motherhood

mariaalice

Sharrow wrote: »

Very much so, tbh I am not sure I would have stayed as sane if it wasn't for the internet and sites like this one over the years.

I think as more people have the internet and there has been a rise in 'Mommy' sites and a certain type of culture esposing being a parent (mostly a Mom/Mum) as being the ultimate vocation.

And as marketing people look at those sites and the numbers on them then they try get in on those markets, ffs mumsnet in the UK is now being used for 'won't someone think of the children' type lobbying and being used as a platform to call on the government over there. That is maddnness.

I do think it is women with a certain type of drive and ambition which they pour into having the perfect home and the perfect kids, honestly most of them could do with getting a hobby but instead they cling together in certain toddle groups or primary school coffee mornings or their online klatches happy to judge, pass comments and insist that their way is the only way.

It is freaky to see how certain trends come about on those forums and from one to another and try to establish new 'norms' for parenting.

That is brilliant as an explanation

Millicent

pwurple wrote: »

What's rare?

I meant it's quite rare to have people feeling sorry for you because you don't have kids. I have no issue with women bonding over parenthood at all.

pwurple

Millicent wrote: »

I meant it's quite rare to have people feeling sorry for you because you don't have kids. I have no issue with women bonding over parenthood at all.

Ah sorry, mistook you.

Ellsbells

Millicent wrote: »

I meant it's quite rare to have people feeling sorry for you because you don't have kids. I have no issue with women bonding over parenthood at all.

Yeah why would you feel sorry for people who don't want or have kids. It is hard on people who want kids but can't or don't have them.

Millicent

Ellsbells wrote: »

Yeah why would you feel sorry for people who don't want or have kids. It is hard on people who want kids but can't or don't have them.

I've met the odd one. I mean "odd" in both meanings of the word. :pac: Tis unusual to encounter such a person to be fair but it's irritating when it does happen.

IvyTheTerrible

Something I've noticed since I've had a baby, is that hardly anybody asks me how I am anymore. First question is how is the baby, what's the baby doing etc.

I love my baby and I do love looking after him but sometimes I do feel as if other people just see me as a mother and not as an individual anymore.

Das Kitty

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Something I've noticed since I've had a baby, is that hardly anybody asks me how I am anymore. First question is how is the baby, what's the baby doing etc.

I love my baby and I do love looking after him but sometimes I do feel as if other people just see me as a mother and not as an individual anymore.

You get used to it.

It used to bother me when people would come to visit the baby and not me. Not so much now. I think going back to work helped a lot.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Good thread. I'm going to give a male, not a father perspective here so anything that might appear insulting is merely my ignorance.

My girlfriend's sister had a baby in the last week, my first experience of being closely around a mother, baby and family since my brother was born almost 25 years ago.

The first thing that struck me is that babies are BIG business. I was shocked at the price of some of the clothes we bought as gifts, massively over-priced but companies know people will pay for something that is "cute".

Also the realities of pregnancy is at odds with the hollywood stuff, getting a little snip to help the baby be delivered easily can't be appealing, nor can having a cesarean etc. Necessary but tough.

My mother is 60 and she finds it hard to understand the modern attitude towards motherhood and pregnancy. In her opinion she believes that women place too much of an importance on becoming a mother.

Sleepy

Das Kitty wrote: »

I posted something about my kid on facebook yesterday. He said some things that sounded very creepy out of context and I thought it was funny. I got a private message from a friend advising me to stop letting him watch TV. I took great pleasure in informing her that the suspect content came from a picture book. Bad, bad books!

Really hope that wasn't my "too much doctor who" comment which was very much just a joke

Ellsbells wrote: »

I find motherhood very isolating and that is rarely talked about.

This times a million.

My other half had become quite isolated as a mother. Particularly as she doesn't drive, we're not in a financial position to go out more than once a month or so and tbh, her friends have been quite crap about maintaining contact since she's not out drinking with them every Saturday and since next to none of them have kids playdates etc. are out of the question. With the youngest being in play school now I'm hoping this will change. Maybe through a part-time job or simply through getting out of the house without two little terrors hanging out of her.

There's been an element of it for us Dads too. I really started to notice it as we were writing up our wedding guest list and realising that I hadn't seen some of the people I'd have considered close friends in months, some in over a year. The realisation that these relationships had become almost entirely based on Facebook contact and Gmail chats was actually very depressing.

Das Kitty

Sleepy wrote: »

Really hope that wasn't my "too much doctor who" comment which was very much just a joke

Ha ha no! It was a PM from the wife of another friend. They don't have a TV and computer games are the devil apparently!

You and I both know that you can never get too much Doctor Who!