The worst punishment imposed by your parents

r3nu4l

Wooden spoon a few times and on a couple of occasions I was forced into the back garden in the middle of the night in Winter with just my PJs on. :eek: Myself and my brother shared a room and instead of going to sleep we'd been laughing, joking etc and after a few warnings we were both thrown out inthe freezing cold and the door locked behind us

We were left outside for about 30 minutes and then brought in, given cups of hot milk and sent back to bed :pac:

paky

Big Steve wrote: »

I would completely cut out all contact with them. That's monstrous.

i could go on but i won't. i think some things just shouldn't be discussed in public

DazMarz

My folks never raised a hand to me, but it was all psychological punishment and torture I got put through. Nothing I ever did was good enough. Pretty much everything I did was to try and earn their love and nothing was ever good enough in their eyes. I frequently found solace in the bottom of a bottle as a teen (hiding this too was fun; used to dump empties on my way to school and stuff).

I often find myself wondering if the odd physical punishment, while genuinely loving me and stuff, would have been better.

I pushed myself to excel in school, despite just wanting to have fun, all to please them and to live up to their expectations. I always wanted to be in the Gardaí, but they wanted me to go to college first. So, instead of following my dream and signing up to join the Gardaí, I went to UCD and completed my degree. Got a 2:1 degree, but was miserable for most of my time in college. And now I'm languishing in menial jobs and stuck waiting for the Garda recruitment freeze to be over, which isn't likely to be anytime before I turn fúcking 40.

I was regularly told I was a failure. Runner-up in a TaeKwonDo competition... not good enough. Failure. Why didn't you win? Getting dropped from the football team (I was a goalkeeper), in favour of a guy who is now playing professionally in England... Failure. You're never good enough. Useless. You can't get a job better than a barman? Useless, failure, shame of the family...

I did so much for them. Any time they went on holidays, I was relied upon to manage and run the family business, which I did. Any time I was needed to do anything, I did it. But did I get thanked or appreciated for it? Never. Anyone else in the family or anyone else who worked with them was treated with respect and adulation. But their own son was always a letdown, a failure and just a fúckup.

I cried myself to sleep so many nights, just wanting them to love me. But they never did. I used to drink myself into oblivion so many nights and seriously thought about... well, when you get depressed what terrible things do you think about???

I finally moved out of their house and into my own place about a year ago, and honestly it was the best thing I ever did. I still see them a bit, as I still feel a sense of duty to do right by them, but I cannot wait for the day when I can finally go, have my own life and be free. My friends (who have met them) cannot understand it; they are as nice as pie to all my friends and so on. They never see the dark side of it. The passive-aggressiveness, the guilt-trips, the anger, the mental torture. It never used to end.

I look at other people and see the good relations they have with their parents and it kills me a little inside. My best friend would do anything for his parents and vice-versa... mine can't even have a genuine kind word for me at times... Living away from them has made things a little more civil, but I still feel bitter towards them sometimes. No matter how hard I try, nor what I ever do... nothing is good enough and I'm always playing second best to other family members (most notably my cousins) and I'm always seen as something of a black sheep in the family (even though I do nothing wrong, except try my best). I'll admit, I probably don't live up to what I could be potentially, but I try and I am a really hard worker, but nothing is good enough.

The one that really sticks in my mind is when I had just finished an 18-hour working shift and was coming home at like 9am. My mother was in the house. A package from England had arrived for me, and she'd had to bring it in. It was a new suit, shirt and formal shoes I'd ordered from Savile Row. This started then, about me spending too much money on clothes. I was tired and responded in a bit of a snippier manner than I usually do and said something about that I could be injecting my money into my arm. Cue a rant from her about my failings and being worthless and never doing anything good with my life. Cue me moving out a week later. And good fúcking riddance. I might not be a high-powered millionaire or anything, but I live a good life and I try to enjoy it, but I don't think my mind will ever be right and I don't think I'll ever get over being more or less rejected by the two people who are supposed to love you most...

Sorry about the long rant, but it's good to get it off my chest!!!

LH Pathe

Referring to anyone and anything outside the immediate family to deal with what she n stand-in couldn't deal with.. a less violent example I once asked for help gettn off the ground as in job wise or life in general n they said ok - next thing i was being carted away to a mental institute. Breaches of trust can only go so far

Be grateful for more direct punishment as it means they can deal with it emselves and are not clueless or weak.

Ciderswigger

As a child I was threatened with the wooden spoon (that bloody thing was a threat in every household!)

As a teenager, I wasn't too bad. Just the odd time I crossed the line - home late, a bit drunk, treated the house 'like a hotel', etc. But when that happened it wasn't a punishment but the phrase "we're not angry with you, just so disappointed in you..." along with THAT look. I'd feel guilty for days...

zcorpian88

Was about 8 years old, I was out in the street just across the road from my house playing with a friend who is about the same age as me. We were bored and were just hanging round. There were these sharp stones all over the ground from the council up that week doing work on the path. Next thing my friend and I started hopping the stones off the ground and off the wall just breaking them up (it was before the celtic tiger so us kids had no playstations or mobile phones there was just 2 of us and we had sweet f**k all to do)....

Anyway we were hopping stones off the wall, next thing this kid we know that lived right beside where we were breaking the stones, he must have been 4 at the time. He comes out and just asks us what were up to and was talking away to us sitting on the wall, he was doing no harm.

Next thing my friend throws one of these sharp stones and hit the lad on the wall, splits the kids head wide open! then he my friend legs it off, leaving me me standing there in shock I don't know what the **** to do! so how do you think an 8 year old reacts to the situation? Think about it for a sec....imagine being 8 years old now!



Yes I ran off too thinking i'd get blamed. I ran like I never ran before. Got inside the house, prayed to God that it would blow over, but within minutes in my housing estate where everybody has to watch or get in on everyone elses business. A crowd developed of residents in the street and the young lads mother knocked on the door, surrounded by must have been a dozen or more people and a few more gawking at the door from about 10 feet from the door. I said "It wasn't me it was the other lad!" nobody believed me including my mother. I was scared ****less of all the people shouting that I did it. Felt helpless altogether,

I got a massive bollocking off both parents, got a few slaps and grounded for 2 weeks, I know 2 weeks doesn't sound like much of a punishment but I think its the longest grounding I ever got I wasn't grounded that often though as my parents were notoriously strict we rarely badly misbehaved in fairness towards other kids where i'm from as I am from sort of a rough area but the folks did raise my sisters and I reasonably well but that experience was awful especially the crowd shouting "He did it". Talk about wrong place at the wrong time! If I knew then what I know now I would have stayed there and helped the kid I wouldn't have got blamed then. My mother now regrets grounding me after I brought it up. I still do bring it up sometimes to remind her. 2 weeks of no outside playing tip the can with friends is like a frigging eternity like!

tonycascarino

Wooden spoon or Bamboo stick..many a time I felt their wrath

kraggy

DazMarz wrote: »

My folks never raised a hand to me, but it was all psychological punishment and torture I got put through. Nothing I ever did was good enough. Pretty much everything I did was to try and earn their love and nothing was ever good enough in their eyes. I frequently found solace in the bottom of a bottle as a teen (hiding this too was fun; used to dump empties on my way to school and stuff).

I often find myself wondering if the odd physical punishment, while genuinely loving me and stuff, would have been better.

I pushed myself to excel in school, despite just wanting to have fun, all to please them and to live up to their expectations. I always wanted to be in the Gardaí, but they wanted me to go to college first. So, instead of following my dream and signing up to join the Gardaí, I went to UCD and completed my degree. Got a 2:1 degree, but was miserable for most of my time in college. And now I'm languishing in menial jobs and stuck waiting for the Garda recruitment freeze to be over, which isn't likely to be anytime before I turn fúcking 40.

I was regularly told I was a failure. Runner-up in a TaeKwonDo competition... not good enough. Failure. Why didn't you win? Getting dropped from the football team (I was a goalkeeper), in favour of a guy who is now playing professionally in England... Failure. You're never good enough. Useless. You can't get a job better than a barman? Useless, failure, shame of the family...

I did so much for them. Any time they went on holidays, I was relied upon to manage and run the family business, which I did. Any time I was needed to do anything, I did it. But did I get thanked or appreciated for it? Never. Anyone else in the family or anyone else who worked with them was treated with respect and adulation. But their own son was always a letdown, a failure and just a fúckup.

I cried myself to sleep so many nights, just wanting them to love me. But they never did. I used to drink myself into oblivion so many nights and seriously thought about... well, when you get depressed what terrible things do you think about???

I finally moved out of their house and into my own place about a year ago, and honestly it was the best thing I ever did. I still see them a bit, as I still feel a sense of duty to do right by them, but I cannot wait for the day when I can finally go, have my own life and be free. My friends (who have met them) cannot understand it; they are as nice as pie to all my friends and so on. They never see the dark side of it. The passive-aggressiveness, the guilt-trips, the anger, the mental torture. It never used to end.

I look at other people and see the good relations they have with their parents and it kills me a little inside. My best friend would do anything for his parents and vice-versa... mine can't even have a genuine kind word for me at times... Living away from them has made things a little more civil, but I still feel bitter towards them sometimes. No matter how hard I try, nor what I ever do... nothing is good enough and I'm always playing second best to other family members (most notably my cousins) and I'm always seen as something of a black sheep in the family (even though I do nothing wrong, except try my best). I'll admit, I probably don't live up to what I could be potentially, but I try and I am a really hard worker, but nothing is good enough.

The one that really sticks in my mind is when I had just finished an 18-hour working shift and was coming home at like 9am. My mother was in the house. A package from England had arrived for me, and she'd had to bring it in. It was a new suit, shirt and formal shoes I'd ordered from Savile Row. This started then, about me spending too much money on clothes. I was tired and responded in a bit of a snippier manner than I usually do and said something about that I could be injecting my money into my arm. Cue a rant from her about my failings and being worthless and never doing anything good with my life. Cue me moving out a week later. And good fúcking riddance. I might not be a high-powered millionaire or anything, but I live a good life and I try to enjoy it, but I don't think my mind will ever be right and I don't think I'll ever get over being more or less rejected by the two people who are supposed to love you most...

Sorry about the long rant, but it's good to get it off my chest!!!

Surprised this post wasn't thanked by more people. Besides being a downright honest account of life thus far and you sound like a decent lad, it's excellently written.

Carry on with your own life. The only person you have to make sure is proud of you - is YOU.

Never forget that.

LH Pathe

Daz man nurture your ego. Snap back at them once in a while for being well, inferior - turn the tide.

jimthemental

I was talking to a friend of mine in front of my house when I was eleven when my father threw a yardbrush at me from about 10 meters away. Split my head open and to this day I still don't know what his temper was over.

Another time he thought I wasn't picking stones on the farm fast enough and jerked the tractor and loader forward to frighten me. Of course the gob****e collided the loader bucket with my knee and I couldn't walk for a few days. Psycho of a man.

crazygeryy

Doesn't really sound bad, but when my father put me in the car telling me he was bringing me down to the garda station if I didn't tell the truth.i stole money from his wallet but was denying it.
I nearly sh!t myself in that car and eventually told the truth.i was only 6 by the way and it was when kids were afraid of the guards.

My parents wouldnt pay for a ski trip my class were going on.


Fuc­king riff raff...

Balmed Out

confiscating my cigarettes

sebastianlieken

Dad gave me a good hard box across the face when I was about 12, got a bad bloody nose from it and was hence covered in blood leaving the hay barn.

Then it turns out mum remembered spending the "£10 i'd stolen from her purse" on groceries so I was innocent all along! so all in all, I got the last laugh!!!

haha.ha...haha.....ha

Quazzie

I was threatened with the 'black hole' in the local Garda barracks when I was a kid. I remember been shown the door to it once. For years I believed there was some cave-like hole in the Garda barracks for bold kids. I was in my early teens before the fear subsided and I realised it was a cupboard door I'd been shown.

cynder

It wasn't punishment as such, but the worse thing my patents did was deprive me on an education, at age 11 I was half way through 5 th class when we moved house. The house we moved yo was in the middle of nowhere and we (I was the youngest) never set foot in a school again.
This caused me endless problems throughout my life, social skills were poor, spellings poor, math okay enough to get me by, I was far from stupid. My days were spent cleaning, gardening, helping dad in the garage with cars or making lead weights and watching tv.

At 22 I went back to do the lca and fished with A score if 196 out of 200.

Gophur

kraggy wrote: »

Surprised this post wasn't thanked by more people. ..........

Would you ever take the Facebook cr4p and shove it? What is the verb "to thank" about?

It was a very humble post and, I'm sure, appreciated for it's honesty. Just because someone doesn't Facebook-thank it, doesn't mean the poster's honesty is not appreciated.

kraggy

Gophur wrote: »

Would you ever take the Facebook cr4p and shove it? What is the verb "to thank" about?

It was a very humble post and, I'm sure, appreciated for it's honesty. Just because someone doesn't Facebook-thank it, doesn't mean the poster's honesty is not appreciated.

Firstly, you must have a sad life if you are angry with my post that simply expressed surprise that the lad's post was not thanked more than it was.

Just because I said I was surprised that it wasn't, DOES NOT MEAN THAT I BELIEVE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

I was baffled when the whole thanks mechanism was brought in. I could not understand what purpose it would serve. Now that it's been in existence for a few years, I see that it does have it's advantages, though for reasons separate to the case in point here.

The reason I expressed surprise that it was not thanked more was because of some of the inane nonsense that gets thanked on a daily basis and yet here we had a genuine post with some good insight and it was not thanked much.

But you probably can't understand where I'm coming from as you're so full of rage at my neutral, harmless point.

So why don't you Gophur a walk and chill the Phuck out.

Dan133269

grindelwald wrote: »

It wasn't punishment as such, but the worse thing my patents did was deprive me on an education, at age 11 I was half way through 5 th class when we moved house. The house we moved yo was in the middle of nowhere and we (I was the youngest) never set foot in a school again.
This caused me endless problems throughout my life, social skills were poor, spellings poor, math okay enough to get me by, I was far from stupid. My days were spent cleaning, gardening, helping dad in the garage with cars or making lead weights and watching tv.

At 22 I went back to do the lca and fished with A score if 196 out of 200.

Jesus, sounds like something from Matilda, the Roald Dahl book. I'm fairly sure it's illegal for your parents not to send you to school or arrange home schooling up until a certain age.

Did you ever say it to your parents afterwards?

LittleBook

Making me go to mass.

Not letting me go on a school trip because they caught me smoking and listening to them tell me this while they puffed away on their fags.

podgemonster

Got Resident Evil for the PS1 off a friend after school. I was acting the maggot then in the garden and the mother just goes "Right, your not playing that game tonight".

cynder

Dan133269 wrote: »

Jesus, sounds like something from Matilda, the Roald Dahl book. I'm fairly sure it's illegal for your parents not to send you to school or arrange home schooling up until a certain age.

Did you ever say it to your parents afterwards?

I did. It was illegal, this was in co cork. I started full time work at 14 left home at 16. No one ever checked up on us even though they got the school clothing grant every year.


It's a hard life when a person has no formal education. I'm 31 so this happen 30 years ago back in the 1990s not back in the 60s.


I was the only one yo go back and get an education my brothers have none.

bonarboi

Sure whats wrong with smacking your children i'd do it all the time

gamgsam

An old friend of mine said he was caught smoking by his father. He made him finish the whole box there and then.

A year or so later he was caught wanking by his mother. Thank god it wasn't my father says he :pac::pac::pac:

Napper Hawkins

Taking me out of my local school away from my friends and sticking me in an all boys, religious rugby school.

Place was like a cult, I'd already decided even at that age (8) that religion was bull and I couldn't stand rugby which I was forced to play. Place was full of entitled, posh ****. Also turned girls into an alien species for a while and had awful trouble trying to relate to them for years as a result.

I realise now my parents were just trying to do their best for me but I'll always resent them a little for listening to pricks who just wanted their money rather than listening to me.

Get on with them now, though. They're sound and genuinely sorry for putting me through that and tell me regularly enough. Reading some of the ****e that people here have gone through though I realise that I'm ****ing blessed to be honest!

gamgsam

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Funnily enough, there's someone in my life right now who is closer to a box in the mouth than they realise. Been a while coming too. Should be....interesting..

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Get on with them now, though. They're sound and genuinely sorry for putting me through that and tell me regularly enough. Reading some of the ****e that people here have gone through though I realise that I'm ****ing blessed to be honest!

You used to be cool man.

CrazyRabbit

For me it was mostly just the normal physical beatings. But on occasion my mum completely lost it and hurt me quite badly. I remember having to go to the hospital after she had rammed my head into the bannister post the the bottom of the stairs. No idea what age I was.

I've forgiven her though, and she's a completely changed person now.

Napper Hawkins

gamgsam wrote: »

You used to be cool man.

Ha ha I was never cool! I wasn't referring to a family member in that post by the way and a little wierded out that you went to the trouble of finding it!

smash

After downloading the anarchists cook book I was following the recipe to make banana skins to smoke them. My mam caught me and made me smoke the whole lot. I couldn't talk for days!

opinion guy

paky wrote: »

my mother went to the courts. it was pretty traumatic. the day i refused to go to court i was at home in my parents house. that morning she came and told me to go to court. i didn't think she was serious so i laughed at her. she came back in with the telephone and smashed it off my head. :pac:

i rarely speak to them anymore

paky wrote: »

my parents got so angry with me after i dropped out of college that they through me out of the house. they then got a barring order against me from entering the house again. i didn't speak to them for 6 months after. when i started speaking to them again things were never the same and i don't think they ever will be the same again.

Eh....there has to be more to this story. You can't just walk into the courts and say 'I want my kid barred from my house because they left college'