What Is Love?

LegacyUser

I'm facing a relationship difficulty at the moment, and I'm hoping that just getting a few responses to this question might help towards me figuring it out...What is love to you? If you say you love your partner, does it mean you want to be with them forever? Can't imagine yourself with anyone else? etc etc.

Princess Peach

Baby don't hurt me......

Princess Peach

I couldn't resist! I'm sorry! :pac:

I thought I was in love before, till I met my current boyfriend and now I'm not sure because the way I feel for him is a lot different, more intense and so much better.

For me love is I think about him first whenever anything happens and it makes me happy to think of him. I think of our future together and that makes me happy. Thinking of things we did in the past makes me happy.

I guess what is really different about this relationship is I do think of our future, and right now I feel I would be happy with him the rest of my life and I have no doubts about that. And I can't see myself with any other guy because I don't see how any other guy could be as good. Past relationships I was full of doubts, wasn't happy all the time, would think if I could do better. Now I just feel very lucky that I have someone who loves me back and some days i can't believe it!

xDramaxQueenx

Love is magic comfort food for the weak

The Cool

Aristotle -
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

Plato -
"Love is a serious mental disease."

x Purple Pawprints x

Interesting thread. It's really got me thinking. I suppose for me it's like Princess Peach said, if anything happens he's the first person I think of, if I'm having a bad day I know he can make me feel better without even saying anything. He's my first boyfriend and we're together almost 2 years now. Some people would say "he's your first, how would you know?" but I really couldn't imagine being without him or spending the rest of my life with anyone else.

ash23

Had a drunken chat with himself about this one night. I think it depends on the person.
For me love is wanting the other person to be happy with no ulterior motive.
I do things because I know he will like them or it will make his day easier. I like looking after him and I love making him happy and knowing I put that smile on his face.
And for no other reason than I want him to be happy. Not so he will do things in return and not because it benefits me, just because I really want to make his life better. Although because it makes me happy too, maybe it is selfish

(PS - he does loads to make me happy too, with no benefit in it for him so it's mutual. I think if it weren't mutual it would be really unhealthy actually)

baby and crumble

Love is different to different people and with different people. There's romantic love, sexual love, platonic/friendship love, obsessive love... I think when it comes to partners it's best when all those (even obsessive love a little) mixes together for someone.

Fr example, I love my girlfriend. I feel all those types of love up there for her, even obsessive. That is, I think about her a huge amount. (Even moreso now were back doing long distance aain...) Obviously not to the point of doing something to keep her with me if she wanted to leave, but obsessive to the point that I would do a huge amount to make her happy.

And that's the crux of it for me. I want her to be happy. I want to do things that make her smile, make life easier for her, take away her hurt, give her joy. Of course I get a huge amount of happiness from being around her and being in a relationship with her. She does things to make me smile, make my life easier, etc. And we both have made sacrifices in our personal lives to keep us together and keep the other person happy. Not by changing to fabric of who we are as a person, but compromising what we want and need from life right now. I'm sure she would much prefer to be looking for work in her field in Canada or Australia, but she has taken on a pretty crappy unrelated job and lives at home with her folks so she can help me through the finish of my education so that together we can go do those things. She didn't put them off forever, but just compromised on the timing. That's love.

I have done similar things in the past, like not kicked up a fuss when she went and did an internship in Asia, like making sure she had money when I was working and she wasn't.

I can see my future with her- in fact she pretty much is my future. That's not to say I couldn't be perfectly happy with someone else. Of course I could. But I don't want to. If it's a choice between going out, finding girls and trying to get them home with me, or sitting in on a Saturday night watching cooking shows while she knits and I read a book, I know exactly which I'd choose. Just being around her makes me happy, and I know she feels te same, which makes me even happier.

I also think if you can have a blazing row and still prefer to be around them when they have just pissed you off no end, well that's as close to love as I've ever figured out.

Man, that went on a bit, sorry everyone!!!

stop animal cruelty

Princess Peach wrote: »

Baby don't hurt me......

Don't hurt me....no more....

Augmerson

Princess Peach wrote: »

Baby don't hurt me......

Madam_X

xDramaxQueenx wrote: »

Love is magic comfort food for the weak

No it isn't.

The strong experience it too.

CathyMoran

Love for me is still getting goose bumps after 17 years, being able to spend time together and be happy while not talking. Love is being able to talk to one another and never get bored. Love is laughing together. Love is sleeping on the other person's side of the bed if they are not there because you love the scent of them. Love is them being 'home' for you. Love is being able to have a disagreement but make up.

rubytuesday86

Love is the text he sends each morning because he knows I love waking up to nice texts.
Love is that first kiss when he walks through the door.
Love is the cup of tea when it's needed. It's that look, that hug, that squeeze.
It's all the little things and everything inbetween

lufties

I also wonder about love, if you love someone a lot in every way but not feeling the sexual attraction,does that justify staying together?

Sorcha16

I'm not sure if this is my personal definition of love but it always makes me cry at weddings.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"

Princess Peach

I would personally class someone who was adamantly closed off to the idea of love as weak.

Stheno

Sorcha16 wrote: »

I'm not sure if this is my personal definition of love but it always makes me cry at weddings.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"

This is probably it for me, it's just accepting someone for who they are, loving them sometimes despite it, taking other occurences/influences into account

I'd a great conversation tonight with the OH, and the quote above probably covers all of the things we talked about.

I'd add in that love not only hopes, but believes in a future and strives for it.

The death of love is a horrendous thing

Spangles

You know when you're in love when your partner's idiosyncrasies make you smile..always...when you cherish every moment together and accept them as they are. When you look forward to the next moment together and appreciate the moment when you're in it - doing even the most normal things. Showing mutual respect and being there for each other...

FouxDaFaFa

I was visiting someone in a ward in Beaumont a few years ago. It was a room full of people who were waiting to have serious surgeries the next day. Everyone was understandably on edge. There was a woman in the bed next to who I was visiting whose husband was lying on the bed with her. They weren't saying anything, just holding hands. Somehow I knew that when visiting hours were over he wouldn't make a fuss, but he wouldn't be leaving her either.

That's love.

Pride Fighter

I've never posted here, but the strangest thing happened to me on Tuesday between around 4 and 4:30. I was getting the bus home from Town with my brother and the bus was full apart from a few seats. My brother got a seat and in front of him there was a seat. The lady sitting at the window had her bag on it and removed it for me and looked at me with the prettiest smile I've ever seen. I smiled back as her smile just seemed to go through me.

I was slightly uncomfortable sitting there, as this person I never met before was able to affect me with one smile. Also cause my brother was there I could not spark a conversation with this lady, as he'd only embarrass me in front of her.

Getting off the bus I took a step on the first step of the stairs. I stopped. I looked up to this lady to see her head turning towards me. She was looking at me!! For about 4-5 seconds, but to me felt like an eternity we looked at each other, she was smiling with the most beautiful smile and I smiled back.

I think in my case it may have been love at first sight. I have never felt that before, and it was amazing.

I regret not asking her number and asking her out for coffee. I only hope I see her again and that the way her smile affected me, my smile affected her in the same way and she remembers me.

If this ever happens, I'll quote this message in the future and give an update. I am not hopeful, but Ireland is a small country. If it does happen, I'll be the happiest person ever. If it does, I guess the old Latin saying 'Amor vincit omnia' is true.

mariaalice

I think its a huge question and very hard to answer, but to the op if you are having doubts its properly not love.

My first marriage broke up I had a few relationships and then I met my now husband and the one thing I can say is there was no doubt's and it was all very easy no questioning things, no having to work on the relationship, it was perfect from beginning, perfect in a calm quiet easy way people say we are like two peas in a pod and I do think we are soul mates...before I met him I would have been very dismissive of the idea of soul mates.

Shivers26

I think love is different for everybody.

I think it's being able to forgive easily.
I think its a hug when you really need one
A kind word, a smile, an inside joke
Still holding hands after almost 8 years and not being too embarrassed to do so in front of friends
Its all the little things he does for me or in our home to make me happy
Its the joy I get from making him happy

beks101

I think love is being on the same page as somebody. Emotionally, physically, mentally, in your life goals and aspirations, in your moral values.

I thought I was in love once. Quite recently actually. But geography became a problem and it was too easy for him to walk away.

Well maybe not easy, that's not fair, as I know he was torn apart by the decision and has been in a state ever since we broke up. But the fact that it even was a decision in the first place, makes me question the very premise of that 'love' I thought we had. It was a deep infatuation, lust, an overwhelming emotional connection, a strong mental bond, but love? I don't know.

When you love somebody, you don't walk away. Even when it seems like the best/easiest/most logical/practical thing to do. That's about it for me.

Eve_Dublin

beks101 wrote: »

I think love is being on the same page as somebody. Emotionally, physically, mentally, in your life goals and aspirations, in your moral values.

I thought I was in love once. Quite recently actually. But geography became a problem and it was too easy for him to walk away.

Well maybe not easy, that's not fair, as I know he was torn apart by the decision and has been in a state ever since we broke up. But the fact that it even was a decision in the first place, makes me question the very premise of that 'love' I thought we had. It was a deep infatuation, lust, an overwhelming emotional connection, a strong mental bond, but love? I don't know.

When you love somebody, you don't walk away. Even when it seems like the best/easiest/most logical/practical thing to do. That's about it for me.

Sorry to hear that Beks. Hope you're alright.

Eve_Dublin

mountai wrote: »

snipped quoted post - Twee.

Have you got some kind of infection or something?

Twee.

mountai's post deleted and quoted text removed.


Twee.

Catari Jaguar

When there's that moment that your heart swells and you can feel love in your eyes. You know that they are literally filling up with love and your boyfriend can see you looking at them with adoration and shiny, softened eyes. I call it "schmushy eyes". Usually goes hand in hand with wanting to cuddle up & squeeze them so tight that you are one person. It knocks the air out of you. I used to get it all the time, and after 8 years, I get it from time to time & it's really special. I seriously go all coy and can hardly look at him. My fiance is like "awhhh do you have schmushy eyes??"

That's the beautiful, addictive chemistry & physiology of being "in love". That fades, and I feel the guilt. As far as love goes this quote from Captain Corelli's Mandolin that I read on another thread here has really struck a chord in me and is the epitome of every decent relationship's lifespan.

shrewd

For me, i believe Love can be defined as a condition in which the welfare and happiness of another become essential to your own.

Bubblefett

My grandfather loved my Granny- a real old fashioned, storybook, strong love. I always remember when he was going into hospital the day he died he grabbed one of the nursing home staff by the arm and made them swear they would take care of my Gran for him.
He said the same to my mother moments before the end. She was the only thing on his mind when his time came. Even now I'm sure he still watches over her.

Shivers26

Bubblefett wrote: »

My grandfather loved my Granny- a real old fashioned, storybook, strong love. I always remember when he was going into hospital the day he died he grabbed one of the nursing home staff by the arm and made them swear they would take care of my Gran for him.
He said the same to my mother moments before the end. She was the only thing on his mind when his time came. Even now I'm sure he still watches over her.

I have to admit, a little tear came out reading that. I think its the kind of love I will always aspire to.

I was chatting to husband about this thread and I asked him his opinion on the question in the OP. He said that out of everyone in the whole wide world I was lucky enough to find you. I thought that was quite sweet.

ash23

I came home from a weekend to find himself had set both fires, ready to be lit. That's love.
He knew I'd be tired and cold and that I love a lighting fire. So he made sure all I had to do was put a match to it.

Simple little gestures that show that he thinks of me. He's not great with words but I never doubt his feelings because he shows love in so many other ways.