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How has your life turned out?
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Eve_Dublin wrote: »I don't think I had any real ambitions growing up. My self-belief in my own abilities wasn't the best back in the day and didn't think I could achieve much. I've been my own worst enemy growing up and over the past number years I've been trying to muster up a bit of self-belief and trying to drown out the voice telling me I can't do it. I know I could achieve a lot more if I believed I could but I'm actively working on that.
I'm the same, even still my self belief is still quite lacking, but it's getting a bit better all the time. I kind of muddle through by thinking whats the worst that could happen, I'll just end up back where I started, that's not so bad. It might not be the best reasoning to get things done, but it works for me, and as it happens, not once have I ended up back where I started, I've always found myself in a slightly better position, so it was worth it.Ultimately, people need to realise that sometimes things dont work out for a reason and having your health is far more important than anything else.
As cheesy as it sounds, it's so true! I bought an apartment that's now in negative equity, I'd say it's my only actual regret, but if ever I get down about it, I remind myself that I'm healthy, as are my family, and it's *only* money.
With regards to the OP, I didn't really have specific plans either, I kind of fell into admin work, then decided to finish my training I'd started at college even though I wasn't crazy into it, but I'm glad I did it, cos I like to keep busy, and it'll stand to me in almost anything I decide to do.
I'm trying out something completely different now, and I don't know if I'm mad, it'll see me out of the workforce for over a year. Well I'm about 95% decided to go for it, still have little doubts creeping in.
I never thought I'd want to have kids, but lately I find that I do, and the urge is growing, damn you biological clock!!
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Really can't complain, have a full time job which is relatively well paid. No illness or health issues, no debt, great family and a have a very good bunch of mates who I can turn to in case of emergency.
All in all life is pretty good actually now that I've typed that....just wouldn't mind some of me hair back
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Minus the hair bit, I'm pretty much the same - it's pretty sweet to be fair.Really can't complain, have a full time job which is relatively well paid. No illness or health issues, no debt, great family and a have a very good bunch of mates who I can turn to in case of emergency.
All in all life is pretty good actually now that I've typed that....just wouldn't mind some of me hair back 0 -
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....just wouldn't mind some of me hair back
While I wouldn't mind regaining the hair on my head I'd like it too stop growing in places that don't make biological sense.
Other than that I'm surprised at what life still keeps turning up and very happy it does too. Something I would have wished for but would not have expected.0 -
flutterflye wrote: »Wrong wrong - it's all wrong.
I keep having children - I never even wanted any!
All I ever wanted to do was travel the world - and do it properly, mixing with all sorts of cultures etc...
And I wanted to become a psychologist of some sort, maybe a neuro psychologist.
I've only managed to do bits of college due to kids, finances, and illness.
I keep going and doing well, then something messes it up or I get pregnant again!!!
And so far, I haven't managed to do any traveling whatsoever - and can't imagine a time in the forseeable suture where it will be possible.
I wanted fun and adventure, I wanted to learn, to see and experience everything that's out there, to live in different places and learn their ways, to find myself, to grow.
Instead I find myself stuck inside my role of mother and wife, yet at 27, I feel I have completely lost who I am.
I nolonger have any idea what fun is.
I nolonger feel pasionate about anything.
I am not one of those women who is content as a housewife, or even a 9-5 job.
I long for more, yet have little idea how to attain it.
Well there's my dear diary entry for today!
Have a look into some distance learning, The Open Uni and DCU offer internet-based courses, or take up a part time degree/masters. Also, get a little volunteer work in your chosen field - maybe working with people with intellectual disabilities or young adults with social/family issues? You can use psychology there, right? This will catapult you ahead when going for jobs in your field.
Also....maybe stop having kids for a while? :-) Good luck!0 -
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I'm 36, and from the outside - partner, kids, house, job all looks & is fine. But beneath that lies a fairly unexpected trip to get there. One fairly full of experiences that I enjoyed, but also regrets that I didnt push myself enough-
Teenage yrs - I shoulda just accepted my physical deformity wasnt a big deal, wouldnt stop me getting women (my 20s proved that
) & would have helped my self confidence
college yrs - confidence sky high...probably could done more drugs - seriously...taking coke for the 1st time at 30 is a bad idea.
sports - shoulda stuck with it instead of using my work as an out
dating - wasted a few yrs with someone who wasnt mentally or physically able for any sort of relationship...that took some sorting out...but it meant I did meet the perfect partner.
now I'm in my mid30s I've grown into who I think I always meant to be (scarily like my dad)...but every now & then I think I wish I was bumming across america on a freight train with a bottle of JD, a guitar & a dog wearing a bandana.0 -
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Im 22 just finished by ordinary business degree, I have no idea what I want to do, I have been offered a place on the add-on honors course plus to offers from British uni's for honors.
I have got no jobs this summer and I'm been egged at by my parents to find work and get some direction.
When I was a kid I saw myself as joining the military but as you can tell this has not happened... I want to move to the USA, that's my current goal but so far I have found that difficult to do without a sponsor.
So I guess I'm still young so Ill post back in a few years and let ye know haha 0 -
flutterflye wrote: »Wrong wrong - it's all wrong.
I keep having children - I never even wanted any!
All I ever wanted to do was travel the world - and do it properly, mixing with all sorts of cultures etc...
And I wanted to become a psychologist of some sort, maybe a neuro psychologist.
I've only managed to do bits of college due to kids, finances, and illness.
I keep going and doing well, then something messes it up or I get pregnant again!!!
And so far, I haven't managed to do any traveling whatsoever - and can't imagine a time in the forseeable suture where it will be possible.
I wanted fun and adventure, I wanted to learn, to see and experience everything that's out there, to live in different places and learn their ways, to find myself, to grow.
Instead I find myself stuck inside my role of mother and wife, yet at 27, I feel I have completely lost who I am.
I nolonger have any idea what fun is.
I nolonger feel pasionate about anything.
I am not one of those women who is content as a housewife, or even a 9-5 job.
I long for more, yet have little idea how to attain it.
Well there's my dear diary entry for today!
Sorry, but I am struggling to see how your kids are to blame for what you have/ haven't achieved. You chose to have them, and we are living in a time in which contraception is readily available and no longer shunned. If you really want to do something different with your life, I am sure your family will understand and support your cause if you let them know. After all, that's what family are for, aren't they?0 -
RaRaRasputin wrote: »flutterflye wrote: »Wrong wrong - it's all wrong.
I keep having children - I never even wanted any!
All I ever wanted to do was travel the world - and do it properly, mixing with all sorts of cultures etc...
And I wanted to become a psychologist of some sort, maybe a neuro psychologist.
I've only managed to do bits of college due to kids, finances, and illness.
I keep going and doing well, then something messes it up or I get pregnant again!!!
And so far, I haven't managed to do any traveling whatsoever - and can't imagine a time in the forseeable suture where it will be possible.
I wanted fun and adventure, I wanted to learn, to see and experience everything that's out there, to live in different places and learn their ways, to find myself, to grow.
Instead I find myself stuck inside my role of mother and wife, yet at 27, I feel I have completely lost who I am.
I nolonger have any idea what fun is.
I nolonger feel pasionate about anything.
I am not one of those women who is content as a housewife, or even a 9-5 job.
I long for more, yet have little idea how to attain it.
Well there's my dear diary entry for today!
Sorry, but I am struggling to see how your kids are to blame for what you have/ haven't achieved. You chose to have them, and we are living in a time in which contraception is readily available and no longer shunned. If you really want to do something different with your life, I am sure your family will understand and support your cause if you let them know. After all, that's what family are for, aren't they?
She should be happy she can happy to have kids some of us want them so
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I had such plans. When I realised my life was not turning out as I had hoped I struggled to cope. I'm 30. I thought I would be in a long term relationship now, planning on having children, settled in my job, lots of travel behind me. That is not my life now and I am really glad. I don't want to be settled yet. There is still so much for me to do! 0
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RaRaRasputin wrote: »I never said that children should be everything to somebody. In fact I don't have any by choice, because I never felt like being a parent. Also, I greatly resent overindulgence of children these days and disagree with wrapping them up in cotton wool. However, I would feel terrible if I knew that my parents felt resentful towards me or considered me part of the reason they couldn't achieve their dreams in life.
You keep saying that you find yourself pregnant, as if you hadn't any control over it, but you did. Your children didn't just decide to be created, so stand up for your own decisions.
This time I honestly didn't think it was possible - I had a laporoscopy and was told that the internal damage was too severe for conception to ever be possible.
And anyway that's neither here nor there, you do find yourself pregnant do you not?
It's just a way to say that I got pregnant - don't know what you're on about tbh.
And I don't feel resentful towards my kids at all!
Well I have on occasion felt resentful towards my eldest because he has asd and adhd and is very hard - but then that moment passes and I come back to reality and realise that it's hardly his fault.
I never understand people on here or other forums jumping on you because of some perceived impression they have of you.
You have no reason to decide such things based on that one post.0 -
flutterflye wrote: »This time I honestly didn't think it was possible - I had a laporoscopy and was told that the internal damage was too severe for conception to ever be possible.
And anyway that's neither here nor there, you do find yourself pregnant do you not?
It's just a way to say that I got pregnant - don't know what you're on about tbh.
And I don't feel resentful towards my kids at all!
Well I have on occasion felt resentful towards my eldest because he has asd and adhd and is very hard - but then that moment passes and I come back to reality and realise that it's hardly his fault.
I never understand people on here or other forums jumping on you because of some perceived impression they have of you.
You have no reason to decide such things based on that one post.
Seriously, don't mind the small-mindedness. That was a very honest post you made and I agree with Fiona that it took balls. Of course there is a life beyond and outside having children, there is nothing wrong with dreams or aspirations and nothing wrong with admitting that they have all taken a backseat to your children, as needs must.
To answer the OP, my life has turned out NOTHING like I planned. But I'm still relatively young and without much responsibility so I could probably change everything if I wanted to. All I need is a boot up the hole to do it.Deleted User wrote: »One thing I wanted when I was younger did happen actually. That was owning a Volvo - they were my favourite cars when I was kid (I know, I know). Doesn't look like I'll ever have the MR2 though, certainly not while I could potentially look sexy driving it and there's no point looking like I've had a menopausal breakdown in one so it ain't gonna happen!
You can come take a spin in mine. 0 -
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RaRaRasputin wrote: »I never said that children should be the be all and end all. I merely said and firmly believe that people should take responsibility if they chose to have children, because every child deserves so.
If a doctor gave you bad advice it is unfortunate, and i mean it. But from your description this wasn't your first child and thus not the reason your ambitious plans for your future were unfulfilled. It's surely not a bad thing to have ambitions, just don't try to burden others for your own failings.
Right you are so Ted.
Fantastic advice indeed.
Clearly you didn't actually read any of what I wrote, but hey, that's fine! 0 -
Completely different to what I would have predicted, thankfully.
A lot of good things have happened, and a fair few bad things too. All in all, they've all contributed to making me a pretty happy and contented person, so yeah, it's been good.
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