How to add spoiler tags, edit posts, add images etc. How to - a user's guide to the new version of Boards
Mods please check the Moderators Group for an important update on Mod tools. If you do not have access to the group, please PM Niamh. Thanks!

Funny boat pics,videos and jokes.



  • Here is a step back in time "1967 magazine practical boat owner" download to read

  • My friend bought his first boat and was excited about getting it in the water and taking it for a spin. He was a complete novice and rang to say that he was having bother launching the boat. I told him to keep putting the boat into the water until the water was up over the wheels of the trailer and the boat should just float off.

    This is what he sent me…..

    Have you been giving anyone else advice on launching boats :D:D

  • Old Wooden Boats

    I steered my boat to the pier at Dingle
    There I met an old man long home from the sea.
    He caught my rope and with eyes sun-crinkled
    he looked first at my boat and then at me.

    And he told me “Son, I’ve fished these waters
    for 80-years or more both man and boy.
    And I was brave , but you’re much bolder
    to dare to go to sea in that rich man’s toy.
    Because that boat you stake your life on
    it’s fibreglass and plastic stem to stern.
    It bears the beaten soul of its’ factory builder
    for it’s never known the love of a craftsman’s hand.

    But old wooden boats scold like old mothers
    when you drive them through a west of Ireland sea.
    Old wooden boats are like no other
    for they fight for the lives of fools like you and me.

    He said oaken planks will groan and whimper
    and will warn you when its time to feel afraid.
    While a plastic hull will crack and splinter
    and with no warning sweep you to an early grave.

    And when the Northern Star leans on your shoulder
    and it’s icy anger builds a troubled sea.
    Then put your faith in God Almighty
    and in the secrets that the winds once told the trees”.

    I caught the tide in early morning
    In the dawn I watched the Blaskets fall astern
    and the wind recalled the old man’s warning
    and it asked me “had I listened, had I learned”?
    Mickey MacConnell Here's the vid url][/url

  • :D


    Boat Found in the Shannon on 17/06/12- goes by the name of Justine.

    Badly damaged and numerous used beer and spirits bottles on board.

    Fire extinguisher no longer full.

    Three drunken young fella's seen running from the scene. Two gingers and a blond chap.

    Reward offered for any further information.

  • Finally got a dry day and set about painting some pigmented resin over some bow deck areas showing wear. I did it with the boat half covered to keep dust etc off the fresh new surface.
    What I didn't reckon on in June was a huge low pressure system flying in dropping the temperature so much the resin took more than 24 hours to harden. Meanwhile the overnight accompanying gale blasted some nearby evergreens. Some fronds got under the cover into the still tacky resin and seemed to act like a catalyst as it set hard just fine then... :mad:

  • Advertisement

  • A great shot of 2000 canoes in a effort to beat the world record.


  • A bit of old school powerboat racing "when men where men" none of those soft bouncy seats here :D


  • London to Monaco in open speedboats with only paper charts and no GPS :eek:

    I wonder did Jaffa's nav ever get any other work after that race....:D

    Mad looking at the boats in all those ports with no-one around, when you see the hoopla laid on for the Volvo boats.

    La Grande Motte has just been added to my bucket list :D

    Brilliant video - thanks for posting!!!
    fergal.b wrote: »
    A bit of old school powerboat racing "when men where men" none of those soft bouncy seats here :D


  • Glad you liked it, here is another one or two from the first round Britain race in 1969. I think even Dr pepper's new boat comes to the rescue at the end of the first one:D

  • Anyone else collect boat books :D

  • Advertisement

  • submarine.jpg

  • My next project if this rain keeps up :D


  • wanted_good_woman_sign.JPG

  • And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark." And in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark, "Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints.

    "Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have the Ark completed, or learn to swim for a very long time."

    Six months passed, the skies clouded up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "Where is the Ark?" "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system.

    "Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard. I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. Then I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I had to convince the Fish and Wildlife that I needed the wood to save the owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls. So, no owls.

    "The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now we have sixteen carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls. Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind.

    "Just when I got that suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being. Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. So I sent them a globe. Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I'm supposed to hire.

    "The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country. And I just got a notice from the state about owing them some kind of use tax. I really don't think I can finish the Ark for at least another five years," Noah wailed.

    The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled, "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked hopefully. "No," said the Lord sadly, "The government already has!"

  • how-to-advertise-to-men-and-women.png

  • If your fixing down a new floor in your boat make sure the screws are the right length first :D :eek:


  • fergal.b wrote: »
    If your fixing down a new floor in your boat make sure the screws are the right length first :D :eek:


    that is jaw droppingly stupid...

  • Saw this on FB

    Donaghadee RNLI were requested to launch at 11.10am this morning to go to the aid of a car and trailer which had rolled backwards down the slipway opposite the Sailing Club and tipped over into the sea.

    The car had quickly filled with water and at that time it was not known if there was anyone in the vehicle. Coxswain Phillip McNamara and two lifeboat crew members quickly launched the lifeboat boarding boat and within minutes were on the scene, and were able to ascertain that no one was in the car and the occupants were safe on shore.

  • Fishing made easy :D

  • Advertisement

  • just saw this now, brought a smile to my face at least.

  • It may look and sound funny but could have easily been a different story, just goes to show how important it is to ware your kill cord.

  • Poor chap :D

  • why-i-want-to-be-a-captain.jpg

  • Brilliant!

    Where do you find them??
    fergal.b wrote: »

  • classic :D

  • I have my pumpkin carved, Happy Halloween :D


  • Advertisement

  • fergal.b wrote: »
    classic :D

    they dont make them like they used to!:D:D