10 carbon monoxide alarms from Electric Ireland to mark one year supplying gas!

Agent Smith

Dont try to have sex with a Gas oven




Its the wrong type of hot...

kiwipower

Either put a crow guard on the chimney, or shoot the fecker or you will be cleaning your chimney everyday!
Well at least till you dont and the CO2 gets U

shanered

Turn Off, Tune In, Drop Out!

Lockstock666

If the carbon monixide alarm sounds, immediately move to a fresh air location outdoors or by an open window or door, and make sure no one is left inside

lorebringer

Have boilers serviced at least one a year and always call a registered preofessional to do the job!

travelledpengy

Clean the toilet seat to prevent beatings from the missus

Ghall

Don't slip when carrying your breakfast or you’ll end up with egg on your face!

brettg

Give your smokie a regular poke ( with the brush handle for testing battery life !! )

harolds57

Bring your carbon monoxide alarm to bed so you can prove her farts don’t smell like perfume

aidan.connolly

Be careful where you position your smoke detectors. avoid areas that have no air circulation etc

BionicRasher

Tip
Never put a lightbulb in your back pocket;)

sgarvan

Check your batteries in smoke alarms every month

yayamark

Never ever drink and drive

Heed the speed

Get the point not the points

Slow down

Wont someone think about the children?

AnCatDubh

don't run with scissors and don't stick a nail into an electrical socket

blondiexox

Check your smoke alarms!

jordata

Don't put your hand on the hob to see if it still hot! Ouch!

bleg

Be mindful of solid fuels!

admiralofthefleet

never trust a boiler repair man with a moustache

iceman777

Watch your step - it could be your last!!

Blackjack

Both Financial and Health and Safety Advice:


Sell High, Buy Low,
Don't eat yellow Snow.

zero19

Never wipe your arse with a hedgehog.

power123

:eek:don't handle plugs or switches with wet hands:eek:

:rolleyes:never try to force a 2 pin plug into a 3 pin socket-this can be extremely dangerous:rolleyes:

Leslie91

If you smell gas and no appliance is on, call the emergency helpline.

kennethsmyth

Remember to lick the top of the new battery before putting it in the alarm to ensure it has power he he..:D

copper04

Never use a device with a damaged lead.

wilson10

Never let your monkey play with your machine gun (especially if it's loaded).

radia

Electric switches can spark. If you smell gas don't use any switches - even to turn stuff off.

Psychobabble

Be especially careful if you've had refurbishment work carried out; check all your devices, including smoke and carbon monoxide alarms.

Mr Keek

You have fire drills at work, have a fire drill at home too. Teach your kids how to escape from their room in the event of fire, i.e using a toy box to climb out the window...., assuming they live in a bungaloe!

Damien360

change your smoke alarm batteries once a year even if the batteries seem to be working ok.