but I think I slowly just started to cancel out my feelings because I was doubtful of his. Like a defense mechanism or something.

Now I look at people getting married and I think 'really?? theres NO doubt there at all??' and now I think Ive turned into a giant love-a-phob!

Sorry for the mindless rant, I just havent been able to express myself properly since it happened and this thread just cause some kind of emotional haemorrage.

I dont think I know what love is exactly, but deep down I dont think that is what its supposed to be either.

Wow, i feel like i'm seeing into my future after reading this.
Note to self: must take girlfriend seriously

Linguo

It's love when you know you can't live without eachother and you'd do whatever it takes for that love and you can feel it!

There's a million ways we both show our love, from big things to little things and they're all hugely important but it's that fire and intensity of love that's so special and unique that makes you know this is it! We're together 10 years next summer and it gets better every single year, it's just magical

Catari Jaguar

Love is when no matter how hurt you are, the moment you see that they are hurting too, you just forget about yourself and would do anything to take their pain away, because it breaks your heart and churns your stomach to see them suffering.

That is for all types of love across the board - of family, friends, partners.

Meangadh

Love is when you are at your happiest and most content in that other person's company. It's that feeling of completeness when they're with you and being so excited for when you'll be with them again when they're not around.

It's taking on whatever crap is going on in their lives and helping them in whatever way you can- because when you love someone their crap becomes your crap.

I always think of that scene in Sex and the City in the last episode when Miranda is bathing Steve's mother (her mother-in-law, suffering from memory issues, perhaps alzheimer's), and Magda (the housekeeper) looks in the bathroom and said "That is love. You love."

(I would say though, that you should only take on someone else's crap if they'd be willing to do the same- love should go both ways, always.)

Tigger99

When you feel like their very presence makes your day better, you have an overwhelming urge to protect them from harm, when you are sitting beside them in the cinema and you have to resist the urge to propose to them there and then.

mashedbanana

As 'auld Tina Turner herself said.... 'what's love gotta do with it? What's love but a second hand emotion'

(even though I'm a die hard romatic behind it all)

It's all very relative to the relationship. I agree with the poster who said to have a 'drunkin chat with yourself' and ask yourself straight out (while drunk) are you happy in this relationship? and if there is even a glimmer of happiness, then zone in on that, and really try to make it work....PROVIDING your other half is also making the effort.

On the other hand..no one is a mind reader. So please do let your other half know if you are having doubt, and (at least)give them the opportunity to try to make things right. Every relationship goes through a lull. Don't be harsh, give it one good shot :-)

syjg18

Love is just our imagination.