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Strangest Insult You Ever Got?

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124

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    #92
    BaBaBluesheep
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭BaBaBluesheep


    this is pretty tame compared to some here but i still get a laugh-rumble when i think of it.

    said to my younger sis when she was in her teens, during a PE lesson in the poshest English accent:
    "You have the reaction rate of a corpse!"

    I suppose you really had to know miss mould to laugh at that one:)


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    #93
    Miss_yap_yap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭Miss_yap_yap


    About 4 years ago, I got a lift home to my apartment. I got out of the car and this random man in a suit with his young son started shouting across the street to me " Your God has abandoned you. He has left you" I was so wrecked from doing an exam earlier, I keep asking him, "what?"
    I got into my flat and told my flatmate about yer man. Went down to the supermarket next door and there he was doing his food shopping! :(


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    #94
    JerryHandbag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,543 ✭✭✭JerryHandbag


    In the chipper after a night out a guy called me "Alien face".

    After which I hit him with the Vulcan death pinch & beamed up to the mothership.


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    #95
    ilovesleep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭ilovesleep


    Happened to me this summer and it wasn't with words. It was through lack of action.

    I got involved with a man and he asked for my address to send on a gift. I thought that was very nice, kind, and thoughtful of him. But he ended up not sending it. What a way to tell someone to fcuk off. I put it to the back of my mind until he eventually came back and suggested seconds with me and I questioned him about his gift and he further insulted me by writing he lost it. He never had it to begin with more like. Talking about a kick in the fcuking teeth. Rude pr1ck


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    #96
    M5
    Registered Users Posts: 10,161 ✭✭✭✭M5


    You look like a bulldog licking p1ss off a nettle
    :mad:


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    #97
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    "You think like a woman."

    Said to me on a thread here a while back.
    I think it was because I suggested that telling a girlfriend who was clearly not happy with her new haircut (different from what she had asked for) that she looked like "a f**king idiot" or somesuch was not the best idea, and perhaps a degree of sympathy was in order.

    I think I might be one of those Feminazis.

    I was also once told that I don't look Irish as my features are too sharp by a Slovak colleague.
    I think it was meant as a compliment.
    Beats being told I look like Moby anyway.


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    #98
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    i can't remember but i remember a chef turning round to another chef and saying stfu you baby fvcking **** nibbler


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    #99
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Told a girl at school when I was 12 that I'd gotten my first period and she went round telling loads of people, as a result of which I was known as a slut and no longer a virgin. :pac:


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    #100
    el Bastardo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 573 ✭✭✭el Bastardo


    You look like Moby.
    The King of Moo wrote: »
    "You think like a woman."

    Said to me on a thread here a while back.
    I think it was because I suggested that telling a girlfriend who was clearly not happy with her new haircut (different from what she had asked for) that she looked like "a f**king idiot" or somesuch was not the best idea, and perhaps a degree of sympathy was in order.

    I think I might be one of those Feminazis.

    I was also once told that I don't look Irish as my features are too sharp by a Slovak colleague.
    I think it was meant as a compliment.
    Beats being told I look like Moby anyway.


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    #101
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    Dudess wrote: »
    Told a girl at school when I was 12 that I'd gotten my first period and she went round telling loads of people, as a result of which I was known as a slut and no longer a virgin. :pac:

    Nice..... :cool:
    :D


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    #102
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    Dudess wrote: »
    Told a girl at school when I was 12 that I'd gotten my first period and she went round telling loads of people, as a result of which I was known as a slut and no longer a virgin. :pac:


    You should see them now. I know of a young teen who got jeered at school because she wasn't ''giving it up'' and hence wasn't a slut. When I was younger it was the other way around. The world's gotten messed up lol


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    #103
    thedoc46
    Registered Users Posts: 53 ✭✭thedoc46


    Best one I have heard, is "Your the c*m your mother shoulda swallowed" :D


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    #104
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    psychward wrote: »
    Dudess wrote: »
    Told a girl at school when I was 12 that I'd gotten my first period and she went round telling loads of people, as a result of which I was known as a slut and no longer a virgin. :pac:


    You should see them now. I know of a young teen who got jeered at school because she wasn't ''giving it up'' and hence wasn't a slut. When I was younger it was the other way around. The world's gotten messed up lol
    Yeah, either extreme is just nutty! :eek:


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    #105
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    el Bastardo wrote: »
    You look like Moby.

    :(

    Dammit, even the smiley looks a bit like a sad Moby without glasses!


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    #106
    worded
    Registered Users Posts: 4,560 ✭✭✭worded


    You spaghetti head. Said to an italian froend as an insult. I fell around the place laughing at his attempt at racism


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    #107
    worded
    Registered Users Posts: 4,560 ✭✭✭worded


    "Your patetic" a dub trying to insult me. V funny


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    #108
    OneArt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,910 ✭✭✭OneArt


    A student once told me I looked like Justin Bieber.

    Since when did just Bieber have spiky hair?

    Not really meant as an insult (I think!) but sometimes I wish I could give detention.


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    #109
    carfiosaoorl
    Registered Users Posts: 594 ✭✭✭carfiosaoorl


    I was talking to a guy recently in a pub and asked him if he wanted a turtle (I know that sounds strange but I had a turtle that I really wanted to get rid of because my cat kept climbing into the tank to eat him). he said he definitely wanted him and a few days later he met my niece and said "Does your grandmother still have that turtle". I'm 34 bastard:mad:


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    #110
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Nothing wrong with how Moby looks, Moo.


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    #111
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Somebody ..a guy who was well known for thrown insults around at any and everybody once called me Hammer Head . :confused:


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    #112
    xoxyx
    Registered Users Posts: 1,811 ✭✭✭xoxyx


    Dudess wrote: »
    Told a girl at school when I was 12 that I'd gotten my first period and she went round telling loads of people, as a result of which I was known as a slut and no longer a virgin. :pac:

    Jaysus - twelve? Who were you at school with? Or else, what age were the people you were discussing your period with??? :eek::pac:


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    #113
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Dudess wrote: »
    Nothing wrong with how Moby looks, Moo.

    Thanks :).

    I guess I'd just prefer to be likened to a wider range of shaven-headed celebrities :).

    Oh, that reminds me, someone did once tell me I looked liked Sinéad O'Connor.

    I've no idea if it was meant as a compliment or not, but I actually didn't really mind it.

    Especially as I kind of saw the resemblance... :eek:


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    #114
    RichieC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,333 ✭✭✭RichieC


    Shnacko to me: Jayzuz the length of you...

    I'm 6ft not even particularly tall.. :confused:


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    #115
    du Maurier
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭du Maurier


    moco wrote: »
    This wasn't said to me, it was a girl I work with.

    She was in the coffee shop next door and the guy behind the counter said "You smoke, don't you?" She said "yea, how did you know that?"

    He goes "I can tell by your lips."

    :confused::(

    Dunno about the confused emoticon. Wrinkled upper lips (or in the area of the philtrum, if that's what it's called) is a common occurance with smokers.


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    #116
    Fizman
    Registered Users Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    Funny, I was only thinking of this the other day.

    Was seeing a girl for a month or two in mid 2010. One night I went back to hers and was going to be staying over, and after coming back to hers after a few drinks we were having a lovely 'chat' in her living room where she was saying some quite positive stuff about my appearance, but managed to progress to her saying "You look like a bit of a player" and somehow managed to squeeze in "You don't look very trustworthy".

    I took it surprisingly bad actually. Told her it was one of the nastiest things someone said to me. I convinced myself that she must have had a chequered past with lads, possibly, but it put me right off her anyway! Stayed over that night (I had the car and had liquor in me so couldn't leave). Think we may have met up once after that but that was it.


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    #117
    du Maurier
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭du Maurier


    Fizman wrote: »
    Funny, I was only thinking of this the other day.

    Was seeing a girl for a month or two in mid 2010. One night I went back to hers and was going to be staying over, and after coming back to hers after a few drinks we were having a lovely 'chat' in her living room where she was saying some quite positive stuff about my appearance, but managed to progress to her saying "You look like a bit of a player" and somehow managed to squeeze in "You don't look very trustworthy".

    I took it surprisingly bad actually. Told her it was one of the nastiest things someone said to me. I convinced myself that she must have had a chequered past with lads, possibly, but it put me right off her anyway! Stayed over that night (I had the car and had liquor in me so couldn't leave). Think we may have met up once after that but that was it.

    Was it Beyonce?


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    #118
    Pierce_1991
    Registered Users Posts: 2,425 ✭✭✭Pierce_1991


    Used to live in Waterford, moved back to Dublin in second year and got slagged a lot for being a 'bogger' etc. The strange thing was that the person who slagged me the most for not being from Dublin was from Romania... I just couldn't understand


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    #119
    HLecter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 79 ✭✭HLecter


    Got compared to Ralph Wiggum.


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    #120
    psychward
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭psychward


    HLecter wrote: »
    Got compared to Ralph Wiggum.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIrhVo1WA78


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    #121
    Daniel S
    Registered Users Posts: 3,525 ✭✭✭Daniel S


    Old man with Tourette's (I'm almost certain at this stage) said this to me the other day. He was in one of those sit down old people scooters. His plastic cover/raincoat had blown off so I picked it up for him. Not really an insult but:

    "Thanks very much... you big lanky fúckin' eejit."

    Said that four times while I was helping him. He didn't even flinch when he said it, really really odd... :rolleyes:


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