Strangest Insult You Ever Got?

OurLadyofKnock

Getting out of a taxi in Atlanta after I got annoyed with the driver taking me to the wrong location. He rolled down the window and casually remarked. "You have the intelligence of a homosexual and the legs of woman." and then he drove off.

I kind of wanted to hate him - but I think I admired his delivery.

Jen Pigs Fly

"Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of Elderberries"

Millicent

OurLadyofKnock wrote: »

Getting out of a taxi in Atlanta after I got annoyed with the driver taking me to the wrong location. He rolled down the window and casually remarked. "You have the intelligence of a homosexual and the legs of woman." and then he drove off.

I kind of wanted to hate him - but I think I admired his delivery.

Are you a woman?!

Professey Chin

"Youre a nice guy but you have no sex appeal."
That really hurt actually Rather if she just called me a cnut or something

Banjaxed82

Is it in yet?

chin_grin

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

"Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of Elderberries"

<pats head> Pppppppppppppppppppppppfffff.

Well it wasn't really a personal insult more like the state of the shop. So......insulting something inanimate?......Maybe?

I was walking around with the manager in Homebase (many many moons ago when I was young and needed the money.......for drink). So he stops at a particular section and is talking about cleaning it up as "....it looks like <pause> a cats abortion." I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from p!ssing myself laughing. Gotta admit, it's a glorious image!

slavetothegrind

you look like a lesbian from behind!

OurLadyofKnock

The Great Chinholio wrote: »

"Youre a nice guy but you have no sex appeal."

Yikes! That is cold.

bigwormbundoran

A traveller once called me a dirty Ditch Rabbit, not a clue how its offensive though.

Dirtymurder

At clara Lara as a kid some other kid said to me "go back to your caravan befor i take the wheels of it"

Temptamperu

bigwormbundoran wrote: »

A traveller once called me a dirty Ditch Rabbit, not a clue how its offensive though.

I googles that and it asked did I mean Dirty Dutch Rabit :pac:

foxyboxer

*pointing at me*

"Anthony Murnane!!!!!!!!!"

some random drunk

"Get outta me way ya stupeh dozy c*nt" - said to me by a little knacker who was cycling a bike around inside the Jervis Centre.

Fromthetrees

a waste of sperm....:p

CardBordWindow

'You assymetrical saggy arsed b*stard' was an insult a housemate of mine used to often dish out.

mattjack

here ya go sir, your car passed the NCT.

castletownman

"I wouldn't ride ya if ya came with a saddle". From an extremely drunk one in town one night. I wouldn't mind but I never even seen her in my life or approached her.

Redlion

Had a group of lads shouting "Ginger" at me when I was younger, when one of them got a bit caught up in it and shouted:

"Yeah...GO SHAVE YOUR PUBES!!"

Couldn't help but break my heart laughing

Flesh Gorden

I hope you have Ginger Twins

LeeHoffmann

"Shave your legs next time before you talk to me". I was wearing jeans at the time so legs were well out of sight.

John Doe1

"Why do ya have long hair, do you think you are jesus or summin"

Professey Chin

OurLadyofKnock wrote: »

Yikes! That is cold.

She just blurted it out too. Dont think I was even part (or trying to be a part) of the conversation she was having with my friend :pac:

Feeona

OurLadyofKnock wrote: »

"You have the intelligence of a homosexual and the legs of woman." and then he drove off.

I read that with a Borat voice in my head.

Ms. Pingui

My friends all time favourite insult is "You'd do well in the cold!"

IrishZeus

"I don't care what the rest of them say about ya, I think you're alright."

Insult? Compliment? Who knows?

number10a

I got called an artificial lesbian once. And I'm a guy.

moco

This wasn't said to me, it was a girl I work with.

She was in the coffee shop next door and the guy behind the counter said "You smoke, don't you?" She said "yea, how did you know that?"

He goes "I can tell by your lips."

:(

John Doe1

number10a wrote: »

I got called an artificial lesbian once. And I'm a guy.

Perhaps thats a greek island of lesbos version of "plastic paddy"?

RoryMurphyJnr

"look at the smart arse reading a book"
on the bus to Ballymun, think the book was Robert Ludlum

LeeHoffmann

^ I think that's a double-edged insult

Feeona

RoryMurphyJnr wrote: »

"look at the smart arse reading a book"
on the bus to Ballymun, think the book was Robert Ludlum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvs2g5Nj0NI

bradlente

"Well if those aren't the prettiest pair of blue eyes I've ever seen"

I have brown eyes ye ****!

KeithAFC

Got called a Hun once.

AnonoBoy

I thought this chick was insulting me once when she shouted "You do that like a girl!".

I was performing oral sex on her at the time though so it actually turned out to be a compliment.

Hamhide

'your ugly and you have no friends' my brother said to me once,he didnt really mean it but it hurt like hell

fedor.2.

1000 Posts baby

westies4ever

getting told to **** off back to scotland by some little knacker in dublin city centre - im from co derry by the way.

John Doe1

westies4ever wrote: »

getting told to **** off back to scotland by some little knacker in dublin city centre - im from co derry by the way.

County londonderry is close enough to scotland to be fair

John Doe1

KeithAFC wrote: »

Got called a Hun once.

Well you were instrumental in the hunnic empire back in the day like

cruiser178

In school years ago young fella says to me," the best part of you is still running down your mothers legs. Which I found very insulting, coz my mother is a very clean woman.

fedor.2.

cruiser178 wrote: »

In school years ago young fella says to me," the best part of you is still running down your mothers legs. Which I found very insulting, coz my mother is a very clean woman.

Not from what i remember;)

Kmc123

Granmother once said to me "your as good as your father and your father was useless"!!

brummytom

"You protestant cunt. I'll rip your fucking head off you English bastard" by a Pikey, because he asked me for a light, but I didn't hear him so I said "pardon?".
I'm Catholic.

westies4ever

John Doe1 wrote: »

County londonderry is close enough to scotland to be fair

if you're looking to rise me smart ass its working - but lets not take this topic off thread (why oh why oh why does it come up every single time) :mad:

Pure Sound

You look better looking in the mirror

John Doe1

westies4ever wrote: »

if you're looking to rise me smart ass its working - but lets not take this topic off thread (why oh why oh why does it come up every single time) :mad:

Alright calm down mucker. I was joking, I unreservedly apologise and next time im in derry i will kiss the gold paved streets

FinnLizzy

From a member of the travelling community. I was wearing a bandana.

"Here, look at the Pope wearing the bandana!". I had no fúcking idea what to make of it! I thought his sort loved the Pope!

John Doe1

FinnLizzy wrote: »

From a member of the travelling community. I was wearing a bandana.

"Here, look at the Pope wearing the bandana!". I had no fúcking idea what to make of it! I thought his sort loved the Pope!

Why the hell were you wearing a bandana?

stephen_k

Best insult I ever heard, said in a scanger Dublin accent

"Yoouuuu are deh epitome of rude-ity"

John Doe1

stephen_k wrote: »

Best insult I ever heard, said in a scanger Dublin accent

"Yoouuuu are deh epitome of rude-ity"

Epitome? jeez must have been an edumacated skanger

Nemanja91

I was told I look like someone from One Direction on a night out!