LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Drumpot

Gongoozler wrote: »

I've been thinking lately about the whole leaving things in the past. And it's great and all, as an idea. I'd like to be able to do that. My mam is a source of anger for me. I've a lot of anger over her death, and I know what's behind it all. But the thought of letting the anger go doesn't sit well with me, because I suppose it's been all I have to think about when it comes to her. And I don't want to move on, because I'll end up forgetting about her. I know that seems stupid, but I suppose I mean it's hard to think of the good because it's always something that reminds me of the bad, and if I'm meant to be moving on from that, I dunno how to do that.

Maybe it's something that CBT will help with.

For me, I now know that just because I am justified feeling the way I do about an action somebody/something did against me, it doesn't mean I should allow myself to "enjoy" and "replay" this hatred/anger over and over in my head.

I have learned that holding onto certain things/people/actions I hate only serves to hurt me so much more then the original thing they did to make me hate them in the first place. I re-live the pain/anger over and over, each time imagining how I would tell that person/thing off in my mind. How I would deal with the same situation in a completely different way.

This was a very bad habit I learned growing up and in my case CBT helped me to let some of this go. To not be as concerned with things that I was agonising over from the past.

stop animal cruelty

I just wanna say I havent had a great few days, been stuck in the house glued to the lap. lv a week off atm and dreading it, but yesterday l made a deal il go for a walk/jog/workout everyday.

Today l challeneged myself to walk & jog 2miles in an hour, it was such a fresh crisp morning l dreaded the thought of wasting the morning indoors, depressed looking out the window, wasting another day inside. Went out at 10...jogged til l was out of breath, then l gave myself a break by walking.....throughout that hour l praised myself, l praised myself because l have finally decided l dont give a **** if my local community see my jogging, sweaty, red faced out of breath...its something l am doing good for my mind and body. Breathing in the freah air into my lungs, clearly my head, getting my heart racing, blood pumped...it felt so good cause l was changelling myself and not giving a **** cause l was thinking about me and how its gonna motative me some bit to get things done!

l know it doesnt cure all the problems, but a few hours like that most days is better than a few hours, sitting around the house, too scared/depressed to go outside, beating ourselves up...we need to push ourselves to have days like this....ya l prob will feel like ****e in the next few days, but at least l went out and did somethiing good for me, its all about little steps and keep going....l plan to keep this up and in time lm gonna be more fitter, lose weight and feel better about myself. l accept that l have good days and bad days, lm not looking for lifetime of happiness (it ain't possible!!) lm trying to help myself, get out there, face my fears, do the best l can to make me feel good about me....lm sick of looking back and saying "why didnt l just do this and that" thats my aim...give things a try and be able to look back and say at least l tryed.

I guess basically what lm trying to say is exercise DOES help...doesnt cure, it simply helps.

Call Me Jimmy

Really nice to read your post this morning

stop animal cruelty

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Really nice to read your post this morning

Ah thanks! l just wanted to put it out there its so **** sitting at home just looking out the window, hoping and wishing.....but just making that step to go out for a walk or run can be a great feeling, l just hope it will make someone go out and do the same, as l always hear how good it makes you feel.

lukesmom

Anybody got any good tips for insomnia??? I withdrawed from a drug that used to knock me out at night but I can't sleep at all even though I did a 2k walk at a very fast pace at about 5pm. Made sure no caffeine at night, went to bed wrecked at midnight but no joy so at 4am I took a sleeping tablet I had since last year. I'd rather not get addicted to these though so wondering if any of you have tips for getting asleep? I've to get up with three kids so can't sleep during day

Lightbulb Sun

lukesmom wrote: »

Anybody got any good tips for insomnia??? I withdrawed from a drug that used to knock me out at night but I can't sleep at all even though I did a 2k walk at a very fast pace at about 5pm. Made sure no caffeine at night, went to bed wrecked at midnight but no joy so at 4am I took a sleeping tablet I had since last year. I'd rather not get addicted to these though so wondering if any of you have tips for getting asleep? I've to get up with three kids so can't sleep during day

Knock off the internet and computer 2 hours before going to bed. It stimulates you and keeps your mind awake. Read a book instead.

whirlpool

lukesmom wrote: »

Anybody got any good tips for insomnia??? I withdrawed from a drug that used to knock me out at night but I can't sleep at all even though I did a 2k walk at a very fast pace at about 5pm. Made sure no caffeine at night, went to bed wrecked at midnight but no joy so at 4am I took a sleeping tablet I had since last year. I'd rather not get addicted to these though so wondering if any of you have tips for getting asleep? I've to get up with three kids so can't sleep during day

Double the distance you're walking? Maybe walk 5k instead? Because 2k wasn't enough to help you to sleep.

looking_around

Lightbulb Sun wrote: »

Knock off the internet and computer 2 hours before going to bed. It stimulates you and keeps your mind awake. Read a book instead.

This,
Switch to lower light if you can as well at night. A more dull/yellow light. Or meditate if you can 20-30min before bed.

Do you find you have too much energy at night? or it's thoughts that keep you up?

It will take a little while to adjust, try not to sleep in at mornings, or nap during the day.
Quit coffee entirely if you can, caffeine stays in your system for 48 hours.
Try and get to bed at the same time everyday. But don't stay tossing and turning, if you can't sleep, open up a book for 30min or and try again after.

Also things like lavender tea can be quite helpful for people.
Stay away from normal tea as well, as it has caffeine.

For myself, nothing has ever helped for insomnia outside of sleep aids. But good luck to you.

Lollipops23

Just back from my first Aware group session. Went really well, although I was a bit too scared to speak for most of it!

Defo going back next week, found just being in a room with people like me really therapeutic.

murria

Gongoozler wrote: »

I've been thinking lately about the whole leaving things in the past. And it's great and all, as an idea. I'd like to be able to do that. My mam is a source of anger for me. I've a lot of anger over her death, and I know what's behind it all. But the thought of letting the anger go doesn't sit well with me, because I suppose it's been all I have to think about when it comes to her. And I don't want to move on, because I'll end up forgetting about her. I know that seems stupid, but I suppose I mean it's hard to think of the good because it's always something that reminds me of the bad, and if I'm meant to be moving on from that, I dunno how to do that.

Maybe it's something that CBT will help with.

Gongoozler, I don't know the circumstances of your Mam's death or your relationship with her, but my Mam died when I was 20, a long time ago now. I kept her memory alive by remembering the "best times", for example, her sense of humour, her caring nature, her own struggles that she overcame in life. Pick and choose your good stuff, if there was bad stuff acknowledge that but accept the other stuff too, we are all only human.

Reiketsu

I went for an assessment for a job I had applied for this evening. It was all team building exercises and if you stood out you get invited for an interview tomorrow - they were to call you tonight. Well, my team were terrible and I have had no phone call. Annoyed and disappointed, on the verge of tears really. I can't handle any more disappointments like this. I'm trying to take steps to help my depression by trying to get work so I'm socialising etc but I'm getting nowhere no matter how hard I try.

Gleeso_Finglas

Fooking dreams are sooo real... ugh

Drumpot

Insomnia . .

I have seen this issue come up here and on the long term illness section.

I had awful insomnia in my teens and for as long as I can remember (now in my 30s).

I was advised:

- Read before going to bed
- Don't watch TV hours before settling down
- Get exercise earlier in the day so you are knackered before getting into bed
- Eat healthier and less before going to bed
- Make sure your room is clean or clutter free
- Go to bed earlier
- Other tips that I just cant remember

To be honest, these do help some people and they are good habits to have whether you have sleep issues or not, but they did not work for me. My insomnia issues were deep rooted and none of these things helped when I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling or with my pillow on my head desperately trying to get some sleep.

In short, if I was in a certain frame of mind, the only thing that could help me get asleep was sleeping tablets that knocked me out (and sometimes even they didn't work!).

Its gas because sometimes I forget the way things were because right now, if I only get 7 hours sleep I consider it a bad night sleep. It used to be the case that anything over 4 hours was acceptable!

In hindsight it sort of makes sense now. The single biggest trouble I had getting asleep was either switching off my thoughts and/or learning to relax and let go of any anxiety. I realised that much of my life I would distract myself because I didn't want to deal with things that upset me or I just didn't know how to deal with. Then when I get to bed and there's nothing to distract me, some of the things I needed to acknowledge and deal with on a daily basis (could be trivial things), were keeping me awake at night.

Not just that, its not like I was dealing with daily issues and then dealing with new ones the next day. I was mentally hoarding things that I would play over and over again in my head at different times.

I thought I was nuts and was afraid to say it to anybody for fear I would be locked up!

So I cant say for certain how I improved my sleeping issues, but I know dealing with emotional issues that I just couldn't properly digest played a huge role. I used to think if I got my sleeping sorted , then my emotional and mental health issues would sort themselves out. Turns out I was trying the tips (mentioned above) which were not dealing with the main issue.

It used to be the case that I would try and stay up as late as possible (well past 1am) to try and nacker myself out so by the time I would be going to bed I would just collapse!Now there are nights I am actually nearly excited about going asleep (sad I know !!!). I goto bed much earlier then I used to (try to be in bed by 11 most nights).

Its amazing how CBT has helped me change my perception on so many things. Originally I would of tried something (to help me sleep) and the only thing I would use to measure its success would be on whether or not I got a full nights sleep. Irrespective of whether or not it even helped a little bit, I would just dismiss it and not even give it a decent time to work (if it didn't work first night then its a failure!). I have learned (through meditation tapes) that its easy to get hung up thinking about where you want to be (in this case asleep for full night), instead of trying to stay focused working on the steps to get there.

I try not to value most things in life the way I used to. In work, with family, in success's, in failures because I used to have really bad habits that all linked into my depression, my lack of sleep, my anxiety and my general dislike of life . .

looking_around

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Fooking dreams are sooo real... ugh

Are you on anti-d's? That was a major side effect on being on SSRI's for me.

The main issue I had with it, was if they were more nightmare than dream. For this, 'thinking' good things before sleep, imaging positive things, fun etc. Like imaging picking flowers/flying/sitting out in the sun...just nice, peaceful 'place' in your mind. Would help encourage 'good' dreams.

If I did then have a bad dream, I would write about it the next day and change the way ended into something good. For example I often dreamt of being stabbed..and I used to imagine I'd be 'stabbed' but instead the knife would turn to jello and then, I'd be in a pool of jello and it'd be fun.
I now rarely have nightmares. And if I do, I can generally link it to thinking negative thoughts before bed.

Mam of 4

Drumpot wrote: »

Insomnia . .

I have seen this issue come up here and on the long term illness section.

I had awful insomnia in my teens and for as long as I can remember (now in my 30s).

I was advised:

- Read before going to bed
- Don't watch TV hours before settling down
- Get exercise earlier in the day so you are knackered before getting into bed
- Eat healthier and less before going to bed
- Make sure your room is clean or clutter free
- Go to bed earlier
- Other tips that I just cant remember

To be honest, these do help some people and they are good habits to have whether you have sleep issues or not, but they did not work for me. My insomnia issues were deep rooted and none of these things helped when I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling or with my pillow on my head desperately trying to get some sleep.

In short, if I was in a certain frame of mind, the only thing that could help me get asleep was sleeping tablets that knocked me out (and sometimes even they didn't work!).

Its gas because sometimes I forget the way things were because right now, if I only get 7 hours sleep I consider it a bad night sleep. It used to be the case that anything over 4 hours was acceptable!

In hindsight it sort of makes sense now. The single biggest trouble I had getting asleep was either switching off my thoughts and/or learning to relax and let go of any anxiety. I realised that much of my life I would distract myself because I didn't want to deal with things that upset me or I just didn't know how to deal with. Then when I get to bed and there's nothing to distract me, some of the things I needed to acknowledge and deal with on a daily basis (could be trivial things), were keeping me awake at night.

Not just that, its not like I was dealing with daily issues and then dealing with new ones the next day. I was mentally hoarding things that I would play over and over again in my head at different times.

I thought I was nuts and was afraid to say it to anybody for fear I would be locked up!

So I cant say for certain how I improved my sleeping issues, but I know dealing with emotional issues that I just couldn't properly digest played a huge role. I used to think if I got my sleeping sorted , then my emotional and mental health issues would sort themselves out. Turns out I was trying the tips (mentioned above) which were not dealing with the main issue.

It used to be the case that I would try and stay up as late as possible (well past 1am) to try and nacker myself out so by the time I would be going to bed I would just collapse!Now there are nights I am actually nearly excited about going asleep (sad I know !!!). I goto bed much earlier then I used to (try to be in bed by 11 most nights).

Its amazing how CBT has helped me change my perception on so many things. Originally I would of tried something (to help me sleep) and the only thing I would use to measure its success would be on whether or not I got a full nights sleep. Irrespective of whether or not it even helped a little bit, I would just dismiss it and not even give it a decent time to work (if it didn't work first night then its a failure!). I have learned (through meditation tapes) that its easy to get hung up thinking about where you want to be (in this case asleep for full night), instead of trying to stay focused working on the steps to get there.

I try not to value most things in life the way I used to. In work, with family, in success's, in failures because I used to have really bad habits that all linked into my depression, my lack of sleep, my anxiety and my general dislike of life . .

You could be my son writing this
He has started CBT , doing much better but the sleep is still a major issue, but no doubt he'll get some progress, no matter how big or small on it . I will get him to read what you've said, I kinda use this forum as a support group for myself and to try get some understanding of what he's going through.

Anyhow, I rambled Just really meant to say thank you for posting that , and hope each day gets a little easier, if not better, for everyone. Stay safe

whirlpool

I just need some general advice.

I went to my GP in December with a bad toothache. While there, he asked me how I was getting on, anxiety-wise. I said I was getting on fine, which was true. I've been on the same dose of an SSRI for the past 24 months, and I've been pretty stable that entire time.

He kind of blind-sided me next, because my mind was still on the throbbing pain in my tooth, and he said "Okay, lets start weaning. Take half the dose every other day for the next three months" and he proceeded to write me the appropriate prescription. I was very distracted and just thanked him, took the prescription and left.

For the first few weeks, I stayed on my usual full dose because I had other things going on and wasn't comfortable starting the weaning process without first taking some time for myself to think about it.

After a few weeks, I started to wean; it's now been about 4 weeks.

The side effects have included distressingly-vivid dreams, feeling breathless (including waking up in the middle of the night gasping for breath) slight panicking, ongoing mild anxiety, slight dizziness from time to time, and doom and gloom.

Are these side effects trying to tell me that the weaning is not going well? Or what should I be learning from them? I'm just not sure if I should be concerned about them or not, or trying some things to help, or should I even be continuing with this weaning process.

Lightbulb Sun

whirlpool wrote: »

I just need some general advice.

I went to my GP in December with a bad toothache. While there, he asked me how I was getting on, anxiety-wise. I said I was getting on fine, which was true. I've been on the same dose of an SSRI for the past 24 months, and I've been pretty stable that entire time.

He kind of blind-sided me next, because my mind was still on the throbbing pain in my tooth, and he said "Okay, lets start weaning. Take half the dose every other day for the next three months" and he proceeded to write me the appropriate prescription. I was very distracted and just thanked him, took the prescription and left.

For the first few weeks, I stayed on my usual full dose because I had other things going on and wasn't comfortable starting the weaning process without first taking some time for myself to think about it.

After a few weeks, I started to wean; it's now been about 4 weeks.

The side effects have included distressingly-vivid dreams, feeling breathless (including waking up in the middle of the night gasping for breath) slight panicking, ongoing mild anxiety, slight dizziness from time to time, and doom and gloom.

Are these side effects trying to tell me that the weaning is not going well? Or what should I be learning from them? I'm just not sure if I should be concerned about them or not, or trying some things to help, or should I even be continuing with this weaning process.

Not for us to say I'm afraid. I'd go back to your doctor.

DeVore

lukesmom wrote: »

Anybody got any good tips for insomnia??? I withdrawed from a drug that used to knock me out at night but I can't sleep at all even though I did a 2k walk at a very fast pace at about 5pm. Made sure no caffeine at night, went to bed wrecked at midnight but no joy so at 4am I took a sleeping tablet I had since last year. I'd rather not get addicted to these though so wondering if any of you have tips for getting asleep? I've to get up with three kids so can't sleep during day

Meditation is also very good, not just for the mind but also physiologically it helps the body get into a state thats good for sleep. A good meditation helps with blood flow (which is why your limbs feel heavy when you do a good meditation).

Walking a longer distance is a good idea too. Go slower and walk longer. Being exhausted isn't the same as being tired...

looking_around

whirlpool wrote: »

The side effects have included distressingly-vivid dreams, feeling breathless (including waking up in the middle of the night gasping for breath) slight panicking, ongoing mild anxiety, slight dizziness from time to time, and doom and gloom.
.

Firstly, go back to your doc. He shouldn't have tried to wean you off until you asked for it.

I only had one doc(useless one, she was) suggest coming off meds and told'em, when and if I feel ready.
If you don't feel ready.. you're going to start having anxiety/panic. Which aren't standard withdrawal symptoms. Dizziness/vivid dreams are. If you're on cymbalta the dizziness for me didn't actually stop til I was 3 or so weeks clear of them entirely. This is quite common, (absolutely horrible time... but doing stuff helped with the dizziness, getting and moving. -try to have someone near you just in case you trip or whatever- I found that it would be hard to move at first but the more I did the less dizzy I felt.

Seems like you're stressing out more though, I'd go back on full dose til you can get to your doc.

Dodd

I need to see my GP.

What do say if they when making an appointment"me heads wrecked".?
It's one thing if it's physical you just say it's this or that.

I don't know how I can put things to make sense to the GP also and think I might end up just walking out.

I don't know about being depressed but I'm feed up for a while now
and don't care anymore but I have grown kids and I guess I should get help.

mickman

Dodd wrote: »

I need to see my GP.

What do say if they when making an appointment"me heads wrecked".?
It's one thing if it's physical you just say it's this or that.

I don't know how I can put things to make sense to the GP also and think I might end up just walking out.

I don't know about being depressed but I'm feed up for a while now
and don't care anymore but I have grown kids and I guess I should get help.

I would recommend you start with an aware group - most GP's wont understand what you are talking about

lukesmom

mickman wrote: »

I would recommend you start with an aware group - most GP's wont understand what you are talking about

I have to disagree. Most gps are well used to people coming in with mental health issues and will be able to help you. Make that appointment, no need to suffer on.

mickman

lukesmom wrote: »

I have to disagree. Most gps are well used to people coming in with mental health issues and will be able to help you. Make that appointment, no need to suffer on.

Most GP's will offer a perscription and a referral - that should not be the first steps

lukesmom

mickman wrote: »

Most GP's will offer a perscription and a referral - that should not be the first steps

We will just have to agree to disagree. I believe seeing a gp face to face should be the first step instead of an online help forum. I think that should come second and I'm just speaking from my own experience.

mickman

lukesmom wrote: »

We will just have to agree to disagree. I believe seeing a gp face to face should be the first step instead of an online help forum. I think that should come second and I'm just speaking from my own experience.

first step should be talking to people in the same situation i.e. aware support group

lukesmom

mickman wrote: »

first step should be talking to people in the same situation i.e. aware support group

So you said.....three times now. I still think it's your gp, a medical professional you should see first.

mickman

lukesmom wrote: »

So you said.....three times now. I still think it's your gp, a medical professional you should see first.

yes , so you said , three times now

FollatonWood

In reference to the above posts - first step should be a therapist (preferably a counselling pyschologist) IMO. They can then work with you with regards to various recovery tools such as support groups and refer you to go a doctor if medication is needed.

mickman

FollatonWood wrote: »

In reference to the above posts - first step should be a therapist (preferably a counselling pyschologist) IMO. They can then work with you with regards to various recovery tools such as support groups and refer you to go a doctor if medication is needed.

yes good point actually. A counselling psychologist ( a good one) will recommend meds if you need them. Most GP's will just offer them the minute they hear the word "depression"

DeVore

Some doctors will, the same way some doctors will prescribe anti-biotics if they hear a cough.

Others are more nuanced... your mileage may vary


Personally, I looked up a psychologist directly after having talked to a family member and a close friend. The first step, is talking to someone.