Ann Romney: Praises Moms - insults women?

MadsL

Ann Romney just gave a speech at the Republican National Convention.

It's the moms who always have to work a little harder, to make everything right.

It's the moms of this nation -- single, married, widowed -- who really hold this country together. We're the mothers, we're the wives, we're the grandmothers, we're the big sisters, we're the little sisters, we're the daughters.

You know it's true, don't you?

You're the ones who always have to do a little more.

You know what it's like to work a little harder during the day to earn the respect you deserve at work and then come home to help with that book report which just has to be done.

You know what those late night phone calls with an elderly parent are like and the long weekend drives just to see how they're doing.

You know the fastest route to the local emergency room and which doctors actually answer the phone when you call at night.

You know what it’s like to sit in that graduation ceremony and wonder how it was that so many long days turned into years that went by so quickly.

You are the best of America.

You are the hope of America.

There would not be an America without you.

Tonight, we salute you and sing your praises.

Isn't that a kick in the head to the many women who choose to be child-free or are unable to conceive? I'm astonished that another woman can be so dismissive of her sex's achievements. (A 2004 U.S. Census study found that 18.4% of U.S. women age 35–44 were childless.)

A few childfree American women for your consideration who are not "the best of America" according to Ann Romney.

Dancer Dita von Teese, 39
“I don’t need children to claim I’m a fulfilled woman.”

Actress Cameron Diaz, 39
“Children aren’t the only things that bring you gratification and happiness. And honestly? We don’t need any more kids. We have plenty on this planet.”

“Eat, Pray, Love” author Elizabeth Gilbert
Ended up divorced over not wanting children.

Georgia O'Keefe, Condoleezza Rice, Oprah Winfrey, Marilyn Monroe, Louisa May Alcott, Kathy Bates, Katharine Hepburn, Debbie Harry, Rebecca Romijn, Jacqueline Bissett, Rosa Parks, Stockard Channing, Bo Derek, Eva Gabor, Greta Garbo, Ava Gardner, Kim Cattrall, Gloria Gaynor, Lauren Hutton, Stevie Nicks, Christine McVie, Kim Novak, Dolly Parton, Molly Peacock, Minnie Pearl, Bernadette Peters, Bonnie Raitt, Ayn Rand, Rachel Ray, Sally Ride, Ginger Rogers, Diane Sawyer, Marlo Thomas, Lily Tomlin, Dawn Wells, Mae West, Eudora Welty, Edith Wharton, Betty White, Emily Dickinson, Julia Child, Pam Grier, Gertrude Stein.

Whilst "family-values" America warms to this woman, I cannot help but feel she has just sold down the river those women who have achieved in every field of endeavour except pushing out a child.

xDramaxQueenx

This country being ireland, and her representing america, and me not giving a flying sausage about irish politics, much less american politics, I can say, no. I dont find it insulting.

Solair

She's aiming her speech at a conservative audience that is like something from the 1950s. I wouldn't expect a progressive speech at an event like that.

Ellsbells

There is such a them or us attitude in TLL when it comes to mothers v non mothers and mainly from certain individuals who don't have kids.

She has chosen to address her speech to mothers - if she had chosen to address it to women without kids would you be on here defending mothers rights???

I think you are taking 'you are the best of America' a bit to heart. Sure at every graduation ceremony in the country the students are told they are the best of Ireland, so should I take the hump because I am not one of them? No!!!

It's all fine and well to choose not to have kids but don't always try to drag down people who do.

MadsL

Ellsbells wrote: »

There is such a them or us attitude in TLL when it comes to mothers v non mothers and mainly from certain individuals who don't have kids.

She has chosen to address her speech to mothers - if she had chosen to address it to women without kids would you be on here defending mothers rights???

I'm quite vocal on what the Republican party is trying to do to womens rights, does that count? Mothers are women right? Ann Romney is choosing to ignore women who are not mothers, why do you think that is?

I think you are taking 'you are the best of America' a bit to heart. Sure at every graduation ceremony in the country the students are told they are the best of Ireland, so should I take the hump because I am not one of them? No!!!

Except that this is by the wife of the man who is running for President.

It's all fine and well to choose not to have kids but don't always try to drag down people who do.

Emmm, where did I do that?

Wibbs

OK folks lets try and keep it low key and not get dragged into strife with each other

lazygal

I'm a mother and under no illusion that I'm doing 'the hardest job in the world'. I hate the sense of martyrdom some parents-yes mums AND dads have about having children. The constant 'Oh its so hard, you don't have a moment to yourself' horror stories some parents trot out are quite frankly tedious bull. There's plenty of hard jobs out there. I worked in some sh!tty retail jobs, damn hard work dealing with the public all day. I wouldn't fancy my chances putting in 90 hours shifts in a Chinese sweatshop either. There just seems to be this overpowering whiff of 'You can't understand how hard being a parent is until you are one'.
At first, I thought 'I must be doing something wrong, this parenting lark is way too easy', because I'd been force fed parenting horror stories from when I announced I was pregnant. Even my husband thinks his friends who are parents laid it on to thick with their 'You never stop worrying, oh you think its grand, wait until number two or three comes along'. Its almost like there's a competition for who has it hardest, rather than people being able to say 'I've a new baby and its grand. Bit tiring and stressful, like any new job, but I'm managing fine and getting into the swing of things.'

Oh, what does bug me about these 'family value' candidates is their actual support for women and families. Six weeks maternity leave is what America deems appropriate before a woman has to return to work. And what with wanting to limit access to contraception and abortion rights, while also restricting the leave a woman gets after having that baby she should be forced to have, Republican family values stink as much as my baby's nappies after a feed.

Wibbs

TBH I'd echo Solair's point. Not really the kind of audience well known for progressive thought. Plus she's a politicians wife. Politicians and their spouses have a long record off preaching to whatever choir they're stuck in front of, while just as often rogering the help behind closed doors. She's just aiming at the target audience

This Norman Rockwell rosy picture of small town America goes over well in the sticks and has done for a very long time. They just seem to be dumbing it down more and more for an audience all too often starved of information that isn't interrupted every 30 seconds by an ad break. Plus they're quite the insular culture and getting more so. Alternative ideas are often see with more than a little suspicion.

I recall watching an Oprah Winfrey show where she was meeting different women from different cultures and she was in a European country, Sweden IIRC? where some survey or other had found the the happiest women on earth lived or somesuch. Winfrey who is a well read and well travelled woman and not short on brains, was actually shocked how nearly all the women she talked with weren't religious. I think one woman was kinda religious but in an a la carte way, but the rest were agnostic/atheist. It just didn't compute for Winfrey coming from her background. Transfer that notion to the Mom's apple pie mindset and that's why yer wan was pushing that ballsology. Knows her audience.

Ellsbells

MadsL wrote: »

Emmm, where did I do that?

You are doing it by refusing to accept that mothers are entitled to a pat on the back too. There is no need to be so divisive - mothers are women too.

lazygal

Ellsbells wrote: »

You are doing it by refusing to accept that mothers are entitled to a pat on the back too. There is no need to be so divisive - mothers are women too.

I dunno, I feel there's a LOT of patting on the back of mums already. Like the P&G 'salute to mums' campaign. I also got a real sense of 'you're one of 'us' now' from some people I know, especially relatives, like I was now a 'complete' woman and could be considered a full member of the club. I know some of the shout outs in praise of mothers, especially from politicians, is absolutely tokenistic and nothing more than an attempt to get votes, but on a broader media and societal level, I think there is sometimes far too much reverence bestowed on those who've managed to reproduce. I see my friends who don't want to have children having to do a lot more explaining and justification of their choices.
I also feel some women's identity and sense of purpose is entirely bound up with being a mother in a way I can't understand, and there seems to be an acceptance of this on a broader societal level. It's almost as if you're not a 'real' mum if you're not constantly bearing the world weary battle scars of intensive child rearing. And there's a lot of praise heaped on women like that.

MadsL

Ellsbells wrote: »

You are doing it by refusing to accept that mothers are entitled to a pat on the back too. There is no need to be so divisive - mothers are women too.

A pat on the back too? Ann Romney gave only mothers a pat on the back in a speech where she said "I love women". She is being divisive, I'm just pointing it out.

mathepac

Can anyone pinpoint the time the mothers of Ireland became mums or moms rather than mas or mammys? And so what if some relation of Sarah Palin's wants to drag her country back to the 1950's, are we not allowed to enjoy the hilarity of it from a distance?

It worries me a little when her icons appear to be mothers (and no doubt hockey moms, Russian moms and soccer moms) while some of your bravest and best of America woman-hood are more notable for their breast sizes and the whos-who of bed-time companions they have (allegedly) accumulated. Brains or social innovation are not the first things that spring to mind in association with the majority of the list-members who seem to me to be entertainment industry "celebs".

I have no issue with a list that consists primarily of singers, dancers, musicians, actors and TV presenters as US politics is probably the ultimate entertainment industry, and measures success in exactly the same ways.

BTW Christine McVie nee Perfect is English.

MadsL

mathepac wrote: »

the majority of the list-members who seem to me to be entertainment industry "celebs".

I have no issue with a list that consists primarily of singers, dancers, musicians, actors and TV presenters as US politics is probably the ultimate entertainment industry, and measures success in exactly the same ways.

BTW Christine McVie nee Perfect is English.

The list is not exhaustive or exclusive - merely making the point.

Georgia O'Keefe, Condoleezza Rice, Louisa May Alcott, Rosa Parks, Ayn Rand, Edith Wharton, Emily Dickinson, Julia Child, Gertrude Stein.\\

+Amelia Earhart and Helen Keller

Better now?

meeeeh

She is addressing certain audience, so what... And somebody else will be complaining that women who decide to be stay at home mothers are disregarded by society and then that mothers who work don't have their child's best interests at hart. If you decide to get worked up by every stupid generalization out there you can be very busy person.

On personal note I don't know in whose camp I'd less enjoy being, Ann Romney's or Elizabeth Gilbert's.

eviltwin

I'm a mum so maybe I am biased

I think there is some validation in what she is saying. The reality is that for most people who are full time parents there is little or no praise, no pay, no promotion, no awards, no real recognition of what you are doing so its nice to see someone acknowledge it even if its just lip service from someone trying to get votes.

I do believe that raising kids is the hardest job you will ever do as there is no time off, no training and so much conflicting advice, so much criticism when you do something "wrong". I have a special needs child and a toddler so its all go and sometimes I am so frustrated and stressed all I want to do is cry. And I know I am not the only parent who feels that way sometimes

That doesn't mean I think parents are better than those who chose not to have kids, there is nothing wrong with that either but having done the stay at home mum thing you can feel a bit invisible and worthless and almost like you are letting the sisterhood down so its nice to hear something positive.

I agree with Lazygal, I would like to see the praise for parents backed up by real support.

miamee

We're the mothers, we're the wives, we're the grandmothers, we're the big sisters, we're the little sisters, we're the daughters.

You don't need to have children to be any of those things?

Morag

The wife of the republican parties nominee to run for president in promoting conservative values and pushing for the 'soccer mom' demographic shocker!

Conservative evangelical christian republicans do believe that women of a child baring age should be at home having kids, it's that simple, she was pandering to that demographic to make them feel she understands them and to get the to vote for
her and her husband.

Every word she uttered would have been written, re written, polished, tested, edited and polished again.

And then there is the fact the she like her husband is a mormon and mormon women once they get married don't' work out side of the home until they go through menopause and they always wear their magic underwear and ensure they are modestly dressed.

So really given her and her husbands extremist views I am not going to take anything
slight at such a speech, I am more worried about the way they are eroding women's rights which she is playing a part in.

LittleBook

Sharrow wrote: »

Conservative evangelical christian republicans do believe that women of a child baring age should be at home having kids, it's that simple, she was pandering to that demographic to make them feel she understands them and to get them to vote for her and her husband.

Exactly, the only difference between the "barefoot and pregnant" mentality and their mentality is that their women can afford shoes.

Ellsbells

I agree with lazygal. I had my baby very late in life and don't feel like I am a superior human being. I always wanted kids but had resigned myself to not having any as I had not met the right man. I don't go to mother & babies club as tbh the thought of talking baby for hours bores me to tears. It's a very hard job but there are a lot worse jobs out there.

Some mothers are doses and justify their existence by acting the martyr and talking ad nauseum about their offspring. I think, because I had 40+ years on this planet without a baby that I realise The importance of perspective. I loved and miss my pre baby life and I did so much with my time. Life has changed, I adore my baby but you know what, having him doesn't make me any different to my friends without kids. Op you seem to have a big chip on your shoulder about mothers in general but don't assume we are all the same.

IvyTheTerrible

eviltwin wrote: »

...I do believe that raising kids is the hardest job you will ever do...

I really think that depends on the mother and on the child. I'm just a mother of 6 months, and maybe my baby is particularly easy going, but I found doing my doctoral thesis, while childless, and with no other responsibilities, a million times harder, than being a mother to my baby has been so far! I don't like women being lumped into categories like "mothers" or "childless", as the experiences are so different between individuals.

eviltwin

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I really think that depends on the mother and on the child. I'm just a mother of 6 months, and maybe my baby is particularly easy going, but I found doing my doctoral thesis, while childless, and with no other responsibilities, a million times harder, than being a mother to my baby has been so far! I don't like women being lumped into categories like "mothers" or "childless", as the experiences are so different between individuals.

Oh absolutely, some people are blessed. I personally find it hard, its a struggle at times. Right now I am in the midst of toddler tantrums and a teenager with Aspergers who is finding life a challenge. I know it won't always be this bad but when you are having a tough time of it you can feel like you would rather be anywhere else than at home

krudler

What is it with conservatives being obsessed with telling women what to do?

branbee

I also think people forget that the needs of the child differ at each stage of the child's life.

I started university when my one was six weeks old- people kept saying it was too soon, it will be too hard- that time was the absolute easiest of my three years because she was asleep and in her bouncer while I worked away. It only got harder when she was older and needed constant attention/watching. I also found this stage the hardest in general- couldn't have a shower without having someone keep an eye on her or waiting til she napped etc.

Being a parent and the responsibilities that come with it are constantly changing so to say 'oh parenting isn't as hard as they make out' is in my opinion a little naive because being a parent never stops changing, how it is now for one parent is not going to be the way it always is. Some stages are easy and some make you want to run away and not care about bottles being sterilized and the changing bag being packed- guess what stage I hated!

And I honestly don't think Im being a 'martyr' by saying that its hard. Yeah some people lay it on a little thick but I do agree that it is the hardest job in the world. You're being responsible for the needs of another human being, of course its tough!

LittleBook

krudler wrote: »

What is it with conservatives being obsessed with telling women what to do?

They're afraid of them. Women represent one of the (if not the) biggest threat to the status quo that the old boys club have ever had to deal, so they are dealing with that threat by trying to keep them under control.

They are obssessed with "women's issues" like contraception, abortion, women's healthcare policies, cutting funding for and opposing the renewal of the Violence Against Women Act, etc. yet they have the nerve to accuse the Democrats of politicising women's issues.

I don't believe all Republicans are like this, but there is definitely a hardcore element who want to keep as many women as possible at home and out of politics and business, and it's not just men as Ann has kindly demonstrated.

rainbowtrout

It's the moms who always have to work a little harder, to make everything right.

It's the moms of this nation -- single, married, widowed -- who really hold this country together. We're the mothers, we're the wives, we're the grandmothers, we're the big sisters, we're the little sisters, we're the daughters.

You know it's true, don't you?

You're the ones who always have to do a little more.

You know what it's like to work a little harder during the day to earn the respect you deserve at work and then come home to help with that book report which just has to be done.

You know what those late night phone calls with an elderly parent are like and the long weekend drives just to see how they're doing.

You know the fastest route to the local emergency room and which doctors actually answer the phone when you call at night.

You know what it’s like to sit in that graduation ceremony and wonder how it was that so many long days turned into years that went by so quickly.

You are the best of America.

You are the hope of America.

There would not be an America without you.

Tonight, we salute you and sing your praises.

You don't need to be a mother to know any of these things. Neither do you have to be female to help an elderly parent or get to A&E quickly.

Piste

I find it strange that people are referring to child-rearing as a "job" rather than a lifestyle choice...

eviltwin

Piste wrote: »

I find it strange that people are referring to child-rearing as a "job" rather than a lifestyle choice...

Its not a job in the career sense but its still work

ash23

Taking my own life, if I didn't have a child it would be easier. That's not saying that my life is harder than anyone elses. But all things being the same, bar the child, my life would be easier.

That's about the only thing I can say. I can't comment on anyone elses life. The speech is a bit sickly sweet for my taste but I wouldn't find any offence in it.

iguana

Ann Romney is a Mormon and while Mormonism doesn't forbid birth control it does strongly encourage parenthood and having lots of children (for married couples). In Mormonism just about the most important job in the world is being a parent and raising new young Mormons. (This is because in the Mormon afterlife each man is made a God of his own planet, or Celestial Kingdom, and he and his wives* have a duty to populate that planet for the rest of eternity. *Mainstream Mormons no longer practice polygamy while alive but in the afterlife good Mormon men get numerous wives.) It's not at all surprising that a woman of Ann Romney's beliefs would make such a statement as it's pretty much a cornerstone of the religion she chooses to follow.

Chinasea

Totally agree with the OP.

Anybody can love, being a 'Mom' does not give you an automatic advantage or an insight on how to love, unless you have been up yours for most of your life.

scoob70

eviltwin wrote: »

The reality is that for most people who are full time parents there is little or no praise, no pay, no promotion, no awards, no real recognition of what you are doing

No offense intended eviltwin, but parents (especially women) do tend to have a baby for selfish reasons - because they want/need one. Should we be praised, paid, promoted, awarded or receive recognition from others for, at the end of the day, fulfilling our own needs? In most cases it was our choice to have them or not in the first place.:)