Ould sayings that are useful to know

Rubecula

"He couldn't stop a pig in an alley" referred to a guy with bandy legs. A bit off topic but it just sprang into my head. Sorry.

anewme

He could walk under the bed in a tall hat!

(About a short person)

Jellybaby1

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear!

Curly Judge

He wouldn't hit sand if he fell off as camel!

muffler

Did anyone mention yet about not letting the grass grow beneath your feet?

JuliusCaesar

Don't think anyone has mentioned this pearl of wisdom:

Where e'er you be, let your wind go free
In church or chapel, let your arsecheeks rattle



(memory seems to be scatologically themed this afternoon)

Rubecula

There was one we used in Liverpool when I was a little 'un (Little-ish) thats seems to have spread a bit.

"He couldn't hit a cow's a*se with a banjo" (Usually referring to a football player who kept missing the target.

And that also reminds me of:

"He's as much use as a one legged man in an a*se kicking contest."

Which seems to reflect the humour of some of the Liverpool sayings I suppose. Especially as they are now used fairly widely.

3ndahalfof6

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Alice1

"He couldn't hit a cow's a*se with a banjo" I'm hearing that in broad Scouse.....

Ted_YNWA

You should walk a mile in your enemy's shoes .... ( that way you're a mile away & you have his shoes)

Coming home from the "dance" .., well did you meet the father/mother of your children

heard a retired guard say this
" you can beat the wife, but you can't beat the craic"

3ndahalfof6

asking me can I do a certain job, if I can not, my reply is, I might as well be looking up a cows arse.

Curly Judge

In the old days, before mechanical horsepower a good edge on your cutting tools was all important.
Hence:
" Time spent whetting is never wasted"

policarp

The older the fiddle the sweeter the tune. . .:D (Nice one for O 'n' O)

jdsk2006

My grandad used to say
"if that lad had ducks they'd drown" (usually if someone didnt drive the cattle in the right direction )

Curly Judge

Alice1 wrote: »

"He couldn't hit a cow's a*se with a banjo" I'm hearing that in broad Scouse.....

Or, usually about a bad full forward:
"He couldn't hit an elephants arse with a handful of wheat".

Jellybaby1

Just realised that none of the 'ould sayings that are useful to know' that I learned, had coarse language. I never heard any sayings like those. I know, I know, I led a sheltered life, but its a curious thing how folk grow up so differently from each other, lives are so different.

Another thing, some of these sayings I would not describe as 'useful to know', just phrases someone just thought up without any advice or lesson involved in the phrase. Any chance they could be described as 'useless to know'?

puzzle factory

half your age and add seven...........

Jellybaby1

puzzle factory wrote: »

half your age and add seven...........

Is there more to this please?

puzzle factory

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Is there more to this please?

y

if you think your tooo young, half your age and add seven.

Jellybaby1

I would still be an adult then.

KKkitty

The grass is always greener on the other side.
All's well that ends well.

icjzfmq7ewon1t

Theres no need to fear the wind if your haystacks are tied down.

Paddy Whiskey makes you feel single and see double.

He wouldn't get a kick in a horsebox

Esel

puzzle factory wrote: »

half your age and add seven...........

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Is there more to this please?

puzzle factory wrote: »

y

if you think they are too young, half your age and add seven.

FYP

Is maith an t-anlann an t-ocras. [ Hunger is a good sauce ]

Ní mar a shíltear a bítear. [ Things are not what they seem ]

Is í ding di féin a scoileann an dair. [ Literally: It is a wedge of itself that splits the oak ]

mathepac

Abstinence makes the parts grow fonder

God gave you one mouth and two ears for good reason

That lad a a boarding-house reach (pron. retch) on him (long arms)

Too much oats like an officer's horse

Over the water, under the water but never in the water like an egg in a duck's arse

You could take that wan to the creamery (well-endowed lady)

He arrived with one hand hanging longer than the other (empty handed party goer)

CrowdedHouse

(Teacher re cramming for exams)

No use trying to fatten the pig the night before the fair !

doulikeit

A pat on the back is six inches from a kick in the hole

muffler

doulikeit wrote: »

A pat on the back is six inches from a kick in the hole

Mighty

mathepac

A lad with bullock's notions (a man of high ambitions lacking the where-with-all to achieve them)

That lad always got the hind tit (an undernourished or unlucky person)

Is minic a bhris beal duine a shron (talking out of turn can hurt)

Na bac le mac a' bachaigh is ni bacaigh mac a' bacaigh leatsa (mind your own fecken business)

Like an auld lame duck that lad, one of his legs is both the same

Jellybaby1

I think I will give up on this subject now. Wayyyyyy beyond its brief at this stage! :rolleyes:

goat2

pity that the bankers did not understand this,

money was made round to go round,