Ould sayings that are useful to know

enfield

Lets start a thread where us ouldies can impart some wisdom on those who wish to hear.Please add your own to the list. I will begin with four sayings from my brother and Father.

There is none so pure as a reformed hoor.

All things look yellow to a jaundiced eye

There but for the grace of God go I.

He is me deep in conversation.

JuliusCaesar

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Out of sight, out of mind.



Eaten bread is soon forgotten.

Jellybaby1

Came across a similar 'fred' I'm sure. Anyway here we go....

What's good for the goose, is good for the gander.
Hunger is good sauce
This won't buy baby a new bonnet
This won't get the baby bathed ('bathed' was pronounced 'bath-ed')
There's no fool like an old fool
Two wrongs don't make a right.

I'm sure a lot of sayings are Biblical or Shakespearean.

I always remember the 7 P's

Proper prior planning prevents p*ss poor performance.

Jellybaby1

Deleted User wrote: »

I always remember the 7 P's

Proper prior planning prevents p*ss poor performance.

Gosh, that's a new one on me Pappa! But it reminds me of:

Mind your P's and Q's!

dan dan

A good run is better than a bad stand.
If you have too much money,
and you want to be poor.
Just keep a Horse,A Hound or a Whore.

They who carries in a story,will carry out a story.
To hurtful neighbour. Auld scissors ,would you cut.

policarp

Empty vessels make most noise. . .
In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king. . .
Time and tide wait for no man. . .

Redzer7

Do not eat yellow snow.

Don't piss against the wind.

OldGoat

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Out of sight, out of mind.

A bit contradictory.


Ne'er cast a clout till May be out.

andrew241983

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Out of sight, out of mind.



Eaten bread is soon forgotten.

i always felt these 2 contradicted each other.... maybe i'm wrong

OldGoat

Redzer7 wrote: »

Do not eat yellow snow.

Don't piss against the wind.

This one always seems a bit redundant to me. What about the other colours of snow? Red snow, brown snow, grey snow?

I remember "Don't spit windward" or "Don't spit into the wind" as being more commonly used then "Don't piss against the wind". It was a rare thing to hear my da curse.

Jellybaby1

Some folk didn't consider these in the boom years:

Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
Cut your cloth according to your measure.

Curly Judge

Advice, mainly aimed at young girls:
"Keep your finger on your penny 'til you get your toffee"

policarp

Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof. . .

Don't put all your eggs into one basket. . .

passremarkable

its nice to be important but its important to be nice.

belcampprisoner

there are plenty more fish in the sea

Chucken

Love many and trust few, always paddle your own canoe.

muffler

Words of wisdom to dispense to someone who is aggressively seeking something when they are in a perilous position........"never piss on the dog when your hand's in it's mouth"

Rubecula

If at first you don't succeed, hide all evidence you ever tried in the first place.

Once Bitten twice shy.

When running from a bear you only need to be quicker than the person next to you.

Licking boots makes your face easier to kick.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

He who laughs last, didn't get the joke.

Even a cat can look at a King.

Curly Judge

The reason a dog has so many friends is because he wags his tail instead of his tongue!

Curly Judge

First up, best dressed.

The early bird catches the worm but...
its the second mouse that enjoys the cheese.

Do unto others as they would do unto you, only do it first

charlemont

When the cats away the mice come out to play.

Lexicographer

If you want to get ahead, get a hat!

plumpycake

its the cats pyjamas

pdiddy

you can beat a bullock through a gap but you cant beat the stretch in the evening

nice from far bur far from nice

shawnee

When you hear someone promising and boasting without delivering !:p

"we hear the bees but we don't see any honey"

jos28

A stitch in time saves nine.

My Mam used to say one about an hours sleep before midnight being worth 2 hours after midnight. I'm sure it was just a ploy to get us to go to bed. Wouldn't blame her for that !

Esel

He said 'thanks very much', but he didn't say 'how much?'.

It takes a lot of them to fill a pint.

When the finger points at the moon, the fool looks at the finger.

Alice1

It's not the one who has the most that gives the most away
It's not the one who knows the most that has the most to say.

Half a loaf is better than no bread.

A good beginning is half the work.

Wilful waste brings woeful want.

You never miss the water until the well runs dry.

policarp

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

A fool and his money are soon parted.

Esel

Never try to teach a pig how to sing. It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.

Never mud-wrestle a pig. You just get covered in mud, and the pig enjoys it.

Lots more pig aphorisms out there....

Rubecula

"He couldn't stop a pig in an alley" referred to a guy with bandy legs. A bit off topic but it just sprang into my head. Sorry.

anewme

He could walk under the bed in a tall hat!

(About a short person)

Jellybaby1

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear!

Curly Judge

He wouldn't hit sand if he fell off as camel!

muffler

Did anyone mention yet about not letting the grass grow beneath your feet?

JuliusCaesar

Don't think anyone has mentioned this pearl of wisdom:

Where e'er you be, let your wind go free
In church or chapel, let your arsecheeks rattle



(memory seems to be scatologically themed this afternoon)

Rubecula

There was one we used in Liverpool when I was a little 'un (Little-ish) thats seems to have spread a bit.

"He couldn't hit a cow's a*se with a banjo" (Usually referring to a football player who kept missing the target.

And that also reminds me of:

"He's as much use as a one legged man in an a*se kicking contest."

Which seems to reflect the humour of some of the Liverpool sayings I suppose. Especially as they are now used fairly widely.

3ndahalfof6

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Alice1

"He couldn't hit a cow's a*se with a banjo" I'm hearing that in broad Scouse.....

Ted_YNWA

You should walk a mile in your enemy's shoes .... ( that way you're a mile away & you have his shoes)

Coming home from the "dance" .., well did you meet the father/mother of your children

heard a retired guard say this
" you can beat the wife, but you can't beat the craic"

3ndahalfof6

asking me can I do a certain job, if I can not, my reply is, I might as well be looking up a cows arse.

Curly Judge

In the old days, before mechanical horsepower a good edge on your cutting tools was all important.
Hence:
" Time spent whetting is never wasted"

policarp

The older the fiddle the sweeter the tune. . .:D (Nice one for O 'n' O)

jdsk2006

My grandad used to say
"if that lad had ducks they'd drown" (usually if someone didnt drive the cattle in the right direction )

Curly Judge

Alice1 wrote: »

"He couldn't hit a cow's a*se with a banjo" I'm hearing that in broad Scouse.....

Or, usually about a bad full forward:
"He couldn't hit an elephants arse with a handful of wheat".

Jellybaby1

Just realised that none of the 'ould sayings that are useful to know' that I learned, had coarse language. I never heard any sayings like those. I know, I know, I led a sheltered life, but its a curious thing how folk grow up so differently from each other, lives are so different.

Another thing, some of these sayings I would not describe as 'useful to know', just phrases someone just thought up without any advice or lesson involved in the phrase. Any chance they could be described as 'useless to know'?

puzzle factory

half your age and add seven...........

Jellybaby1

puzzle factory wrote: »

half your age and add seven...........

Is there more to this please?

puzzle factory

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Is there more to this please?

y

if you think your tooo young, half your age and add seven.

Jellybaby1

I would still be an adult then.