Funny boat pics,videos and jokes.

fergal.b

The Affordable Boat Act http://www.richmondteaparty.com/the-affordable-boat-act/


The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled “The Affordable Boat Act” declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat by April, 2014. These ‘affordable’ boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or repair costs.

This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an ‘affordable’ boat of their own, because everyone is ‘entitled’ to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive four ‘free’ life jackets (does not include monthly usage fees).

In order to make sure everyone purchases an ‘affordable boat,’ the cost of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain. But, to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boat(s) to party on until they turn 27, after which date they must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can’t). If you don’t want or don’t need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can’t afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment. If you cannot (or don’t want to) purchase an ‘affordable boat’ from a private business, you can buy a starter boat from the U. S. government ‘affordable boat exchange.’ Such a boat will have the basic necessities (hull, oars or paddles) and will only cost ‘slightly more’ than a similar boat purchased from a private business. Plus, since your tax dollars will subsidize the purchase of a boat from the U. S. government’s ‘affordable boat exchange,’ it will appear that you are getting a good deal.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities, or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Neither age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn’t know the difference between the port side, starboard side, or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including when, where, how often, and for what purposes you can use your boat, along with how many people can ride your boat. The board will also determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat, and will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories (like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so … it’s only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers, and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

(From anonymous post, too good to pass up):D







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fergal.b

How about this for my microboat should push it along nicely

breghall

tasty...i wonder that the slip % on that is

fergal.b

Step onboard in style

fergal.b

My wife was so shocked when I said I was going to make the bed

Tabnabs

Massive floods causing chaos? Time to play...

fergal.b

If you can't bring mohammed to the mountain bring the mountain to mohammed

fergal.b

I guess sailing has some good points :P

fergal.b

JohnCleary

^^ Queen Anne's Battery Marina, Plymouth.... gas altogether

Steve

Darwin was right, who knew...

fergal.b

Plastic boat

fergal.b

fergal.b

Make sure your Narrow boat is narrow Full story here http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2286007/Narrowboat-wedged-on-canal-lock.html Ooh Don't like the wording of that link :eek:

pedroeibar1

fergal.b wrote: »

Make sure your Narrow boat is narrow

From the article:

He said: "...... A little ridge of brickwork that's moved over 200 years was enough to catch it. Luckily, nobody was hurt." He praised the lockkeeper who he said had given help along with bacon sandwiches and cups of tea.

They knew how to make bricks in those days. Personally I’d forgo the bacon buttie in favour of a Kango hammer! Bet there were lots of other bricks happening too!

fergal.b

HeidiHeidi

:eek:

I'm not sure which I'd be more worried about - the car or the boat!

(or the car travelling behind when the boat falls out of the car)

fergal.b wrote: »

neris

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmWZ8LlA58o

pedroeibar1

My type of skipper! 'Ok, forward for the gybe' NOTHING that happens behind is important, he was concentrating on up FRONT.
Great to see the Howth 17, beautiful craft. Fetching across on starboard I bet he caused a few problems

fergal.b

Living life on the edge :eek:

fergal.b

One last trip. Full story http://www.wlox.com/story/24464811/pa-outdoorsman-78-taken-to-grave-in-motor-boat?utm_content=bufferbbc5a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

fergal.b

Photo and story from http://www.kitsapreport.com/mega-yacht-crashes-into-point-no-point-lighthouse/



HANSVILLE–A terrifying scene at the Point-no-Point State Park unraveled late Thursday afternoon as the iconic lighthouse perched on the northernmost tip of the Kitsap Peninsula unexpectedly collided with a 126 foot mega yacht just before 3 pm.

Initial reports from bystanders and park officials claim that the Point-no-Point Lighthouse made a series of irrational and ill-timed maneuvers in the events leading up to the crash, subsequently obstructing the unsuspecting oncoming boat. One onlooker described the actions of the lighthouse operator as taunting, claiming that the operator “was waving her hands up and down and screaming frantically in an aggressive manner just before the wreck”.

The Zune is a 16000 ton vessel owned by former Microsoft executive and billionaire Paul Allen. Built in 2007, The Zune was designed to withstand heavy abuse from man made stationary objects. Steven Johnson, captain of the Zune and 15 year maritime veteran said “It came out of nowhere. We are just lucky that no one got injured. There was an obvious error on behalf of the lighthouse operator.”

Lighthouse Operator Sharon Jones did not give a statement to the press, and was reportedly uncooperative with police and coastguard officials. She is under investigation for negligence and was placed on administrative leave immediately.

Paul Allen informed KR reporters that while he is grateful that no one on board was injured, he will be seeking compensation from Kitsap County for the damages to his boat.





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neris

"the Point-no-Point Lighthouse made a series of irrational and ill-timed maneuvers in the events leading up to the crash"

How does a lighthouse collide with a boat? Lighthouses dont manuver or just appear out of no where. Both paper & electronic charts have marks & lighthouses marked on them

fergal.b

Reminds me of this

neris

pedroeibar1 wrote: »

My type of skipper! 'Ok, forward for the gybe' NOTHING that happens behind is important, he was concentrating on up FRONT.
Great to see the Howth 17, beautiful craft. Fetching across on starboard I bet he caused a few problems

Howth 17s another great boat for loosing rigs in the last few years. One of them managed to loose its rig while tied up on its mooring last year.

tricky D

neris wrote: »

"the Point-no-Point Lighthouse made a series of irrational and ill-timed maneuvers in the events leading up to the crash"

How does a lighthouse collide with a boat? Lighthouses dont manuver or just appear out of no where. Both paper & electronic charts have marks & lighthouses marked on them

It's happens easily when you let yourself get distracted by the wet tee shirt contest in the local nursing home.
http://www.kitsapreport.com/wet-t-shirt-tuesday-at-local-nursing-home/

neris

fergal.b wrote: »

Reminds me of this

Was thinking of that video as i was typing my previous message. Brilliant vid

Steve

tricky D wrote: »

It's happens easily when you let yourself get distracted by the wet tee shirt contest in the local nursing home.
http://www.kitsapreport.com/wet-t-shirt-tuesday-at-local-nursing-home/

That story made me feel like:

fergal.b

That's some parking

the beer revolu

fergal.b wrote: »

That's some parking

The death knell sounded on the horn is quite sad.
Fine ship.