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Stalking

  • 14-02-2012 2:00pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭


    Has anyone ever had, well basically it's beginning to seem like stalking.
    I'm getting constant texts every day. They ring my phone time and time again and then text me asking why I never answer. I've explained to them 3 times now in person. I'm receiving very weird messages of poetry. I've been followed to a nightclub. It's getting beyond obsessive. I was woken up in the middle of the night last night at 4am with phone calls.
    I don't want to have to change my number but I might have to. Luckily they don't know my exact address.
    What can you do in these situations? I'm really getting sick of it.


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    Aw someone has a secret admirer... embrace it, it's Valentine's


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Ya, mothers can be a nuisance some times.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    It amuses me so i'm going to continue to do it :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    Has anyone ever had, well basically it's beginning to seem like stalking.
    I'm getting constant texts every day. They ring my phone time and time again and then text me asking why I never answer. I've explained to them 3 times now in person. I'm receiving very weird messages of poetry. I've been followed to a nightclub. It's getting beyond obsessive. I was woken up in the middle of the night last night at 4am with phone calls.
    I don't want to have to change my number but I might have to. Luckily they don't know my exact address.
    What can you do in these situations? I'm really getting sick of it.
    Do you know the person or is it completely anonymous?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,199 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    Stalk them back!
    Find out where they live, and stand outside their bedroom window.

    Failing that, ask Liam Neeson to ring them back.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    Change your number?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,763 ✭✭✭✭Crann na Beatha


    This post has been deleted.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 369 ✭✭gud4u


    Can you block their number from your phone.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Ask them for naked photos!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,299 ✭✭✭✭later12


    It was just a co-incidence that we ended up at the same club teddy.
    By the way, love that ditty you were singing in the shower this morning.
    xx


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,633 ✭✭✭Feeona


    Has anyone ever had, well basically it's beginning to seem like stalking.
    I'm getting constant texts every day. They ring my phone time and time again and then text me asking why I never answer. I've explained to them 3 times now in person. I'm receiving very weird messages of poetry. I've been followed to a nightclub. It's getting beyond obsessive. I was woken up in the middle of the night last night at 4am with phone calls.
    I don't want to have to change my number but I might have to. Luckily they don't know my exact address.
    What can you do in these situations? I'm really getting sick of it.

    Your next step depends on the background of the stalking.

    Did you give an sign that you liked this person?
    Did you say that you'd meet them, and then didn't?
    Did you ignore a text/call before the stalking began in earnest?
    Did you sleep with them?

    Taking all these things into consideration will give you an indication of the severity of the stalking, and the likelihood of 'f*ck off' actually working.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Has anyone ever had, well basically it's beginning to seem like stalking.
    I'm getting constant texts every day. They ring my phone time and time again and then text me asking why I never answer. I've explained to them 3 times now in person. I'm receiving very weird messages of poetry. I've been followed to a nightclub. It's getting beyond obsessive. I was woken up in the middle of the night last night at 4am with phone calls.
    I don't want to have to change my number but I might have to. Luckily they don't know my exact address.
    What can you do in these situations? I'm really getting sick of it.

    Is this person male or female? you have met them right?

    You could report it to the gardai, keep a record of all the calls and txts.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 618 ✭✭✭Carter P Fly


    God, Some people!!

    Do you think its easy to hunt down your mobile and house numbers and plant bugs to record your calls?

    You think anyone can hack E-mail, twitter and facebook accounts and install keyloggers remotly?

    Its a helluva lot of work to get all the deatils about your Friends and to track your movement habits!!

    Its cold and lonley sitting in a car or in the hedges for hours on end to catch even a little glimpse of you through my scope.

    Can you hide and move and blend into the background without detection?

    These things take mad skillz.


    Man, Stalkers, they give so much and are so unappriciated!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,076 ✭✭✭superstoner90


    Run as fast and as far away as you can teddy, RUN!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    silly wrote: »
    Do you know the person or is it completely anonymous?
    I met them on a night out, met up for a while, then I decided to leave it at that, explained this to them on 3 separate occasion after being guilt tripped by text messages.
    I got messages asking why I hated them ect ect. I explained myself over and over that I didn't and it's just how I wanted things and they seemed to understand this, but then I start receiving the messages and phone calls again and again.
    To give you an example, I had 14 or 16 missed calls last Friday and a few text messages that I shudder to read.
    I sort of need to keep my phone number is the only thing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Has anyone ever had, well basically it's beginning to seem like stalking.
    I'm getting constant texts every day. They ring my phone time and time again and then text me asking why I never answer. I've explained to them 3 times now in person. I'm receiving very weird messages of poetry. I've been followed to a nightclub. It's getting beyond obsessive. I was woken up in the middle of the night last night at 4am with phone calls.
    I don't want to have to change my number but I might have to. Luckily they don't know my exact address.
    What can you do in these situations? I'm really getting sick of it.

    that is your mum trying to contact you :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Aquila wrote: »
    Oh i know what its like to be stalked,especially an unregistered person who without fail every day keeps a close eye on my account!

    thats the dole office checking to see if your really magda ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,299 ✭✭✭hairyprincess


    Whats the problem with calls during the night, you don't sleep anyway. Seriously, so damn selfish Ted :rolleyes: You should feel honoured that someone feels so strongly for you after hardly getting to know you!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    silly wrote: »
    Do you know the person or is it completely anonymous?
    I met them on a night out, met up for a while, then I decided to leave it at that, explained this to them on 3 separate occasion after being guilt tripped by text messages.
    I got messages asking why I hated them ect ect. I explained myself over and over that I didn't and it's just how I wanted things and they seemed to understand this, but then I start receiving the messages and phone calls again and again.
    To give you an example, I had 14 or 16 missed calls last Friday and a few text messages that I shudder to read.
    I sort of need to keep my phone number is the only thing.
    I presume that you don't answer any calls or reply to any txts?
    Sounds like a right nut job!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,044 ✭✭✭Wossack


    Try to become more stalkable so as to attract another stalker. Get another phone number for that stalker to ring, and eventually, when they both happen to phone at the same time, put them on to one another. They'll soon find they've got plenty in common, and should hopefully go off and live happily ever after.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,274 ✭✭✭_feedback_


    I met them on a night out, met up for a while, then I decided to leave it at that, explained this to them on 3 separate occasion after being guilt tripped by text messages.
    I got messages asking why I hated them ect ect. I explained myself over and over that I didn't and it's just how I wanted things and they seemed to understand this, but then I start receiving the messages and phone calls again and again.
    To give you an example, I had 14 or 16 missed calls last Friday and a few text messages that I shudder to read.
    I sort of need to keep my phone number is the only thing.

    Janey mack. Have you asked your phone service provider if there is anything they can do?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,633 ✭✭✭Feeona


    I met them on a night out, met up for a while, then I decided to leave it at that, explained this to them on 3 separate occasion after being guilt tripped by text messages.
    I got messages asking why I hated them ect ect. I explained myself over and over that I didn't and it's just how I wanted things and they seemed to understand this, but then I start receiving the messages and phone calls again and again.
    To give you an example, I had 14 or 16 missed calls last Friday and a few text messages that I shudder to read.
    I sort of need to keep my phone number is the only thing.

    Next time she rings/calls, tell her that you don't want to hear from her again and if you do, you'll be going to the gardaí with a list of all phonecalls and texts she's made.

    You don't need that cr*p.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    Post their number and we'll all call them!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,299 ✭✭✭✭later12


    I met them on a night out, met up for a while, then I decided to leave it at that, explained this to them on 3 separate occasion after being guilt tripped by text messages.
    I got messages asking why I hated them ect ect. I explained myself over and over that I didn't and it's just how I wanted things and they seemed to understand this, but then I start receiving the messages and phone calls again and again.
    To give you an example, I had 14 or 16 missed calls last Friday and a few text messages that I shudder to read.
    I sort of need to keep my phone number is the only thing.
    I have to say my first thought reading this thread was that you were probably taking it too seriously, and someone just had a little crush on you.

    But what you've described there is excessive.

    Does this person know you use boards? Are you identifiable on here? If so, this thread should really send off a strong message that you're not interested!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    silly wrote: »
    I presume that you don't answer any calls or reply to any txts?
    Sounds like a right nut job!!
    I stopped replying after I explained to them face to face the way things stood. Then I started slowly receiving the guilt trip texts slowly and ended up replying to them:rolleyes:
    There's a few specific very very weird things that they've done too but I don't want to post them in case they're on boards too!


    Does anyone know if there's a way to block calls and texts from a number?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 217 ✭✭Unavailable for Comment


    Send a text back now that simply reads, "Do not contact me again". Then get a diary and take note of every time they try to contact you so that you have exact figures of how often it occurs rather than estimates. Keep this for two weeks and if there is no letup bring it to the Gardai and ask that one of their members approach the person contacting you and ask them to stop.

    They'll tell you to stop wasting police time but at least when your mangled corpse is found, 5ex tortured to death, there'll be a limited pool of suspects which will be of enormous help to investigating officers.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,633 ✭✭✭Feeona


    There's a few specific very very weird things that they've done too

    Please....no.....NOT THE BUNNY!:eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,299 ✭✭✭✭later12



    Does anyone know if there's a way to block calls and texts from a number?
    Yes, your service provider can do this, if you contact them.

    But really Teddy, if the person is this committed to contacting you, I'd say buying a new sim card to call or text would be nothing to them...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,633 ✭✭✭Feeona


    Send a text back now that simply reads, "Do not contact me again". Then get a diary and take note of every time they try to contact you so that you have exact figures of how often it occurs rather than estimates. Keep this for two weeks and if there is no letup bring it to the Gardai and ask that one of their members approach the person contacting you and ask them to stop.

    They'll tell you to stop wasting police time

    I agree with all of that apart form the last part. I think it would be taken very seriously. Hassle is hassle, and the gardaí have more to be doing than laughing at members of the public over their concerns.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    I stopped replying after I explained to them face to face the way things stood. Then I started slowly receiving the guilt trip texts slowly and ended up replying to them:rolleyes:
    There's a few specific very very weird things that they've done too but I don't want to post them in case they're on boards too!


    Does anyone know if there's a way to block calls and texts from a number?

    what phone have you? you can block selected numbers.

    Is there any point if this person knows where you live?
    You need to report it if it is this serious, gardai will take it serious if there is loads of calls and txts.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,085 ✭✭✭meoklmrk91


    You can get your provider to block the number for you, I know because someone I know had issues with someone texting them wierd messages.

    They had to put it in writing, the number and why they wanted it blocked etc. and send it to the providers address, can take a while as you would imagine. Although things may have changed now as that was a couple of years ago.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    later10 wrote: »
    I have to say my first thought reading this thread was that you were probably taking it too seriously, and someone just had a little crush on you.

    But what you've described there is excessive.

    Does this person know you use boards? Are you identifiable on here? If so, this thread should really send off a strong message that you're not interested!
    I have no idea if they use boards tbh.
    I have no photos or anything on here, well except the odd one I've PMed to a few posters.
    The people who have their photos in that photo thread should be a bit worried!
    I recently ignored their facebook friend request.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Ellis Dee


    Assuming you know the number the text messages are originating from, use an anonymiser to send as many messages as you want - and as viciously abusive as you can think of - to the pest.:):)

    http://txtemnow.com/

    http://textforfree.net/

    http://www.sendanonymoussms.com/


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,731 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Is there more than one person or what's the reason you're using "them" instead of "he" or "she"?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam



    They'll tell you to stop wasting police time but at least when your mangled corpse is found, 5ex tortured to death, there'll be a limited pool of suspects which will be of enormous help to investigating officers.

    They will not tell him this, he has the calls and txts to prove it's happening.
    They will contact the person who is harassing him and if he is willing to make an official complaint they will prosecute.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    hondasam wrote: »
    what phone have you? you can block selected numbers.

    Is there any point if this person knows where you live?
    You need to report it if it is this serious, gardai will take it serious if there is loads of calls and txts.
    I have an iPhone 3G, the **** one! :pac:
    How do I do this. They never block their number when the ring me at least, not that I answer private numbers anyway!

    They know the area I'm from that's it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    I have an iPhone 3G, the **** one! :pac:
    How do I do this. They never block their number when the ring me at least, not that I answer private numbers anyway!

    They know the area I'm from that's it.

    You have the option to block this number. You can do this yourself.
    Ted they can follow you home, it's not that difficult to find where someone lives.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,737 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Definitely tell them that if they call you again you're going to the cops.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Has anyone ever had, well basically it's beginning to seem like stalking.
    I'm getting constant texts every day. They ring my phone time and time again and then text me asking why I never answer. I've explained to them 3 times now in person. I'm receiving very weird messages of poetry. I've been followed to a nightclub. It's getting beyond obsessive. I was woken up in the middle of the night last night at 4am with phone calls.
    I don't want to have to change my number but I might have to. Luckily they don't know my exact address.
    What can you do in these situations? I'm really getting sick of it.

    Well la de da.. look who is mr fancy with his lady stalker. Where's Panda's lady stalker? Why have I no stalker? :mad:



    On a serious note, women who don't understand you aren't interested are a pain in the hole :mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,299 ✭✭✭✭later12


    The people who have their photos in that photo thread should be a bit worried!
    Heh! Half the people in that thread were looking for stalkers, the other half were looking for stalkees:pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    Well la de da.. look who is mr fancy with his lady stalker. Where's Panda's lady stalker? Why have I no stalker? :mad:



    On a serious note, women who don't understand you aren't interested are a pain in the hole :mad:
    It's actually funny you say that! I'm going to send you a PM about something.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,274 ✭✭✭_feedback_


    Maybe ya should tell them that you are blocking the number, and say that if they try to contact you that you will report it straight away.

    If they are going that crazy texting etc. It's inevitable that they will get infuriated if your number stops working, and will try to contact you another way.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,180 ✭✭✭OhMSGlive


    Send them a text saying "Do not contact me again." If they persist, go to the Gardaí about it. This is harassment and they'll take you seriously about it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,044 ✭✭✭Wossack


    OhMSGlive wrote: »
    Send them a text saying "Do not contact me again." If they persist, go to the Gardaí about it. This is harassment and they'll take you seriously about it.

    Not if its a girl...

    They'll just say 'Niiiiceee', in a sleezy voice :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,199 ✭✭✭Shryke


    Could we get a little more info? Is it a girl that's shimmying up drain pipes and snaking around your house like MGS style?
    Was there ever a thing there, be honest.
    Are you getting a serious vibe off this person?
    And this will sound bad but are they hot? People that know or at least think they're attractive tend not to think they're acting as crazy with this type of behavior stuff. And if they are then well done, sort of.
    It's a bit of a tease to give some juice like this without the details. I'm sure you can keep in anonymous enough. Think about it this way, if they're on boards then they're probably already stalking your account.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,787 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Shryke wrote: »
    Could we get a little more info? Is it a girl that's shimmying up drain pipes and snaking around your house like MGS style?
    Was there ever a thing there, be honest.
    Are you getting a serious vibe off this person?
    And this will sound bad but are they hot? People that know or at least think they're attractive tend not to think they're acting as crazy with this type of behavior stuff. And if they are then well done, sort of.
    It's a bit of a tease to give some juice like this without the details. I'm sure you can keep in anonymous enough. Think about it this way, if they're on boards then they're probably already stalking your account.

    Yea, there's usually more to these things than the OP is letting on, no offence!

    Feisar: Jaysus yer one is annoying me again.

    Friend: That's cause you shagged her all weekend.

    Feisar: :o

    First they came for the socialists...



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 217 ✭✭Unavailable for Comment


    You should definitely change your number and tell everyone that you want to contact you again what your new number is so that your life can go on.

    Then, rather than letting your old number go to waste, text the stalker that you want them to leave you voice mails rather than inpersonal text messages and have your old phone number divert to a premium rate number that you own.

    Every so often send them a text asking for more details.

    Profit!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,579 ✭✭✭charlietheminxx


    I had this happen with an ex, but much worse.

    Your phone provider will block the number ( I had to block mobile and landline), block them from facebook etc, blacklist their email address.... anything you can think of.

    Make sure your friends are aware of whats going on in case they start following you. Be prepared, they may start messaging your friends / new people they suspect you are seeing.

    If all else fails (as it did for me, when the calls were coming off a new private number and a fake fb was set up to harass me), go to the Garda Station. I was lucky and had a lovely sympathetic gard. They'll advise you to keep a record of all incidents for a month - so maybe start that now anyway?

    I still get odd blip of contact (8 months after it started, 4 months since I reported it) but not as bad and very rarely.



    ......or you know, blast them with piss.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 116 ✭✭VagnerLove


    make sure you lock your windows.

    I was watching that film ENOUGH with J-Lo in it and ffs, that chap got in her gaf no bother. moved all around America and still couldn't get away from the mad bastard.

    you know what he said, OP?

    "if I can't have you, no one can!"

    he said that as he strangled her, OP.

    food for thought imo.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,633 ✭✭✭Feeona


    Wossack wrote: »
    Not if its a girl...

    They'll just say 'Niiiiceee', in a sleezy voice :(

    To be a member of the Gardaí, a pre-requisite is to act like Joey from friends :pac:

    On a serious note, I really hope you didn't get treated like that?


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