Are women tougher to work with?

supermouse

Ladies,

Do you enjoy working with other women?

I work in an office of 7 people, 6 girls and 1 man and Christ on a bike it's horrendous. I have 2 possibly 3 colleagues that are horrible humans and 2 that are the salt of the earth. Yet the nasty ones rule the roost, our male boss doesn’t get a look in. They are very negative people, have no confidence, are very b*tchy and love trying to make others feel bad - office bullies really.

My profession is mainly ruled by women so throughout my career I’ve worked with some very challenging women. I changed jobs a few years ago and worked in a male dominated team for a while and can honestly say that I preferred it. There was no cattiness, there was no nasty comments and it was just a much healthier work environment.

What do you think?

And why do you think that it's tougher to work with women?

Do you think that we compete with each other unnecessarily? Is jealousy a factor?

Would be interesting to see people's takes on it.

PhysiologyRocks

I've worked with many men and many women, and on some male dominated and some female dominated teams.

Some women were difficult to work with.

Some men were also difficult to work with.

They're all just people.

There was never really a gender divide, or any tension attributable to gender really.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Ellsbells

Horrendous. All women bosses I've had have been bitches

xDramaxQueenx

Always preferred working with guys over girls. I find a lot of girls are bitchy and hard to deal with. The men I've worked with never seemed to have much interest in carrying back stories.

I have worked with some nice women too though, they just seem rarer.

efb

I find girls really bitchy to other girls

xDramaxQueenx

And no, I don't think its jealously thats a factor, its a clique thats a factor. Lets face it at times we do all love to unleash our inner bitch, it just seems some women do it a lot more than others.

I work with 4 women and 2 men and I have to say they are all brilliant, however I do think a lot of it is to do with the fact that at this stage all of us are married or in a relationships or have children in other words we all have a full life out side work and works is a means to an end and that all. I have been in a situation somewhat like you describe and the only conclusions I have come to is that it is a lot to do with people not having a lot going on in their life except work and jealously. I am not sure what the answer is except to ignore it and realizing the whole point of work is make a living, your REAL life is outside work.

Stheno

Until my current job, out of 7 previous jobs, and numerous different roles, I only once ever worked with a team which had a majority of women in it.

That was for six months out of a total of 13 years.

I found it a bit strange, there was a kind of cliquey sharing thing, like if I went shopping at lunchtime, I was expected to show off what I bought, which didn't work for me when I was buying underwear.

That said, I enjoyed the job, and all of the senior people were women, never suffered from bitchiness there at all.

Every other job I've had has been male dominated, same as my current job, but the women in my current company which is very small for me (100 employees) tend to chat and get together informally, compliment people on clothes etc.

I've had female bosses and it's a 50/50 split in terms of good and bad. The worst boss I ever had was a complete wanker of a bloke who admitted he spied on women using his glass partitions to check them out, and another who modelled himself on stalin.

I have found that women tend to be less willing to form friendships than men, something I subscribe somewhat to women being less into sport, football/rugby/golf chat has been the best way to get to know people in most of the male dominated workforces I have been in

Someone always has an opinon!

Faith

I worked in retail for years, and about 75% of the time it was all women (it was a very busy shop, and there could be up to 8 of us together behind the counter). The 25% of time that we had at least one guy working with us was SO much more pleasant. When it was all women, it got bitchy and cliquey and petty and catty. The introduction of men toned all that down, and it became much more fun to work.

I have loads of female friends, so I'm not the kind of woman who doesn't get on with other women full stop, but I find working in an all-female environment very difficult. The shop was owned by 3 sisters, and they made life hell too. Despite being middle aged, they were constantly bitching, moaning about being left out, and generally making us all miserable.

supermouse

mariaalice - such a valid point!!! The 3 current looneys fit that description perfectly.

I dont think it helps with our office being so small, their negativity urges the rest of the others on and then it gets out of all kind of control. In the past 3 weeks we've had tears, tantrums and hormones galore. Gosh typing that my place of work sounds proper bad! The manager clearly couldnt manage his way out of a paper bag but thats another story ...
:rolleyes:

Scarinae

Maybe I've just been very lucky, but I haven't really experienced this. My direct superior in work is female, but we get on really well - possibly because we're in an overwhelmingly male industry, when I first started she actually said how nice it was to work with another girl. There have been a few times though that we haven't been taken seriously because we're both young women, and both of us have had to fend off unwanted advances from men (not from men in the office, thankfully, but from others that we've met through work trips and networking).

krudler

I work in an office of about 80% women, there can be a lot of bitchiness, lots of backstabbing. I was on a team of 16 women and me being the only guy once, sweet jesus.

gara

Based on my own experience, yes I have found men much more reasonable, rational and generally less turbulent to work with

Stheno

It's been proven that women who spend a lot of time together tend to have the same menstrual cycle, now that obviously doesn't apply to women who have contraception that stops the menstrual cycle, but do people think that might apply?

Several women with pms/the same cycle?

Bigtoe107

Work in retail and only problem i have had is with the women being less inclined to pull their weight with regards bringing in stock and going out in the rain etc. I know the guys are normally a bit stronger but it still shouldn't negate their responsibility. In saying that I haven't experienced any of the bitchiness talked about.

supermouse

Stheno wrote: »

It's been proven that women who spend a lot of time together tend to have the same menstrual cycle, now that obviously doesn't apply to women who have contraception that stops the menstrual cycle, but do people think that might apply?

Several women with pms/the same cycle?

Yes, i think its true. I live with 3 girls and 2 of us are on the pill, but over the course of about 9 months we've all synched - moods and all. Even our male housemate has a monthly low that he calls his period at the exact time we have

Probs too much info?! hahah

beks101

I've rarely experienced this 'bitchy' female boss - I've actually had the opposite experience really.

In my previous workplace, my boss was extremely approachable because she was incredibly empathetic and quite maternal - she cared about her team probably a bit too much. Not necessarily female traits, but I do find that women are a lot more prone to this sort of emotional involvement in their workplaces whereas men tend to be more pragmatic, more focused on problem solving without the focus on people pleasing. Both have their advantages and disadvantages.

What has dismayed me though is that I've worked in big newsrooms all my career and while quite literally the 'people running the show' have been female, upper management has always been male. In my current workplace, the assignment and senior producers I work with on a daily basis are female; the exec producers who make all the big decisions...male. Which is a bit disconcerting.

Chucken

gara wrote: »

Based on my own experience, yes I have found men much more reasonable, rational and generally less turbulent to work with

Is your 1st name Ronan O'

Grayditch

I find women fine to work with on the same level. It's when you're dealing with female higher ups, things get messy. And male bosses too.

Oh wait, it's just all bosses I hate.

My managers are male and female and they're all great, team is mixed also, don't think women are tougher to work with

JJJJNR

It maybe just me but I always find that if a manager as the small and blond combination = nightmare !

Carlos_Ray

In my experience women are tougher to work with. That said I've worked with difficult people of both sexes.

I find that by and large men are more laid back and are less prone to allowing their mood or personal problems to become a drain on the working environment. Maybe its just the women that I have worked with, but as I said its just my observation.

Another personal observation ( and that's all it is), is that a higher proportion of women let roles like "team leader" go to their heads than men do. I've seen such frivolous titles create monsters overnight. It's not pretty.

Its a tough thread to comment on without appearing sexist.A balance in the work place would be ideal, but if I had to choose between working with an office of women or an office of men, i'd choose the latter.

Jelly2

I worked in a heavily male-dominated workplace, and now work in a more evenly divided one. I don't notice now any great difference between my male and female colleagues - the only difficulties relate to an individual's personality traits. There are disagreements between staff, and occasional grudges held etc but thankfully most people are pretty mature about it all.:)
In my last workplace, I found it easy enough to mingle with my male colleagues; the only negatives were occasional sexist comments about females and promotion from my boss, but he was also prone to make irritating comments about the need for single people to take on more work and more demanding roles because married people had lives outside work(!), and about the primitive nature of Ireland (I was abroad)...so he was just a dinosaur, I guess.:)

lazygal

I've worked with both.

My first 'proper' job after college i had a female boss who was a nightmare and another female boss who was brilliant. The nightmare had no people skills, took gossip from other staff seriously to the point of asking me if certain things were true about me, based on nothing but hearsay. The other woman and me (we were a team of three managers with a sales team of about 20) got on great, but any plans or proposals we had were scuppered by the other woman who was well in with more senior people and wanted to keep things as they were.

I've had a male boss who was extremely fair, well liked and great to work with. Couldn't say a bad word about him. In my current job I have a female boss but our team is evenly split male and female, but the overall environment is very, very male dominated and I think our female boss has had to respond to that.

I think how you manage is more down to personality and training (in my case anyway) than being a man or woman. I've seen petty power go to people's heads in all sorts of cases.

Jerrica

krudler wrote: »

I work in an office of about 80% women, there can be a lot of bitchiness, lots of backstabbing. I was on a team of 16 women and me being the only guy once, sweet jesus.

I've had the opposite, being the only woman in an otherwise exclusively male environment, it has its own drawbacks too! Not much bitching, but I effectively had to 'hide' being a woman while I was there. It was very uncomfortable at times.

I've worked in exclusively female teams in retail and the bitchiness would drive you to distraction. What a total waste of energy

I've found the female bosses I've worked with more approachable, but the male bosses better for impartial advice. I honestly wouldn't have a preference over gender though, it comes down to the inidividual.

MissFlitworth

These threads always depress the living daylights out of me Can't say that the women I've worked with in the past have been harder to work with than the men, it's been a real mixed bag. Worst bosses ever were both guys, most unholy irritating and lazy colleagues ever were a group of girls (who were for the main part very young, didn't give a rats about their jobs & had absolutely no work ethic). It always seemed to me that a certain, unfortunately high, percentage of people are just plain old d1cks and the longer you work the more likely you are to be stuck with a few of them, male & female

Honey-ec

I think possibly it depends on the industry. I've worked for female bosses in an industry where you pretty much have to be a bitch and a "ballbreaker" (I hate that word) to progress at all and this definitely reflects in their management style. And then I've worked for lovely women who were the polar opposite but who got fantastic results from their teams because we actually liked them and wanted to do well.

By the same token, the worst two bosses I've ever had were both male. One had absolutely no confidence in his ability and as a result, micro-managed everyone to the point of insanity. This obviously wasn't a gender issue. The other one was an old-fashioned, sexist pig who thought the women in the office, regardless of role or seniority, should automatically defer to the men and should be the ones making the tea, etc. I loathed him with every ounce of my being.

Regarding male v female colleagues, I do prefer to work with men, but only because I have absolutely zero interest in clothes, babies, fashion, soaps or celebrity gossip, so I find myself with very little to chat about if I'm on an all-female team. But that's the only reason.

Handsome Bob

I'm coming from a female dominated sector and I can't say I noticed any high level of bitchiness. The odd underhanded comment about someone's competency at their job if they make a mistake but nothing that would ever step over the line.

One funny thing I've observed though is that males are just as liable to bitch and gossip in the workplace as females are, but they've deluded themselves into thinking that what they do isn't bitching.

Das Kitty

I've always worked with a mix.

The only time I felt like I was being excluded was with a mixed clique, two guys, two girls. It was a bloke (a straight one before someone asks) who was the ringleader.

The worst most conniving boss I ever had was a man. The best boss I ever had was a man. In between I had a mixture and they were all decent to work for.

I find myself caring slightly more about how I come across to other women than I do to men. I don't know why that is, I've tried to get to the bottom of it and I think it's a mixture of wanting to be accepted by my own gender (where I often feel like an outsider in terms of interests and hobbies) and not knowing how to communicate with women as well because I have no sisters.

MissFlitworth

I think I agree with Honey-ec that it's an industry specific thing. If I was going to put forward one group of people as the toughest I've ever had to work with it'd be 'sales people on commission'. I don't know if it's the kind of person that gets drawn to the role or just how incredibly cut throat it can be but they've been the bitchiest, hardest to work with, most backstabbing people I've come across so far. The women were far more visibly bitchy but some of the sly rubbish from the guys was unreal as well. [Based on one job though, they could be lovely outside of that office which was a badly run hellpit in general]

John Mason

i would have agreed with that a few years ago - if you ever need a solicitor, make sure its female, they are bulldogs.

the place i work in now is horrendous because of the called men (tbh there isnt a really one amongst them). all they do is bitch, moan, and are full of negativity.

they are lazy and think everything is beneath them. one of informed me last week, he doesnt believe in filing!!

LittleBook

supermouse wrote: »

the nasty ones rule the roost, our male boss doesn’t get a look in. They are very negative people, have no confidence, are very b*tchy and love trying to make others feel bad - office bullies really.

A German friend of mine who works in HR says they have an expression for this type of situation .... "the fish stinks from the head".

I've found that the quality of a working environment has less to do with the gender of the team than with the management skills and personality (male or female) of the boss.

Bubblefett

I've worked for women, for men, and with women and men. In general I've found it all depends on the person and position. I've had my share of awful and kind male and female managers- all for different reasons. And the same with co workers.

That said, in my last job I worked in an office of just men, I was the only girl and it was horrible. The nature of the work was competitive and the atmosphere was a complete boys club. I hated every minute. I had my work sabotagued, accounts stolen and switched and more. And when I complained and said I wanted to file a formal complaint (to the male boss), he decided to tell the lads I'd complained and told me they said they hadn't done anything so it was all in my head. I ended up walking out shortly after.

gara

MissFlitworth wrote: »

I think I agree with Honey-ec that it's an industry specific thing

I agree and it also makes sense that people with similar personality traits would be drawn to similar professions. This would explain why I have found my female colleagues within my profession incredibly supportive, understanding and easy to work with. Whereas the women I worked with in jobs priors to graduating were largely unbearable and I tend to attribute this to having nothing in common with them and generally being on a different wavelength

Stepping Stone

I work in a male dominated industry and I really like it. There is no bitching or back stabbing and they are mainly laid back.

I am the only female in this section, but we have a small, mainly female section and they are a nightmare. They are so nasty. They are always bitching and Never, ever take responsibility for their own mistakes. They are so sexist too. It really annoys me to hear them constantly saying that men are stupid, are always wrong, are incapable of doing anything right, etc. They seem to think that being female makes them part of some club that I am part of too, so they can make these comments around me.

I never have much to say to them cos the conversation revolves around babies, clothes, celebrity gossip and diets (always bloody diets).

With the men, I can be me, which is great. We talk about normal stuff, have a bitch on a bad day and move on.

I think that I do prefer working with men. They see me as one of the team, and don't treat me any differently.

My worst boss was a female who was a lazy, gossipy cow. My best, a man who just judged me on what I could do, not what I looked like, etc.

Snoopy1

Ive worked with men before, and in April changed to a female team. My god how i regret it. The men were so laid back compared to this team.
I would never ever work for a female supervisor again. Her main role in work it seems is to put people down.
I hate working in an all female team, i wish id never thought the grass is greener.

LittleBook

kindling wrote: »

I am a man and I loathe working with women, they're obnoxious and feel that they have some better that thou right to act the bollocks simply cause they have boobs.

Genuinely believe that a woman can't do a man's job

Ah, the bitterness is strong in this one.

fatmammycat

supermouse wrote: »

Yes, i think its true. I live with 3 girls and 2 of us are on the pill, but over the course of about 9 months we've all synched - moods and all. Even our male housemate has a monthly low that he calls his period at the exact time we have

Probs too much info?! hahah

I think that's a myth actually.

Wibbs

kindling and Pa Dee post any more drivel like that and you'll be gone from the forum. Only warning

*EDIT* because of further thread derailment both Pa Dee and kindling have taken a couple of days break each. Their posts have been removed so the rest of us can get back to having a mature discussion.

meeeeh

I never noticed any difference. I always worked mostly with men, I grew up surrounded by men and my best two friends are male. So I usually prefer mixed or male company but as for work stuff I realy can't tell the difference.

seamus

Personally I've never seen any real difference. Worst boss I ever had was a woman, but that was just because she wasn't a nice person, nothing to do with her gender. Two of my bosses are women and I've no complaints.

I've dealt with a lot of management in different parts of the company though, and the only real tendency I've noticed is that the women tend to be more willing to play the game and work with the politics to get what they want, whereas the men tend to tell it straight more often or bulldoze their way into getting what they want.

The men are also more likely to do something risky without having 3 other people sign off on it, but that could definitely just be a feature of the management I work with.

Quorum

I work on a team of 13 women, there's only one I don't like. It's a very easygoing, non-bitchy place to work. There is a workplace "group" that I'm not part of. Do I care? Not a bit, this is my job, not a sorority. As long as people are easy to work with, I'm happy.

Dovakhin

I really don't think that annoying work behaviours divide out on gender lines. Some people (male or female) are irritating to work with, nothing to do with their gender.

At the moment, I'm working with one of the worst gossips I've ever met in my life (man) and some very serious, hard workers (women).

ComfyKnickers

I've worked with varying degrees of males and females all through my working career. One job in particular I ended up leaving after a good number of years because of the bitchiness of certain women. They would be your best friend one minute, the next they were ratting you out to the boss if you didn't get something done. When I handed in my notice (to move to a better, more well paid job), the girl who was the worst made my notice period a living hell to the point where I couldn't even work out my months notice and I ran out in tears after two weeks. I ended up threatening legal action for bullying if I didn't get a written apology from her and I pushed and pushed until I got it!! The new job I went to was a breath of fresh air, all of the girls were lovely and geniune and I couldn't believe it. I eventually put it down to the fact that quite a few of them were part-time, they were busy when they were in work and basically hadn't time for bitching and cat-fighting. They had full lives outside the office and didn't seem to let work rule their lives. This I think has a lot to do with how you act in work. The girl who was horrible to me lived by her job, her title, her status and how important she was.

As a female, I would actually much prefer to work with men - the majority of them are "what you see is what you get", I think you can have the craic with them, whereas with women, you are always thinking "what's she saying behind my back". Women are a lot more competitive in the workplace I think whereas I find fellas a lot more easygoing.

stinkle

ComfyKnickers wrote: »

They had full lives outside the office and didn't seem to let work rule their lives. This I think has a lot to do with how you act in work.
As a female, I would actually much prefer to work with men - the majority of them are "what you see is what you get", I think you can have the craic with them, whereas with women, you are always thinking "what's she saying behind my back". Women are a lot more competitive in the workplace I think whereas I find fellas a lot more easygoing.

I agree with all of this, especially the "having a life outside work". In my previous job, I was living in a different part of the country to my bf, and so most weekends I'd head off to visit him, or if he was in town we'd usually have plans. So I wasn't in the "Friday night post-work booze-up gang", plus the two people I worked closest with were both guys, one who had a young family and the other was gay and tended to socialise with his own mates. Both were great craic and we were a good team.

I was never really in the girly gang, which was awkward since the place was about 70% women. These women seriously had no lives outside of work, everything was work gossip with them and I personally felt judged on what I wore etc (work could be physically demanding at times, so I never "dressed up", wore heels or even make up unless I knew I wouln't be working up a sweat). Any job-related nights out I went on were actually hard work as "the girls" almost seemed to resent anyone who wasn't in their clique being there, and could be quite rude if you so much as tried to make conversation. And if you felt like taking about anything other than work/celebrities/x-factor/clothes/fake tan then you were quickly dropped and seen as weird. There was absolutely no craic to be had with any of these women, and they often wondered aloud why they were single/not approached on nights out!

It got terribly out of hand one time when a romance blossomed between two people in work and one of the other girls was put out by this and made an absolute show of herself in the process. Personally, I found it hard to take her seriously afterwards, not least because she and the girl she fell out with were "BFF" again not long after but the amount of bitching and backstabbing that had gone on in the meantime was unreal and very unprofessional.

If half the gossips and stirrers involved had anything going on in their own lives it wouldn't have been nearly as bad an environment to work in. It was also unfortunate that some of the "leaders" were well in with the male boss so the behaviour kinda went unchecked. A lot of others from my time there have left, but some of the contracts for the favourites have been renewed and the pattern continues

Catari Jaguar

One bad apple spoils the barrell. Just gotta keep that sort of a person contained. Regardless of gender.

sweeney1971

Sooner work with blokes any day than women, always bitchy and looking for trouble (im a woman)

Glendambo

I work in a female-dominated environment and I don't find it too bad. There are good and bad in each gender.

What does annoy the crap out of me is the unspoken rule that if there are promotions at any point a man has to get at least one of them because there are so few men and it might be seen as sexist to ignore them. This is regardless of their ability.

Equally there have been women who were promoted to positions they aren't able for due to how long they have worked here.

Depressing if you're the right side of 40.

michellie

I currently work with 7 men and don't miss the female bitchyness at all! Listening to friends going on about their workplaces and mine sounds ideal.

Thought there is still a lot of moaning and whinging but I blame pressure on management for that.

christina_x

women can be horrible to work with. im normally the nice one, today i wasnt xD