The Commute

syklops

Im starting to go off the midwife, she was saying she was feeling sorry for Irish people she knew who moved to London and were trying to make a life for themselves, but she got to go home after 3 days. It feels a bit like having her cake and eating it too. Like: "I get to have my family in Cork, and my career in London, and I get to be on the telly crying woe is me".

Another guy was introduced as "this is kevin smith, he is arriving home after being away for a month". To be honest, if you're away for a month, your not commuting.

Yeah, its a poor programme.

Storminateacup

Both myself and my partner commute daily, both working in dublin, which is about a 2.5hr commute in the am and 1.5hr in the evenings. He has to be in work earlier than me and is home before me, so we both have to drive.

We have a 5 month old child and to be honest, it's horrible having to commute so far knowing if something happens godforbid, we are both so far away.

Sometimes I feel incredibly guilty, being away from her for so long, and it broke my heart going back to work when she was two months old but ultimately were both doing it for her. We're both young, both starting off in our careers and Dublin is where the best oppertunities are.

Very aware how judgemental people are of young parents, how theyre stereotyped and I don't want that for my child.

If it wasn't for her, Id have no problem taking a lesser paid/lesser experience job closer to home, but that's how it is.

I know it will be worth it in the long run

syklops

Storminateacup wrote: »

Both myself and my partner commute daily, both working in dublin, which is about a 2.5hr commute in the am and 1.5hr in the evenings. He has to be in work earlier than me and is home before me, so we both have to drive.

We have a 5 month old child and to be honest, it's horrible having to commute so far knowing if something happens godforbid, we are both so far away.

Sometimes I feel incredibly guilty, being away from her for so long, and it broke my heart going back to work when she was two months old but ultimately were both doing it for her. We're both young, both starting off in our careers and Dublin is where the best oppertunities are.

Very aware how judgemental people are of young parents, how theyre stereotyped and I don't want that for my child.

If it wasn't for her, Id have no problem taking a lesser paid/lesser experience job closer to home, but that's how it is.

I know it will be worth it in the long run

Why cant you move to Dublin?

Jess16

ninja900 wrote: »

No the problem is that the programme was extremely poor. It set itself up as addressing the concerns of everyday people but instead focused on a few people who can best be described as lunatics who refuse to emotionally commit to moving their families to where their work is.

Why the 'bog warrior whinge' attitude if your gripe is now with something else? For someone talking about other people complaining, you're doing a fair bit of it yourself. You do know that woman commuting to London has a house, presumably with a mortgage, her seven children in school and her husband's business all in Cork -is she supposed to pop all of that in a suitcase and bring it to London? I admire anyone who will make sacrifices to put the needs of their family first.

Son Of A Vidic

starbelgrade wrote: »

After about 20 minutes of getting nowhere & looking like a tool, a local tracksuit wearing youngfella came up to me & said "Here mister.. I'll show ya"

I was was hoping to read that he hopped on your Vespa and then sped away on it . But oh no, you had to go and ruin it for me.:(

syklops

Jess16 wrote: »

Are you so heartless in real life too? That woman commuting to London has a house, presumably with a mortgage, her seven children in school and her husband's business all in Cork -is she supposed to pop all of that in a suitcase and bring it to London? I admire anyone who will make sacrifices to put the needs of their family first

Yeah, but the lad who was 'commuting' home to play hurling every week. Surely he can be classed as a lunatic, no?

Storminateacup

syklops wrote: »

Why cant you move to Dublin?

Because we have planning permission on a site where I live and we are hoping to build our own home. I don't want my child growing up in Dublin and I don't want a complete stranger looking after my child, when she could be around people who love her instead.

starbelgrade

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

I was was hoping to read that he hopped on your Vespa and then sped away on it . But oh no, you had to go and ruin it for me.:(

That thought seriously crossed my mind at the time, but he turned out to be a sound little fecker!

HavingCrack

The woman who moved between Cork and London, surely the amount of money spent on accomodation in London and flights back and forth pretty much cancels out most of the financial benefit's that she's earning working in the UK?

Jess16

syklops wrote: »

Why cant you move to Dublin?

God almighty, do people here actually realise that not everyone wants to live in Dublin

yourpics

The people featured in the programme may spend a lot of money commuting and not have much leftover but they are gaining experience which will be invaluable when (or if) jobs come around in Ireland.
You could say short term pain/long term gain or you could say they are looking at the bigger picture especially in the case of the midwife.

syklops

Storminateacup wrote: »

Because we have planning permission on a site where I live and we are hoping to build our own home. I don't want my child growing up in Dublin and I don't want a complete stranger looking after my child, when she could be around people who love her instead.

Well fair enough, but, I hope you dont think your current situation is going to be permanent. Would you not prefer to put your 20 hour a week travel costs towards a safe home for your husband and child to live in, near your place of work, for a year or two, rather than this mammoth commute every day. It cant be doing your relationship any good. Do you get to spend any time with the child when you get home?

TheUsual

starbelgrade wrote: »

Kinda miss it, it has to be said.

Buy a cheap second hand Suzuki Burgman 400cc for 2,000 euro, they have an option for automatic, no gears or clutch, trust me you will love it.

You know you want to relive your youth !

HavingCrack

Jess16 wrote: »

God almighty, do people here actually realise that not everyone wants to live in Dublin

To be fair, if you're doing a round trip communte of 4 hours plus, it does seem vaguely sensible to at least move a bit closer to Dublin even if you don't neccessarily want to live in the city itself.

syklops

Jess16 wrote: »

God almighty, do people here actually realise that not everyone wants to live in Dublin

Of course I understand that, but given the choice of living in Dublin and commuting for 4 hours, I would much rather live in Dublin and get to spend the evening with my loved ones, then spending it on a Bus or train, or in a car on my own listening to Mary Kennedy or Miles Dungan.

Try and engage in the conversation, or take your knee jerk disgust elsewhere.

Hotblack Desiato

Jess16 wrote: »

Why the 'bog warrior whinge' attitude if your gripe is now with something else? For someone talking about other people complaining, you're doing a fair bit of it yourself. You do know that woman commuting to London has a house, presumably with a mortgage, her seven children in school and her husband's business all in Cork -is she supposed to pop all of that in a suitcase and bring it to London? I admire anyone who will make sacrifices to put the needs of their family first.

She's still a whinger. She decided she was going to move into a certain profession and is now whinging that that profession is no longer recruiting here. Cry me a river. Also, nobody forced her to have seven frigging kids or to live in a big house. To be fair, she's not a bog warrior whinger as her job prospects would be equally poor in Dublin!

Storminateacup

syklops wrote: »

Well fair enough, but, I hope you dont think your current situation is going to be permanent. Would you not prefer to put your 20 hour a week travel costs towards a safe home for your husband and child to live in, near your place of work, for a year or two, rather than this mammoth commute every day. It cant be doing your relationship any good. Do you get to spend any time with the child when you get home?

I'm hoping it won't be permanent. It may be for my partner but at the minute, I'm striving to gain as much experience as I can because as soon as I have enough experience, I'd like to open my own business closer to home. It's not doing our relationship any good - as Sundays are really the only days we have together, but we're strong and we both want the best possible start in life for our child. I do get to spend time with her when I get home and we do take her into our bed, so at least she's next to me as she sleeps, but it is hard leaving her for so long.

It won't be forever though, and it'll all be worth it, fingers crossed, in a few years when she has everything she could possibly want.

TheUsual

HavingCrack wrote: »

To be fair, if you're doing a round trip communte of 4 hours plus, it does seem vaguely sensible to at least move a bit closer to Dublin even if you don't neccessarily want to live in the city itself.

Some home were built in Co. Meath with the "45 minutes from Dublin" lie ..

yeah in a helicopter.

Storminateacup

HavingCrack wrote: »

To be fair, if you're doing a round trip communte of 4 hours plus, it does seem vaguely sensible to at least move a bit closer to Dublin even if you don't neccessarily want to live in the city itself.

it does seem like the sensible option but you know it's just different circumstances for different people
ideally, I'd still be on maternity leave, but that really wasn't a luxury I could afford to take. Ideally we'd get to spend more time with my child and less time travelling, but we're then leaving her for 10 hours a day with someone she doesn't know, and someone who doesn't love her.

HavingCrack

TheUsual wrote: »

Some home were built in Co. Meath with the "45 minutes from Dublin" lie ..

yeah in a helicopter.

To be fair commuting from Navan or Ashbourne is handy enough, especially if you're working in the Blanchardstown area. If anyone commuting from the Westmeath or Cavan borders believed it was a 45 minute commute to Dublin City centre without bothering to check it themselves the deserve what they got to be honest.

Jess16

syklops wrote: »

Try and engage in the conversation, or take your knee jerk disgust elsewhere.

Agree with you, you mean -no thanks.

syklops wrote: »

I would much rather live in Dublin and get to spend the evening with my loved ones, then spending it on a Bus or train, or in a car on my own listening to Mary Kennedy or Miles Dungan.

That's nice. Now maybe you should learn that not everybody wants to live their life the way you do and that it's really none of your business to question other people's personal decisions

meoklmrk91

It's insane being honest. I travel from up and down to college everyday, it all depends whether I drive or get the train, but I am looking at inbetween an hour - an hour and half at the very least.. By the end of the week I am wreaked and use one day to catch up on sleep. Nothing like public transport to crush ones soul imho.

TheUsual

HavingCrack wrote: »

To be fair commuting from Navan or Ashbourne is handy enough, especially if you're working in the Blanchardstown area. If anyone commuting from the Westmeath or Cavan borders believed it was a 45 minute commute to Dublin City centre without bothering to check it themselves the deserve what they got to be honest.

Meath to Blanch ... you said it. How many people work there.

Now try city centre.

syklops

I wont quote storminateacup because I dont want her to feel I am preaching to her, but for me, if it was my child in the picture, I would set my wife up in a nice affordable flat near my job and then when work was done I could spend as much time with them as I could and put the commute money in the bank. That way child is looked after, and I get to see them without spending 20 hours a week in the company of Bus Eireann. I dont think that kind of commute is sustainable, and it eventually does damage to the family unit and the relationship.

syklops

Jess16 wrote: »

Agree with you, you mean -no thanks.

This is a discussion forum. We discuss. Disagree with me by all means, but please engage in the conversation.

Jess16 wrote: »

That's nice. Now maybe you should learn that not everybody wants to live their life the way you do and that it's really none of your business to question other people's personal decisions

Again, its a discussion forum, if you dont want your decisions on your methods of commute questioned, dont post them on a public forum, in a thread discussing the topic of commuting.

Jess16

syklops wrote: »

This is a discussion forum. We discuss. Disagree with me by all means, but please engage in the conversation

Please understand that negating your questions is engaging in the conversation.

syklops wrote: »

Again, its a discussion forum, if you dont want your decisions on your methods of commute questioned, dont post them on a public forum, in a thread discussing the topic of commuting.

I'm fully aware it's a discussion forum thank you. It's not the discussion I don't like, it's your condescending attitude.

You work to live, not live to work and if people feel their lives are elsewhere, that's where they should stay, regardless of any job.

Whispered

My husband has a commute of about 3 hours round trip, driving hard. He could afford to take a 20% wage drop to work closer to home and with being able to downsize the car, less on fuel, less on wear and tear he'd break even. Add to that the fact he feels like he's driving his life away, he'd be happy to loose an extrs 10 - 15% of his wage to be home earlier. He recently applied for a job 5 mins from our house, for a lot less money. I really hope he gets it. The commute is not worth it. Not being home, a 12 hour day, the extra time when the weather is in any way bad, the worry on frosty/snowy nights, the stress of sitting in a car.

My situation is different, I work nights, so my commute, a similar distance, was a 2 hour round trip. However I recently had to sell my car. My new commute, using public transport takes me 2 hours to get to work and 3 hours to get home, meaning my new day is 15 hours, every evening 9pm - 12pm, at the very minumum. I am seriously considering leaving, and having a very hard time with making the decision. My chances of getting another job are not great, we'd be living on one wage, which might be dropping soon too. It's a difficult decision to make. With a mortgage, we can't move closer to our jobs.

southsiderosie

I think more people in Ireland need to be realistic about work and family life. People are obsessed with raising their kids in the country, but want the kind of well-paying professional jobs that by and large are going to be in a city. But there are only so many hours in the day, and you can't have it all. Yet suggest you raise your kids in Dublin or - GOD FORBID - in a flat instead of a house, and people look at you like you have three heads.

If you want a well-paying professional position and you want to spend time with your family, then be prepared to have a smaller house (for probably more money) but a shorter commute. But it's annoying that people complain about 2-hour commutes because they think they are entitled to both city wages and a country lifestyle. Just pick one and quit whinging.

Whispered

Wouldn't it be great if it was that black and white. What about the people lost their jobs and have no choice but to commute to work because they couldn't find work closer to home?

opti76

orourkeda wrote: »

Was it worth it?

No