Do you ever think about your loved ones dying?

hondasam

Kasabian wrote: »

My Mum will call a family meeting tomorrow to check if I have told anyone whether I am sick, depressed, in trouble, lost my job.

John Doe1 wrote: »

Ha nice one:), after i started this thread me and my mother had a great heart of heart in which i told her I loved which i dont do often enough.

Your mom is the most important woman in your life and always will be, love her while you still can.

Novella

I guess I sometimes think about people I love dying. I grew up with my grandparents and they were in their 70's when I was a baby so I was never gonna have them around for a long time. My granny died when I was 12 and honestly, before that, I'd never lost anyone so it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I had never for even a second imagined that I'd have to live life without any of the people I loved, who loved me, in it.

For a while, I was constantly worried that others would die. It was a thought I couldn't get out of my head. I was terrified of being left behind again. My cousin died then though and she was just 15 so I suppose I realised that life really can be short. It is short, even when it's long, if that makes sense.

I could worry all day and night that people are gonna die and then be hit by a bus myself tomorrow. So truthfully, when I do think of death, it's fleetingly. It is gonna happen to all of us. I just wanna enjoy what I have now.

Irish Guitarist

My mother is in her late seventies so yes, especially since my father died in 2000. It was actually on the eve of the millennium that the doctor informed my family my father wouldn't last. He died a few days later. So I tend to think about my mother dying more around Christmas and New Year.

Having said that, when I was a child I did think about my parents dying a lot. I think this was because my mother had me when she was in her forties so I was aware my parents were older than the parents of the other kids I went to school with.

I don't consciously think about any of my other family members dying but I've had a couple of dreams about my sister dying. Despite having four sisters, it's been the same sister that has died in these dreams. It's only been a couple of dreams, mind.

Loopie

Jesus, thank God I'm not the only one. Thought I was losing my marbles, thnk about it a lot! I do look at my dad and wonder if he's well - noting wring with him, gets medicals etc but I can't help it!!!

My mam had a serious health scare earlier in the year. Couldn't get my head around it as she's so healthy and active. I remember looking at her in the hospital bed thinking how vulnerable she was, and ghostly as well (damn drugs!!) - didn't stop her putting her makeup on everyday in there though! Turned out to not be as serious as initially thought and she's in great form now. But it really does go to show that those we think are invincible really aren't, and it's so imprtant to not sweat the small stuff in life because when it comes down to it all, and your family/friends are in sh*t order, you're not going to be worrying about your job/boss/will-he-wont-he guys in life etc. F*ck the lot of them, family is what matters in life. End of. Easier said than done, I know, but always worth keeping in the back of your head.

I should add that my unhealthy obsession was kicked to curb when my mother told me it was probably cause I'd nothing of too much interest goign on in my life. Nothing like an Irish mammy to tell it like it is!

Dave147

davemc180 wrote: »

i lost a friend was devastating , my mam was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 year ago when i was sitting my leaving cert, its had me in bits, but she pulled threw, but then last year she was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer and had to have a Hysterectomy done due to side effects...

i love her to bits and shes always on my mind, shes on the mend again now though thank god

id be devastated if i lost her and have thought about it many times

Hope she pulls through that as well, poor thing beat it once, it should never come back..

calabi yau

I never thought about death before. In fact I always thought I lived a charmed life and everyone I loved would live well into their 80's.

Then, the person I love the most, my 3 year old son, was diagnosed with an aggressively malignant brain tumor in June. When I was told, I want to crawl my way into the ground. The last 4 months have been an absolute hell at times and I have constantly battled with the thought of losing him. I he were to die from this, I'm not sure how it will effect me. I will be destroyed as a person and I may never want to speak with another person again. I am haunted by the thoughts of a funeral, or was at least, occasionally.

My son is doing very well, and we are very hopeful that he will pull through, relatively unscathed, even though there is a long way to go.

All of this has rocked my confidence to the core. My wife is due another baby this week and I am even wondering if that baby will be ok, whereas before I would have been "of course they'll be grand".

Its tough going but I am positive, and we'll get there in the end. I would rather I had this illness than my son.

matamoros1965

In my case, the thought of my Mam eventually dying struck me one day while chatting with her over a cup of tea in her house. After that day, I felt that I got more out of our times together and when many years later, she did pass away, her passing didn't devastate me as I'd always worried that it would.

I was at the time, mature in years and not dependent fully on my parents as a younger person would be. I would say that reflecting on all parts of life including death can help a feeling of appreciation of life.

Zen65

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

"And I am not frightened of dying. Any time will do. I don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying?"

This Pink Floyd quote, though not taken directly from the Book of Tao, sums up much of the Buddhist philosophy towards death. Far from being something to fear, it is death which gives life its meaning and its value. The cycle of birth, life and death provides for a world of endless possibility, though each of us must experience this from within the confines of our own lifetime.

Of course, while it is relatively easy to live without fearing one's own death, the inevitable death of our loved ones is a thought which brings great sadness. As parents we hope never to experience the loss of our own children, but we know that we must inevitably experience the loss of our parents. Were it not for death we may very well simply outgrow the relationship between the parent and the child, but the inevitability of death preserves a strong bond wherein the child is often offered the opportunity to repay the gift of life bestowed by the parent by offering support and comfort during the final years, months and moments of the parent. The cycle of life finds its true beauty in that exchange.

Op, when you find yourself having dark moments dwelling on these fears, try for a while to imagine a world without natural death. Think of the overcrowding, the scrambling for resources, the suppression of progress and ultimately the indifference that we would develop towards each other in the knowledge we would always be around? For me that is far more horrible a thought than any concern about the loss of today's loved ones.

Be at peace,

Z