Things you thought when you were younger

AskMyChocolate

I thought prettiness in a girl was inversely proportional to her promiscuity/sex-drive.

I thought that if you soaked conkers in vinegar for just the right amount of time it would make them unbeatable.

I thought if me Dad came home and I hadn't lit the fire, I'd get a belt of The Evening Press around the ear. (Oh, hang on,That one's true)

So AHers, what other things did you think/believe when you were younger?

kfallon

Santa Claus was real.....and Jesus!

Skuxx

I tought baked beans were little balls of mashed potato!

senordingdong

That After Hours was a passing fad.

RachaelVO

That people would treat you as you treated them...

Turns out that's a loada cack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Immaculate Pasta

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

I thought prettiness in a girl was inversely proportional to her promiscuity/sex-drive.

That is actually true - at least for me anyway...

abouttobebanned

That rape and stab were the same thing.

kelle

I believed that babies were got from a hospital - you went in and picked one. I was furious with mum when she took home a boy I demanded she go back and pick a girl instead! Well, I was only 4....

James T Kirk

That Steve Majors was the coolest man ever.

Actually, he still is. :cool:

Apanachi

I thought a virgin was a kind of a saint, as in the "Virgin Mary" meaning "Saint" Mary...


...ah, to be young and naive again

cyrusdvirus

James T Kirk wrote: »

That Steve Majors was the coolest man ever.

Actually, he still is. :cool:

I always thought that Lee Majors was an actor who played a character called Steve Austin.

some random drunk

That leaving phone cards overnight in the freezer would cause them to fill up with credit again. Didn't work. Then I tried leaving them in the freezer overnight with magnets attached. Yeah, still didn't work.

baalthor

I thought women spontaneously became pregnant when they reached a certain age.
I couldn't understand why people were so mean about unmarried mothers, surely they shouldn't be blamed for getting pregnant before they met someone they wanted to marry.

Handy11

I thought if you swallowed chewing gum, it'd stick to your heart.

I thought if you crushed up a bag of crisps a bit before eating them it made "more".

senordingdong

A broken biscuit did not have the same mass as a complete biscuit.

**Timbuk2**

I thought that things that happened in the past were actually in black and white

James T Kirk

gatecrash wrote: »

I always thought that Lee Majors was an actor who played a character called Steve Austin.

And right you are too, my friend. Clearly, I don't have a 'bionic' brain. :pac:

Lady Chuckles

I used to think all horses were boys and all cows were girls.
... And then when they'd fall in love the cow would give birth to more horses and cows

mattjack

alan1990 wrote: »

I tought baked beans were little balls of mashed potato!

I thought baked beans were baby farts...

some random drunk

I remember being young and our dog was pregnant. I asked my mom if the puppies would come out the dog's mouth when they were born? Wtf was I thinking?!

sunflower27

I thought if I put the little silver batteries from my Donkey Kong game into the freezer overnight that they would recharge and last a bit longer.

I also thought if you were a thespian, you were some type of lesbian.:p That's cringe-worthy.

I also thought you'd get really sick if you swallowed the seeds in fruit.

oldyouth

I thought I'd stick my shlty job for just a year before I'd change and do something enjoyable

I thought if I twisted my handle bars around on my bike that I could still cycle it but by turning left to go right etc. Then I thought it would be safe to cycle down a steep hill that way.

I thought my giant koala teddy made a perfect boyfriend for the decidedly smaller barbie.

I was told if you killed a snail with a white shell that the other snails would cover you in your sleep. Completely believed this.

And very, very weirdly I thought the devil lived in mirrors and didn't look in a mirror for about two years unless someone else was in the room. Used to cover them over with sheets and everything!!!:o

Chris Martin

The VERY busy policeman that seems to be living a few doors away from every child who's been/being naughty

cailinardthair

I thought if I ate seeds from an apple a tree would grow inside me!!

Mr.Crinklewood

You had to be over Seven to drink "7 UP"

Coeurdepirate

That gay men had sex by pushing the tips of their penises together. And I'd demonstrate using my two index fingers.

robman60

Genuine cringe-worthy one here:

Just about four years ago (aged 12) I heard the song "I wanna be a rockstar". I completely misinterpreted the meaning of the mile high club and kept telling my mother we were all members of the mile high club. I didn't understand why my older brother was laughing his ass off and when he finally told me I couldn't believe it and didn't talk for a good day or so...

sunflower27

cailinardthair wrote: »

I thought if I ate seeds from an apple a tree would grow inside me!!

Same. I was worried if I swallowed dirt and opened my mouth in the sunshine that I was asking for trouble

St.Spodo

I thought I'd be more than good enough to play for Liverpool when I grew up. The fact that that turned out to be quite true is no great reflection on my football skills :pac:

Dotrel

kfallon wrote: »

Santa Claus was real.....and Jesus!

I reckon Santa Claus has created more atheists than anything else.

paddyandy

At ten i believed everything at 20 i disbelieved everybody.Today much older i look for layers in everything and believe and doubt everything at the same time.We are too light and breezy in ireland.I saw talking cars in Disneys grafton st and thought is'nt growing up difficult enough without that nonsense.Kids hardly need it.

OneArt

Don't know if I've said this before but I used to think we all lived inside the world. When I saw pictures of the world from space, I used to think that people lived under the blue parts and thats why the sky was blue. So by that logic I also thought that some parts of the world had green or desert-coloured skies.

God, kids are dumb.

Conall Cernach

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

I thought that things that happened in the past were actually in black and white

In a similar vein I thought that TV showed real events until I noticed that Kojak was also driving a tank during The Battle of the Bulge.

John Doe1

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

I thought prettiness in a girl was inversely proportional to her promiscuity/sex-drive.

I though that too:eek:

Also i thought if you were a nice guy the girls would like you and let you into their vagina

I thought nickelback were good:D

Eroticfishcake

I thought a blow job was well like as the name suggests, blowing ...fortunately I found out before I gave anyone a blowdry.

John Doe1

Eroticfishcake wrote: »

I thought a blow job was well like as the name suggests, blowing ...fortunately I found out before I gave anyone a blowdry.

Ha they really need to the change the name, im sure you are not the only one this has happened too.:D

Flincher

When I was very young I asked my mother why some poos were messier than others. Rather than being bothered to explain the range of contributing factors, I was told that "if you make a windie when you're making a wee wee that makes the poo messy". Hence a year or so of holding in farts when I was sitting on the toilet.

I also remember in Dublin zoo asking my dad a certain guerilla was a figther guerilla like on the news. Evidently I misunderstood the concept of guerilla warfare.

IcedOut

When I was small I thought sex ment kissing
And one day when I saw 2 people kissing and I roared out 'EWW THEY'RE HAVING SEX'

What I'd do to be 6 again

pragmatic1

I thought life was fair. I thought you could trust people.

Still think people are good on balance but I wouldnt trust any of you mother****ers as far as I could throw you.

silvervixen84

I thought that little people lived inside the radio

Angron

When I was really young, I thought people who spoke different languages were translating it into English in their heads, partially cause that's pretty much what I did for Irish.

Conchir

I thought to get the tour buses with no roof or half a roof, they built normal double deckers, then got giants to tear the roof off. I **** you not.

I also assumed that, because Irish people spoke English, English people spoke Irish. I think that one is fair enough. Not as bad as the first one anyway.

FinnLizzy

Funny story involving two parties:

Friend: *talking about something and mentioning head* Do you even know what head is?

Me: No?

Friend: Hahaha, and I'm younger than you and everything. It's a blowjob, do you even know what a blowjob is?

Me: Yeah, isn't that when a woman puts your penis in her mouth?

Friend: WTF? No, its when she rubs her hair around it! That's gross!

I blame Hollywood. They can be smutty, but don't give the entire picture. Thank god for pron!

J. Marston

When I was small, my parents used to go to mass on a Saturday evening and I'd be dragged along but since it was Saturday, Man United would be playing (more often than not...) and I'd be wearing my replica shirt.
But I used to change my top before going to mass. My Mam thought I was a great boy for taking off the silly football top and putting on a nice shirt for mass but I thought if I wore a shirt with a devil on it, inside a church, the priest would shout at me and I would go to hell.

boomkatalog

I thought confession boxes were toilet cubicles, people never stopped getting taller and sex was putting a penis in cleavage.

some random drunk

J. Marston wrote: »

When I was small, my parents used to go to mass on a Saturday evening and I'd be dragged along but since it was Saturday, Man United would be playing (more often than not...) and I'd be wearing my replica shirt.
But I used to change my top before going to mass. My Mam thought I was a great boy for taking off the silly football top and putting on a nice shirt for mass but I thought if I wore a shirt with a devil on it, inside a church, the priest would shout at me and I would go to hell.

Haha, I did the same. I wouldn't wear my Man Utd jersey to mass or go inside a church wearing it cos I was worried people would see the devil on the crest and be offended...

theT

I thought cocaine was what they made coca cola out off, ould never understand why it was illegal.......

I also thought that my Da was huge, turns out he's just 5 foot 8 and fat....

RichieC

I remember being really small and staring at the sun thinking it looked like a big hole in the sky..

ToddyDoody

I thought a man came around in the evenings to make sure you had gone to bed, i thought the weather forecasters controlled the weather, i thought the newreaders might be able to see you the same way you can see them, i thought dog's were always chewing pink hubba bubba, i thought wearing a particular teeshirt meant you'd get lost, i thought the sun rarely shone in the midlands, i thought leaving a marble outside made it go cloudy and i guessed fat literally fell off people onto the ground

starlit

I thought fairies and the boogie man existed!