Engagement rings: Diamonds & Vanity?

Dolbert

What I really don't get is spending thousands extra for 'clarity and cut' - when you can't see the difference with the naked eye! Gives me visions of women inspecting your hand with a microscope :P Alls I know is mine is sparkly, and didn't cost the earth!

I know a woman who, upon hearing her sister's engagement ring was more expensive than hers, went out immediately to get it 'upgraded'. Lunacy.

Acoshla

Dolorous wrote: »

I know a woman who, upon hearing her sister's engagement ring was more expensive than hers, went out immediately to get it 'upgraded'. Lunacy.

Yeah a friend of mine got engaged, I was admiring her ring and she said that when she showed it to her best friend in the world, full of excitement, the friend counted the diamonds, said there were more in this new ring than her own ring which wasn't fair and how much had it cost :eek: My friend hadn't even noticed how many diamonds were in it (she thought there were was 1 either side of main one but there were 3) and was so upset at her friend's petty reaction.

baby and crumble

Dolorous wrote: »

I know a woman who, upon hearing her sister's engagement ring was more expensive than hers, went out immediately to get it 'upgraded'. Lunacy.

:eek:

Ah jaysis, people have more money than sense.

doriansmith

Dolorous wrote: »

I know a woman who, upon hearing her sister's engagement ring was more expensive than hers, went out immediately to get it 'upgraded'. Lunacy.

Wow. That's all kinds of crazy

Scarinae

Ugh :mad: I don’t have a problem with engagement rings, and maybe I’ll get one myself someday, but I do have a problem with engagement ring pissing contests. If someone asked me how much mine cost, I don’t know if I’d tell them to fcuk off or if I’d make something ridiculous up (one hundred BILLION dollars!!), but I certainly wouldn’t tell them. None of their business!

FouxDaFaFa

Fishie wrote: »

If someone asked me how much mine cost, I don’t know if I’d tell them to fcuk off or if I’d make something ridiculous up (one hundred BILLION dollars!!), but I certainly wouldn’t tell them. None of their business!

...do people actually ask how much the ring cost?

:eek:

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by these things...:pac:

Storminateacup

I love my rock. Yeah, it's diamond but it's not disgustingly garish. If someone asked me how much it cost, I'd tell them to mind their business. He got me engagement shoes too, which were far more my scene. Not really into wearing jewellery

Acoshla

I've been asked how much mine is worth, by about three crass people, I don't tell them, I'd be wary of giving out that info to anyone. The only people that know the worth of mine are me, my mother, my fiance, and the house insurance company!

I made him buy me engagement earrings...basically I wanted them for a party and thought he could buy them seeing as we got a free ring They are stunning earrings, and look like they cost hundreds...they were €20 in Accessorize.

shinikins

I've noticed the tendency to ask how much the ring is worth-incredibly vulgar IMO. If I were newly engaged and asked that question, it would be a polite eff off answer in return. I couldn't care less if a weeks wages or a months was spent on it, as long as i liked it, and I could wear it for the rest of my life. Diamonds I'm not very fond of, so I think I would prefed another gemstone, amethyst is my birthstone so that would be one choice, or sapphire, maybe emerald.

Ickle Magoo

We were poor struggling students when we got engaged - and I got an antique ring with small diamonds set in the band...think it cost a couple of hundred quid - I think we actually spent more on the party that followed than the ring! :pac:

It doesn't go with my thick band wedding ring so it now sits pride of place on my dresser. Funnily enough we spent much more time and expense on our wedding bands than the engagement ring.

Neyite

Storminateacup wrote: »

He got me engagement shoes too, which were far more my scene. Not really into wearing jewellery

mmmmm....Engagement shoes... I like the way you think! Much more up my street.

Diamonds have only really caught on since the latter half of the last century (since the famous 'diamonds are a girl's best friend' thing). Before then coloured stones were most in favour because they were more decorative.
My mam's engagement right has two emeralds and a blue sapphire and it's gorgeous. Diamonds are most definitely NOT a must when it comes to rings. Your engagement ring should be something YOU like, made from a stone that means something to YOU. If you don't want diamonds, don't have diamonds, and make sure people know it.

CaliforniaDream

magentas wrote: »

Jeez relax, maybe you should have a look at my original post again. My whole point is that women shouldn't be judged for not wearing a diamond but most women would be snide about it.
Why then do you think anyone here is judging someone else for wearing one? That'd be pretty hypocritical. Show me where I made any reference to any such opinion? I didn't.

Show me where I said my post was aimed at you?

Three phrases that have been said in this thread:
Status symbol
Waste of money
Instead of buying something useful.

Are you telling me there's no judgement here? And since you said one of these things, yes I think you're being judgmental.

I just want to know who everyone is friends with because I don't know anyone that's asked about price of ring or offered the information. My reality is that most people don't care. A nice ring is a nice ring.

chickenbutt

CaliforniaDream wrote: »

Show me where I said my post was aimed at you?

Three phrases that have been said in this thread:
Status symbol
Waste of money
Instead of buying something useful.

Are you telling me there's no judgement here? And since you said one of these things, yes I think you're being judgmental.

I just want to know who everyone is friends with because I don't know anyone that's asked about price of ring or offered the information. My reality is that most people don't care. A nice ring is a nice ring.

Perhaps you may be confusing judgment with personal opinion? It's not like anyone is saying if you have a diamond ring you are a horrible person!

Anyway, so what? It seems like no matter what a person does, ring or no ring, diamond or no diamond, they're probably going to be judged by someone. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Whatever floats your boat, go for it and no one should be nosing into how much it cost and where did you get it, etc., that's just rude! Appreciate the beauty, congratulate and move on! I know I said my sister in law's ring was "a waste of money" and that I personally would rather buy something useful, but hey, to some people that ring means a lot to them and for her it is her prize possession. And while I think overly diamond-y rings are tacky, she can pull it off really well! I know I couldn't do that everyday.

And yes, to some people the ring IS a status symbol and DO care a lot about the money spent. Shock! People are judgmental. Girls can be especially about this sort of thing. Other people don't care so much.

Chinafoot

magentas wrote: »

My whole point is that women shouldn't be judged for not wearing a diamond but most women would be snide about it.

How do you know most women would be snide about it? I have never encountered anyone who has been snide about someone not having a diamond engagement ring. Now perhaps some women would be because afterall, there are plenty of snide people in the world, but I think it's rather presumptuous (and a little offensive) for you to say that most women would be snide.

I don't think it has anything to do with status or vanity (and I'm sorry, but I tend to agree with the poster that said you are being judgmental about people who have diamond rings). Personally I think it is down to decades of marketing being drummed into society telling us that engagement = diamonds. To move away from that is to move away from "the norm" which surprises some people.

lazygal

I have a sapphire ring. I was never into diamonds. It was my husband who suggested we look at rings (before we got engaged) and he very much wanted me to have one. He is very good at buying pieces of jewellry I like and still likes getting me things.

People do comment if you don't have a diamond. I got a few comments like "Is that a costume ring" "is it a temporary ring until you get the real thing". TBH most people fall for the deBeers marketing spin hook line and sinker so I'm happy to be different and wear something that I love, not what the marketing blurb tells me I should have.

ElleEm

FouxDaFaFa wrote: »

...do people actually ask how much the ring cost?

:eek:
:

I've actually been voluntarily told the price of a few engagement rings. Its really embarrassing trying to come up with a response to "my fiance spent €X on my ring"!!!

Posy

I always thought that in the unlikely event that I got engaged, I'd have a diamond solitaire, but it'd have to be white gold or silver - I don't wear gold.
But if I think of a crazy expensive ring, to me it would be a couple of hundred euro, I can't even fathom spending more than that on a ring, crazy! :eek:

I remember Del in 'Only Fools and Horses' proposing to a girl- "I remember you said you like solitaires so I got you a cluster of them."

Posy

ElleEm wrote: »

Its really embarrassing trying to come up with a response to "my fiance spent €X on my ring"!!!

I can't think of anything that's not filthy.

I'd like a feck off diamond ring. Not necessarily for an engagement.
Not because of status, marketing ploys or social expectation.
I just love the way they twinkle at you.

I have also never heard a bad word uttered about someones engagement ring.

Acoshla

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'd like a feck off diamond ring. Not necessarily for an engagement.
Not because of status, marketing ploys or social expectation.
I just love the way they twinkle at you.

I have been known to sit in meetings in hotels with great spotlights moving my hand and oohing and ahhing

coffee_cake

ElleEm wrote: »

I've actually been voluntarily told the price of a few engagement rings. Its really embarrassing trying to come up with a response to "my fiance spent €X on my ring"!!!

"pity he didn't use the money to buy any taste"

ah no

i think i'd be saying "oh right" or "that's nice"...

mariaalice

I were very little jewelry and when I got engaged ( for the second time ) I started off not wanting a typical engagement ring but my partner wanted get me a diamond ring so I got one but I did insist that it wasn't an expensive one, Id be afraid to have an expensive ring in case id lose it, id never get over the guilt!!!

The ring from my first marriage I gave to my oldest daughter.

Ilyana

I think if a woman wants a diamond ring and can afford it, that's her choice. Having said that, spending crazy money on it for the sake of having a 'rock' is a bit daft IMO, but each to their own!

If I were getting engaged, I'd like something rather vintage looking. Diamond, sapphire, ruby, even topaz or something more unusual is fine with me once it's in a nice setting and suits my hand. I just wouldn't want it to cost more than my (imaginary) finance and I could afford, and I'd buy him something he wanted in return. It's not fair that the woman gets all the bling at her fiance's expense :pac:

John Mason

magentas wrote: »

Jeez relax, maybe you should have a look at my original post again. My whole point is that women shouldn't be judged for not wearing a diamond but most women would be snide about it.

errr................what's that now

i got engaged a few weeks ago and my ring isnt a diamond and i havent had one single sniddy comment.

if fact, i have had random strangers in shops / restaurants make comments about how stunning it is.

Das Kitty

I love my diamond engagement ring, even moreso now that it's all scratched and worn and loved. I wear it every day.

Love my wedding ring more though.

carolinespring

Das Kitty wrote: »

I love my diamond engagement ring, even moreso now that it's all scratched and worn and loved. I wear it every day.

Love my wedding ring more though.

I lost my engagement ring a few years ago and was heartbroken. When the insurancce paid up my husband really wanted me to replace the ring and we did but I never felt the same about the new ring and hardly ever wear it. We should have blown the money on a holiday of a life time.

My wedding ring means the world to me and I find myself looking at it everyday and smiling. Das, you are so right, the more worn it is the more loved it is!!

The Cool

I totally agree that it's madness, the money some people think they have to spend on an engagement ring!! Absolutely scandalous. If my fella was gonna spend a ridiculous amount of money as an engagement token, I really think I'd rather it spent on a deposit on our first home, would find that much more romantic!
Also - everyone who knows me knows that I am THE clumsiest person ever to grace this planet, so I would be terrified to own something that expensive. Can imagine my friends putting down bets on how long it takes me to lose it.
I do like the coloured stones though - I love emeralds, garnets and particularly sapphires. His birthstone is amethyst too. My mum lost her engagement ring and my dad replaced it with a (cheap!!) sapphire ring, and it is stunning. It's just really special.

Silverfish

Well, my engagement ring is a diamond solitaire, I don't think (or didn't think anyway) that it was a vanity thing, I just liked the look of it.
I've had a few digs about it alright, "Why would you bother with an engagement ring, would you not be better off spending the money on X, Y or Z"

I just like wearing something that I can look at on my finger when I'm away from him - at work, or when he's gone to the loo :pac: - that reminds me that I'm so lucky to have him, and that -yay! - we're both committed to this.

Likewise I know people who didn't bother with a ring, and that's cool too, that's their thing, and I would never be so insensitive as to comment on anything like that, it could be any reason.

It seems that whether you have one or not, someone somewhere will disagree with you about it, the only thing you can do is shrug and say "okay!:)"

Acoshla

My friend's boyfriend is adamant he'll spend 3 months wages on her engagement ring, about €40,000. He will get her the biggest showiest diamond that he can buy for that much, he'll want everyone to know just how much he spent because, and I quote, "The more you spend on someone the more you love them".