Seven-year old announces he's gay

MajorMax

When I was 13 I asked my mother what she would do if I was Gay, she replied that she would introduce me to a prostitute. This has given rise to two questions
1. How did my mother know any prostitutes?

2. Why, for the love of God, didn't I tell her I was gay. WHY?

token101

Jesus that blog post is American ****ing nonsense. No one batted an eye lid either when I had 'half naked' wrestlers and footballers all over my wall either. FFS do we let, or have we ever even considered letting, seven year olds vote? No. So we obviously don't put an awful lot of faith in what they say. They're kids, they're impressionable. He doesn't have a crush on the guy in Glee, he's seen him and wants to be like him. I look up to Stephen Fry, but I've never felt attracted to him. Seven year olds are too young to be making any kind of decision about this. If he decides to date men when he's older, off with him.

token101

MajorMax wrote: »

When I was 13 I asked my mother what she would do if I was Gay, she replied that she would introduce me to a prostitute. This has given rise to two questions
1. How did my mother know any prostitutes?

2. Why, for the love of God, didn't I tell her I was gay. WHY?

Your mam was clearly a ledgebag. I wish I had thought of that at 14

coffee_cake

I had my first crush at 8, I don't see what's impossible about 7

maybe he is going through a phase and maybe he isn't. Time will tell
Not sure about announcing it to the world

Micky Dolenz

Pdfile wrote: »

or maybe thee kid wants a willy in the bum ?? :pac:

Mod

That's disturbing on so many levels pdfile.

gcgirl

Bannasidhe wrote: »

krudler wrote: »

does a 7 year old even know what being gay is?

I did. I had a huge crush on the girl up the road. I just didn't have a 'word' for it. 40 years later, I still haven't grown out of my same-sex crush phase.
My sister knew she liked boys aged 7, my brother knew he liked girls - why the hell should it be any different for gay kids?
I knew before my son was 7 that he was straight, just like I knew my niece wasn't.

Plus a million
Sam Fox was one of my first crushes I was 7/8, I really loved boobies

Nothingbetter2d

The King of Moo wrote: »

Amelia, a blogger for The Huffington Post has recently written about her seven-year old son telling her that he's gay. If the below is TL;DR, that's the important point.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Amelia/when-your-7-year-old-son-announces-im-gay_b_1277910.html



How do you think you'd react?

I think I might be initially surprised, but I think at such a young age when kids have little sexual awareness, it's not so strange to have same-sex crushes (though I don't recall having any) and they can't really know if they're gay or straight.

If he was getting close to his teenage years and he was still insisting he's gay as much as this kid is insisting, I'd try to make sure he really felt it, and wasn't letting his insistence get in the way of discovering his sexuality for himself. I'd be the same if my son was hitting puberty and kept going on about how straight he was. I'd be suspicious by the level of insistence.

Reading about the parents' reaction in this case though, I am struck by how differently my parents would've reacted if I had told them I was gay when I was seven, and how times have changed (for the better overall, though I can't help but have a slight dislike for a father telling his son he's awesome. But that's mostly my issue with the word "awesome."). They wouldn't have got angry (and if I had turned out to have been gay, they would've been fine with that, though I'm sure it would've taken some time for them to adjust to it) but they would have tried to stop me saying it very quickly. And immediately given me a football and a toy gun, if only because they knew how much hassle a gay person would get!

How do you think you'd react in this situation?

Even if you have no ounce of prejudice in your body, would you still be a bit shocked?

Would you have some kind of talk with your son?

so is he "the only gay in the creche" ?

The King of Moo

penelopeanne wrote: »

Kids as young as seven should be protected from tv programmes with ANY sexual content. It is just too young. That is what having parents is for. Up to the age of 18 our parents are supposed to protect us from anything that might hurt us. I see a child of seven as far too young to know what sex is all about. I'm straight, I'm gay... at SEVEN. God Knows, we're children for a short enough time. I had no idea of sexual preference or anything like that until I was at least 13 and then fancied the latest popstar, who happened to be male, and then my hormones took over, and I knew I fancied boys. I'm sure if I announced to my mother when I was 7, Mum I'm straight, she would have given me a clout. You just don't announce these things. That child sounds like a right little ****e, spoiled brat, who is sooo precocious. These yanky kids drive me madddd..

toexpress wrote: »

Am as gay as the day is long myself so some of this may shock you.

My reaction would be horror. That's not to say I don't want to be gay, in the words of the song I am what I am and I had a great 10 years with my partner until he died. But it can be a lonely life, it's not what I would want for any child of mine I have to say.

Also, he is 7, he is not sexually developed or aware of what all of this means. He has another few years to go on that one and it could all change.

What this does raise is the fact that there is an overtly sexual charge in the various different TV shows that are available for children. I don't watch Glee (I confess I would be more of a Prime Time fan) so I cant comment on that but there does seem to be something wrong with TV shows that would try and display such content in an effort to sway a child in one way or the other. Sexuality is not a free choice, I am not suggesting that but it is a path of discovery that this child should make as he becomes a teenager and a young man.

In closing, what the hell ever happened to Bosco?

I agree that seven is too young to be watching Glee, because it's too sexual and just generally better suited to adults. However, the hints of sex in Glee are almost predominantly heterosexual. As an American major network programme, it's very chaste when it comes to gay sexuality.

So if the kid has got his idea about being gay solely from watching Glee, it's not a sexual sense of homosexuality, more a purely romantic or homosocial sense.

He might well have an inkling of his own homosexuality, as some gay people do from a young age, but I don't think there's much sexual about wanting to be Blaine's boyfriend (sorry actor who plays Blaine!) as there's nothing sexual about him or his relationship with Kurt (I debated pretending not to know what his name is).
It might just be a case of him liking Blaine and wanting to be like him, regardless of whether the kid's gay or straight.

I do think he sounds very spoiled though, but I think that about most kids I encounter these days!

CdeC

I found out what the word gay meant when I was 7/8 and my word it scared the **** out of me. I knew I liked boys but didn't know it had a name. Queue years of denial and it really messed me up as I thought I was going to be thrown out of home if anyone found out.
This really warms my heart to hear this, I think kids should be told no matter what you are you will be loved and accepted all the same.
Fair play to the parents.

flanders1979

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I think I would have got slapped.

I would have been put up for adoption

Show Time

When i was seven the only thing on my mind was did the Action Man jet pack really work. It did not and my older brother kicked the sh1t out of me for breaking his toy.

Sindri

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

He's only 7, he has no idea if he is gay or not and he has no idea what sex actually is.

The mother is a ****ing idiot.

I don't think that's true.


Until Freud children were believed to be asexual, but they are not. Far from it. Children have sexual impulses just like everyone else. It changes during adolescence yes, due to hormones and brain development and becomes more intense. But children do have sexual impulses and do think about sex.

I find it hard to believe people think that they do not. They must be extremely misinformed.

PrincessLola

Children do have sexual feeings, they usually just lack the language to understand them and express them. If this kid knows what being gay means then I'd believe him for now (sexuality is fluid afterall).

Also I remember from being in primary school ten years ago that children were very homophobic, does anyone know if kids are still homophobic or if it has changed?

Seachmall

PrincessLola wrote: »

(sexuality is fluid afterall).

Are you suggesting people can transition between being gay and straight?

Liam Byrne

PrincessLola wrote: »

(sexuality is fluid afterall)

Since when ?

PrincessLola

Seachmall wrote: »

Are you suggesting people can transition between being gay and straight?

Not all people can. But many (mainly women) are sexually fluid. Look up the 'Kinsey Scale', theres a spectrum.

Seachmall

PrincessLola wrote: »

Not all people can. But many (mainly women) are sexually fluid. Look up the 'Kinsey Scale', theres a spectrum.

The Kinsey Scale is a static scale of measurement, not a theory on sexuality (or it's "fluidity").

It doesn't suggest you can seamlessly move between the points.

UglyBolloxFace

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Your daughter's a lesbian. And good on her:)

I don't think she is. She definitely has a leaning towards boys, Olly Moors, One direction, she told me someone the other day was cute (can't remember who but they were male). She never says the same thing about females now. But it wouldn't have surprised me either way if she was or she wasn't and for the first 5/6 years of her life we pretty almost expected it due to various things she said.

Edit: Bressie, that's who it was!

seamus

phasers wrote: »

Do seven year olds actually notice other boys and girls in that way?

Yep.
I don't remember being 7, but there's plenty of documentary evidence of me being besotted with girls in my class at 6/7/8/9 years of age. I think I fairly consistently had a crush on at least one girl most of the way through primary school. I didn't understand it of course.

Ask any teacher of young kids (even at 4), and they'll tell you that you'll often see blatant crushes going on between some of the kids. The kids don't understand it, it's just primal stirrings driving them to "like" other kids.

I would have big concern about a child declaring that they're gay. Not because of the gay thing, but because they don't know what it means. Imagine a 7 year old boy declaring that "I want to have sex with women"

There's the additional "stigma" issue. A child who declares in front of his friends that he's gay at 7 years of age is going to have a very rough time for the next ten years - especially if it turns out he's not gay.

Born to Die

I was 12 before I realised I could get pleasure from my genitalia.

No Glee in my day.

CrazyRabbit

My only problem with all this is the parents publicising it. There's no need and no benefit to the child. It can only cause problems for him.

As for the boy identifying himself as gay...well, maybe he is and maybe he isn't. At 7, is it really such a big deal anyway? It's not like he's out dating, or involved in anything sexual. For now, it's just a word and a feeling that he is more comfortable feeling 'attracted' to males. As he gets older, his sexual identity will develop naturally and he may find that he is gay, straight, bisexual, transgender or something else.

Remember, you don't suddenly become 'gay' or become 'straight' once you reach a certain age. It's something that develops over time. So perhaps at his stage of development, he finds boys 'handsome' instead of finding girls being 'pretty'. Perhaps this will change...or not.

Right now, I'd be more comfortable saying the boy is gay-curious or gay-leaning rather than 100% outright gay. It's too early for his sexuality to be fully developed.

Stiffler2

Seachmall wrote: »

1. Kid watches Glee.
2. Kid mimics popular Glee character.

It's what kids do.

I watched James Bond as a kid and despite what I told my parents I am not, nor was I ever, a fucking spy.

I blame the parents for this "fault"

PrincessLola

Seachmall wrote: »

The Kinsey Scale is a static scale of measurement, not a theory on sexuality (or it's "fluidity").

It doesn't suggest you can seamlessly move between the points.

So people are always attracted to what they are attracted to and they NEVER change?

I'm not saying 'omg you can catch teh ghey!' I'm just saying sometimes at different life stages and hormonal fluctuations some women change preferences.

Seachmall

PrincessLola wrote: »

So people are always attracted to what they are attracted to and they NEVER change?

I'm not saying anything.

I'm questioning the accuracy of the following.

sometimes at different life stages and hormonal fluctuations some women change preferences.

Liam Byrne

PrincessLola wrote: »

Seachmall wrote: »

The Kinsey Scale is a static scale of measurement, not a theory on sexuality (or it's "fluidity").

It doesn't suggest you can seamlessly move between the points.

So people are always attracted to what they are attracted to and they NEVER change?

I'm not saying 'omg you can catch teh ghey!' I'm just saying sometimes at different life stages and hormonal fluctuations some women change preferences.

Surely they change preferences in terms of the type of guy (or girl) that they want, rather than actually changing their overall preference ?

Jesus Wept

The best thing they can do is save the memory so that in years to come if he turns out to be hetro, they can regale any future girlfriends of the story.

johnr1

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Surely they change preferences in terms of the type of guy (or girl) that they want, rather than actually changing their overall preference ?

I don't claim to more than a slight knowledge of this subject Liam, but you need to study this a bit more if you really don't believe that sexuality of SOME people fluctuates a bit before it settles down, or that some people supress their true sexuality till well advanced in life, only to suddenly have an awakening in middle age.

Btw the Kinsey report (largely discredited now) suggests among things, that all sexuality is on a sliding scale with some people on the extremities - the people who were totally sure of their sexuality throughout their lives with no doubts, and some people in the middle, - true bisexuals, with all other mixes scattered along it. That bit of the report makes sense to me from having conversations with people, and from reading peoples experiences.
Example: for years, I couldn't understand why a straight identifying man would ever have a sexual experience with another man, (clearly some do) but it makes sense if he is not on the extreme hetro end of the scale as I am. Same goes for women if not moreso, as I believe a larger proportion of straight identifying women report some same sex leanings

From Wikipedia :
The Kinsey scale, also called the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale,[1] attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of his or her sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual. In both the Male and Female volumes of the Kinsey Reports, an additional grade, listed as "X", was used for asexuality.[2][3] It was first published in Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) by Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy and others, and was also prominent in the complementary work Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953). Numbers between 1 and 5 indicate bisexuality.[1]

benway

Personally, I'm pretty sure that I knew I very much liked girls well before puberty, certainly when I wasn't much older than 7.

Just wondering if there's a danger it might go a bit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtrbFYyHNTg

later12

I don't think it's any harm at all to allow a kid believe he might be gay. What's the worst that could happen? That he might have to get used to the idea of being straight when he reaches his teens? So what, the gays are doing that all the time.

The important thing is that the parents do not try to influence their son's behaviour or identity beyond what is reasonable, and that they politely ignore his claim on homosexuality for the moment, just as they would ignore his professions of love for his female classmates.

Liam Byrne

johnr1 wrote: »

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Surely they change preferences in terms of the type of guy (or girl) that they want, rather than actually changing their overall preference ?

I don't claim to more than a slight knowledge of this subject Liam, but you need to study this a bit more if you really don't believe that sexuality of SOME people fluctuates a bit before it settles down, or that some people supress their true sexuality till well advanced in life, only to suddenly have an awakening in middle age.

Suppressing what you are and then later stopping suppressing it is not the same as changing it.