What's the most frustrating thing about being atheist?

lazygal

For me its people thinking "Ah you're just being trendy" and not understanding or being a bit baffled when you explain why you didn't marry in a church, won't baptist your child and won't be getting involved in communion/confirmation. It is like they can't understand that I've thought long and deeply about what being a Catholic involves, such as the eating of the host, the sins, the nonsense of confession, the infallibility of the pope and, oh, not really believing in a higher power, and decided this was not for me.

What's frustrating about atheism for you?

MrPudding

lazygal wrote: »

For me its people thinking "Ah you're just being trendy" and not understanding or being a bit baffled when you explain why you didn't marry in a church, won't baptist your child and won't be getting involved in communion/confirmation. It is like they can't understand that I've thought long and deeply about what being a Catholic involves, such as the eating of the host, the sins, the nonsense of confession, the infallibility of the pope and, oh, not really believing in a higher power, and decided this was not for me.

What's frustrating about atheism for you?

Not sure if frustrating is the correct term, but the lack of useless and worthless platitudes can sometimes be difficult, when dealing with someone that has lost a loved one, for example.

I also find it frustrating that, even in the UK, I need to be careful who I mention my atheism to and what I say about religion.

MrP

tfitzgerald

When having sex the atheist have No one to shout at they cant go "oh god" maybe the say . Oh my there is no higher being !

lempsipmax

The absence of a belief in a Deity that will give me eternal life....say what you want about theism but it can be a great source of comfort and a real time saver too when thinking about the 'big' questions which are ordinarily unanswerable.

This might read as a smart ass answer as you seem more focused on the frustration of dealing with other people's attitudes. The solution to that problem is don't engage in debates if you don't think they are capable of a reasonable discussion. There are polite ways of avoiding getting into the whole atheism debate.

Duggys Housemate

For me its people thinking "Ah you're just being trendy" and not understanding or being a bit baffled when you explain why you didn't marry in a church, won't baptist your child and won't be getting involved in communion/confirmation. It is like they can't understand that I've thought long and deeply about what being a Catholic involves, such as the eating of the host, the sins, the nonsense of confession, the infallibility of the pope and, oh, not really believing in a higher power, and decided this was not for me.

I think that since Catholicism is now largely cultural - and has been for some people for generations, most people would think you are being a bit precious. Lots of non-believers have participated in Baptism etc throughout the ages. As for confirmation, and communion. Both are rites of passage for youngsters, I think communion is horrible.( Dressing girls up in white?) but confirmation is like a Bar Mitzvah, celebrating puberty. Until secularism has something similar the kids would be left out. Possibly schools should do a secular and church "confirmation" where the secular kids do something else outside, or before, the Church, I dunno. It would need a Quorum.

As for transubstantiation, its a pretty clever theory -- all told.

Zamboni

lazygal wrote: »

What's frustrating about atheism for you?

Dealing with the realities of living in a non secular country.

robindch

lazygal wrote: »

What's frustrating about atheism for you?

Being right in the company of people with opposite opinions who are also right

joseph brand

Losing respect for 'believers' as they tell you through glassy eyes about how wonderful god is. They could have lost someone close, a limb or be living a tortured existence, but god is good.

You have to weigh up whether you want to laugh in their face and ask them if they are serious or maybe just smile and nod hoping the topic isn't broached again.

I suppose the lie gets them through the day, but it's still a lie.


Oh yeah. Watching church-goers being duped and believing in magic can be a little surreal and cause a person to lose faith hope in humanity. Just look at the flock of suckers that go to Christina Gallagher's church to buy her old bricks and cuttings of old carpet. Hitchens wept.

swiftblade

People who don't know what secularism actually is, or have a werid notion of what it is. :mad:

Seachmall

The inevitable assumptions that come with using the word "atheist".

No. I'm not going through a phase (I'm in my twenties FFS!).
No. I don't think I'm better than you.
No. I'm not being closed-minded.
No. I don't think life is all one big waste of time.
No. I didn't have a traumatic experience.

And so on and so forth.

Galvasean

Shaving is tricky. Damn lack of reflection :mad:

Penn

Living in a non-secular country and having to listen to everyone presume everyone else in the country is Catholic too, and not taking atheism seriously.

I remember a few years ago, my father simply could not understand that they served meat in the college canteen on Ash Wednesday. Even when I explained the large number of Asian, European and simply non-Catholic students in the college, he couldn't understand that an Irish college (as in, college located in Ireland) served meat on Ash Wednesday.

Or regular comments from people who know I'm an atheist about not going to Mass on days like Good Friday or Christmas. They seem to think atheist = lazy.

lazygal

It's a trick question! There is no mass on Good Friday!

Duggys Housemate

joseph brand wrote: »

Losing respect for 'believers' as they tell you through glassy eyes about how wonderful god is. They could have lost someone close, a limb or be living a tortured existence, but god is good.

You have to weigh up whether you want to laugh in their face...

Really?

Penn wrote: »

Living in a non-secular country and having to listen to everyone presume everyone else in the country is Catholic too, and not taking atheism seriously.

I remember a few years ago, my father simply could not understand that they served meat in the college canteen on Ash Wednesday. Even when I explained the large number of Asian, European and simply non-Catholic students in the college, he couldn't understand that an Irish college (as in, college located in Ireland) served meat on Ash Wednesday.

Or regular comments from people who know I'm an atheist about not going to Mass on days like Good Friday or Christmas. They seem to think atheist = lazy.

The number of church goers is dropping like a stone in Ireland, in the UK it is insignificant statistically. Who, in their twenties, goes to mass on a Sunday?

From here

“Many outside of Ireland still believe that Ireland is a bastion of traditional Catholicism, they are surprised to discover that there are parishes in Dublin where the presence at Sunday Mass is some 5% of the Catholic population and, in some cases, even below 2%. On any particular Sunday about 18% of the Catholic population in the Archdiocese of Dublin attends Mass”

And that I think is what somewhat amuses me about modern Atheists. A dying religion believed by an ever smaller and ageing group, and the modern Atheist is apparently batting off uncomfortable questions left right and centre about his lack of Church attendance. Its common.

Galvasean

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

And that I think is what somewhat amuses me about modern Atheists. A dying religion believed by an ever smaller and ageing group, and the modern Atheist is apparently batting off uncomfortable questions left right and centre about his lack of Church attendance. Its common.

It's a strange one alright. From personal experience it's the 'ala carte' Catholics who question my atheism the most.

lazygal

Galvasean wrote: »

It's a strange one alright. From personal experience it's the 'ala carte' Catholics who question my atheism the most.

I have found this so true. The real faithful think its respectful that people like me have opted out. Then you have my parents who would never go to mass or observe or believe any of the teachings for about 15 years now who are quizzing me on why we've decided not to christen our child and what will we do when communion time comes around.

If I was truly a believer, people like them would annoy me far more than people who've thought the decision to leave the faith through.

Readyhed

Being told "I'll pray for you"

Paparazzo

Catholic politicians lobbying the government is the most frustrating thing for me. The thing is, most sensible Catholics (or christians) can even see why we should be secular.
And it's so hard to find fresh baby meat these days.

GLaDOS

Hearing people people who break half the rules of Catholicism (Pre-marital sex, artificial contraception etc), who go to mass once or twice a year, who abhor homophobia and are horrified by the sex scandals of the church insist that they are Catholic.

The mind boggles.

Ghost Buster

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Hearing people people who break half the rules of Catholicism (Pre-marital sex, artificial contraception etc), who go to mass once or twice a year, who abhor homophobia and are horrified by the sex scandals of the church insist that they are Catholic.

The mind boggles.

This

Plus "How do you know that about the bible/religion/church practices etc if you are an atheist"?
(Pssssssst. Its called 'an informed decision)

Readyhed

Maybe You are a "non Practicising Atheist"

edellc

I'm in my 30's now and been an atheist since primary school (was dragged down the aisle for my confirmation and told the bishop I didn't believe a word he said and this was all nonsense and got a wallop over the head from my sponsor) - my school was very harsh catholic one which made me question quite a lot but gave me the answers I needed to be brave and walk away from religion

I think what I find the hardest is how excluded you feel as even in Ireland of today most community activities happen around the church, also its hard to find like minded people in my area who understand why I didnt baptise my child or why my partner and I are not married.

I am a vegetarian for my own personal reasons just like I am an atheist for my own personal reasons but I do find too many people with the same lifestyle choices as me tend to feel they have the right to force these lifestyles on others which is exactly what religious organisations do with their beliefs, so I find that extremely frustrating

sorry if offended by the last paragraph but if you are then your one of those who do it

HUNK

The constant hunger for baby flesh.

sonicthebadger*

People managing to agree and disagree with me in the same sentence. eg. "Of course all God's children are created equal, but gay's shouldn't marry".

Or "Religion is important, no... not those bits, the love your neighbour bit".

sbsquarepants

I wouldn't call it frustrating as such, but the most common mini annoyance for me is when people assume you are catholic or at the very least christian. I personally don't bother telling anyone my religious beliefs untill they assume im a catholic. Even then i normally just say i'm not catholic and you can see the gears working behind their eyes, some probe further "protestant?" No. "Oh!" I usually put them out of their curious misery around there!:)

It's not as bad as it used to be, there was a time when saying you were an atheist was similar to saying you were a satanist!!

Sarky

The trouble religious people have just accepting a simple point becomes an endless parade of "You might be right, you might be wrong" and similar ****.

My parents make a show of telling me they'll light a candle for me whenever I mention something big like a deadline or competition coming up, as if a candle burning down 150 miles away will have any bearing on what happens to me in the near future. And then the "I know you don't believe in it, but sure it MIGHT help..." defense comes in.

Bah. So much fence-sitting. It is quite vexing.

mikhail

Sarky wrote: »

The trouble religious people have just accepting a simple point becomes an endless parade of "You might be right, you might be wrong" and similar ****.

My parents make a show of telling me they'll light a candle for me whenever I mention something big like a deadline or competition coming up, as if a candle burning down 150 miles away will have any bearing on what happens to me in the near future. And then the "I know you don't believe in it, but sure it MIGHT help..." defense comes in.

Bah. So much fence-sitting. It is quite vexing.

Why have that argument? If lighting a candle makes your mum feel like she's helping you, let her. Choose your battles, especially with family.

Doctor DooM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I wouldn't call it frustrating as such, but the most common mini annoyance for me is when people assume you are catholic or at the very least christian. I personally don't bother telling anyone my religious beliefs untill they assume im a catholic. Even then i normally just say i'm not catholic and you can see the gears working behind their eyes, some probe further "protestant?" No. "Oh!" I usually put them out of their curious misery around there!:)

It's not as bad as it used to be, there was a time when saying you were an atheist was similar to saying you were a satanist!!

I used to take immense delight from telling people my girlfriend of the time was the daughter of a priest.

Everyone just assumed it was a Catholic priest and the look of shock was gas.

guitarzero

Being better than everyone else, kinda like a god...I mean...

Gbear

mikhail wrote: »

Why have that argument? If lighting a candle makes your mum feel like she's helping you, let her. Choose your battles, especially with family.

Well sometimes, especially with family (mine are also non religious so it's not specific to this issue) a line in the sand needs to be drawn.

Give the feckers an inch and they'll take an astronomical unit.


My gripe is priests or other religious people waffling on the radio or TV and not having their nonsense corrected by the host. I end up bouncing around my car in a rage shouting "THATS ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS! WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?".

Oh, and religious people whining about not respecting their beliefs... well it's not as if we're burning them at the stake.:rolleyes:

Duggys Housemate

Gbear wrote: »

Well sometimes, especially with family (mine are also non religious so it's not specific to this issue) a line in the sand needs to be drawn.

Give the feckers an inch and they'll take an astronomical unit.


My gripe is priests or other religious people waffling on the radio or TV and not having their nonsense corrected by the host. I end up bouncing around my car in a rage shouting "THATS ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS! WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?".

Oh, and religious people whining about not respecting their beliefs... well it's not as if we're burning them at the stake.:rolleyes:

There seems to be a modern atheist belief that the only crimes in history are religious, and religious people were not ever persecuted ( i.e. in Stalinism, Maoism, Tibet etc.). They were. In Tibet, they are. So the last sentence is not an argument.

There are plenty of people on the radio I find to be talking waffle, most people in fact. Point two, not an argument ( not specific to being an atheist).

lastly, you modern atheists need to actually stop acting like spoilt kids. Recently, I was in a room with girls, I work with, who talked nonsense about psychics and I kept my mouth shut. Physics are frauds, but nobody likes a smart arse. If a religious person is whinging about gays, butt in, if they are lighting a candle for the dead granny, and you think (rightly) that that candles won't work, you really need to shut up on that belief.

leddpipe

I find it difficult maintaining a constant sense of sneering condescension! Its always worth it though

Nervous Wreck

Being asked "Oh god, you're not one of those militant atheists, are you?"

No. In fact, you were the one who brought religion into this conversation; I simply tried to steer the conversation away from the topic cos I have nothing to say on the matter. And, generally, it's people on your side of this conversation who are the militant ones. So, seriously, get fucked.

Duggys Housemate

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

Physics are frauds,

hey they'll find the higgs boson some day,really they will :mad:

kylith

Sarky wrote: »

My parents make a show of telling me they'll light a candle for me whenever I mention something big like a deadline or competition coming up, as if a candle burning down 150 miles away will have any bearing on what happens to me in the near future. And then the "I know you don't believe in it, but sure it MIGHT help..." defense comes in.

mikhail wrote: »

Why have that argument? If lighting a candle makes your mum feel like she's helping you, let her. Choose your battles, especially with family.

I think that Sarky's point is that the parents make a point of saying it because they know he's an atheist. My mum does the same; goes out of her way to tell me that she'd praying for me for every little thing. Recently she's started praying to my grandmother (deceased) to intercede :rolleyes:

I just make a point of saying "Grand. Whatever makes you feel better".

Duggys Housemate

bluewolf wrote: »

hey they'll find the higgs boson some day,really they will :mad:

The supposed "God particle" - some atheist you are

ah im not

Genghiz Cohen

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

The supposed "God particle" - some atheist you are

Now call Bluewolf a guy!

Genghiz Cohen

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

Now call Bluewolf a guy!

:D:D:D

Bannasidhe

Spent an average of 5 days a month in hospital over an eight month period a few years ago - always in the same ward but EVERY single time we'd have to fill in the same damn forms 'Religion?'. 'None.' 'Oh...kaaayyy...are you sure?'. 'Absolutely!'

Yet every single time I woke from the morphine induced haze there was a priest at the end of my bed blessing me!!! Now I was pretty ill at the time - but not so ill that I had a radical, fear induced, rethink of my religious status.
Kept asking him to please stop doing that - he ignored me. Complained to the nurses - they looked at me as if I had two heads, one even asked me was I sure I didn't want to be blessed seeing as I was quite ill. Yes, an ill atheist so please stop that man flinging water at me every time the drugs you give me render me unconscious!!!!
In the end it was a Muslim surgeon who had a quiet word on my behalf and the water flinging stopped...instead I was treated to daily visits by a kindly Franciscan who wanted to 'chat' :eek: :mad::mad::mad:

Zamboni

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Spent an average of 5 days a month in hospital over an eight month period a few years ago - always in the same ward but EVERY single time we'd have to fill in the same damn forms 'Religion?'. 'None.' 'Oh...kaaayyy...are you sure?'. 'Absolutely!'

Yet every single time I woke from the morphine induced haze there was a priest at the end of my bed blessing me!!! Now I was pretty ill at the time - but not so ill that I had a radical, fear induced, rethink of my religious status.
Kept asking him to please stop doing that - he ignored me. Complained to the nurses - they looked at me as if I had two heads, one even asked me was I sure I didn't want to be blessed seeing as I was quite ill. Yes, an ill atheist so please stop that man flinging water at me every time the drugs you give me render me unconscious!!!!
In the end it was a Muslim surgeon who had a quiet word on my behalf and the water flinging stopped...instead I was treated to daily visits by a kindly Franciscan who wanted to 'chat' :eek: :mad::mad::mad:

Kind of funny though.
I can imagine Daragh O'Brian telling this story on stage.

Bannasidhe

Zamboni wrote: »

Kind of funny though.
I can imagine Daragh O'Brian telling this story on stage.

Scared the crap out of me the first time it happened. There I was, floating in a purple haze when I felt water hitting my face...well...I hoped it was water. Cue painful fumbling on locker to find glasses. World came into a sort of focus and there there he was - poised to fling more water. 'ARRRGGGHHH!!!' I roared. 'WAAAAHHH!!' he screamed...it was quite funny actually but it really hurt when I laughed...meaning more morphine... which led to more water flinging...

The whole experience has put me right off morphine.

Gbear

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

There seems to be a modern atheist belief that the only crimes in history are religious

Bull****

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

, and religious people were not ever persecuted ( i.e. in Stalinism, Maoism, Tibet etc.).

Me calling religious belief stupid isn't persecution. That's why it's whining.
However, atheists or any brand of heretics were killed, quite a bit.
Burning at the stake was one method, hence the reference. Other ones such as Iron Maidens and this particular cheery one - the Judas Cradle.

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

There are plenty of people on the radio I find to be talking waffle, most people in fact. Point two, not an argument ( not specific to being an atheist).

This thread isn't an argument. It's stating things that annoy you as an atheist. You don't decide what annoys me.

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

lastly, you modern atheists need to actually stop acting like spoilt kids. Recently, I was in a room with girls, I work with, who talked nonsense about psychics and I kept my mouth shut. Physics are frauds, but nobody likes a smart arse. If a religious person is whinging about gays, butt in, if they are lighting a candle for the dead granny, and you think (rightly) that that candles won't work, you really need to shut up on that belief.

"you modern athiests"? You mean people who're part of the Atheist Club and adhere to the Atheist Charter?

jasonb

A couple of things really :

1. People using phrases like 'I know you're not open to this', like being an Atheist is close-minded.
2. As someone else said earlier in the thread, how difficult it is to be an atheist in Ireland, in practical terms. Things like needing Baptism for so many schools, the 'norm' being a church wedding etc. These religious ceremonies have become social events, which makes it all the harder to not go to them.
3. Having to be 'respectful' of beliefs that I think are clearly crazy.

J.

Bannasidhe

jasonb wrote: »

A couple of things really :

1. People using phrases like 'I know you're not open to this', like being an Atheist is close-minded.
2. As someone else said earlier in the thread, how difficult it is to be an atheist in Ireland, in practical terms. Things like needing Baptism for so many schools, the 'norm' being a church wedding etc. These religious ceremonies have become social events, which makes it all the harder to not go to them.
3. Having to be 'respectful' of beliefs that I think are clearly crazy.

J.

Or being told 'oh, your not really an atheist - you just have issues with the Catholic Church'.

Yes, I have issues with the Catholic Church...

But that is not why I am an atheist - I would just become a Protestant if that were the case. I am an atheist because I find the whole concept of a god -any god- to be unbelievable.

robindch

Bannasidhe wrote: »

World came into a sort of focus and there there he was - poised to fling more water. 'ARRRGGGHHH!!!' I roared. 'WAAAAHHH!!' he screamed...it was quite funny

Heavens, why so aggressive? He's only trying to help!

Bannasidhe

robindch wrote: »

Heavens, why so aggressive? He's only trying to help!

The magic water burned....:(

Sarky

"You want to help? Get me some more goddamn morphine!"

Bannasidhe

Bannasidhe wrote: »

The magic water burned....:(

that's because you're in league with the devil :mad:

Bannasidhe

bluewolf wrote: »

that's because you're in league with the devil :mad:

Hmmmm...if holy god's magic water burned would evil satan's brimstone be cooling????

Bannasidhe

Sarky wrote: »

"You want to help? Get me some more goddamn morphine!"

'Or even better an alternative opiate derivative that comes without extra added water in the face.'