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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!
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Hi, Ive had depression and anxiety for the last number of years, and slipped into addiction in the last few years. I've just started a blog at the following address http://depressedaddicted.blogspot.ie/ . I find reading this thread helps me a lot
Very good blog and very honest.
Self will run riot . .
I relate to your blog and I imagine many people here can relate to that horrible sense of being out of control that is not a feeling exclusive to addicts of sorts.
Addiction is the continued repetition of a behavior despite adverse consequences.
I think the word addiction can frighten people (what will people think?!) but it effects far more people then is widely acknowledged. Every smoker is addicted to nicotine, but it is publically accepted because its widespread. Yet people generally relate addiction to alcohol or drugs etc. People can be addicted to food or even computer games among plenty of other "socially accepted" addictions that seldom get discussed.
People think - "sure take away the drink, drug, casino, etc, then the person will be fine" but it completely ignores the core concept that the person has certain mannerisms that will forever make their lives different from the average person who has no problems giving up things that are having negative effects on their lives.
You said it in your blog, you take away the alcohol, you turn to gambling. Move to a country with no drinking or casinos and you may become addicted to a certain food (usually sugar is required to replace lost sugars from alcohol intake).
From my experience, going for a walk or making healthy positive small changes most certainly help. However getting help to learn how to change bad habits (emotionally and physically) has been vitally important in my progression. I still get down and I don't always have the ability to drag myself out of myself. I find that its easy to think that I am cured when I am feeling great and its hard to see a solution when I am feeling sh*tty, this is why its important for me to have a network of people (friends + Professional support) with whom I can turn to.
I call it "stinkin thinkin" when I start getting negative thoughts that I cant switch off. Usually when I feel this horrible, my instinct is to shut myself up from as much public interaction as possible. I may be still in the house with my wife, but I go into myself so much I might aswell be in Australia. We call that my "zombie mode" and my wife usually asks if I am ok (to help me snap out) or in some way she lets me know that she knows Im "out" and that shes here for me when I get back!0 -
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I didn't realise depression caused lack of energy too . I may have had this for quite a while way more than I've realised I've always just been thinking I was lazy or a bad procrastinator or bad at studying not the best at concentrating always too tired or unmotivated. I've never been able to fix it as much as I try I just end up falling back into the same pattern an losing motivation then having to try and get it back again. I went to the doctors a couple years ago before for tiredness all the tests came back fine ,I may have been asked if I was depressed or sad I said no as I haven't been I was under the impression it meant you feel sad but after reading so much about it an reading about other situations like having trouble making friends keeping them is hard for me . I end up losing contact or I make effort for a while then I can't be bothered an end up not really seeing anybody or sometimes people do try some of those times I'm just not in a mood to go out just want to stay in not see anybody, then I forget to rearrange and I keep telling myself I should call/text this person I've just not bothered going about doing it an constantly put it off in the end it doesn't happen an we just drift apart.
I make an effort to go to the gym a lot that seems the be the only thing that keeps me motivated as I'm always happy and positive after if I don't go I seem to feel depressed
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looking_around wrote: »I found the best thing was on the day or day before to make a plan. I'll pick out things during the week that I want to address. Or maybe a goal, or past memory.
Yeah I try to do this too but usually get distracted talking about random waffle. She even commented last week when she said that I was improving because we have general conversations.
Im going to start writing a journal, or even start typing a word document every night or whenever I feel in a spin
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Really appreciated.The One Doctor wrote: »Tell her. I work as a part-time counselor. My clients feedback is incredibly valuable. I need to know how they feel and know that the techniques and strategies I'm giving them is helping improve their life. It's very important that you be perfectly honest with the person you're paying a fair chunk of your income to help you change.
Thanks, she's incredibly nice so I cant find any fault with her. The things that im not being honest with her about are pretty out-there I suppose. I know I can tell her anything, and when I first started going to her when I was all over the place and a crying mess I did just that. Now that the medication has kicked in I suppose I feel flat? if thats even the right word?
Thanks for the advice, i'll force myself to be honest when I see her next week.Mysteriouschic wrote: »You could try writing down everything that you want to say if you express it better so she'll read it and then talk about it. I did that the last time I saw mine as I know I find it hard to express myself when talking and don't express it the same way as I'd like to not finding the right words to say .I found it was easier to write it down then hand the sheet to her to read as soon as you get in.
Thats a great idea, I might try that, at least then when I hand her the piece of paper theres no going back and she'll see what's going on. Thanks for replying
I hope everyone's ok tonight. I can hear the rain banging off the roof. Im so appreciative of that-having a cosy house to call home. And such a home it is.0 -
Chiquitita wrote: »Yeah I try to do this too but usually get distracted talking about random waffle. She even commented last week when she said that I was improving because we have general conversations.
Im going to start writing a journal, or even start typing a word document every night or whenever I feel in a spin
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Really appreciated.
Thanks, she's incredibly nice so I cant find any fault with her. The things that im not being honest with her about are pretty out-there I suppose. I know I can tell her anything, and when I first started going to her when I was all over the place and a crying mess I did just that. Now that the medication has kicked in I suppose I feel flat? if thats even the right word?
Thanks for the advice, i'll force myself to be honest when I see her next week.
Thats a great idea, I might try that, at least then when I hand her the piece of paper theres no going back and she'll see what's going on. Thanks for replying
I hope everyone's ok tonight. I can hear the rain banging off the roof. Im so appreciative of that-having a cosy house to call home. And such a home it is.
This happened to me, except I was using random chitchat as a means to avoid actually getting into issues. I didn't even realise I was doing it - like you, I felt "flat" from medication. The best thing to do is exactly what other posters have said - when you feel down, or just not right, write it down. Once those feelings are down on paper, it's harder to just brush them aside in counselling and think "oh well I don't feel like that now so I won't mention it", because how you felt in that moment is there in print.
I am very uncomfortable with writing my feelings down, but you do get more used to it. It's very helpful to read them out in counselling then so you can start working on those feelings. Once your counsellor knows about it, she can help you. Also, maybe try to make a conscious effort to stop the general chit chat - and say it to her too. Maybe things happen every week that you need to talk about, but try to limit it to five/ten minutes of the conversation.
Best of luck with it - it's a tough process, but we'll get there in the end!0 -
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(Here comes an essay!)
Meds work for my mam, she couldn't be without them and will be on them long term. And they work very well for her.
My partner on the otherhand went through a shocking time trying a lot of different meds and strengths to find what works.
With hindsight, this was probably to be expected as everyone is different, problems/afflictions are different and the environment they live/work in is different.
But even with knowing that it may take weeks for it to work - he still found it very hard when everything wasn't fixed. His thought processes and feelings were still there, but his desire to act on them was only blunted.
We tried Lexapro, Effexor, Prozac and a host of others at various strengths with various results. Throughout, it was coupled with therapy and eventually the doctors agreed that therapy was the only thing that was working and stopped the meds.
The withdrawals are also a battle, and as someone mentioned previously, taking time off from work or life in general to get through it is a great idea. Duvet days, lots of sleep, fizzy drinks, walks in quiet/natural surroundings all helped. And it is nice to have someone to look after you if that's available.
The most important thing is to be honest with your doctor/therapist and communicate any changes in dose or brand if you get them. If you are uncomfortable with your doctor or you feel they aren't listening then seek another doctor.
It is also advisable to confide in someone you trust that sees you on a regular basis and has a baseline for your usual behaviour. I know thats not possible for everyone but if it's there use it. Let them know you are beginning meds/new meds.
My partners life was literally in the hands of these people.
Were so blessed to have an amazing doctor and an amazing therapist who actually took the time to communicate with each other and also rang us at times to check in. The mental health service centre we were referred to on the otherhand was ridiculous.
The psychiatrist there on our first meeting decided to greatly increase the dose for the medication and gave us a prescription for that.
My partner was so numb after a while that he began self harming. Then with no feelings at all (including guilt, love, pain, hope) decided it would be just fine to kill himself.
So we went back to the family doctor. Who was shocked. There was no communication between there and our doctor, so had no idea what was going on or that the meds were upped.
Our second visit with the mental health place was after a suicide attempt and we were told we had to go through this place to get into hospital.
They interviewed us separately on arrival which was distressing. They told him to cop on. That I shouldn't be out of work for this and it was ridiculous. That I would leave him if he continued this behaviour (couldn't actually believe that they said that) and that his diagnosis there and then was that he was bi-polar. And to go home!
So I did bring him home, put him into bed and rang his doctor and therapist. I told them everything the psychiatrist had said and they were both shocked and absolutely both of the opinion that bi-polar was the wrong diagnosis. And to just go straight to A and E in Waterford while they made calls.
The family doctor and the therapist are the only reason he is alive and on the road to recovery. Minus all meds as it turned out that wasnt the solution.
So if you do begin them - be aware that it is a journey. It might not work straight away and it might be worse before it gets better.
Being honest and up to date with your doctor or therapist is crucial and anyone else who can support you too.
@PawneeRanger:
My partner was also completely defeated when told he had to go back on meds last year and felt he was going backwards.
I feel that this will be in our lives forever - and that's ok. But, much like getting a bad flu, or a serious bug, if medication works for you - use it to get better as and when [edited: directed by your doctor of course ]. 0
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