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Totally (an adult content short story)

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    #62
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,319 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    hcass wrote: »
    Geez thanks. I am here you know looking at this, have a bit of heart.

    I'm not sure what you seem to have taken offence to this time :confused:


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    #63
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    EileenG wrote: »
    ...
    I've never done it on a desk if there was a bed available.
    That one sentence engaged me more than hcass's story. I'm interested.


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    #64
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    P. Breathnach wrote: »
    That one sentence engaged me more than hcass's story. I'm interested.

    In the desk or the bed?

    Remember that scene in Friends where Pheobes boyfriend wants to move all the stuff off the table before doing it? That would be me. Otherwise, with my luck, I'd end up with my arse on a razor blade.


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    #65
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    pickarooney wrote: »
    I'm not sure what you seem to have taken offence to this time :confused:
    It was a joke, a bad one yes, but a joke all the same. :D


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    #66
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Das Kitty wrote: »
    Em yeah. Nothing like a good game of avoid the bed! Depends what you're doing too, different heights can be useful.

    Really, is it that unusual?

    I really dont think you are listening to me or the other posters.

    There is nothing wrong or strange at all with doing it on a desk. Nothing. And yes, heights variations can be beneficial.

    My point is, and others have echoed it. Few people would do it on the desk, when there was a bed right there. If the bed was upstairs, or in another room, then it would be plausible for them to not move and stay there. Again, as I have stated, there is nothing wrong with doing it on a desk, but you need to include a reason why. A short story isnt going to have material to back it up, or a discussion forum to explain why things happened. Everything should be covered and resolved. You don't want a reader reading it and going, well that was good but why did she do x, or why didn't she do y?


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    #67
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    One more technical point about the desk: it only allows for one-on-one sex. If she is perched on the desk, then she can't accommodate a second man. If they move to the bed, a threesome is physically possible.


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    #68
    Das Kitty
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    syklops wrote: »
    I really dont think you are listening to me or the other posters.

    There is nothing wrong or strange at all with doing it on a desk. Nothing. And yes, heights variations can be beneficial.

    My point is, and others have echoed it. Few people would do it on the desk, when there was a bed right there. If the bed was upstairs, or in another room, then it would be plausible for them to not move and stay there. Again, as I have stated, there is nothing wrong with doing it on a desk, but you need to include a reason why. A short story isnt going to have material to back it up, or a discussion forum to explain why things happened. Everything should be covered and resolved. You don't want a reader reading it and going, well that was good but why did she do x, or why didn't she do y?

    Ha? Who am I not listening to?

    You asked if any boardsie would shag on a desk or other hard object if they were right beside a soft bed. I am a boardsie and I have, recently and repeatedly. I refuse to believe that's unusual.

    As to Eileen's point, yeah, logistically a desk is not the best option for a threesome. Probably not the best health and safety wise either. :pac:


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    #69
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Das Kitty wrote:
    Ha? Who am I not listening to?

    The original poster was hcass. You posted on the thread defending her position, but from your comment it suggest you are both users.

    Not sure how the Creative Writing forum treats this, but in After Hours it goes against the charter. Either way, you have misrepresented yourself. Welcome to my ignore list, 'both' of you.


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    #70
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,319 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    syklops wrote: »
    The original poster was hcass. You posted on the thread defending her position, but from your comment it suggest you are both users.

    Not sure how the Creative Writing forum treats this, but in After Hours it goes against the charter. Either way, you have misrepresented yourself. Welcome to my ignore list, 'both' of you.

    I've no idea what you're trying to say here. Would you like to clarify? By PM if you prefer.


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    #71
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    EileenG wrote: »
    One more technical point about the desk: it only allows for one-on-one sex. If she is perched on the desk, then she can't accommodate a second man. If they move to the bed, a threesome is physically possible.
    Clearly you have been thinking about interesting things. When can we expect your foray into erotic writing?


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    #72
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    pickarooney wrote: »
    I've no idea what you're trying to say here. Would you like to clarify? By PM if you prefer.

    I am only me - I don't know Das Kitty or have any relationship with her or him outside (or even inside) this forum!


    Can you please clarify that Pickarooney - I don't like being falsely "outed" like this. Thanks.


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    #73
    The Princess Bride
    Registered Users Posts: 18,592 ✭✭✭✭The Princess Bride


    Good effort.
    To be honest-I almost switched off with the opening lines.
    Just didn't turn me on.

    supping on a warm can of some cheap piss ..............get a taxi to my ma’s,.......She took a swig


    Somehow,the use of the word d!ck is not as attractive as c*ck in erotica- but that's just my opinion.
    .............my d!ck getting hard

    Love the name.....so...well thought out Simon Harmon,

    .......grabbed her t!ts. Again- the use of t!ts versus breasts major turn off for me.
    Would be interested in what others think?
    versus
    ...........her breasts with one hand,much much better


    I came on the carpet.

    Am so glad I've no carpet in my house.:D

    Good effort,thanks.

    Oh and to the posters concerned about using the desk with the bed in the room....
    With the right combination of spontaneity and passion-both in reality and in writing- it wouldn't matter if you were in a furniture shop!;)
    Go with the flow- sometimes what's sensible doesn't come into it.


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    #74
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    I did not say she was "out there" I said she likes to mix it up - as in not have sex on a bed every time.

    I will explain it one more time - she fell against the desk. Ok, against it. She is not on the desk yet just standing against it. She is not having sex at this point. One of them is feeling her tits, the other has his head up her skirt. Yes, it is messy but that's a disorganised threesome for you. Then after Patrick walks away, Simon is still giving Alicia head, just before she comes he lifts her onto the desk and sticks his dick in her and they thrust a few times before coming. So only Alicia is on the desk while they are having sex. Not a threesome as you said you couldn't have a threesome on a desk - if you read the story you would see they don't actually have sex as such on the desk as a threesome.

    TBH I think you are way over complicating the whole thing - sex is not a by the book thing and certainly not in this case. I do think you are just picking holes for the sake of it. There is plenty wrong with my story, I hold my hands up, but being lifted onto a desk for a couple of thrusts before coming is perfectly believable. ANyway, that's my two cents.


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    #75
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    msthe80s wrote: »
    Good effort.
    To be honest-I almost switched off with the opening lines.
    Just didn't turn me on.



    Am so glad I've no carpet in my house.:D

    Good effort,thanks.

    Oh and to the posters concerned about using the desk with the bed in the room....
    With the right combination of spontaneity and passion-both in reality and in writing- it wouldn't matter if you were in a furniture shop!;)
    Go with the flow- sometimes what's sensible doesn't come into it.

    Thanks - very helpful comments!


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    #76
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    P. Breathnach wrote: »
    Clearly you have been thinking about interesting things. When can we expect your foray into erotic writing?

    Mid-June. I've just had a week of exhaustive edits from an American author who is like a drill sargent on details like this.

    Don't worry, I'll tell everyone when the book is available for sale!

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056589635


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    #77
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    syklops wrote: »
    The original poster was hcass. You posted on the thread defending her position, but from your comment it suggest you are both users.

    Not sure how the Creative Writing forum treats this, but in After Hours it goes against the charter. Either way, you have misrepresented yourself. Welcome to my ignore list, 'both' of you.

    Just waiting on that apology...


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    #78
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    hcass wrote: »
    I am only me - I don't know Das Kitty or have any relationship with her or him outside (or even inside) this forum!


    Can you please clarify that Pickarooney - I don't like being falsely "outed" like this. Thanks.

    I apologise for my comments. Mod, please feel free to delete my comment.


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    #79
    hcass
    Registered Users Posts: 628 ✭✭✭hcass


    syklops wrote: »
    I apologise for my comments. Mod, please feel free to delete my comment.


    Ah thanks Skylops, you're a brick.


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