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I trust him, i just dont trust her....

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  • 26-04-2012 10:30am
    #1
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭


    Maybe the ladies on boards can explain this one to me...

    Overhearing a conversation yesterday, two girls discussing one of their boyfriends. First girl is telling how her boyfriend had given a female neighbour a lift home, which she really didnt like. Then, (not the first girl i've heard) saying, 'its not that i dont trust him, its her i dont trust'. Now surely that is a contradiction in itself?

    Can a bloke mess around and it not be his fault?
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    #2
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    One for The Ladies Lounge......oh and good luck :p


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    #3
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    No, "I trust him, I don't trust her" is basically a way of saying, "I don't think he'd ever go out to cheat, but if someone laid it on a plate for him, I don't know if he'd refuse". Or, "I only trust him to a point".
    I hear women say this more often than men, probably because there's a popular perception that men will ride anything that waves a hole at them, whereas women will shoot down any man who makes a go at her.

    It's a display of a lack of self-esteem that they believe their partner doesn't have the self-control or respect for the relationship to turn down an offer of sex.


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    #4
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    davet82 wrote: »

    Can a bloke mess around and it not be his fault?

    Anyone can mess around and say it's not their fault. Everyone blames someone else.


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    #5
    wilkie2006
    Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭wilkie2006


    davet82 wrote: »
    Maybe the ladies on boards can explain this one to me...

    Overhearing a conversation yesterday, two girls discussing one of their boyfriends. First girl is telling how her boyfriend had given a female neighbour a lift home, which she really didnt like. Then, (not the first girl i've heard) saying, 'its not that i dont trust him, its her i dont trust'. Now surely that is a contradiction in itself?

    Can a bloke mess around and it not be his fault?

    I think it's more likely that the woman wanted to communicate her unease to her friend without sounding like she didn't trust her boyfriend or admitting that he'd be the type to do that.


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    #6
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    seamus wrote: »
    No, "I trust him, I don't trust her" is basically a way of saying, "I don't think he'd ever go out to cheat, but if someone laid it on a plate for him, I don't know if he'd refuse". Or, "I only trust him to a point".
    I hear women say this more often than men, probably because there's a popular perception that men will ride anything that waves a hole at them, whereas women will shoot down any man who makes a go at her.

    It's a display of a lack of self-esteem that they believe their partner doesn't have the self-control or respect for the relationship to turn down an offer of sex.

    wasnt quite what i was expecting from AH... well answered dude :)


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    #7
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    wilkie2006 wrote: »
    I think it's more likely that the woman wanted to communicate her unease to her friend without sounding like she didn't trust her boyfriend or admitting that he'd be the type to do that.

    good answer too, that also makes sense...


    i'm learning alot today :)


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    #8
    FatherLen
    Registered Users Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    seamus wrote: »
    No, "I trust him, I don't trust her" is basically a way of saying, "I don't think he'd ever go out to cheat, but if someone laid it on a plate for him, I don't know if he'd refuse". Or, "I only trust him to a point".
    I hear women say this more often than men, probably because there's a popular perception that men will ride anything that waves a hole at them, whereas women will shoot down any man who makes a go at her.

    It's a display of a lack of self-esteem that they believe their partner doesn't have the self-control or respect for the relationship to turn down an offer of sex.

    yeah, bitches be crazy.


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    #9
    Crash Bang Wall
    Registered Users Posts: 1,362 ✭✭✭Crash Bang Wall


    Surely if she trusts her fella, that should cover the fact that if the other bird "drops the hand" or whatever, then she trusts her fella to tell her hes not interested!

    IMO there are 2 instances where she says this:
    a) she doesnt trust her fella, or
    b) shes insecure


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    #10
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    davet82 wrote: »
    Maybe the ladies on boards can explain this one to me...

    Overhearing a conversation yesterday, two girls discussing one of their boyfriends. First girl is telling how her boyfriend had given a female neighbour a lift home, which she really didnt like. Then, (not the first girl i've heard) saying, 'its not that i dont trust him, its her i dont trust'. Now surely that is a contradiction in itself?

    Can a bloke mess around and it not be his fault?

    Don't spend anytime trying to apply logic, in matters of the heart it just goes out the window.

    When it comes to women they regularly employ a bit of subterfuge, it keeps things interesting.

    Often times a women will mean the opposite of what she said. For example:

    "Its not you, its me" means it really is you.
    "You do whatever you want" means "If you even consider doing what you want to do you won't see the inside of my vagina for a week"
    "Fine!" means "that is totally not fine"
    Even, "I trust him, I just dont trust her" means, "If she puts it on a plate for him, I dont trust him to still say no"
    Also, if you say "I was thinking of going to watch the footie with the lads later" and she says "What?", she is not indicating that she did not hear you. Like the Lisbon Treaty, she is giving you another attempt at making the 'correct' plan for the evening, e.g., "I was thinking of treating you to a nice meal and I can watch the football highlights later"


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    #11
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    hondasam wrote: »
    Anyone can mess around and say it's not their fault. Everyone blames someone else.

    but i've heard the cheated, saying it wasnt really their fault. i never got that either


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    #12
    CL7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 684 ✭✭✭CL7


    wilkie2006 wrote: »
    I think it's more likely that the woman wanted to communicate her unease to her friend without sounding like she didn't trust her boyfriend or admitting that he'd be the type to do that.

    Exactly, great post.


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    #13
    beco2010
    Registered Users Posts: 245 ✭✭beco2010


    FatherLen wrote: »
    yeah, bitches be crazy.
    wait till he finds out then bitches will be running crazy





    yesh and mabe dont blame the player blame the game will be here at some stage :D


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    #14
    FatherLen
    Registered Users Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    beco2010 wrote: »
    wait till he finds out then bitches will be running crazy





    yesh and mabe dont blame the player blame the game will be here at some stage :D

    eh what?


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    #15
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Basically she was saying that the neighbour is better looking than her.


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    #16
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    "Don't blame the player, blame the game" really means, "I'm a soulless man-whore with no respect for myself or anyone else, but I feel that I can justify being an asshole to women by referring to it as a game".


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    #17
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    davet82 wrote: »
    but i've heard the cheated, saying it wasnt really their fault. i never got that either

    No one wants to be cheated on, it's easier to say he would never have done it if she did not lead him on but really there is only one person to blame and that's the cheater.
    Blaming the other person makes it easier to make allowances for the cheater and it's somewhere to direct your anger.
    I'm not sure if men blame the other man for his wife/gf cheating as much as women blame the other woman for leading her man on.


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    #18
    Cianos
    Registered Users Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Cianos


    fwiw, it can also plainly mean that she simply doesn't trust the person. Making advances on someone elses partner is a breach of trust in and of itself, regardless of how said partner reacts.


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    #19
    beco2010
    Registered Users Posts: 245 ✭✭beco2010


    seamus wrote: »
    "Don't blame the player, blame the game" really means, "I'm a soulless man-whore with no respect for myself or anyone else, but I feel that I can justify being an asshole to women by referring to it as a game".
    a game that is played both ways and often has


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    #20
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    maybe if you were envolved in the conversation and not eavesdropping you would of had more of an idea with regards to what she meant?

    Although my stab of it would be, "Yer wan down the road is a slapper and would go on and get off with her fella without thinking whether or not he was really into it. She recons her fella isn't though."


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    #21
    charlietheminxx
    Registered Users Posts: 2,579 ✭✭✭charlietheminxx


    Cianos wrote: »
    fwiw, it can also plainly mean that she simply doesn't trust the person. Making advances on someone elses partner is a breach of trust in and of itself, regardless of how said partner reacts.

    I agree with this, having said this famous line once before. There was someone who's motives I didn't trust. I trusted my boyfriend. I was fairly sure he wouldn't cheat on me with her or anyone else.... but she gave me an uneasy feeling.

    Some women do seem to fight for the intentions of a man who is taken - and they aren't trustworthy.


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    #22
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Maybe she thinks the woman is going to sexually assault him or something?


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    #23
    Stiffler2
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,536 ✭✭✭Stiffler2


    IMHO when a bloke says to a girl, I wouldn't cheat on you what this means is as follows :

    The bloke won't actively go out and look for it, however if it's offered or shoved in his face he more than likely won't refuse.

    Women know this hence her term: I trust him, but I don't trust her.


    simples...


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    #24
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Stiffler2 wrote: »
    IMHO when a bloke says to a girl, I wouldn't cheat on you what this means is as follows :

    The bloke won't actively go out and look for it, however if it's offered or shoved in his face he more than likely won't refuse.

    Women know this hence her term: I trust him, but I don't trust her.


    simples...

    Eh... no...


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    #25
    Stiffler2
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,536 ✭✭✭Stiffler2


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    Eh... no...


    Ehhhh......YYYYYEEEEAAAHHHHHHH


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    #26
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Stiffler2 wrote: »
    Ehhhh......YYYYYEEEEAAAHHHHHHH

    Still no.


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    #27
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Stiffler2 wrote: »

    The bloke won't actively go out and look for it, however if it's offered or shoved in his face he more than likely won't refuse.

    I don't agree with this. Not every man will have sex with someone just because it's offered to them.


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    #28
    Stiffler2
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,536 ✭✭✭Stiffler2


    Dravokivich wrote: »
    Still no.


    again.....YEEAAHHHH


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    #29
    Stiffler2
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,536 ✭✭✭Stiffler2


    hondasam wrote: »
    I don't agree with this. Not every man will have sex with someone just because it's offered to them.

    I agree with you as well, not every man would do it, but 90% of them would.

    F.
    A.
    C.
    T.


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    #30
    Sea Filly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,213 ✭✭✭Sea Filly


    seamus wrote: »
    No, "I trust him, I don't trust her" is basically a way of saying, "I don't think he'd ever go out to cheat, but if someone laid it on a plate for him, I don't know if he'd refuse". Or, "I only trust him to a point".
    I hear women say this more often than men, probably because there's a popular perception that men will ride anything that waves a hole at them, whereas women will shoot down any man who makes a go at her.

    It's a display of a lack of self-esteem that they believe their partner doesn't have the self-control or respect for the relationship to turn down an offer of sex.

    And those relationships are doomed. It's a cliche but one can't be a relationship with someone they don't trust.


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    #31
    Riddle101
    Registered Users Posts: 8,393 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    They say that the ones who are insecure or don't trust their other halfs, are actually the ones more likely to cheat, and the reason for their insecurity is because they they become somewhat paranoid about it. Can't remember if that's the exact way of putting it, but it's something like that anyway.

    As for the the "I trust him, I don't trust her" line. I'm not really the best opinion on the matter. But i've a friend who was cheated on, and blames both parties for cheating. I kind've agree and think a person has enough self control to be able to stop something from happening, unless the incident was caused by some form of seduction through drugs or alcohol or something. But if a person is in their normal state of mind then he/she should be able to resist the urge to cheat unless they actually are unfaitful.

    As far as the woman saying "I trust him, I don't trust her" goes. I think it's quite obvious that the woman is jealous and insecure and proberly over protective of her boyfriend as well. The fact she wasn't too happy about the bf giving another woman a lift, is an indicator of that.


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